You bring up a great point when it comes to Love and conditional expectations in a relationship.
When someone says, I love you, and the other person says, I love you too! The word, Too is conditional on the sense that because you said I love you, I will love you. You may not think this is a big deal, it is. We all put this expectation on our partners that if I say it to you, you have to say it back. And look at the fear and insecurity that conditional statement has created.
I changed that in my life a long time ago and I have this discussion with women I become close with.
If you truly love someone and you say I love you to them and they don't say it back, why do people get upset, fearful, insecure and start to question the relationship? Because their love is conditional based on if the other person says it too and not based on love at all. That's control.
If you truly love someone. It doesn't matter if they love you or not for that love to exist. And if it does, it's not love.
In your case, either she realizes this and is started saying it so much it started sounding cheap (which I doubt considering the age factor), or she may not want to continue the relationships but thinks she is responsible for your feelings and doesn't want to say anything.
I hope I am wrong here, but from my expierience, she may have found love elsewhere. See if you can have a face to face heart to heart. It's easy to see what someone is really saying with visual cues if you know what to look for
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LDR's don't really work because the organic bond you would share through physical touch and face to face intimacy is totally absent. Technology allows you to connect with people, yes. But it becomes merely an illusion when you compare it to the intensity of a real face to face bond. So what you want is to make sure that you can see her face to face as often as possible. If not, then, and this has happened to me, the more time she spends with other guys, the more she becomes emotionally oriented to those other guys. Plus, she is young so she may not even make good on her plans to come home, because she may decide or discover that she wants to do something else. It's ok to feel bonded to someone you love, but you have to be realistic about the circumstances around that person. So the best thing to do is ask her straight up what's going on. Is she interested in someone else, or does she still love you, ask something like that. But try not to be dramatic about it. Ask her how school is going. What are her friends like? Briefly acknowledge that you did get quite emotionally accustomed to hearing ILU from her, then perhaps ask how she feels, if she still loves you. How does she feel about her other relationships, or other guys. Encorage her to be honest, because that's the only way a relationship can get better if need be, or for things to be amicable if need be.
Maybe she got tired of It. Do you really need those ILUs all the time? Every time, everyday? If you do, tell her that, or else she won't know. Your skirting around the question instead of being direct with her. Asking a person is they fine is generic, can be boring and refutes the real questions:
1. Do you really love me anymore?
2. Why haven't you told me you love me in over 2 weeks?
3. Are you seeing another guy?
Better for her to give you a straight answer and get some reaction than none. And of it ends badly, remember that at least you tried and she has to take some responsibility for what she did.
Why do people need to hear the I love you all the time. When u say a statement too often it loses value and meaning. Just like saying I'm sorry. After a while when u hear it u won't care as much cause it becomes normal and regular. That's why people use the term sk loosely and too quickly these days.
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Do her a favor and grow a penis. Man up boy. She shows she cares still. Or until she stops caring for your sensitive nature.
Women want men that shows a little toughness to be secure enough to just be cool with how life goes either way.
Start reading all these women on GAG. They are concerned about men not caring enough. That is what gets their curiosity aroused.
And read what they think of an overly sensitive boy.
It’s not hard to figure you need to secure and attentive.I think it's possible she's is tired of all the "I love you". But it would also indicate that she's probably tired of other things, so talking about how you want you relationship to evolve would be good. Don't you feel your relation can move to another level?
I believe that ldr can work because I personally know 3 examples.
Are you ever together? You haven't seen each other since she start studying? Because I think such conversation would be best in persont than by the phone. The mouth talks, but the body also communicates and a hug or a kiss can show feelings better than any words.The vast majority of the time it's stemming from some level of insecurity on your part and the best thing you can do is check yourself. Check to make sure you're good emotionally. That you're not getting needy. That you're leading a life in a way you can be proud of, when you take a second to look.
I promise you that if simply decide "I'm going to do, speak and act in a way that I can be proud of, regardless of what that means for the outcome" you will be in a better place in your relationship and your life as a man. No matter how you're feeling. If you take a breath and act In a way you can be proud in the moment. Your good.I'm in a very similar situation with my ldr boyfriend, I wish I could help, I hope it works out. All I can say is thats kinda a red flag, the not saying I love you back, no matter what a partner should say gn and I love you at least once a day in a ldr
Prolly cuz she doesn't love you back again. Sometimes ladies still show care in order not to make the other feel sad. Call her one day and ask the question "Do you still love me?" Some ladies will still say "yes" even if it's a "no" but notice how the answer comes and make your deductions... Hopefully she won't give reasons to end the xall after the question. Good luck
suspicious. she's lying when she says everything's fine.
Move forward, because it wasn't real, a person who loves someone, sticks bye them through the thick and thin, through the good days and bad days, they don't run, they don't give up, they don't look for something new, and they don't act like they are the only ones doing everything, share the burdens of each other is true commitment...
She has probably found someone else. That is what happens most often in LDR's. Someone always thinks one in the hand is worth 2 in the bush and across country.
There's no such thing as an "ldr", neither of you loves the other, you are in no form of a relationship whatsoever. Quit playing pretend and lying to yourself, find an actual flesh and blood girlfriend or you'll keep being miserable.
That's ussually a sign of slipping intrest or intrest building else where
girls lie! and theyre sneaky. You may never know what the real deal is.
A LDR is just an acquaintance and that is all it will ever be.
Oh man, that's why I think Ldr's don't work. Probably some other guy has caught her attention
Ask her specifically why she stopped saying that.
Oh she is done with you give her an out
- u
Hmmmmm sounds strange
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