Is it wrong that I enjoyed a sexual relationship with a guy who had a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

When I first met this guy he asked me to be his girlfriend. We talked and I agreed. But basically his actions didn't reflect his words. At some point I realized we were only having a sexual relationship. In the process I found out he had a girlfriend. But I still continued our sexual relationship because I'd gotten comfortable with him after almost a year of us seeing each other... albeit mainly for sex. And the sex was good. I never told him I knew about his girlfriend. I let him tell his lies.

What I didn't get was why he kept on telling me he wanted to be exclusive and serious. I was direct with him on several occasions in that I told him I knew he really just wanted sex with me. Yet he'd deny. He would also get upset when I would distance myself from him sometimes. I did finally end things with him for good which seemed to piss him off. But I also told him I knew of the other. He left me a long hostile message saying it was not true and that he wanted to talk to me about it.

Am I wrong for going along with him so I could get more sex? I figured he'd lie too so why not get something in return. Guys lie for sex so why not I.

Why would he get so angry about me ending things? Upset that his sex situation with me ended? Why didn't he just be truthful.

Mind you I said nothing to the girlfriend. She's in love with him, plans to start a family with him, and feels he can do no wrong. I know this threw a friend of a friend that is associated with her. I do feel a tinge of remorse. But like I said he lied first. Yet, my naughty side wants to start back up with him.

Updates

+1 y

I'm actually thinking about him now. Another turn on for me was the unprotected sex. Yes he's probably doing it with both of us. He's just so yummy to me. And he's an aggressive type. And controlling but somehow he has become a kinky naughty fantasy to me too. Ooh if only his girlfriend knew.

[D_Bone_Steak]

One thing I've noticed about people that want another all to themselves alone, but still leave the option to have sex with other people open for themselves, is that they use the 'in a relationship with you' status as a way to block your other options.

I mean think about it... he's doing that to the woman he's with... and he arrogantly thinks he's pulling that off with you. I'd say the reason he reacts to you knowing with such denial is because he doesn't want the relationship status to become more open ended on your side of things. Basically... he just doesn't want you thinking it's okay to fuck some other dude... just like he probably doesn't want his girl to either.

[Asker]

Yeah, he once asked if I was seeing someone else and I said no and he was like good cause he didn't want me to.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I read some of the other answers...@Dchrls78104 posed some very important questions. ... and then you admit you recognize he's just trying to control you. I point out what I told you is he's trying to control you. The point is, he's just trying to lock some pussy down with a 'keep-a-lady-baby' but has no intention of building a meaningful relationship. He's just trying to lock more and more pussy down...

My guess as to why is validation issues. "I get all this pussy, therefore I'm more of man," probably is the reasoning. My first question as an outsider to all of this... Does he place a whole lot of emphasis on how manly he is? I mean there's some of us dudes workout or make sure we dick the girl down good... and more reasons if we need numbers of girls dicked down good.

Sum it up, yes, he is just trying to control you. He's trying to control her. His reasons though are just to keep the pussy his. If you're comfortable with that... give him what he wants because you like it. If not though, ... he he he... you know you could turn the 'control' table around on him right?

I mean literally you could force him to be your sex slave... doing what you want... or else you'll tell her.

[D_Bone_Steak]

After reading your update...

I understand, and have your fun... but take precautions not to get pregnant unless you plan on trapping him with a baby yourself.

[Phillip_Pinto]

Wrong for enjoying sex? Definitely not. Wrong for doing that with someone that's taken? Definitely. I would definitely try to tell the girl what happened (conviniently leaving out the part that you knew about it while u were a thing). She doesn't deserve to be played like that. And girl. If you want sex. Go buy a pack of condoms, and just walk up to a guy u find cute, ask for his phone, so you can make a phone call, write ur number in, and while u give the phone back, say call me. Nothing to lose. Just try not to do that to someone you know is in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like Russian Roulette on his part. Who cheats without protection? A man who doesn't give a shit about possibly getting another woman pregnant which would break his girlfriends heart and possibly giving her STDS. I'm not saying you have stds but he isn't a careful person. If it wasn't you it would be some other woman. Did you ask for labs on a regular basis if you aren't using condoms?

I"m not sure what you really want from us in our responses. To me it is morally wrong. Elicit activities always come at a cost. It just might not have happened to you yet.

[R_Cakes91]

You both used each other for sex. Given that you knew he had a girlfriend and didn’t care shows your character. If I were the other girlfriend and found out about you, I’d be pretty upset and be very hurt by both of you.

It also doesn’t matter what kind of person the girlfriend is, you are still disrespecting her on a real and deep level. The fact that you are also using her bad character as an excuse to keep fucking her boyfriend is proof that you and this dude belong together.

[OlderAndWiser]

How would you feel if you were the other girl and you found out about the side chick banging your boyfriend?

[PrincessGrail]

U r horny

I’ve been the other woman before. Just don’t fall for him.

[Asker]

I haven't fallen for him. I so want to make another dick appointment with him. I'm trying to resist the urge.

[PrincessGrail]

I know u need him

[PrincessGrail]

Be careful with the unprotected sex

[Yesimreal]

once a cheat always a cheat. You know about one girlfriend. Is it possible that there maybe another 1. Maybe 2 more women. Maybe more. Your aware he lies to
you and his girlfriend. Do you know if he hooks up randoms, swingers hell even guys. Then you mentioned his aggressive and controlling. It dosent matter what anyone else thinks is right or wrong with your situation. Its not uncommon. I know a lot of men who do things like this. They are disloyal and self centered. My advice for you is be very careful. Goodluck

[Lliam]

Girlfriends are just that. It's not the same as marriage. The guy is dishonest, though, so women should stay away from him. It would be nice if his girlfriend found out that he was lying to her but I wouldn't want her to find out about you and be mad at you. You really didn't do anything wrong. But now that you know the reality, you should stay tell him to fuck off, even though I totally understand the sexual attraction. It's too bad that you can't just enjoy getting plowed without the burden of knowing that the guy is a dishonest, two timing, prick.

[Dchrls78104]

Of course it is. Let's say the girlfriend found out about the two of you. There's a lot of anger and she dumps him so he becomes yours. What would you do with him then? Would you really keep and be happy with him? If you dump him, what would that make you?
If she forgave him and they reconciled, how would you feel?
If you became pregnant, what would you do? How would it affect him?
Suppose she didn't find out right away, how long could the two of you last before she did find out?
Considering these scenarios, is what you are doing really worth it in the end?

[Asker]

Well, what is crazy is that he got her pregnant but she miscarried. Then he started saying he wanted me pregnant.. I don't think he meant but was trying to control me... like him not wanting to use condoms with me. Apparently sharing each other is caring in his world.

[sejla]

He's a mess.

[Anonymous]

I think I've seen this situation before. It turns out that he's not happy with his current girlfriend. Maybe if he gets some security from you that you want ditch him he'll leave her for you. But he won't get that because you are clear about it being just a sexuall relationship.
I'd say you need to understand that either you have him fully or you don't.
Meaning you figure out what you want from him. If it's not a relationship.. Then move on and find a new fuck buddy. But if you have feelings for him then confront him and he'll have to let go of his current girlfriend.

This just an opinion. Take it or leave it. ^^

[Miss_Savanna_Dry]

I have no respect for someone that thinks this is okay. How you continued to have sex with him when you figured out he has a girlfriend is just plain wrong. Therefore one day when a man cheats on you, don't get angry. Litterally don't know how you could live with yourself knowing he is going to his girlfriend after that completely clueless. Just wrong. I can't get over this fact to even address the rest of your question.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it was wrong of you to continue having sex with him knowing he had a girlfriend think about how you would have felt if you were the girlfriend who was being cheated on and how much this will hurt her if she one day finds out I really think you need to forget about him and move on

[Asker]

I should think of her. But sex with him is so good. Plus she seems like a snob that thinks she is perfect. I gather this from her Instagram posts I found where she kinda talks down about others and brags about her designer clothes etc. Brags about how great her relationship with the guy is. While I know its not right I took some joy in knowing he was cheating on her with me. But you are right I should move on. I'm going to try.

[R_Cakes91]

It doesn’t matter what kind of person she is, this is an incredible selfish and disrespectful thing to do to anyone.

[midnightmoon05]

Feeling kinda sick to my belly reading this... and very disappointed and sad for his girlfriend.
I have been the woman who values one partner relationship and fought nail and tooth to keep a family together to prevant hurts for others. But usually the one who wants to do the right thing gets hurt.
As I read more on GAG... make me wonder if this is the norm of society.
I wish you meet a nice man to treat you well and find happiness.

[Dovestar]

I think either this is a fake post and you are looking for attention, or you are a skank and deserve all the bad karma that will eventually come back to you on this. This is one of the reasons guys use women so much, because girls like you give women a bad image. How bout you grow up, stop looking for negative attention and quit trying to enable bad relationships.

[Dantiger45]

This is a total mess and in my view totally wrong. You are allowing him to have the best if both worlds here. Some guys would love this situation but it's totally immoral. If he really cared about you or the other woman he would make a commitment. Any relationship based solely on sex & lies isn't a healthy one. If you really cared & respected yourself you wouldn't even entertain this. I personally couldn't do this if I truly loved woman.

[smg99]

It’s clear you are falling for him now it’s going to become a pre occupation that might keep you wondering all the time about him.

[BrookieCookie0422]

I think you’re better off staying away from that. You could get into some trouble with that one and he doesn’t seem like a good guy to be around anyway

[CandacePerry]

It wrongs you should. Girl in college did same thing but without sex but still got cheated on. Other user don't waste your time on a hoe.

[luvstoned4him]

You were both using eachother so why is he mad about it? smh

[humanearth]

Get back together with him and let the other woman catch you two together. So she can see for herself. What a loser he is.

[Texaskid1]

What's wrong is you did not have a threesome with this guy and his girlfriend.

Next time just go for it.

[jirwin7979]

my girlfriend is ok with me finding another girl to have fun with but iam not good looking enough for most girls it sux cuz i got a big heart on my sleeve

[Browneye57]

You have a very low opinion of yourself, your value. I would encourage some professional counseling.

[Pink2000]

You should’ve told his girlfriend so she wouldn’t waste her time with him