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#FeelFreeToList #WantMe #NeedMe
It's difficult to say whether it's preferable to be needed or wanted because each has specific benefits and drawbacks.
To be needed implies that someone depends on you and needs your help in order to operate. While it might make you feel important, it can also make you feel stressed and confined. Constantly feeling responsible for someone else's welfare can be mentally taxing. Furthermore, if you only define yourself in terms of what other people need, you might forget about your own requirements and develop resentment.
To be wanted, on the other hand, implies that someone wants to be in your presence. Although it may be fleeting and not entirely founded on your true self, this can be encouraging and give you a feeling of validation. Being desired can also make you feel insecure because it's not always clear whether someone desires you for who you are or what you can do for them.
To be needed or to be wanted ultimately comes down to individual preference and environmental factors. Maintaining an equilibrium between the two while putting your own needs first is crucial. In some circumstances, such as when caring for a loved one, you might find it fulfilling to be needed, but it's important to establish boundaries and look after yourself. However, it's essential to surround yourself with people who value you for who you are rather than what you can do for them. On the other hand, being wanted can be fun.
In conclusion, it's critical to put your own wellbeing first and strike a balance between the two. Being needed and wanted are both significant. Be mindful of the potential pitfalls of being both required and desired, and concentrate on developing relationships that are founded on respect and appreciation for one another.
Needing someone implies that you depend on them to carry out a specific task or function in your life, whereas wanting someone implies that you enjoy their company and presence. Needing someone is typically driven by pragmatic factors, whereas wanting someone is frequently motivated by feelings of attraction. Though it can be uplifting and fulfilling, wanting someone can also be fleeting and not always founded on your true self. The sensation of dependence and being trapped or burdened can result from needing someone. In the end, the distinction between wanting and needing someone will vary depending on the situation and type of connection.
Love can be a need as well as a desire. It is a basic human feeling that can satiate our desire for intimacy, companionship, and connection. But the need for affection can also be motivated by our own preferences, aspirations, and expectations.
For some people, who feel incomplete without it, love can be a necessity, whereas for others, it may be more of a wish or a luxury. In the end, how much of a part love plays in our lives is influenced by our unique circumstances, personalities, and life experiences. Love is a strong feeling that can enrich our lives and bring us happiness and fulfillment, whether it is a need or a want.
Wanted.
I've been needed before. It's worse.
Need means the other person has a sort of dependence on you. And that's just annoying, especially if they're supposed to be an adult in charge of their life.
Want means that they don't need you, but would choose to be with you despite that.
Want, and the power that implies, is much better.
Ooooh yassss i like this answer
Same!
I donβt want someone to think of me as a basic necessity like requirement because it lacks the idea of free will and Iβm not tryna feel like their poor self esteem is holding them at gun point as if Iβm the only key to their salvation. No thanks. I donβt find that healthy or attractive.
Dang thats a good way to put it
Wanting someone is based on desire that will soon fade away leaving you out in the cold.
Needing someone is like an addiction that the person will
sacrifice almost anything for, but it may become too overwhelming for you (they'll keep calling you).
They both have their pros and cons - "pick your poison"
Yea weβre all starting to realize that π
Being needed in a relationship is like being the heroin for an addict. I would rather be with someone who I know wants to be with me instead of being with someone who has an irrational fear that they cannot live without me.
I chose wanted to but i kinda would like someone to be addicted to me π
dizzy, that woulnt be healthy tho.
@SarahsSummer i know im weird but some stalkers turn me on
lol goood luck with that.
@SarahsSummer i chose want tho. He said need is the addict lol
Sarahβs right. If you actually have the experience of being in such a dependent relationship, you will feel like you are suffocating in someone elseβs sea of insanity. And when it finally ends, you will feel an overwhelming sense of relief.
The fantasy is much different from the reality!
I've been in it before, thats how i know i like it π but i rather be wanted which is sad because i kinda stop wanting them faster than i would someone who needed me
What the hell's wrong with being attached to someone if you love them? Isn't that the whole point?
@Jamie05rhs i agree. I like clingy dudes π€·ββοΈ But theyre saying too much is toxic which can be true too
There is a difference between being emotionally bonded and thinking that you canβt live without your partner.
@OlderAndWiser But I always hear the stories about these 80-year-old couples where one dies and then the other dies right after because of heartbreak and I think it's really sweet.
@Jamie05rhs Yes, but how sweet would it sound if it was a 29 year old wife died and the 30 year old husband died due to heartbreak two hours later?
@Jamie05rhs oh nah im tryna live π so nvm
@OlderAndWiser It would be just as sweet. Why should couples have to wait half a century to develop a bond with one another? Does it really take that long to figure it out? Does it really take 50 years to finally fall in love with your partner? If so, I think that's kind of sad.
@Jamie05rhs i agree with that part. I only need like 2 years before i wanna marry someone. Sometimes not even that long. But people these days date for 8 years and i could never
And by the way, for all the women out there, wouldn't you want me to be upset if we were together and something happened to you? Would you rather I be unphased and just go right back to dating the very next day? Wouldn't you want to actually mean something to the person you're with?
@DizzyDesii agreed.
@Jamie05rhs i have a jacked up mindset. Iβd be sad something happened to him but iβd prob still be flirting with someone again before the month ended. I don't know how to explain it but it doesn't mean he wasn't important. Im just used to be a serial monagamist and am still working on that
@DizzyDesii That's okay. I understand. But I also don't think you've ever had a true deep relationship, so that may be part of it. (And neither have I.)
@Jamie05rhs I've had a true deep relationship. 2 that lasted almost 2 years. I wouldn't have had sex with them if i didn't consider it deep and in love...
@Jamie05rhs You have misunderstood what I said.
@OlderAndWiser Okay; would you like to clarify?
@Jamie05rhs The "need" to which I refer is a need that develops very quickly, without the person really knowing their partner. I am talking about the people who become obsessed with their partner after 4-6 weeks, the pathological attachment that sometimes turns into stalking.
@OlderAndWiser Oh, okay.
Yea which is what i find oddly hot
Therapy! Lots of it! :) :) :)
I dont wanna date it again. I just find it hot
Thanks for MHO!
Opinion
82Opinion
I just figure it's better to be wanted because at some point most if not every person resents what they need. You'll resent oxygen when you don't have enough.
Lmao
Wanted and loved. When I read "needed", I feel used. I don't want someone around me because of what I can do for them.
My personal (and perhaps unpopular) thoughts on this in terms of relationships:
To "want" something is a fleeting desire. It is a temporary feeling that is forgotten once fulfilled (until it comes back later). I can say: "I want some money for food", "I want new clothes", or "I want sex". Once I get these things, I don't care about them anymore, until the desire returns later. There is also the implication that since these things are so temporary, they can be obtained from different places, rather than from one source. In terms of a relationship then; the mentality is that partners are replaceable; there for a temporary role. It makes settling very attractive, and encourages us to not take finding love seriously.
To need something however implies that this thing is such an integral part of your life that you cannot imagine living without it. That you would sacrifice the things you "want" for it (and this is important). You are completely invested in this thing that you need, because it is so much more important than a mere "want". Why would anyone want to be on the side that gets sacrificed for a need.
I only want to be needed. I'm not looking for a replaceable person, someone to fulfill some basic function that any other random person might just as well fulfill. Neither do I want to be seen in such a way. I do not wish to be easily discarded under certain conditions, and do not wish to be with someone that I feel I can easily discard.
I want to need, and be needed by my partner; an eternal bond that none can break. I've always found romance in the idea of loving someone enough to destroy the world for them, knowing that they would do the same thing for you as well.
This is what i was just saying to @bklynbadboy1 i can see both want and need being temporary until fulfilled
Both are temporary use/desire. Read other opinions and youβll see both perspectives
I read the other opinions, and it seems to me that our definition of "need" is different. Or perhaps just a different perspective:
You commented elsewhere that when you are sick, you "need" medicine, and stop needing it once you get better.
That is not the context I'm using. The comment you made about "needing" medicine describes "want". You can choose to not take the medicine and die i. e. "I want to live and will take the medicine" vs. "I want to die and so won't take the medicine". Therein lies the difference between "want" and "need". With "need", there is no choice, nor alternate option. There is only the thing you need, and everything else is expendable in the face of it. With "want", there is always an option, a choice, a "but"e. g. "I want this guy/girl to be my partner, but I can also always get someone else". They are not the only one, they are one of many options, and remain that way no matter how far you go in the relationship.
If you need someone, your love is so strong that nothing, and no one else matters. The possibility of being with anyone else is unthinkable. It's terrifying because that person you need can/will use you if they do not feel the same need for you, knowing that you'll do anything for them, that they are the only thing that matters to you. But it's also so beautiful when both partners have that need for each other, in which there is just both of them, and nothing else matters.
Thanks for making me think deeper about this. I was able to figure out that the difference is choice. Now I realize why so many people would choose "want". Few would sacrifice their power to choose someone else (or have a backup/an "out"), no matter how strong their love. It is seen as folly to give yourself completely to someone else. It's so easy to settle when you can remind yourself that you can easily choose to walk away at any moment.
No if you need meds you only need it til you're better. you're using the meds to get better then you're done with em
The point is that you have an alternate choice. That's what makes it a "want". You don't have to take the medicine. You can decide to tough it out, or try some other remedy. When it comes to needs; the only other choice is death e. g. if you don't get air, you'll die. If you don't want to die, you'll do everything in your power to ensure you get air. With a want, like sex for example; you won't die if you don't get it, you'll never try to get it with the same level of commitment or desperation as you would if not getting it meant death.
When I say I'd like to need someone, and be needed; I'm talking about feeling that the only alternative to not being with that person is death. It is not temporary. Life is pretty much not worth living without them, and being alive is only worth it because they are there. This goes beyond even a drug addiction.
Here's another example to highlight the difference. A smoker probably feels like he/she needs a cigarette every few hours. However, if they decide to quit, they'll slowly wean themselves of their perceived need. This is why a smoking habit is a want. The smoker can quit. For smoking to be a need; the situation would demand that if the smoker doesn't have a cigarette every few hours, he/she will die.
Arguably then; it is not possible to actually "need" someone. At best, you get to the point where being away from that person makes life feel meaningless, and when they return, all colour returns to the world with them.
Need vs. want is mostly semantics. A need is essential and very important to live a healthy and satisfied life. Maslowβs basic life needs are summarized as self-actualization, esteem, belongingness-and-love needs, safety needs, physiological needs (food, water, air, sexβ¦) from least important to most. So according to Maslow, love is a need. The physiological need of sex relates to the species reproducing and not necessarily to an individual. Want is a desire or a wish for something. A want is a βmight likeβ to have rather than a requirement for healthy living. I personally think that it is very difficult to commit to someone that believes I am only a want, a βlike to have.β If a financially independent minded woman allows herself to fall for someone, then need develops out of trust. A mutual dependency develops for those in solid ltrs whether you like the sound of that or not. If she simply wants him, then he is just an expendable accessory, really. Want is fine if it the relationship is temporary. That way each can just fly off when they want. I have no problem with that as long as it is mutually understood. Similarly, a prostitute wants a man with a pocket full of cash and that arrangement is understood upfront.
Very good question. I would definitely want to be wanted above needed. Being needed just means the person values what you can give or do for them, but probably doesn't really care about you as a person or who you are. Being wanted means the other person likes all of you and wants all of you in their life.
Thats a good way to put it but i also stop wanting people real quick. So both kinda make you feel temporary
Wanted is always better than needed, being needed in a relationship is unhealthy and leads to codependency where the person who is needed loses their identity by fulfilling their partners needs, sometimes at the expense of their own. --think,... teach a person to fish feed them for life, give a person a fish, and they NEED you to start fishing everyday for them for the course of your relationship. If you teach them and it's an equitable relationship, they'll still WANT you as their fishing buddy.
You gotta point
It's nice to be needed - to open the lids of jars, to reach high places, to fix things, to be the one she depends on for comfort, support and protection. But if I had to choose between need and want, I'd chose to be wanted - wanted for my own sake for who I am. I prefer for her to say, "I want you to go on vacation with me" not "I need you to go on vacation with me." "I want you to make love to me" not "I need you to fuck me." "I want to be with you forever" not "I need you to be with me forever."
But it seems it turns guys on more if u say βi need you inside me right now.β Rather than want
I think wanted is easily obtained. Needed can mean the same thing unless its needed in a couple relationship where the other person makes you better. You need that person and that person needs you. Again wanting can follow into a couple wanting each other because he saw how she was stepping on her tippy toes grabbing a seasoning of the top shelf and he thinks she js sexy. Needing and wanting. Thats a good one. But i think wanted, we could go to a bar and find 10 guys who want us. But if the giy that needs me wants me... yum. Good stuff
You have a point there
That does reveal my cajun influence lol
I'd rather be wanted and needed, to know that I have value to them, to know that I'm important to them. It's honestly something I need more of myself. For people, and girls specifically to help me feel my value. While seeking other people's approval is dangerous, it helps to confirm who I am as a person. While God in Christian faith should be my true center of that. It's important to me, being Adam, to have eve, to have eve speaking encouragement to me and needing me. I'd argue we all need that to an extent. For someone to make us feel like the gender we are. For the girl, it's being picked off her feet and pulled in for a kiss, for the guy it's a girl pulling a guys face and planting a kiss on it. We need that, we need to feel wanted and desired. To some extent anyway
So u chose want or need?
I'd rather be wanted as I feel happy that someone wants to be around me, finds me attractive and stuff... but being needed feels like an unbalanced partnership and I'm all about the equality when you are with someone...
Nice way to put it
I think everyone needs to feel wanted. I agree with what you said about being needed, aside from children no one really needs another due to being independent and if another needs the other it just becomes a bit too suffocating. Both work in similar ways, if a person wants/needs something and get it wherever they may be looking then they'll seek it elsewhere. I choose wanted. I choose being wanted, I want a person to want me, I want it to really mean something, but it easily fades if they are seen wanting others because it just means her want really held no meaning to it.
I dont think it means the want had no meaning. Its just want is temporary at the end of the day. And need is actually not as popular as youβd think. People dont even need the same sex to have kids anymore. there's adoption and in vitro
No I meant children needing their parents
Like tremorjay said tho, thats more codependent. Like its kinda a requirement to an extent
What question is this?
The kissing during sex question
I do more so when making love then just sex, I want to explore her body so it's not just her lips, it will be her neck shoulder, tits, pussy (then take time on there for a bit before going back to it.
I mean i like that too. But i like kissing more. Even when hittin the shit from the back
https://m.imgur.com/a/XVY5glm
I like that.
I separate my wants from my needs on a daily basis. It allows me to stat humble and lead a much simpler lifestyle. If someone wants me I feel it may come from selfish stand point but if someone needs me its because I add to their life, even if it is in the smallest way it may mean the world to them.
Wow beautiful description
It depends on what you mean.
It's great to feel "needed" and it's great to feel "wanted" but both of them are also terrifying and unhealthy when taken too far.
What makes me feel NEEDED is when I'm able to help her with physical labour or when she confides in me because she's afraid or worried about something, and being able to feel like someone she can rely on is one of the best feelings in the world. But I also want to know that she can be fine on her own if circumstances don't allow for me to be there.
I'd rather be wanted than needed. Needed for someone to be happy or to fulfill their desires is not a good thing. If I'm wanted then the other person is generally already happy with their self and I don't have to be the man to do that. Sure I can bring on more happiness but I don't want to be the reason someone is happy. If I were to leave or something would happen to me they would be crushed way more.
Very true
"Need" makes it almost sound like a bribe or extortion. Sure, some men wish they could go back to the 50's where women in the US were more or less dependent on men to provide for them due to economic barriers, but I would much rather have somebody who's happy to be with me. Second to that, I'd rather stay single. Besides, I can't imagine the sex ever being any good if she's only doing it because she feels obligated to for my resources, as opposed to a genuine desire for my physical form and identity.
To those saying want is temporary... Do you never want money, higher purpose, change in yourself/life?
Want is always there is the Reason behind that changes...
there's only a few things in life someone NEEDS, essentials to maintain life in the most basic sense.
Just be with them not because of want or "need".
Both are temporary π€·ββοΈ
That quote from Emma Thompson makes sense for a parent/child relationship. It's different for an intimate relationship, because the idea is that you're stuck together for better or worse. I'd rather have a partner that wanted me around. That's the difference between dating boys and men. Men don't need you. Boys are trying to replace their mothers.
The quote was mostly random. I dont even know if i read it. I just saw something about want and need. And same goes for women. Women dont need em. In general everyones pretty independent and dont really need eachother. But yea i chose want to
Gold diggers with high class men are just as codependent tho
Lol at the end of the day its a really hard choice. Both just seem so temporary ig
@DonCachondo I can't say I agree, and it's super weird to think you're having sex with your mom, but I dig your enthusiasm
No no not your actual mom dude lol, just a new maternal figure in your life :D Like it's so baked into her personality that she can't help but treat you like one of her own in little ways here and there!
Ah.. To each their own then!
But MAN... I get so warm and fuzzy when a woman suddenly grooms my hair, face, etc. because she spots the tiniest flake or piece of dirt hmmm ^.^
Wanted is far more valuable than
Needed. someone who 'needs' you is vulnerable and using you to heal old wounds, also its More than likely they have ulterior motives along with one sided commitment.
Needed is a survival thing. Being wanted means you're desired.
Very true
I would much rather be Wanted over Needed.
Being wanted would make me feel handsome and desired.
Needed makes me feel like a requirement, as if I have something... Like I'm USED for what I have.
Yassss
being needed is way more thqn being wanted.. we want different things all the time but we always need the same thing.. so being needing is good for me because it's almost everlasting
Ahhh true