It's normal just sounds like he dosent want to keep it in. Nothing wrong with it. Just let him know you feel a bit inadequate over it! He should stop being so open about it or give you more complements to boost your feelings! I'm the same way 🤷♂️. I like looking and talking out about hot girls when we are out and about. Then I give my wifey some attention. Say something about her sexy booty in her clothes! then pull her close and say things like (do you think we make her jealous.)(if she pays me for the sex I'll give you half😜) I'm also very open and have a HIGH sex drive! I like seeing women on billboards, TV shows, Walmart, hell jogging up the road!!! But I most love to see my wifey's face when I have to turn and give her all that affection! I understand it's nice to be the centerpiece but you can't expect him to be an emotionally solitary gay turd just because you think you should be the best there is. Your not🤷♂️! So the good news is you have to keep working for his undivided attention! And he has to keep chasing you! For how boring it would be if you to where (just perfect for each other 🤢🤮) y'all could sit home and start a knitting class get some cats and just be perfect. And in the long run if he dosent want to hear your opinion. ( nobody should have to change for anybody) but you do have to make compromises and deals to work in a relationship! If he doesn't then he should be on the chopping block!! You can start with asking if it's ok if you do the same with other guys. (He will say yes so he doesn't come off like an ass) then look for the biggest sexiest guy around y'all a d say. (I bet his dick is so big and hude) then lick a lip. 100% he will be thinking of a way to take it back. Say if I can't do it neither can you!! But if you can just join in and when he says something a out a girl rub up on him and say I bet she can't do this and just laugh and be happy!! Girls are hot guys like girls. Girls like a guy. It's just life🤷♂️
I agree that there is nothing wrong in admiring other women. My boyfriend hardly ever compliments me; initially I thought he was just shy. He also isn't protective or possessive about me infact he enjoys when other guys hit on me. There is no "you are mine" or " I am your's" in our relationship. He only says that he loves me but I don't feel loved.
Oh you poor thing yeah that's not cool. That could be a sign of him being kind of controlling. Is he kind of controlling? What I mean by that. It's not okay but somewhat natural. Like if he keeps you feeling a certain way then he has less fear you will leave. That's a real thing to watch out for. It could just be mildly controlling which is fine and natural all the way up to heavily abusive. If that's not it. It could be a self confidence issue. Or less self-confidence and more of a experience thing. Like are you giving him a pop on the arm somewhat flirty action when he's open about other girls. If he enjoys that that may be what he's going for but he needs to learn to obtain it through compliments or interactions directly with you. Or after he says something about another girl agree or at an opinion then ask what he thinks about the same attributes on you. If he chooses to compliment or give good feedback. Then you have to be confident and flirt back or tell him you like it then and only then. This is getting long so I'll stop here LOL
hi_it_is_me123@(I'm going to add we have been married 12+ years and together a lot longer then that. Sens early high school) >in the right situation yeah! It feels good to be flitted with. Long as it's short and moves on. But saying she likes how someone looks when where out is 100% different. Truth be like this! No!!! Like what if she gets flirty with some guy. He starts to get a boner and it's a monster!! Fuck I would be akting all kinds of mad and weird lol. Like I'm good and big and all🤷♂️! But I'm not secure enough for that s***! I'm the biggest thing in the bedroom when I'm in it lol some may like that but no BBC or some shit for my wifey! Except my BWC! But another girl would be fine! Haha😜 that's life. Maybe if I new the guy was way smaller then he can stay and cuddle while I go fishing. 🤫
Maybe a little hypocritical🤷♂️. But remember I'm still a guy. When you see a deer you see Bambi, I see antlers up on the wall, when you see a Priceless French painting. I see a drunk naked girl! 🤷♂️🤙
Ok that means there putting out so as long as there all not giving it up to one dude then I fill I could be one of those guys she could be getting it easily from. lol lamo! Confidence!! I'm loosing sight on how we are getting on this path?
I mean your wife is nore likely to get male attention than you get attention from women. Cat calling is an example. Would you be ok if she responded to cat callers
My acceptable response to that if she liked what they were doing of course. She could put on a little strut look back with a winking smile then grab my butt and we can keep walking. She can say calm down boys and do a little twirl for all I care. As we were walking away my response would be something like.( as now I would be holding her close) so you liked that hu! Well you know your all mine😉. He couldn't handle you like I do anyway!🤙 Or what ever. It's hot to fill you are wanted because your the man. Not the one you ended up with!
See how that takes work on both ends. Girls always say confidence is sexy confidence is what they're looking for. Not dick size and blah blah blah blah. Girls have to be confident to. Or one day a small flirt is going to cause big problems!!
No because that would be like a longing for and would make me feel kind of inadequate. Letting me know she's longing to be with someone else to me would it feel very good to anybody I would assume. But I feel the liking of somebody else lusting after you is different. Maybe it's the word. But crushing over a guy sounds a lot like she's sitting around thinking pacifically about one person that she would like to be with. And if we were together I would not like that.
I mean would you be ok if your wife feel the same way on other like you do on other girls. You said it is normal. Why should not be normsl that your wife have crushes on other guys
I don't have crushes on no one but my wifey! But I still like other females. We just can't fuck less somehow she said it would be ok. Then still maybe and under sutton circumstances. But if a girl looks good I'll tell her🤷♂️. I'm not gay. (Witch is cool) she is not gay. (Not as cool) so I expect moves like magic mice to get her hot!. (Dume ass move) but I understand so dose and should everybody. P
Well, we aren't naturally monogamous creatures. That has just been socially enforced. So it's not uncommon for people to feel sexual attraction to multiple people. But sexual attraction doesn't always entail "love." It does, however, entail "lust."
It is more common for guys to feel sexual desires for multiple girls while not loving them all equally. For instance, I could have sex with a model but never see her as girlfriend material. Because (in this scenario) I just like her for her body! So I'm only lusting after her. But if another girl that wasn't as attractive treated me better, I'd want to be around her more. I would feel love for her. Something that goes deeper than lust.
It's also possible to love both people an equal amount and not know which one to pick. But assuming he is just lusting, that means he does still love you. But the true test of the strength of his love for you would be his response to the rules you have. Because if you don't want him to act on or express any lust towards anyone else and he still does, he may still love you, but not enough to respect your wishes.
Like, I may love playing the piano, but sometimes I just would rather watch a movie instead. I don't love the piano any less, something else has just piqued my interest.
So he may not be able to follow the monogamous standards that society has set. Take that into account! And talk to him about it.
Well, whom are these "other girls" and what's his take on a "crush"? Dose he simply admire them as a person and leaves it at that? Or dose he act upon his infatuation and flirts with them? Because if his feelings stray and he begins to flirt with them to the extent where it makes you feel uncomfortable, it means that his emotions and love for you aren't rooted. A crush is something that one has when they are single. If you expect a committed relationship, he shouldn't be emotionally infatuated by other girls and thinking about them. Tell him you thank him for his honesty, but he needs to set his emotions straight.
Either he isn’t ready for monogamy or he is being open and transparent. Some people have crushes on people other than their SO but never act on it while others have tummy vision and only see the one they are with.
My mom’s advice was when you are married it doesn’t mean you will never be attracted to any one else you just don’t act on it.
From your other posts on this thread it sounds like he is taking the crushes too far. If he isn’t giving you what you need in the relationship and what you are asking for isn’t over the top he might not be good boyfriend material for you
At least he is being honest. Let him go. Tell him to get it out of his system if he comes back to you when he is done and your still single brilliant go for it. If he comes back to you and you have found someone who has only eyes for you his lose he'll have to get over it. Sometimes we need tests in life to show what is meant to be and what isn't this is that time do not make him feel guilty for what he is feeling simply let him go. As the saying goes if you love someone you set them free. Set him free
I dont understand why some dudes are saying this is a natural thing. Of course it is natural to find others attractive but when in a relationship it is not ok to have a crush on another person. there's a difference between crushing and finding attractive. Cuz when you have a crush, little feelings start to develop it is not right. If you dont feel comfortable in this sort of relationship talk it out or leave
There comes a point. I mean sure he can have a celebrity crush, or think that other girls are pretty. But if he is crushing on a friend or coworker that's totally not okay. You two are in a relationship, JUST the TWO of you. The only girl he should truly have his eyes on is you.
It depends on the guy but I know for me personally I can have a crush on several people at once and if I told my girlfriend that I had a crush on her friend it would just be me being open with her. There is a difference between loving someone and having a crush on them.
It means that he's a healthy masculine man. Guys will always, always check out other girls regardless if he's single or married. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. We are wired to look at things we find attractive. It's natural. I guarantee that your dad checks out other women on the street even if he is in love with your mom. It doesn't mean he will act on it. He's just looking.
@hi_it_is_me123 Sure. It's human nature to look at what we find attractive. It releases dopamine which makes us feel good. As long as she doesn't jump into bed with him, she can look all she wants. It's human nature. Look it up if you don't believe me.
@Thatsamazing I know the truth already. I just wanted to hear other's opinion on this. There's no point in bottling up emotions when in a relationship.
Come on... 🤦🏽♂️ I just hope you're not going to continue with this situation. It clearly mean, just that he's not serious with you. The principle of having a crush is normally when you are single. It gives me the impression that he's trying to "keep spare wheels" , if you leave him.
Immature? No , Disrespectful yes , How would he feel if you were crushing on other guys? Honestly you are better off dumping him and finding someone that values and respects you not someone that looks at you as a convenience
Sounds like he is just being human. It's great that he is honest with you. You have to realize that just because you're dating doesn't mean he lost interest in women. It's ok to look just not touch.
You make yourself feel inadequate. He is with you isn't he?
He says he is with me. He is allowed to admire other women obviously I have no problem with that. But he crushes on my friend, stalks her on social media, he also gets nervous when he is around her. I mean, I think thats too much. He even enjoys the attention I get or when other guys hit on me
Yeah crushing on your friend isn't ok. It shouldn't go past the admire other women.
Him enjoying you getting attention from other guys can be something as he likes that you're attractive and others see that. Confirmation that you're in fact sexy. Or he might have a kink of sharing. Not necessarily cuckold status because that's very specific but in the form of seeing you with other men makes it seem like a real in the moment porn he may fantasize about.
Yes girl, focus on bettering yourself so that nothing can hurt you deeper than it's already has. Losing someone is hard, but losing yourself in the progress can be much more harder. There is plenty more opportunities for you to explore, give yourself options too😉
Loving someone and crushing on someone are not necessarily the same. Most often crushing feelings are superficial and short-term while loving feelings are deep and stable over time.
Crushing feelings can be intense, though they subside or even disappear when not exposed to the "crushee" physically, digitally, or when their name is mention.
However, crushing feelings can evolve to other intense feelings including infatuation and love.
It probably just means he enjoys flirting with other women... or maybe he would like to enjoy it more than flirting with other women. You could ask him what he gets out of that kind of behavior and you could also let him know how it makes you feel if it makes you feel a certain way
It means he doesn't truly know what being in love truly means and he is just playing you. Better not take him seriously cause he is obviously not taking your relationship seriously. I wouldn't waste my time with a guy like that but that's just me.
Sounds like the type of guy who cheats and then tells his girl he still loves her. What a joke lol
It's a great concern that obvious. You should ask him not to do so, if he really loves you he won't do that for your happiness. Some guys are little offset they need to be told something that they shouldn't do. You can tell him directly that don't do that.
It means you need to dump him asap and find somebody that will be so inlove with you that no other woman will ever matter to him. How disrespect he is to you and the relationship. SMH
Because crushes are just attractions. Physical attraction is a fleeting thing.
What your boyfriend has for you might be beyond that - enjoys your company, talking with you, he wants to know you for your flaws as well and wants you to know him for his as well, he'll like you when you become older, he sees a life with you. That's what it means usually when a guy loves you but he talks about being attracted to other girls.
It means he plans on fucking around and he does not consider himself bound to you where he has to be faithful. He going to do whatever he wants still with any girl he meets.
The truth of the matter is the basic man is always going to have crush and jerk off to women that aren't you. If you found an evolved man or found your twinflame, that would not be the case.
Most Helpful Opinions