When being with a woman do you feel like you can never be yourself?

Question

The reason I ask is because there are tons of videos on youtube telling men how to keep their woman happy and interested. Or what do say when approaching a woman and how easily women are turned off. One day they like you, the next day they're not too sure. Lots of men have had this experience. They go on a date with a woman and in the beginning the woman seems very interested, but as time goes by she seems to lose interest. Or they start dating and then out of nowhere the woman texts the man that she's no longer interested. As a man it just feels like you can never really be yourself because it's like walking on egg shells, always having to make sure you don't say the "wrong thing" or don't act the "wrong way." After all, almost 80% of divorces are initiated by women. I don't know how men put up with the stress of always trying to keep a woman interested.

Answer 1

little_bird1 | 431 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Losing interest never happens out of nowhere, there is always a reason. It might be some red flag, something that she learned about you that she doesn't particularly like but has no right to try to change (or is unchangeable). When these things happen sometimes it's for the best to just end it on good note, explanation is not necessary. That's a whole point of dating, getting to know each other. People often make mistake by trying to change or manipulate someone, but that's wrong because we should like the person and their life the way it is, not their potential or what we hope they will be in the future. If it's no match then fuck it, no ones fault. You should really always just be yourself. If you know you are a good person and know how to respect, commit and prioritize your relationship like an adult, then you don't have to worry about anything. The problem is when a guy doesn't know all this and I have to tell him what to do and what not to do, like raising a kid. No woman wants this. I gave benefit of a doubt to most guys I dated, also gave a few "warning" sings when something was bothering me, and most of them took my "forgiveness" for granted and made me lose interest. They are probably still wondering what went wrong. If a woman tells you that something about your behavior or the way you treat her is bothering her, and you say you will change or that it won't happen again, you better mean it and make sure that it REALLY never happens again.

Stephen_77

1 y
My point is that women will lose interest over the most ridiculous little thing.
little_bird1

1 y
It's maybe ridiculous to you but it's not to us. You have no right to judge our likes and dislikes. There is nothing you can do about it but be yourself and wait for the one who will like everything about you (or like your good points enough to tolerate some of your bad points).
Stephen_77

1 y
I know perfectly well that it's not ridiculous to you women. That's why I've been saying for years that women are bat shit crazy and are like adult children.
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beldath

1 y
The problem you're not addressing little_bird is that the out of nowhere bit suggests the girl/s never said anything.
Our problem as men is we generally need something direct. If it's passive aggressive, we usually don't get it until long past the end of the relationship.
little_bird1

1 y
@beldath I agree but some things are plain stupid to point out because it's common knowledge and manners to reciprocate and behave certain way. I don't want to have to tell a guy about every single thing he should do (that 99% of couples do). I expect a man to already know some stuff about relationships, commitment and prioritizing before deciding to date me. These things come from experience and if not from experience then from either feelings or from friends/family that does these things. I don't want to tell him that goodnight text needs a reply or stupid stuff like that (just an example). I agree that if it's something specific, it should be communicated, but general stuff that are expected in a relationship do not need to be pointed out. If a man doesn't do it then I assume he's either not interested or is very immature.
Wolkmi

1 y
One can judge the likes and dislikes, you probably do the same with likes or dislikes of men, especially if it is stupid. Nor do you say what bothers you or what adult behavior is, many people without adult behavior are in relationships, many famous people are quite eccentric
little_bird1

1 y
@Wolkmi I'm not his mother to teach him how to be an adult. Some things are just obvious and if he doesn't get it then he's just stupid. He won't get it even if I tell him.
Wolkmi

1 y
But what things? put an example
beldath

1 y
@little since every woman wants to be treated differently, every case is different. Your example of a goodnight text... not everyone wants to do that, or expects it. I personally would do it sometimes, but not all of the time. Sometimes I'm tired and pass out. No time for the foolishness of a portable leash.
little_bird1

1 y
@beldath Nope, you are wrong, most women want the same thing. And you should do something just because she wants it, do what you want to do. Treat her like you want to treat her and the way you think women should be treated. If that's not what they want then live accept that you are not meant for relationships and live alone.
Stephen_77

1 y
Or maybe women could just grow up and stop being so petty and emotional.
little_bird1

1 y
It's not a grow up thing it's what we are. Take it or leave it.
Stephen_77

1 y
Yes, you are messed up. A waste to the planet.
little_bird1

1 y
Cool then go live with men only and leave us alone. Have fun with that.
Stephen_77

1 y
I can't. Women are getting in my way.
filipswagson

1 y
Stephen you are crazy, and most likely gay

Answer 2

Stephen_77

My point is that women will lose interest over the most ridiculous little thing.

Answer 3

little_bird1

It's maybe ridiculous to you but it's not to us. You have no right to judge our likes and dislikes. There is nothing you can do about it but be yourself and wait for the one who will like everything about you (or like your good points enough to tolerate some of your bad points).

Answer 4

Stephen_77

I know perfectly well that it's not ridiculous to you women. That's why I've been saying for years that women are bat shit crazy and are like adult children.

Answer 5

beldath

The problem you're not addressing little_bird is that the out of nowhere bit suggests the girl/s never said anything.
Our problem as men is we generally need something direct. If it's passive aggressive, we usually don't get it until long past the end of the relationship.

Answer 6

little_bird1

@beldath I agree but some things are plain stupid to point out because it's common knowledge and manners to reciprocate and behave certain way. I don't want to have to tell a guy about every single thing he should do (that 99% of couples do). I expect a man to already know some stuff about relationships, commitment and prioritizing before deciding to date me. These things come from experience and if not from experience then from either feelings or from friends/family that does these things. I don't want to tell him that goodnight text needs a reply or stupid stuff like that (just an example). I agree that if it's something specific, it should be communicated, but general stuff that are expected in a relationship do not need to be pointed out. If a man doesn't do it then I assume he's either not interested or is very immature.

Answer 7

Wolkmi

One can judge the likes and dislikes, you probably do the same with likes or dislikes of men, especially if it is stupid. Nor do you say what bothers you or what adult behavior is, many people without adult behavior are in relationships, many famous people are quite eccentric

Answer 8

little_bird1

@Wolkmi I'm not his mother to teach him how to be an adult. Some things are just obvious and if he doesn't get it then he's just stupid. He won't get it even if I tell him.

Answer 9

Wolkmi

But what things? put an example

Answer 10

beldath

@little since every woman wants to be treated differently, every case is different. Your example of a goodnight text... not everyone wants to do that, or expects it. I personally would do it sometimes, but not all of the time. Sometimes I'm tired and pass out. No time for the foolishness of a portable leash.

Answer 11

little_bird1

@beldath Nope, you are wrong, most women want the same thing. And you should do something just because she wants it, do what you want to do. Treat her like you want to treat her and the way you think women should be treated. If that's not what they want then live accept that you are not meant for relationships and live alone.

Answer 12

Stephen_77

Or maybe women could just grow up and stop being so petty and emotional.

Answer 13

little_bird1

It's not a grow up thing it's what we are. Take it or leave it.

Answer 14

Stephen_77

Yes, you are messed up. A waste to the planet.

Answer 15

little_bird1

Cool then go live with men only and leave us alone. Have fun with that.

Answer 16

Stephen_77

I can't. Women are getting in my way.

Answer 17

filipswagson

Stephen you are crazy, and most likely gay

Answer 18

Nmalinova | 51 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Referring back to your divorce rate being mostly initiated by women... is it not the case that men are trying to be the protective guy that should pay for everything and should bring flowers and take us to our doorsteps etc etc etc? Is it not by the gradual lack of interest that you stop these little acts that are 'supposed to catch you any woman you want' and in return we realise that we were being running after the carrot on the stick? ;-) just throwing the question right back at you! Of course on both sides people try to impress... the relationships that last are those that started in a very sincere and 'real' manner right from the start :-)

Stephen_77

1 y
Oh right, so basically in order for a man to keep a woman it's a never ending challenge, always having to keep up with her expectations?
Nmalinova

1 y
Of course not, that was not my point! My point is the guy should not even have to change himself just to please someone because as soon as a person changes themselves, they are not being true to themselves or the other person, so naturally it will come right back at them! Women and men should just from the beginning be themselves... and if it doesn't fit well then it just doesn't, thats all ;-)
Stephen_77

1 y
The problem is that most women are always changing their minds and emotions. Men and women are just too different.
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Nmalinova

1 y
This is true, we are very different! Men also change their minds/emotions though... It can all be blamed on one or the other! It is rare for people to find the perfect balance between each other without some compromises...
Stephen_77

1 y
Yer but women's emotions are usually all over the place. With a man he knows when he loves a woman or is attracted to her. With women it's a bit more complicated. Women tend to be attracted to a man based on how he makes her feel. That's why a woman can be attracted to a man and then very quickly lose attraction for him, based o her feelings. That's why a common excuse women give for leaving a relationship is, "I just fell out of love with him." I've even had women admit to me that women often don't know themselves what they want.
Nmalinova

1 y
Some women can be emotionally all over the place, but there are also a lot that stay with their partners until their last breath and that love their partners 😊 it's really a mixed bag that cannot be generalised like that... in my opinion at least

Answer 19

Stephen_77

Oh right, so basically in order for a man to keep a woman it's a never ending challenge, always having to keep up with her expectations?

Answer 20

Nmalinova

Of course not, that was not my point! My point is the guy should not even have to change himself just to please someone because as soon as a person changes themselves, they are not being true to themselves or the other person, so naturally it will come right back at them! Women and men should just from the beginning be themselves... and if it doesn't fit well then it just doesn't, thats all ;-)

Answer 21

Stephen_77

The problem is that most women are always changing their minds and emotions. Men and women are just too different.

Answer 22

Nmalinova

This is true, we are very different! Men also change their minds/emotions though... It can all be blamed on one or the other! It is rare for people to find the perfect balance between each other without some compromises...

Answer 23

Stephen_77

Yer but women's emotions are usually all over the place. With a man he knows when he loves a woman or is attracted to her. With women it's a bit more complicated. Women tend to be attracted to a man based on how he makes her feel. That's why a woman can be attracted to a man and then very quickly lose attraction for him, based o her feelings. That's why a common excuse women give for leaving a relationship is, "I just fell out of love with him." I've even had women admit to me that women often don't know themselves what they want.

Answer 24

Nmalinova

Some women can be emotionally all over the place, but there are also a lot that stay with their partners until their last breath and that love their partners 😊 it's really a mixed bag that cannot be generalised like that... in my opinion at least

Answer 25

David92506 | 173 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

I know men who have "game" when dating women. The woman always seems interested because he is portraying himself to be interesting. She doesn't lose interest. He knows how to do it.

The trouble with that situation is that the guy has to always have "game" when being with that woman because she is interested in the "game", not the real person. If he doesn't put on his "game" then she will lose interest. That must be a lot of hard work for the guy to always have "game."

It seems to me that women have a lot more options when dating. So if the guy says the littles thing wrong she can easily find someone else.

A very long time ago I belonged to a Philippine dating site. I had so many young and beautiful women who wanted to know my acquaintance. I've never been so picky in my life because I had so many options.

Answer 26

TonyTheGuid0

Xper 5

I know exactly what you mean. It always feels like I have to walk on eggshells around females because they get butthurt and offended by every little thing you say. They take everything has sexual harassment, creepy behaviour, or some kind of disrespect. They find a reason to bash men for every little thing that comes out of their mouth (mostly the feminists.) The best thing you can do, is just stay from them all together. Let them all end up alone with no man in their life, cause no REAL man wants them anyway. Just use tinder to fulfill any sexual desires.

Stephen_77

1 y
Bravo!!!
David92506

1 y
By the way, sex dolls are becoming more realistic and we can use them to fulfill any sexual desires. Men don't have to fear contracting an STD, getting anyone pregnant, unexpectantly emotionally hurting anyone, getting a stalker, etc.

Answer 27

Stephen_77

Bravo!!!

Answer 28

David92506

By the way, sex dolls are becoming more realistic and we can use them to fulfill any sexual desires. Men don't have to fear contracting an STD, getting anyone pregnant, unexpectantly emotionally hurting anyone, getting a stalker, etc.

Answer 29

jennifer_bloom | 2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Influencer

I don’t believe a woman can be perpetually sexually or romantically attracted to somebody but if she is loving and compassionate and honest she will stay faithful for loves sake after the guy loses his sex appeal to her. Like my best friend of 16 years who ghosted me at 26 - I didn’t love her for any reason other than our paths had crossed for so long we now had so many shared events and values in common.

Answer 30

beldath | 102 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

Our main problem Stephen, is that they don't think like us. When there's a problem in the relationship, or something they don't like, a lot of women are passive aggressive about it and just hint at the problem. Their seeming to leave out of nowhere tends to happen after we've missed the hints.
In the beginning of the relationship, they probably saw a red sign and ghosted without an explanation which is infuriating, or they were talking to several guys at once, found one they liked more, and ghosted because they thought it would be easier then explaining.

Dating sucks.

Answer 31

Obtuse

Yoda

I got to a point of not bothering. It's like if I'm getting bored at a restaurant with a girl, I tell her: "Hey, I'm getting bored of this place. Let's bounce!" Whatever. I figure if I can't just do whatever I want to do and say whatever I want around the girl in the beginning, I might never be able to do that. So I'm okay taking the gamble and scaring her away even on the first date. Oddly the more I did that though, the more successful my dates became.

Answer 32

Browneye57 | 3.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Most of what you've seen or heard is wrong. About keeping them happy, that is true, but you don't do it intentionally FOR or TO her, you do it by being the most awesome man you can possibly be. And you do THAT for YOURSELF. A man on his life mission is actually going someplace and being someone. THAT is what makes a woman happy.

And yes, the burden of performance is on the man. Everything that happens, the success or failure, bears on you. The only way you can keep a woman from growing tired and bored is to simply be so fukkin awesome they can't afford to leave. They are drawn to men with options, with power, with money. If you're weak and lazy, and ineffectual, she'll shut down sexually, cheat bail or any combination. I guarantee it.

Stephen_77

1 y
Then let her go. Keeping a woman happy seems far too energy draining.
Browneye57

1 y
Uh, no, a real men is doing it all for himself anyway. Where is your own self respect? ARe you not successful for YOU?

And here's the thing - once men figure this out they become wildly successful, they hit the gym and look great, they dress well, they're smart and sophisticated, they know where they're going and how they're getting there. So if she's not going to follow, or doesn't give a shit, then some other GREAT woman will. It's a win-win all around.

Answer 33

Stephen_77

Then let her go. Keeping a woman happy seems far too energy draining.

Answer 34

Browneye57

Uh, no, a real men is doing it all for himself anyway. Where is your own self respect? ARe you not successful for YOU?

And here's the thing - once men figure this out they become wildly successful, they hit the gym and look great, they dress well, they're smart and sophisticated, they know where they're going and how they're getting there. So if she's not going to follow, or doesn't give a shit, then some other GREAT woman will. It's a win-win all around.

Answer 35

Vladyslav

Xper 4

I feel the same way. I lose my sense of peace with myself. How astonishing is it that women can bring guys to their knees and flatten their egos so easily. I swear they have incredible amounts of power without even realising it sometimes.

Answer 36

just_a_potato | 315 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Well I don't have a woman and I don't have a partner nor am I a man, but I can say pretty ladies do make me sweaty and I can't act myself around them 😂

Stephen_77

1 y
So you're a lesbian?
just_a_potato

1 y
No I'm bisexual
just_a_potato

1 y
Why?

Answer 37

Stephen_77

So you're a lesbian?

Answer 38

just_a_potato

No I'm bisexual

Answer 39

just_a_potato

Why?

Answer 40

Pyrofox | 611 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Learn to just YOLO when dating XD. The thing that hooks most people in dates are the qwirks a person has.

Answer 41

morimeme1 | 348 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

I'm not surprised you feel that way as even though the majority of people are not too smart - you make anyone look like a genious in comparison.

Answer 42

boggboss | 4.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Never needed guides to help me get or keep a women once you start that rubbish you lock yourself into believing opinions as facts

Answer 43

Jonny_ | 483 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Nah not really, women don't tend to drop their interest in people without reason.

Answer 44

Jltakk | 162 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

I feel that way about attracting women in the first place. These self help videos don't take into account that what works for some people will not apply to others. Some might naturally be aloof, and awkward. Others may be the opposite.

Answer 45

Tezuka234

Xper 2

tbh i can be shy at times but with a normal confersation im always being myself tbh their just another person if you think it this way it shouldn't be so bad 🤗

Answer 46

DanOh2018

Yoda

I can because I just stop talking to women who can't handle me. Life is too short to waste time on a spoiled princess. There are lots of women who are perfectly open to all the weird stuff I'm into.

Answer 47

Dchrls78104 | 1.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

You shouldn't feel that way; because if you do, compatibility is lacking or else the relationship is fundamentally unhealthy.

Answer 48

igiem

Xper 5

I feel that if I had a girlfriend, there would be many social and romantic standards I would have to meet.

Answer 49

Juxtapose | 1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Date a hot shemale if you think women aren't for you. They have a male brain and will be more relatable.

Stephen_77

1 y
Thanks but no thanks

Answer 50

Stephen_77

Thanks but no thanks

Answer 51

Snakeyes7 | 502 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

A girlfriend no, that would spell bad news for the relationship. Women other than a partner absolutely.

Answer 52

filipswagson

Xper 2

thats why personality beats looks in women, find someone who you love

Answer 53

wankiam | 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

i dont need a youtube guide on that... im always myself and for every woman that doesn't like that there is another that does

Answer 54

Ili33

Xper 1

Dont copy what others do, be your self and stay your self if dosent click its not meant to be.

Answer 55

jacknayman

Xper 1

do a lot oflook ing at the friendshaveing agoodtimeandalot of divorce

Answer 56

winterfox10

Master

I don't feel that way at all, no.

When being with a woman do you feel like you can never be yourself?

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