What do you think about having a relationship without sex?

[Dinigirl17]

In relationship without doing sex, is it okay? What do you think having relationship without doing sex?

[nightdrot]

Certainly I would not hold it against anyone who wanted that kind of a relationship. As for me though, and I grant that it may seem shallow, but I need that sense of physical connection.

That physical bond is, for me at least, something that adds a degree of depth and intimacy. That is not to say that you cannot have good and even meaningful relationships without sex. Indeed you can and I have.

However, when I have sex I feel a sense of connection and of being wanted. It is like the whole world shrinks down to just the two of you and that there is nothing else and nothing else matters.

This I say as a man who loves my girlfriend - and with whom I have had three children - with all my heart. I cannot imagine my life without her and yes, I really do need her. We also tend to a very raw and primal sex. Not BDSM, but we are like two animals breeding in a field - with licking and even some biting and scratching. Not always, to be sure, but generally.

Even then, though, that raw sex adds a depth to our relationship. We are accepting each other as we are, physically and emotionally naked. Giving our bodies to each other to be used, my girlfriend unconditionally accepting from me the most elemental thing I have to give of myself - my sperm, my seed. My girlfriend giving her body to me for my pleasure and to submit to me to bear my young.

For what it is worth, my girlfriend has told me something similar. She tells me that the idea of me leaving a bit of myself in her is intensely emotional. Not just the idea of getting pregnant by me, but that I have given something very basic and elemental of myself at the moment when I am the most physically dominant and yet exposed at the same time.

Yup, I know, in one sense pure mush. Yet there it is.

Again, it sounds very raw and primal but it is very emotional, deep and intimate and I find it hard to imagine a relationship of such depth without it. So while I completely understand why some would want to have a relationship without sex for all sorts of reasons, for me it would seem somewhat shallow and less than it could be and I need and want that depth and intimacy in both the emotional and physical sense. They are linked together.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I think I'd be okay with it. I'd certainly be willing to try it. Sex is alright but there are so many things I enjoy about being in a relationship with someone. If it was a solid relationship and I was happy, I think I'd be fine without sex

[roxbby]

A relationship without sex is simply a different type of love. I want to mention that there are different types of attraction, and sometimes you can't have some sort of attraction toward a certain person or gender. There are many types of attraction because the possibilities are endless, but types of attraction are typically categorized into:

1) Aesthetical attraction
You are attracted to their physical appearance.
2) Sexual or objective attraction
You are attracted and want to engage sexually.
3) Asexual love
You love them for the person they are.

Now, I want to first say this. You can fit into all of those categories, or you can fit into only one of them--and that is completely normal! It's more likely that you are either asexually attracted to someone or aesthetically attracted or even both if you don't want to have sex with the person you are attracted to. Asexual does not mean that you do not love anyone--it means that you love them but you don't want to have sex.

There are many types of attraction that you can encounter with different types of people and different genders. Having a relationship without engaging in sex is COMPLETELY OKAY.

While our purpose of life is to live on this world and make a difference, you want to make your mark while feeling yourself, expressing yourself freely, and being happy. If having a relationship without sex is what brings you true happiness in the love aspect of your life, you will find someone who understands your beliefs and love you the same way.

People who do not understand this type of attraction are simply closed-minded and do not understand that there are infinite ways to love someone. People who love those without doing sex are just like those who do want to do sex--they do love each other and have companionship.

Always be open to be yourself and if you believe that you want to have a relationship in a certain way, you should let your partner know to make sure that's it's the best for both of you all. True love means true understanding.

Lots of love,
Roxanna

[Ninjazzed]

If you fuck them and give them what they want, they leave.. if you don’t, they leave. They leave anyway. Can’t win.

[Dinigirl17]

Oh shit! You are right!

[David_Kek]

the very fact you think sex is just some barter chip, and not an expression of your sexual desire for someone, to me that just tells me that's your problem right there.
From a mans point of view, if that's how you view sex, then you're little more than a prostitute.

[Ninjazzed]

@David_Kek Your entire comment is boring conjecture. My point is that men don’t stick around anyway. Their goal at this age is to hump and disappear without a second thought. I never said sex is “some barter chip” so don’t go jumping to conclusions. Sex is pointless in your teen years because there’s very little to no intimacy involved. Their goal is to find the easiest way into her vagina, if she doesn’t start dropping hints immediately then he’s not sticking around. But even if you fuck them, they’re off to the next prospect. Get the picture? They’re either unsatisfied when you don’t open your legs the second you meet them or they pump and dump.

[Ninjazzed]

@David_Kek Teenagers want sex with no strings attached, and it’s socially acceptable for them to be whores. Unfortunately that’s the double standard.

[thenewgirlll]

You keep bringing up what men want. But what do you want? Stop thinking about men and think about YOU. I kinda agree with David on your view of sex, but I understand your feelings for wanting more than just sex which is normal yet I see you have a very unhealthy view on it and you only focus on what men want.

[David_Kek]

I was a teenager once too, and I can tell you for a fact that you do not understand men.

[Ninjazzed]

@David_Kek You obviously don’t understand women or you’re in serious denial.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll Again, you took it the same way David did. I’m not focusing on what THEY want, I’m focusing on the fact that they don’t want anything MORE.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll I got tired of being the rebound and wasting my time when all they wanted was a fuck buddy, but instead faked an entire relationship.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll Sex was meant to be driven by love and mutual respect for each other, not lust.

[Iron_Man200]

LOL, yet 70-80% of divorces are initiated by women.

[Unit1]

Here's what you can do - take it slow 😊

[thenewgirlll]

With that I agree, it’s disgusting, most of them don’t even say it before that they only want that. Just don’t give it unless you find someone who proves to you everyday they do care.

[Ninjazzed]

@Iron_Man200 Most likely due to the fact that men are unable to keep it in their pants and practice monogamy? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ninjazzed]

@Unit1 Honestly? I tried. One of my exes I was friends with for nearly 5 years before we dated, and the end result was no different than the last.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll It’s sorta difficult to anticipate someone’s next intention, in fact it’s EXTREMELY difficult.. people are great at playing the part until the shit hits the fan and things get tough, then they don’t wanna commit and would rather avoid working things out.

[Unit1]

Yikes. Well, what can i say? Shit happens 🙁

[Ninjazzed]

@Unit1 I got tired of putting in all the effort and getting nothing in return.

[Unit1]

As do we all. Sometimes it's okay to take a break and then proceed with zero expectations later on in dating.

Perhaps try puting the right amount of effort instead of a lot of effort to not load yourself up so much. See who reciprocates. Then put in effort as much as you like (a lot)

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I would have absolutely no problem with it. In fact, I'd prefer it.

[coachTanthony]

That is called a Friendship. So I have quite a few.

[Juxtapose]

^^ this.

[Hypnos0929]

Ain't even a friendship if the dude is playing his traditional role.

[Juxtapose]

@Hypnos0929 HA! So true. It really puts the power dynamic into perspective. Women really take for granted how much control they have over heterosexual relationships.

[Unit1]

Bingo, coach!

[Apple1996]

That doesn't sound like a realtionship at all. For me a realtionship needs sex. If there's no sex then it's just a friendship

[ElissaDido]

If it's temporary, for example, until you get married, then yes.
If it's forever, then no.

There's many ways to connect with your SO, sure, but sex is an important part.

[Gsm24diecast]

For people that also don’t put thing’s like what I’m about to put into perspective to understand

Some guys are unable to have sex, some guys are born with low testosterone deficiency disorder or disabilities, sex is meaningless to these type of men (not all the time but most) , I’m one of those guys, I was also born sterile.

There are also women that don’t have sex or aren’t able to feel from disorders or disability.

Not all people need sex. Don’t take your sex life for granted,

because some people can’t have sex. (Not by choice)

Anyone can have a relationship, hell there’s a guy with no legs out there in the world that has a relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think it is possible. Some people are able to do it for personal reasons, religious reasons, etc. For me at some time there has to be something. If a person can not perform because of physical limitations then there has to be some other alternative way to fulfill that need within the relationship. I can wait like a camel waits to drink water for some months but after a couple months to 4 months I need to cave.

[btbc92]

That's how it should be. Dating shouldn't be sexual. Sex is left for marriage after your certain you want something further. When people have screws up sex lives and relationships I don't feel sorry for them after they mock godly relationships. Sex before marriage has been proven to cause more damage than good.

[The1Guy]

If it's not a pressing need and both partners agree, I think it's not the most important part of the relationship. But it's weird that both don't need it.

I mean I heard of asexuals, but be careful not to try and hide the fact that you need it, especially for men.

Alternatively, if you both decide to have sex only after marriage for any reason, I think this is very good and admirable. Then sex doesn't play the main role in a relationship, but is only an additional way to give pleasure to each other.

[MrOracle]

I have zero interest in a sexless romantic relationship. That's like going to a restaurant that doesn't serve food - it's pointless and unfulfilling.

To me, a romantic relationship MUST HAVE a small list of things to be workable and worthwhile:

- mutual attraction
- similar morals and values
- compatible life goals
- sexual compatibility
- a desire to grow together as a couple (to progress and improve the relationship).

If any one of those is missing, then the relationship is doomed to fail, and if I know going in that I'm missing one or more of those elements, then I'm not going to even bother to proceed, as it would be a waste of both our time and effort.

As you can see, sex is NOT, by far, the ONLY thing that's important to me in a relationship, but it IS *one* of the things a relationship MUST have.

[Msgaïj]

If both of them don't want to have sex, isn't it sexual compatibility?

[MrOracle]

@Msgaïj It absolutely is! And that's great - I'm all for that. Two asexuals being together is absolutely sexual compatibility.

But a person with a normal libido and an asexual is not going to work, and it's pointless to even try.

[Msgaïj]

I agree with you, then

[Scaredycat8844]

I wouldn't be in a sexless relationship myself but im sure theirs plenty of people who dont value sex or dont want or need it as much as someone like i want, need and value it and they would be happy to be in a sexless relationship. A very tense, very well rested, and very G rated type of relationship, lol.
That's just not my type of relationship personally.

[Evil_Laughter]

What kind of relationship? Like dating or marriage? Because dating without sex is like having a snack without a drink, but marriage without sex is like eating a full meal without a drink. In my opinion. Which doesn't hold much weight because I've never been in either kind of relationship. But based on what I know about it that's the impression I have.

To answer the question then I'd say dating without sex is just dating. Marriage without sex is probably missing something. Doable, but not really.. complete?

[MissKittyz]

Not my cup of tea. If a guy didn't want to have sex with me in our relationship, I'd feel like he is either not interested in me sexually or I'm just not attractive enough. I don't know.. I feel like that's a huge dealbreaker. I love sex, I find it fun, intimate, hot and enjoyable. So, if a guy isn't into that as well, then the relationship just won't work. At this point, would just be better to be friends instead of a couple.

[BunnyBun717]

Yes I think that relationships without sex can be normal and healthy. I know that most people want to have an active sex life, but I personally would also be okay with never having sex with my partner, as long as it's a loving relationship I don't mind

[YoursTruly93]

I personally can't do it. What's the point? Are we a couple or are we just roommates? It's fine, it works out for some people I'm sure, they grow a deep bond not formed only by sex.

I just can't do it, I'm a passionate, love starved person. I need to be able to connect with my partner sexually.
Once you've had that intense soul connecting amazing sex. There's no walking away. Till time takes it away from me 😂

[ObscuredBeyond]

If I can still do everything else but not actual sex, then sure. Save the final treat for marriage. That's how it's supposed to be anyway. That way, instead of sex overtaking everything right off the bat; I can learn everything else about her, and appreciate her on every other level and dimension first.

When far too many jump to sex right away, suddenly sex becomes the "only" thing cared about. And then, you miss out on a good chance for a solid soul connection.

[kinorhodes]

My girl and I have been together for 2 years, the 2nd year we rarely have had any sex.. yea we did break up once and are trying to work it out but sex was never important to us. She's my best friend for fuckz sake.. although it does affect both parties it's not the most important thing between 2 people

[Dinigirl17]

Sorry about that:( but thanks

[MissDawn7961]

a relationship with a boyfriend / girlfriend is supposed to be without sex ! however , a marriage without sex is a marriage that will go down and out in a hurry ! Thanks

[Dinigirl17]

What about have sex till marriage? Is it okay?

[omgrey]

What about no sex before marriage? I'm virgin and it will be challenging to find a guy who wants a girl like me lmao

[omgrey]

I mean I just want to find the right person and maybe I will change my mind

[Dinigirl17]

The same situation with me:( oh gosh! Maybe i will change it too

[omgrey]

Same because we came from our country, and if you are not ready just don't. If your partner wants to leave you just because you don't want to do it then let him go. He doesn't deserve you imho

[Dinigirl17]

Wkwk Njirrr knp ngga pake bahasa Indo aja😂 ku kira dari luar Indo😥

[omgrey]

Tuman😂 lu lagi bingung karena diajak ngesex sama pacar lu? Ato lu pengen?

[Dinigirl17]

Njirr bukan gitu jg cuk😂😂. Boleh berteman dan cerita dikit via DM ngga? sumpah pusing kadang ku mikir hm:((

[omgrey]

Ok, cek @himawarey

[Dinigirl17]

Itu IG ya?

[omgrey]

Iya lah cuk

[wynn-ing]

I think it's definitely possible.
It could be romantic or platonic, sensualor aesthetic.
It might be considered odd, but it's not impossible.

I've dated a couple of aces before and they were fine with the max being the romantic relationship. It was great.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great. It gives the couple a chance to get to know each other on other levels, it "weeds out" guys who only want to use you for free sex, etc. I also recommend reading any one of Josette Sona's free ebooks before starting any relationship. It gives valuable background information on what to look for when choosing a partner (whether we plan on having sex with them or not).