What do you think about having a relationship without sex?

[Dinigirl17]

In relationship without doing sex, is it okay? What do you think having relationship without doing sex?

[nightdrot]

Certainly I would not hold it against anyone who wanted that kind of a relationship. As for me though, and I grant that it may seem shallow, but I need that sense of physical connection.

That physical bond is, for me at least, something that adds a degree of depth and intimacy. That is not to say that you cannot have good and even meaningful relationships without sex. Indeed you can and I have.

However, when I have sex I feel a sense of connection and of being wanted. It is like the whole world shrinks down to just the two of you and that there is nothing else and nothing else matters.

This I say as a man who loves my girlfriend - and with whom I have had three children - with all my heart. I cannot imagine my life without her and yes, I really do need her. We also tend to a very raw and primal sex. Not BDSM, but we are like two animals breeding in a field - with licking and even some biting and scratching. Not always, to be sure, but generally.

Even then, though, that raw sex adds a depth to our relationship. We are accepting each other as we are, physically and emotionally naked. Giving our bodies to each other to be used, my girlfriend unconditionally accepting from me the most elemental thing I have to give of myself - my sperm, my seed. My girlfriend giving her body to me for my pleasure and to submit to me to bear my young.

For what it is worth, my girlfriend has told me something similar. She tells me that the idea of me leaving a bit of myself in her is intensely emotional. Not just the idea of getting pregnant by me, but that I have given something very basic and elemental of myself at the moment when I am the most physically dominant and yet exposed at the same time.

Yup, I know, in one sense pure mush. Yet there it is.

Again, it sounds very raw and primal but it is very emotional, deep and intimate and I find it hard to imagine a relationship of such depth without it. So while I completely understand why some would want to have a relationship without sex for all sorts of reasons, for me it would seem somewhat shallow and less than it could be and I need and want that depth and intimacy in both the emotional and physical sense. They are linked together.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I think I'd be okay with it. I'd certainly be willing to try it. Sex is alright but there are so many things I enjoy about being in a relationship with someone. If it was a solid relationship and I was happy, I think I'd be fine without sex

[roxbby]

A relationship without sex is simply a different type of love. I want to mention that there are different types of attraction, and sometimes you can't have some sort of attraction toward a certain person or gender. There are many types of attraction because the possibilities are endless, but types of attraction are typically categorized into:

1) Aesthetical attraction
You are attracted to their physical appearance.
2) Sexual or objective attraction
You are attracted and want to engage sexually.
3) Asexual love
You love them for the person they are.

Now, I want to first say this. You can fit into all of those categories, or you can fit into only one of them--and that is completely normal! It's more likely that you are either asexually attracted to someone or aesthetically attracted or even both if you don't want to have sex with the person you are attracted to. Asexual does not mean that you do not love anyone--it means that you love them but you don't want to have sex.

There are many types of attraction that you can encounter with different types of people and different genders. Having a relationship without engaging in sex is COMPLETELY OKAY.

While our purpose of life is to live on this world and make a difference, you want to make your mark while feeling yourself, expressing yourself freely, and being happy. If having a relationship without sex is what brings you true happiness in the love aspect of your life, you will find someone who understands your beliefs and love you the same way.

People who do not understand this type of attraction are simply closed-minded and do not understand that there are infinite ways to love someone. People who love those without doing sex are just like those who do want to do sex--they do love each other and have companionship.

Always be open to be yourself and if you believe that you want to have a relationship in a certain way, you should let your partner know to make sure that's it's the best for both of you all. True love means true understanding.

Lots of love,
Roxanna

[Ninjazzed]

If you fuck them and give them what they want, they leave.. if you don’t, they leave. They leave anyway. Can’t win.

[Dinigirl17]

Oh shit! You are right!

[David_Kek]

the very fact you think sex is just some barter chip, and not an expression of your sexual desire for someone, to me that just tells me that's your problem right there.
From a mans point of view, if that's how you view sex, then you're little more than a prostitute.

[Ninjazzed]

@David_Kek Your entire comment is boring conjecture. My point is that men don’t stick around anyway. Their goal at this age is to hump and disappear without a second thought. I never said sex is “some barter chip” so don’t go jumping to conclusions. Sex is pointless in your teen years because there’s very little to no intimacy involved. Their goal is to find the easiest way into her vagina, if she doesn’t start dropping hints immediately then he’s not sticking around. But even if you fuck them, they’re off to the next prospect. Get the picture? They’re either unsatisfied when you don’t open your legs the second you meet them or they pump and dump.

[Ninjazzed]

@David_Kek Teenagers want sex with no strings attached, and it’s socially acceptable for them to be whores. Unfortunately that’s the double standard.

[thenewgirlll]

You keep bringing up what men want. But what do you want? Stop thinking about men and think about YOU. I kinda agree with David on your view of sex, but I understand your feelings for wanting more than just sex which is normal yet I see you have a very unhealthy view on it and you only focus on what men want.

[David_Kek]

I was a teenager once too, and I can tell you for a fact that you do not understand men.

[Ninjazzed]

@David_Kek You obviously don’t understand women or you’re in serious denial.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll Again, you took it the same way David did. I’m not focusing on what THEY want, I’m focusing on the fact that they don’t want anything MORE.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll I got tired of being the rebound and wasting my time when all they wanted was a fuck buddy, but instead faked an entire relationship.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll Sex was meant to be driven by love and mutual respect for each other, not lust.

[Iron_Man200]

LOL, yet 70-80% of divorces are initiated by women.

[Unit1]

Here's what you can do - take it slow 😊

[thenewgirlll]

With that I agree, it’s disgusting, most of them don’t even say it before that they only want that. Just don’t give it unless you find someone who proves to you everyday they do care.

[Ninjazzed]

@Iron_Man200 Most likely due to the fact that men are unable to keep it in their pants and practice monogamy? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ninjazzed]

@Unit1 Honestly? I tried. One of my exes I was friends with for nearly 5 years before we dated, and the end result was no different than the last.

[Ninjazzed]

@thenewgirlll It’s sorta difficult to anticipate someone’s next intention, in fact it’s EXTREMELY difficult.. people are great at playing the part until the shit hits the fan and things get tough, then they don’t wanna commit and would rather avoid working things out.

[Unit1]

Yikes. Well, what can i say? Shit happens 🙁

[Ninjazzed]

@Unit1 I got tired of putting in all the effort and getting nothing in return.

[Unit1]

As do we all. Sometimes it's okay to take a break and then proceed with zero expectations later on in dating.

Perhaps try puting the right amount of effort instead of a lot of effort to not load yourself up so much. See who reciprocates. Then put in effort as much as you like (a lot)

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I would have absolutely no problem with it. In fact, I'd prefer it.

[coachTanthony]

That is called a Friendship. So I have quite a few.

[Juxtapose]

^^ this.

[Hypnos0929]

Ain't even a friendship if the dude is playing his traditional role.

[Juxtapose]

@Hypnos0929 HA! So true. It really puts the power dynamic into perspective. Women really take for granted how much control they have over heterosexual relationships.

[Unit1]

Bingo, coach!

[Apple1996]

That doesn't sound like a realtionship at all. For me a realtionship needs sex. If there's no sex then it's just a friendship

[ElissaDido]

If it's temporary, for example, until you get married, then yes.
If it's forever, then no.

There's many ways to connect with your SO, sure, but sex is an important part.

[Gsm24diecast]

For people that also don’t put thing’s like what I’m about to put into perspective to understand

Some guys are unable to have sex, some guys are born with low testosterone deficiency disorder or disabilities, sex is meaningless to these type of men (not all the time but most) , I’m one of those guys, I was also born sterile.

There are also women that don’t have sex or aren’t able to feel from disorders or disability.

Not all people need sex. Don’t take your sex life for granted,

because some people can’t have sex. (Not by choice)

Anyone can have a relationship, hell there’s a guy with no legs out there in the world that has a relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think it is possible. Some people are able to do it for personal reasons, religious reasons, etc. For me at some time there has to be something. If a person can not perform because of physical limitations then there has to be some other alternative way to fulfill that need within the relationship. I can wait like a camel waits to drink water for some months but after a couple months to 4 months I need to cave.

[btbc92]

That's how it should be. Dating shouldn't be sexual. Sex is left for marriage after your certain you want something further. When people have screws up sex lives and relationships I don't feel sorry for them after they mock godly relationships. Sex before marriage has been proven to cause more damage than good.

[The1Guy]

If it's not a pressing need and both partners agree, I think it's not the most important part of the relationship. But it's weird that both don't need it.

I mean I heard of asexuals, but be careful not to try and hide the fact that you need it, especially for men.

Alternatively, if you both decide to have sex only after marriage for any reason, I think this is very good and admirable. Then sex doesn't play the main role in a relationship, but is only an additional way to give pleasure to each other.

[MrOracle]

I have zero interest in a sexless romantic relationship. That's like going to a restaurant that doesn't serve food - it's pointless and unfulfilling.

To me, a romantic relationship MUST HAVE a small list of things to be workable and worthwhile:

- mutual attraction
- similar morals and values
- compatible life goals
- sexual compatibility
- a desire to grow together as a couple (to progress and improve the relationship).

If any one of those is missing, then the relationship is doomed to fail, and if I know going in that I'm missing one or more of those elements, then I'm not going to even bother to proceed, as it would be a waste of both our time and effort.

As you can see, sex is NOT, by far, the ONLY thing that's important to me in a relationship, but it IS *one* of the things a relationship MUST have.

[Msgaïj]

If both of them don't want to have sex, isn't it sexual compatibility?

[MrOracle]

@Msgaïj It absolutely is! And that's great - I'm all for that. Two asexuals being together is absolutely sexual compatibility.

But a person with a normal libido and an asexual is not going to work, and it's pointless to even try.

[Msgaïj]

I agree with you, then

[Scaredycat8844]

I wouldn't be in a sexless relationship myself but im sure theirs plenty of people who dont value sex or dont want or need it as much as someone like i want, need and value it and they would be happy to be in a sexless relationship. A very tense, very well rested, and very G rated type of relationship, lol.
That's just not my type of relationship personally.

[Evil_Laughter]

What kind of relationship? Like dating or marriage? Because dating without sex is like having a snack without a drink, but marriage without sex is like eating a full meal without a drink. In my opinion. Which doesn't hold much weight because I've never been in either kind of relationship. But based on what I know about it that's the impression I have.

To answer the question then I'd say dating without sex is just dating. Marriage without sex is probably missing something. Doable, but not really.. complete?

[MissKittyz]

Not my cup of tea. If a guy didn't want to have sex with me in our relationship, I'd feel like he is either not interested in me sexually or I'm just not attractive enough. I don't know.. I feel like that's a huge dealbreaker. I love sex, I find it fun, intimate, hot and enjoyable. So, if a guy isn't into that as well, then the relationship just won't work. At this point, would just be better to be friends instead of a couple.

[BunnyBun717]

Yes I think that relationships without sex can be normal and healthy. I know that most people want to have an active sex life, but I personally would also be okay with never having sex with my partner, as long as it's a loving relationship I don't mind

[YoursTruly93]

I personally can't do it. What's the point? Are we a couple or are we just roommates? It's fine, it works out for some people I'm sure, they grow a deep bond not formed only by sex.

I just can't do it, I'm a passionate, love starved person. I need to be able to connect with my partner sexually.
Once you've had that intense soul connecting amazing sex. There's no walking away. Till time takes it away from me 😂

[ObscuredBeyond]

If I can still do everything else but not actual sex, then sure. Save the final treat for marriage. That's how it's supposed to be anyway. That way, instead of sex overtaking everything right off the bat; I can learn everything else about her, and appreciate her on every other level and dimension first.

When far too many jump to sex right away, suddenly sex becomes the "only" thing cared about. And then, you miss out on a good chance for a solid soul connection.

[kinorhodes]

My girl and I have been together for 2 years, the 2nd year we rarely have had any sex.. yea we did break up once and are trying to work it out but sex was never important to us. She's my best friend for fuckz sake.. although it does affect both parties it's not the most important thing between 2 people

[Dinigirl17]

Sorry about that:( but thanks

[omgrey]

What about no sex before marriage? I'm virgin and it will be challenging to find a guy who wants a girl like me lmao

[omgrey]

I mean I just want to find the right person and maybe I will change my mind

[Dinigirl17]

The same situation with me:( oh gosh! Maybe i will change it too

[omgrey]

Same because we came from our country, and if you are not ready just don't. If your partner wants to leave you just because you don't want to do it then let him go. He doesn't deserve you imho

[Dinigirl17]

Wkwk Njirrr knp ngga pake bahasa Indo aja😂 ku kira dari luar Indo😥

[omgrey]

Tuman😂 lu lagi bingung karena diajak ngesex sama pacar lu? Ato lu pengen?

[Dinigirl17]

Njirr bukan gitu jg cuk😂😂. Boleh berteman dan cerita dikit via DM ngga? sumpah pusing kadang ku mikir hm:((

[omgrey]

Ok, cek @himawarey

[Dinigirl17]

Itu IG ya?

[omgrey]

Iya lah cuk

[MissDawn7961]

a relationship with a boyfriend / girlfriend is supposed to be without sex ! however , a marriage without sex is a marriage that will go down and out in a hurry ! Thanks

[Dinigirl17]

What about have sex till marriage? Is it okay?

[MusicMayhem]

It means it's not a relationship.

It's a situation where a girl has friendzoned a nice guy (whilst holding him under the pretense that it is more) because she's scared of getting played by a guy that has game. Eventually though she'll get bored of her 'friend' and her girl friends will convince her to hookup with a hot, suave guy at the club because they know she needs to get laid.

[wynn-ing]

I think it's definitely possible.
It could be romantic or platonic, sensualor aesthetic.
It might be considered odd, but it's not impossible.

I've dated a couple of aces before and they were fine with the max being the romantic relationship. It was great.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great. It gives the couple a chance to get to know each other on other levels, it "weeds out" guys who only want to use you for free sex, etc. I also recommend reading any one of Josette Sona's free ebooks before starting any relationship. It gives valuable background information on what to look for when choosing a partner (whether we plan on having sex with them or not).

[Zealashton]

might as well get a prostitute, cus your basically saying hey im a gold digger. . like ya mabey 3 months sure no sex, ook. but a year, really, wait scrach that, a life time fuck that.
but honeesttly,
fuck that relation ship,
i am a man with a mans hunger. if you ain't going to feed it, then i am not going to scratch your back

[Aethereal]

I think it's an interesting concept. I wouldn't mind dating an asexual person (though I'm not one myself). As long as there are other forms of intimacy/affection/skinship that are shared between us, I think I'd be fine in a relationship without sex.

[MorticiAddams]

It depends on the needs of both partners! Some relationships exist completely asexually, some consider sex a necessity to bonding, it's entirely up to the people in the relationship! As long as everyone needs are being met, it's a successful relationship, no matter what the parties involved chose to do or not do in bed!

[irielion82]

Need clarity. Never gonna have sex or not until both people are ready? Sex is normal and beautiful especially in committed relationships where you can explore deeply and intensely and intimately. Never gonna happen? Not for this guy. Not since I was too young to be having sex in the first place

[Mroz75]

If its in my society, you should ask it the other way around😅
But personally i am not with leaving the sex till after marriage... cause a lot of divorces is happening, because the guy would be hot, and the girl cold, or the other way around, so not really a good idea...

[CubsterShura]

Yes if you're not married yet. I don't wanna have seen outside of marriage no matter how much I love someone.

[your_guy_23]

Sure I don't mind if that's what a woman wants in a relationship

[Dinigirl17]

How wise you are BTW🖒

[your_guy_23]

Haha wise? I like to think I'm very wise I guess

[Dinigirl17]

Yeah you are😉😁

[your_guy_23]

Really why do you say that lol I only said my opinion

[Dinigirl17]

Because thats the fact lmao. A great opinion!

[your_guy_23]

Ohh haha thanks

[Dinigirl17]

Haha anytime:)

[stardust101]

I posted a question similar to this not too long ago. I would be fine with it. I need to take my time getting to know him

[radeonxz]

If it's a true love then it's okay to not having sex because if he love her honestly he shouldn't always think about sex because sex isn't everything in life

[Lord_Jeb]

All depends on the situation and the people involved. They may not be able to perform the act for some reason medical accident abuse. The list is endless if both parties love one another you need their heart and their presence most. The rest extra bennies

[justin8calm]

It's ridiculous sex is a big part of a relationship. We are in all just mammals ferment the fuck reproduce move on

[Ayer93]

The way I see it, the only way I'd be okay with a relationship without sex, is if my partner got injured seriously to the point where they could not have sex again. However, I'd still ask her for handjobs and blowjobs if she was still aroused by it. If not, I'd be jerking off the rest of my life. There's nothing bad about sex so I don't see the point in avoiding it. The physical intimacy in sex creates stronger bonds between people.

[SolifeNolife]

I think a sexless relationship would be a godsend. So much less that you have to worry about.

[Jrockit98]

A relationship without sex is doomed to fail. But a relationship focused on sex is also doomed to fail. There needs to be a healthy balance of both. Which ratio your relationship should have is something that is based on both parties sex drive

[Quidthonian]

Of course it is ok. I am assuming we are talking about romantic relationships here. Not everybody just wants to f---. You and or your partner may have their reasons to abstain. It is good to respect that.

[Rosegold020]

I personally don't think I'd enjoy it simply because you can love the person without sex, but if being intimate is something you look forward to after marriage and you end up not being compatible in bed your prettt much fucked.

[Rocx79]

It's one way people show affection for each other. Plus you need that release of endorphins or you will be cranky, tried, depressed etc...

[Dinigirl17]

Yes I know about it. The benefit of having sex

[Gedaria]

It's not a problem. I had a girlfriend who said no sex, I'm not into that. After a month or so , she was starting to get annoyed with me. I asked her what's wrong, she said when are you going to have sex with me. What happened to no sex, that was to put you off , see if it was you wanted it just sex. We soon changed that situation...

[HobisSunshineXD]

People keep saying its friendship but I won't be doing premarital sex due to my religion. There's plenty of other things to do besides sex in a relationship. Such as creating a bond of trust and loyalty

[vegasrob702]

It sucks. I'm in a sexless relationship now.. it has been 6 months no sex. It should be noted that this is not my first time being with this woman. This is our second time in a relationship

[Dinigirl17]

Is it okay with you?

[Pete671]

If it's with the right person it's awesome, bonding with the sex/gender you are attracted to on a purely spiritual level is just so good, and if you get horny about them you can just knock one out in their honour,

[Bee-Hatch]

Why would you want to do that? Genuinely at a loss to understand why.

[LittleSquid]

I personally would like that kind of relationship more than one with a lot of bodycontact. Though I might be the only one thinking like that, but I just don't understand why sex has to be that important.

[dafor2978]

Probably the healthy route for a lasting relationship but I feel like without this deep intament connection, the relationship could be at its lowest point and your partner could think your having sex with someone else because the two of you who are dating haven't had sex.

[chantrllr]

That it wouldn’t last. Depending on both people in the relationship of course. But seriously. I do think sex plays a large role in a healthy relationship. If I’m not sexually attracted to my partner there’s a problem.

[Allura]

It’s not a relationship. That’s that. It’s a friend your misleading and ruining his ability to trust girls my love has had issues with girls like this it makes furious!

[joannav]

I cannot imagine how you can love someone or be in love with them and not want to make love with them... Unless you are both asexual which is extremely rare

[snowboarder720]

That sounds awful IMHO. If it makes them both happy then I will not judge.

[Kaelani]

Personally I wouldn’t be able to have a relationship without sex; If I had a girlfriend, I would be far less likely to use porn for sexual release, so having no sex would just result in me turning literally everything I hear into a sexual joke (and I am not exaggerating... When I get blue balled, for some reason I become a dirty joke factory on a mega industrial scale)

[brandy666187]

What’s the point? Everything boils down to sex if you ain’t getting what he needs from you things getting it somewhere else sex is extremely important and you have to be sexually compatible specially if you’re married or in it for the long-haul because it gets routine and boring

[GoodBuddy]

NO sex fine, no touch I would die and have lost a relationship cause I'm a cuddler and she hated being touched but lied and said she loved it.

[Dinigirl17]

Its okay me too I won't be able live without touch:)

[Liam_Hayden]

It is fine, but don't expect a lot of agreement here. Most people are so accustomed to sex on demand that someone who isn't easy does not compute with them.

[tediii]

I was in a relationship where we rarely had sex and let me tell you it was terrible. Sex plays huge part of my love life and i would not go into a relationahip like this unless im allowed to meet other people.

[locoloco68]

God bless you that's probably why teen suicides are so up

[locoloco68]

No seriously if you can do that God bless you you're a rarity in this world in this world needs people like you because if you could do that you got a mind and a heart

[ShadowofRegret]

Not what I would prefer, but I could be in a relationship like that.

[cth96190]

A relationship without sex is pointless, because the purpose of XX and XY getting together is to make babies and raise them together.
Take away sex and men and women would throw rocks at each other.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I did it for half a year when my girlfriend was a virgin until she told me she wanted to have sex and we did.

[jwr199]

Well that completely depends on how religious you and your partner are and it depends on your sex drive. But for me personally I can't I really enjoy having sex and I believe there is a deeper connection when having sex.

[Schloss]

I'm what is considered asexual with no desire for it. There's very few of us in the world, but it would be such a relief to find someone who doesn't want sex.

[demurefaithe]

I feel like it can work if you both try. Intimacy can be without sex and if you both aren't ready then why rush?