My husband is liking random pictures of women that his friends post on social media. What should I do?

Question

Ok so my husband has been recently liking pictures of naked girls on Facebook and he doesn't ever tag me in posts or anything and he told me oh its because it's funny or my single guyfriends like it but to me I am very insecure and I feel like he likes these girls more than me and is it wrong to be thinking like that at all and we are also newlyweds to so should I confront him on the situation and tell him how I feel about it or what?

LesterJester · Accepted Answer

Nude photos... On Facebook?

I didn't even know they permitted that on their platform.

Anyways, why does it matter? So he hits the like button on a picture. So what? Nothing is going to come from hitting like on a picture. The girl isn't going to magically materialise out of thin air and start jumping his bones.

Here are two facts.

Fact 1. He doesn't like those girls more than you because they're static images that do nothing but provide 5 seconds of eye candy. There is no personality, nothing regarding hobbies or interests, there is zero communication going on and there is zero chances of him hooking up with any of them.

He married you, not them. But marrying you does not automatically mean he must no longer look at any other women on the planet anymore and should only look at and revolve his life around you. Looking is one thing, doing anything beyond that is a totally different thing.

People check out other people every day. He, you, I and everybody else will see and stare at others who are physically attractive. My wife can check out other guys all she damn well wants, I don't care, so long as that's all that she's doing.

Fact 2. Nobody can fix your insecurities other than yourself. You pressuring him or guilting him to stop looking at pictures of girls or checking out girls on the street and to forever stare at the ground everywhere he goes isn't going to fix your insecurities. Even if he did all that, your insecurities are still going to remain until you figure out how to fix that.

Everything he says or does, or doesn't say and doesn't do is going to be constantly scrutinised by you and have you thinking the worst case scenarios because of your insecurities.

And that's a serious problem.

It's a serious problem because that means you don't trust him. You may say you do and think you do, but if you really did, you wouldn't give two craps about him liking some random pictures his friends post on Facebook, because you hold trust in him and trust that he isn't doing anything more.

It's a big problem because Relationships require trust in order to work. No trust means no relationship... And yet you both just got married?

This is the type of crap you guys need to sort out BEFORE you get married. You don't just have a bunch of hang ups, insecurities and trust issues in the relationship, don't sort them out and then get married anyways thinking these things can be fixed by said marriage or fixed later, after you're married... It doesn't work that way.

You can tell your husband about your concerns about this situation and talk it out to find some sort of resolution, but I think this is a clear overreaction over probably one of the most minor things I have seen people ask on here.

You can talk it out and he may even see your point of view and agree to stop with this childish banter between him and his friends...

But even if this problem is resolved, it isn't going to fix the main underlining issue you have with your insecurities and eventually there will be something else that's going to trigger you down the road. And it will keep happening until you take control of your insecurities.

If you don't take control, eventually your husband is going to start feeling like it's no longer a relationship, but just you controlling his life with little freedom and constantly walking on eggshells to avoid triggering your insecurities and starting a fight. Resentment will ensue in good time.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

LesterJester said it perfectly.
Liking images of beautiful women has nothing to do with your husband's feelings toward you.
I'm married and still watch porn occasionally. My wife knows I do and it doesn't bother her. I wouldn't mind if she watched porn, either.
When I see a particularly attractive woman, even an outstanding ass or pair of boobs in public, I notice, even when I'm with my wife. Sometimes she'll even point them out to me. And she can notice all the handsome guys she wants without fear of making me jealous.

The thing is, we trust each other. Eye candy is just eye candy. Noticing attractive people is no different than appreciating a work of art of a beautiful sunset. It's healthy and natural. It's certainly nothing to get jealous over. It would be different if you caught your husband flirting.

agent_orange · Accepted Answer

We have this common notion that it's a typical guy thing to be attracted to sexy women or like nude photos going around. But come to think of it, even women who will come across ruggedly good looking men infused with six pack abs finds them really sexy. So it goes both ways, right? But the thing is there is more to a relationship than just mere attraction. First of all, you're his wife; someone he intends to stay with for the rest of his life. But that doesn't mean that because you're married, he is not to get attracted to any women anymore. You can say, yes you find other men sexy but chose to look away and that's your choice. But you cannot expect that your husband should also do the same. And such normal behavior is not supposed to be negated as mentally cheating or as a sign of infidelity. And if you want that your husband should stop because you're hurting, you're forcing him to lie to you and do this things behind your back.
If you are secure, his liking nude or sexy photos of women and watching porn occasionally will never be an issue. It's neither an insult nor an attack or a sign that he’s no longer attracted to you. It's certainly not cheating. You cannot continue to doubt his character and loyalty and make him feel guilty for being a normal guy. He can look at anything but do nothing. He could have sexual desires towards those sexy photos but his loyalty and devotion is reserved only for you. And if you don't come a little closer to their way of thinking, you're going to undermine a good relationship with him.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Your his wife and you don't know what to do? You married him. Decide how you want your marriage to be. I suggest to confront him and tell him to stop Or the next time he comes home your gone. This is abuse here Nd it's sad that men do not see it and then want to know why their served woth divorce papers or their in a sexless marriage.

You are too weak. And he does it because you do nothing. Do NOT be silent or your silence will kill your marriage. You deserve better! They do it on purpose. How can they say theu love you but your the one who should satisfy the marriage! I find it highly funny that's so many of you say that sexual compatibility is important for any relationship. Yet you get married doing the very same thing and you still can't hold a marriage. There is a lot in your life and needs to be broken and a lot in your life and needs to be changed. This is not normal. Stop marrying, dating and having sex with these hoes!

sejla · Accepted Answer

Just tell him it bothers you. You don't have to ask him not to do it. After you tell him it bothers you see what his reaction is. If he stops doing it or does it more discretely then he is being more respectful towards you. If he blows off your concern and just keeps doing it at the same rate then the issue isn't the nudes but the fact he isn't concerned on how it makes you feel.

The thing about this it could go two ways. He understands and doesn't do it or does it rarely or he just sneaks around and does it. For some women it isn't about insecurity but they think it is morally wrong for their husband to be looking at other women that why while they are married. I mean nude not just looking.

Abmac · Answer

Unfortunately we live in a society where see naked women is easy and I don't know a man who doesn't like seeing naked women. For example, I rented a room from a older couples home in college. He over 70 wanted to own a house next to campus just so he could watch all the beautiful young girls. But never think one time he will ever want to leave his wife of over 50 years. She is his world. This seems like the same situation you are in. I will always recommend taking and being open about how you feel, but he might be doing it to fit in with his friends and do things they have done for ever too. End of my thoughts, try to keep an open mind to this, try to not over react, and keep talking.

Emerald5 · Answer

You don't have to be worried about him liking pictures of naked girls, especially those that his friends show him. Consider it just allowing him to enjoy himself and at least get relaxed from his work. Viewing pictures of someone whom he can't meet is different from contacting and communicating with another dating partner. If you notice that he starts some serious conversation with another partner, then that is something to be concerned about.
Do take note that this might trigger his sexual drive a bit more and may request you for more activeness. If you find that this makes you uncomfortable, then that can give you a reason to start discussing (not arguing) about too much naked women picture viewing.
Arguing only tears down the relationship while if both partners learn how to tolerate each others' differences, it strengthens the relationship to last.

Investigator · Answer

"my single guyfriends like it"

Tagging people on Facebook can be an effective way to "bookmark" those pictures for his friends. Also, you said it yourself, "I am very insecure"; this is a YOU problem, not a HIM problem. Even if he tags other girls on Facebook for his own enjoyment, does being married suddenly mean he can no longer find other women attractive? Do you find men who aren't your husband attractive or is it simply because it's him doing it but you doing this would be perfectly acceptable?

"we are also newlyweds"

You JUST got married and you're already having issues? Was this not addressed at any point prior or did you just assume it would stop after you got hitched?

I'm not even married to you and I want a divorce from this nonsense

StylesbyDR · Answer

Is it wrong for a guy to like how other women look naked even when he has dedicated his love to you?

Guys like naked women, and it has nothing to do with whether or not they like them more than you. We can appreciate that many women out there are stunning.

Its all a mater of perspective. If they liked all these other women more why would they decide to marry you, unless you are the one they want to be around.

Looking hot is nice and all but its not forever and you got to realize that at the end of the day, and as time goes on, personality is going to end up being far more important.

confusedrepeatedly · Answer

Set boundaries regardless whether your right or wrong logically speaking if he loves you he cares for your emotions and you in general if you tell him you dont like it and ask him nicely to stop he will probably do it dont make it confrontational by saying me or them
Say instead please Ik we love each other but it bothers me can you please stop i understand it's no big deal but if it's no big deal can you please stop just be soft dont get angry
On the other hand if he gets angry and confrontational that's a sign things aren't heading in a good direction
If that happens *
( or if he needs some more soft cajoling) ask him how he would feel if you did the same thing liking hot buff rich nude guys

PinkPenguin · Answer

You are married, so you should talk to your husband about how you feel without attacking him. Your feelings are 100% valid.
That being said, men look at other women all the time. If I were in your shoes I might have felt disrespected that my partner liked different naked women on social media for everyone to see, Including friends and family. I would in turn talk to him about my feelings, and discuss with him what the appropriate aproach would be. If this was a private matter I could just learn to live with it, but not publicly for all our family and friends to see.

Ninjazzed · Answer

He may be sexually dissatisfied with you or he’s really just a curious dude who let his eyes wander and came across some chick’s cleavage, totally unaware and oblivious to the mayhem that he’s stirring up to upset you.. it’s a very common habit with men.. as they struggle the most with porn addiction and are usually more prone to cheat.. but then again, he may just be wondering if he’s missing out on something, could be something you’re not providing him with in the relationship so he feels like he needs to seek attention from other women.. If you’re confident enough to go out on a limb to ask and/or check his FB activity, then go for it.

Only time you really need to be concerned is if it’s a recent ex or a particular woman he met via social media platform or dating site.. insist that you two have a conversation on the matter in the most discreet way possible. Can’t promise it will be the solution you’re looking for, but it’s worth a shot.

Porcelaine · Answer

Red flag. Does he have nothing better to do with his time? I would not be insecure because it is meaningless, but if the fact that it upsets you and he does not even acknowledge it or try to make you feel good about it should be a concern. Tell him they are the single guy friends so they can watch and like all these girls photos all they want, but he is a married man and has a naked girl he can touch why is he wasting time in the same way single guys do?

IMainHanzo · Answer

Yeah you should tell her how insecure you are about everything he does online. You guys need to figure out something about how you can feel more secure about yourself and how he can still keep his friends.

Regardless of what happens, he married you and you married him. If you are happy with him then you should be able to accept him wholeheartedly and not nitpick on the small things he does or says just because you feel insecure about yourself.

Its possible you just need your own hobbies and friends so your world doesn't have to revolve around him.

Good luck. 👍

harvest · Answer

Look, if you're gonna be jealous about PICTURES of naked girls, then prepare yourself to loose that battle because there isn't a man on this Planet who hasn't watched porn at least once in their life...
You can confront him and tell him how you feel, but if you're gonna demand from him to stop that, you guys will have a fight.
In my opinion - tell him how you feel, but tell him that he can still do this.

QueenTanya · Answer

Of course. It's definitely a problem if it makes you feel insecure. Confront him about it, just tell him how you feel. Don't start with, "you always...". No, start your sentence with, "I feel... when you...". So he won't feel like he's being wrongfully accused and it will lessen the argument if one occurs.

HeavyRoller · Answer

Things like this really highlight compatibility issues. Some couples don't mind this kind of thing, some do. But if you mind it and he's not willing to put it down then I feel you may not be compatible. Even if you try to ignore it or get used to it, you'll be stuffing your ire and eventually it will come out... it always does. I'm guessing too that this isn't the only sign that he's not respectful of your feelings on issues. Have an honest talk and suggest marital counselling.

slipperydip1994 · Answer

Maybe try turning his attention back to you, in a positive way: maybe give him a little surprise like a nice private show or something to remind him that he's married to a beautiful, loving wife who cooks, cleans and washes for him.

Sometimes husbands just need to be reminded of the loving woman in their life.

courtney06 · Answer

I am not married and never have been so take my advice with a grain of salt. You can talk to him about it calmly and tell him how it makes you feel when he does that. See how his actions change after. If something like that really hits a nerve and he really cares enough I would think he'd cut down on that. If he keeps doing it after you already told him how it made you feel, I'd be concerned.

vivmatt · Answer

This used to be an issue for me with my boyfriend. But eventually I stopped seeing that stuff on his phone and he came to me begging for sex like, I'm so bored I need the real thing. I'm no longer jealous of porn or pics now. Because he'll always come crawling back to me in a matter of days

Dargil · Answer

If these are people he knows and has contact with, you have reason to confront him and tell him to stop. If its random women (or their parts) off the internet this is (really!) harmless guy stuff. He is not comparing you or intending you to be insecure. This is simply eye candy. Tell him you do not want to see it. And don't you go looking for it. That's not the answer you wanted, but it is the right one.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

Confront him about it. Let him know your feeling on the matter.

However sadly many people post these types of photos online. Social media needs to flag nude images. Even if they don’t outright block or remove them. Should make it a process to look at them in general.

Some sites major social media sites even let underage people post these types of photos. Either of themselves or people they may know. Which can lead to a whole new kind of issues.

Monster_Recluse · Answer

Men are capable of admiriable a woman for no reason other than she looks hot, and for that attraction to be fleeting. All men with a sex drive look at nudie women.

rkon4117 · Answer

Take his phone and throw it out the window! JK!! You need to have a long serious however open and fruitful conversation. Not an argument or accusations, but you need to find out why he is. Tell him how it makes you feel and why your against it. If he can’t respect you obviously their is a much bigger problem that needs to be addressed.

Freelancer95 · Answer

Unless he's consistently liking pictures of one or a few particular women that he actually knows you have nothing to worry about. I doubt he would even care if you started liking all of Ryan Reynolds pictures on Instagram. It's a meaningless interaction on a social media platform designed to fuel the egos of children.

My husband is liking random pictures of women that his friends post on social media. What should I do?

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