What causes a girl to cheat on her boyfriend or husband?

Question

Why would a girl in a committed relationship want to do this? What is your experience, or that of someone you know?

Britantic · Accepted Answer

Typically, females step out on a committed partner for one or more of the following reasons:
•They feel underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. They feel more like a housekeeper, nanny, or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. So they seek an external situation that validates them for who they are, rather than the services they perform.
1. They crave intimacy. Women tend to feel valued and connected to a significant other more through non-sexual, emotional interplay (talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc.) than sexual activity. When they’re not feeling that type of connection from their primary partner, they may seek it elsewhere.
2. They are overwhelmed by the needs of others. Recent research about women who cheat indicates that many women, despite stating that they deeply love their spouse, their home, their work, and their lives, cheat anyway. These women often describe feeling so under-supported and overwhelmed by having to be all things to all people at all times that they seek extramarital sex as a form of life-fulfillment.
3. They are lonely. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely, and they seek connection through infidelity to fill the void.
4. They expect too much from a primary relationship. Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.
5. They are responding to or re-enacting early-life trauma and abuse. Sometimes women who experienced profound early-life (or adult) trauma, especially sexual trauma, will re-enact that trauma as a way of trying to master or control it.
They’re not having enough satisfying sex at home. There is a societal misconception that only men enjoy sex. But plenty of women also enjoy sex, and if they’re not getting it at home, or it’s not enjoyable to them, for whatever reason, they may well seek it elsewhere.

BattleKitten77 · Accepted Answer

I can definitely tell this was written by a woman. Almost all of the excuses blame the man. Can you imagine a guy doing this. Yea didn't think so. That is why women cheat because they do not take responsibility and they are selfish cunts. They get pregnant. He took advantage of me. Get drunk and have sex. He raped me. Women cheat because it has become acceptable for women to be perpetual children. They find someone with a bigger wallet and blame the man. He didn't take care of me.
Every woman i know was not to blame for their breakups. If i had a dollar for every he hit me and touched the children story i have heard, my assistant would be typing this for me.

daliah · Accepted Answer

I hate when people come up with excuses for why women cheat : "she lacks intimacy in her relationship" , "her husband doesn't pay her enough attention" , "she's just lonely". But when a man cheat? Hell to the no. He is an asshole, he is a scumbag...(

Why is it different tho? Anyone who cheats is a scumbag and has no excuse, if you're not happy in your relationship walk away and stop trying to have it both ways.

MissKittyz · Accepted Answer

Usually it is because she is receiving less affection, love, care from her partner. Doesn't feel like a true loving relationship anymore. She's unhappy but isn't ready to end the relationship yet. And then someone else in her life actually gives her something her bf/husband isn't giving her like affection for example. She starts to be closer to that person and eventually that's when she cheats on her partner.

jojouzumaki · Accepted Answer

“Neglect” when you started to feel that your partner is not paying enough attention to you or not spending enough time with you.

YetiG · Accepted Answer

I feel like most relationship people problems come down to a lack of solid conversation skills. Humans can't read minds people! And that goes for all genders.
If your sexually unsatisfied let the person know, maybe you can spice up the bedroom with some toys or different positions or role-play.
If you want more romance, let them know. People don't magically become perfect for each other just through sheet coincidence.
If there's something you don't like about your S/Os behavior then just try to have an open and honest convo about it. Sometimes they don't know what they're doing annoys you, just try to keep it away from "I hate it when..." And go more in the direction of "y'know id really like it if you..." While trying to keep it from sounding negative.
Keeping things positive can really help when talking about things you'd like to see them change. And if they don't get to the point where you like them for it, be patient and know change doesn't happen overnight. Be supportive, if they're a decent person they'll try their best to be a little more like the person you want them to be more like, but know this is a two way street and you might have to change as well. Try to keep your ego out of it, no single human on this Earth is perfect, so you have to help each other strive be better people together.

TheWombRaider · Accepted Answer

The husband not makingher felt wanted or pretty.

Desconhecida · Answer

In my opinion, when a woman cheats, her relationship is over. I'm not saying that is more common or simpler for a man to cheat but as a girl, I think most of us need to be pretty disappointed with a partner to do this.
Women tend to get involved and if they cheat it means they are in love with another man, it's rarely just sex

ShadezMcgee · Answer

From what I have heard and seen from most men that experienced it, it was because their wife/girlfriend was with them, butncheated because another guy had what he didn't and that she liked having a provider and thrill.

That may be heavily skewed with all the red pill, MGTOW, incel, hypergamy rhetoric that seems to play into what they said, but a good amount of them fell in line with that rhetoric. "She is never yours. It's just your turn."

Then it's off to the "Cock Carousel".

Personally, I feel that a lot of it comes from parenting, modern day feminism encouraging women to be more independent and that they don't need a man that it made them embrace masculinity and live like men, and fear of committing.

GhettoGirl · Answer

The sick excitement of getting away with something, he thinks he knows soo much but he dont know about this, it gets wild in the mind of one whom finds the most exciting sex is the forbidden cheat.
I've done this twice to two different guys that pulled even begged me into relationships I didn't want to be in. Both relationships lasted about six months and my cheating started within the first month on both occasions.

Kha0tiic_xo · Answer

Welk my bestie is a slut I love her but she is, she has an amazing solid man and she assumes he's cheating all the time because girls throw themselves at him even though he's not so she'll get drunk and go to the bar and after grinding on some guy she'll fuck him in the bathroom of the club then cry about it the next day! She also has a very high sex drive!

CubsterShura · Answer

I've seen underage brides who were forced to marry older men cheat with younger guys. So maybe eradicate forced marriage and child marriage first. One of my sister's ex colleagues married a 17yo at age 35+ and literally acts hella submissive to her and gives her whatever she wants just in fear that she will leave him for a younger man. This is the only category of men that deserves to be cheated on in my book. Why would he even marry such a young girl who didn't even finish high school despite child marriage being illegal AND knowing that he would never be able to satisfy her the way a younger guy closer to her age is capable of?

Keeping that aside, cheaters are cheaters are cheaters and even people in the happiest relationships will cheat if they don't have the right mindset. Nothing justifies cheating.

dianagirl · Answer

Probably for the same reasons that a boy cheats on his girlfriend or wife.

The answer to this (and other questions) are answered in free-ebooks' "Are Women the Stronger Sex". It can be due to the reasons you mentioned as well as not getting love and attention from her partner and so she is easily seduced by someone else - an opportunist who sees that the woman is neglected and takes advantage of her vulnerability.

EriFrancis1994 · Answer

Selfishness. It's self-serving because she can get what she desires without a thought of what she's doing to the guy. Sleep around as much as you want, I have no qualms about that. Just don't do it whilst in a relationship. It's distasteful to say the least, and no excuse is good enough

Aguysopinion4799 · Answer

Not true devotion/ dedication to the relationship

Being 100% honest here, all these cases are not acceptable reasons,

A- Talk with the partner, that's what relationships are about, talking and communicating

B- Break the relationship off, don't cheat on them, do you think cheating on an abusive partner is a safe choice?

C- Ask the partner if they are okay with them trying it, don't cheat, it isn't ever acceptable to cheat on someone.

If someone tried to support these points, try switching it to guys,
If a guy cheats on a girl for ANY of these reasons, they are seen as 100% unjust and the guy is hated for it, if the girl does it, then people say she had good reason to and that the guy probably caused her to.

Cheating is something you must never do, regardless of your situations.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

1) They don't want to adhere to the terms currently set in their relationship.
2) Are lazily not communicating or trying to change some of the terms... perhaps exploring your bi sexuality for instance, is something your partner is cool with.
3) And the very reason we call it cheating... just like a child that cheats in a game, it's for personal gain and it's all about deception.

Personally I think you should just end the terms if you want out first. I add this because many people use the cheating as a way to end the relationship, instead of ending it first and then doing what they want.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Well its not because he is "abusive", that is just an attempt at justifying it. If your being abused and you have the guts to do that but not the guts to leave the guy, something is definitely wrong with you mentally. It just doesn't add up.

What it is is that she is done with the relationship but she doesn't want to abandon the security of it, so she basically uses him as her security blanket then goes out and has the "fun" that comes with being single. Its her being both selfish and a coward. Also the more sexual partners she has had the more likely she is to cheat, statistically speaking, so that is also something to consider, past actions and personal weakness determine whether or not she will cheat.

markscott · Answer

I'd imagine the most common reason is feeling lonely, in the sense of insufficient intimacy and appreciation. Though of course, issues like not understanding and appreciating what true intimacy is, and seeking emotional intensity instead of relational intimacy. Both men and women often don't very well understand what drives us to do some things.

maddog998 · Answer

I have cheated when I was yonger and in the so called "love triangle" but I totally regret it now.
So people are scared to leave because of many reasons:
1. Getting beat
2. Trust/Loyal ain't there
3. Not spending enough time together
4. "Love Triangle"
5. Scared to speak about their feelings
6. Have a child together and don't want to end things

StephanieL · Answer

I know from a lot of my friends, it's a lot more simple and kind of sad. It's very often just out of lust for sex with a new/other person again. The sexual lust kinda takes over the care for the husband/bf and only later the regret kicks in. Or not even. A lot of my friends just don't tell about it and act like it never happened.

Buckzor · Answer

The bottom line is that something in the relationship isn't living up to the standard they want, it could be sexually, or it could be something completely different.

People will cheat when they FIND the thing or one of the things they DESIRE and haven't been able to find so far.

Bub64xp · Answer

Abuse doesn't have to mean being beaten or verbal abuse. Neglect could be considered a form of abuse, so if they're being ignored or having their needs left unfulfilled, it's not crazy to imagine them seeking it elsewhere. It may not even start as a desire to cheat, but once they start getting that fulfillment from another person, attachments form, desires start arising, and they're in the thick of it before ya know it.

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

I am guessing but here's my opinion, not in any specific order:

1. Confuses sex and sexual attention with love

2. Curiousity

3. Impaired judgement e. g. alcohol or drug abuse

4. Taken advantage of and, or persuaded

5. Fetishism, likes being caught

6. Lack of sex from current relationship

7. Lack of desirability from current partner

8. Abusive relationship can be a factor

9. Attachment due to spending too much time with another person rather than partner

BestUserName100 · Answer

Personality trait thing. Some people are just wired to not be faithful and use people. They might be liars and manipulators and you can’t trust a word they say. They never had plans on being faithful, only plans to use and abuse you, and someday break your heart knowing all along they were going to. They just don’t care.

taleets · Answer

I think feeling undesired will lead to cheating. If the man is spending less time with her and isn’t giving her attention then she will look elsewhere for it.

Neeceeb7 · Answer

Well I dont really know. My thought on this is that if you are going to sleep with someone else doesn't matter if your man or woman you need to get out of the first relationship. I dont care your reasons for straying are it's no reason to hurt someone. I guess cheating hits close to home for me. So why do people do that knowing it is going to hurt someone th hey said they love

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Unresolved insecurities (father issues, need for male attention, etc.) go to the top of my list, since that's the only defining motivation I can attribute to girl who cheated on me. Perhaps some of it could be insecurity in the relationship, especially if the relationship is in its dying days either way, and cheating is like a "hail mary" attempt to go out guns blazing. But emotionally secure, mature people do not cheat. Cheating is a sign they've got more growing up and self-reflection to do.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

The same thing that causes a man to cheat on his woman, LACK OF DISCIPLINE. It takes spine, discipline, and durability to be faithful. You have to be a rock. You have to be unmovable and unbreakable. Most people are fragile and easily displaced. They are weak. Loyal partners are strong.

Justaskaway · Answer

People are greedy and they always want better no matter how good it is sometimes. I've never cheated or been cheated on but I've had these feeling and I know I've had girls in my life who've felt the same way no matter how deep in love you are usually you feel like something is missing.

modeve · Answer

Many factors are involved, for example, sexual dissatisfaction, indifferent attitude, diminishing of love, abusive relations, husband's attachment with other girl, wife's own hyper-sexuality and curiosity to explore it, company she stays with, etc.

Lauren-green · Answer

I think there should be an option for "because he also cheated on her" as I've heard of that happening a lot

NightFlirt · Answer

There are a variety of reasons why anyone cheats. The SO is always working and she feels neglected, physical or emotional abuse can cause someone to cheat. But I think the #1 reason for it is an insecure SO who constantly accuses the other of cheating even if they are not. Eventually the one being accused will just say the hell with it and go have the affair they are being accused of having.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Besides being an overall scumbag of a person. Like I said about 90% of people that cheat in a relationship, there is something missing. For men, the women don't give enough effort, or enthusiasm. Sometimes very lazy. Not willing to explore further. Woman, most of the time, they aren't getting the Hollywood romance that they dream there men to have. Or they are being treated they way the feel they should.

Something is missing either way.

AthleticMom · Answer

Usually just prior to 30yo some deep thinking about her future begins and thoughts of trading up begin, esp. on a money/retirement theme... bring along some physical upgrades and family security helps seduce her

Finchie40 · Answer

Number 1 reason is ciuz she is selfish , she craves Money, status thinks grass is greener, attention seeker, only cares about herself, doesn't feel beautiful anymore so she is drawn to someone that says she is beautiful, her husband or boyfriend out on some pounds so she is drawn to a guy that takes care of himself or has a higher paying job. SO Selfishness is the number 1 reason a girl cheats

Jammers14 · Answer

Or, the husband not giving her what she needs emotionally and/or physically.
He could have erectile dysfunction, depression, alcoholic (makes you less hard), lazy, weight gain.
And so many other things.

djmzes · Answer

Simple

HoneyButterCup525 · Answer

The fact he never offers to go out, never gifted me anything nor ever gave a flower (which I clearly hinted him). He never comments my art work nor encourages it and acts like its not much. Plus he never comments my appearance nor ever called me beautiful or made me feel wanted

ChiTown33 · Answer

Being a whore. I mean we can mince words all we like but the fact that she doesn't just dump him or divorce him if it's gotten to that point first over cheating on him makes her a whore... sorry.
The same goes for men!

leinad122 · Answer

I will take a guess : Either because he isn't taking good care of her (give time, attention,...) so she goes find someone that will either she never had real feelings for him and he was a just a temporary situation untill she finds the one she likes

Passinggas · Answer

Swollen clit syndrome. .. Actually, most women truly down deep hate/despise their SO and it is in their nature to one-up and find that next best branch in the mating hypergamy evolutionary model. I don’t think it is spite as much as they seek their perceived best gene pool. Boredom, disgust, little-financial, little-dck, eats-strange, sucks-his-teeth, no-bad-boy-gene, and so on… are all symptoms of the breeding up instinct.

MajesticTwelve · Answer

She's a selfish narcissistic bitch who doesn't care who she hurts as long as she gets to do what she feels like.

Keyarose · Answer

Some girls love attention from more than one man. Or some just have a cheating problem.

ClosetHoe · Answer

It could be any of these choices. Usually, women cheat because she's missing something emotionally in a relationship. Her partner probably isn't giving her enough attention.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

if he is to busy to have sex with her and when she has the urge to have sex then she will do it with who ever is handy around her ! thanks

CarpetDenim · Answer

Some kind of dissatisfaction with her relationship with her boyfriend or husband, whether it be sexual or emotional

DanishSaint · Answer

Low self-esteem or the prospect of a huge cock!

I don´t know. Many things factor in to this. But self-esteem, insecurity or similar things very much. And then there are always the ones who are just fucking sluts! :)

thatmartialartsguy · Answer

I feel like it's a combination of factors as well. The man in the relationship may not be leading his life in an attractive and powerful way. The woman might not be taking care of herself and failing to be a supportive partner. I know that the times I've thought about cheating have been when I felt my partner would not be the person who would be a good mother for my future children or was starting to become someone other than I wanted. It's a tough question

Jasminne · Answer

Being greedy and not appreciating what you’ve already have.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

People that typically cheat wheather men or women do so becaus and in their deep thinking conscience don't believe they belong just to one person.

Exclusive relationship doesn't appeal much to them, so if a right opportunity under the right circumstances and person to their liking present itself they will commit adultery behind your back.

Most humans aren't faithful, its human nature.

adolescentswede · Answer

Novelty, connection, thrill of doing something prohibited.

If you want a more in depth knowledge you could read Sex at dawn, which is a book which discusses sexual history and culture through evolution and history

andreasucks · Answer

None of those options for me. I cheated because I needed some new dick. I still loved him

aialex · Answer

It takes two to tango.  She could be all of the above, but if the guy didn't reciprocate, she only has her hands/toys to cheat with.

SilentWatchman · Answer

Probably for the same reasons guys do. A, B and C are all possible, though some guys wouldn’t consider C cheating if it was a one time thing and he got to hear about it.

sawno · Answer

Partner isn't satisfying her yet is not someone she wants to break up with is my guess.

Jerre · Answer

I have had sex with married woman whose husband could not give them orgasms when fucking. They knew through the grapevine that I could give them more orgasms than any man around their neighborhood. I am single so I have the option of fucking who I want.

crazy8000 · Answer

Self sabotage, doesn't really love the person only attached lust convenience. There isn't any excuses for doing it and what they do speaks for itself no matter what they say.

A-man-22 · Answer

There is no excuse for cheating End the relationship if you don't feel comfortable.

BillieJean1070 · Answer

I've had sex with a man who's wife lost interest in having sex in her late 30's or early 40's.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

The same thing that causes men to cheat - selfishness.

SarahElizabeth98 · Answer

Some women just can’t stick with one man. Cheating is wrong regardless of what sob story is used. Just leave.

emmily2396 · Answer

I don't know, I wouldn't get into a relationship just to cheat. If I am with a guy then I like him enough to be faithful amd not look anywhere else.

Arthur_Shelby · Answer

Girls are just naturally unfaithful and crave to sleep with many different men. It's biological - they need to sleep with many men in order to find the "most alpha" one in order to procreate and have the strongest offspring.

That's why women are vastly more promiscuous than men.

Reiho_On · Answer

There's no excuse that you cheat on your boyfriend if you're unhappy you break up cheating is selfish

englisc · Answer

Usually because she's damaged. Any of the other reasons stem from that usually.

Whitewolf24 · Answer

Girl's cheat for a variety of reasons but the most common I'd say is the loss of passion for their partner.

Tiffanykells · Answer

I cheated on my ex boyfriend because he wasn't paying me much attention

What causes a girl to cheat on her boyfriend or husband?

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What makes a guy want to cheat on his girlfriend or wife?

What causes a girl to cheat on her boyfriend or husband?

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What makes a guy want to cheat on his girlfriend or wife?

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