Will my girlfriend trust me after I admitted to a drunken one night stand with my ex?

Question

Hey guys, I have a relationship with a great girl for 2 years now, we love each other and we have many future plans together. The problem is that the first week we started hanging out and sleeping together, i had a drunk one night stand with my ex-girlfriend at a party. The truth is that i hadn't got over her yet when it happened (she hurt me really bad, including cheating, ignoring me etc ). I hadn't told my current girlfriend about it, because then we hadn't had talked yet about being exclusive, I really liked her and didn't want to hurt her. I have really regretted about what happened and I'm not proud about it. She asked me if something happened between me and my ex that night before 2 years ago, and i couldn't help but telling her the truth, i couldn't lie to her. She told me that she felt bad about itbit it's okay because we weren't that serious back then , we were just getting to know each other better and that she appreciates I told her the truth. I don't want her not to trust me anymore because of this. It was a mistake which i fully regret. Today I'm trying to give her all of my love and she does so and i don't want her to feel insecure. You think she will not trust me after that?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

The things with girls bro is they hold grudges when it comes to stuff like that , even though you weren’t really serious with her when that happened. You still cheated on her considering you were already hooking up with her then you got drunk and screwed your ex , hate to say it bro but you dug your own grave. She might tell you what you want to hear and say she appreciates you being honest but reality she doesn’t appreciate that , it’s stuff like that that you got to keep to yourself and take it to the grave , put yourself in her shoes , How would you feel if she told you after you both hooked up and started dating that she screwed her ex boyfriend 1 time cuz she got drunk? I don’t think you would stick with her , your insecurities would be through the roof thinking she might end up screwing her ex again 1 day , so that’s exactly what she is going to be thinking , so her trust for you will probably never be the same and hate to say it if she chooses to stick with you she is going to make your life a living hell cuz she isn’t going to trust you. You basically gave her control over you cuz now she is going to use that as her advantage and you are going to be the one saying no baby I am sorry baby , I won’t do that baby until she decides she will cheat on you cuz now she looks at you like a wimp Honesty bro you should of never told her , all that mattered was you knew you fucked up and you knew you weren’t that serious with her yet so you should of kept your mouth shut.

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

I don't get why some people are calling you out for being a cheater. I mean I read it right you're talking about an event that happened when and here were not even exclusively dating yet and it's been two years of being utterly faithful.
It's not even something you need to explain or justify or even bring up.
I mean if you feel like telling her then do it but I say you got the chance to leave this behind and still not lose sleep over it since you technically didn't betray her trust at the time.

remmadee · Accepted Answer

The only way that this would possibly be an issue is if you were still in regular contact with the ex. Otherwise you have been with your girlfriend for 2 years and as far as we know have been faithful. You chose her instead of opting to get with your ex in a serious manner and obviously it has been working out thus far. Being honest about what happened is probably a little hurtful now, but if you had told her back then would she have still been with you? I'm not sure. It might have caused issues and insecurity earlier on when the relationship may have not been as stable.

GhostMochi · Accepted Answer

I hate to say it, but your chances of staying together are very slim. You can make excuses, but at the end of the day, you were the one who chose to get drunk and have that one night stand.

If you do end up staying together, nothing will be the same and she will definitely have trust issues around you and the two of you will end up breaking up anyway.
So if I were you, I would just cut my losses and try to take some time to reflect on my actions and do some self healing~

loveslongnails · Answer

If you haven't given her any reason NOT to after that, I think you're no worse off than if you hadn't told her anything. That might sound like a contradiction of sorts, but my thinking is this: if a woman wants, at some point, to look for a reason to distrust you, she'll find one. Odds are very good that somewhere along the course of a relationship, even without that first week ONS, she'd find one.

But since we'll never be able to test that theory, all you can go by is her current behavior. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Is she subconsciously harboring doubts now? I'd say "no", as long as she isn't acting like it. Will she bring it up as an add on if something else comes along to give her doubts? Hey, is the pope Catholic?

sosia3I · Answer

I think you should have a one night date with your one night stand I don't believe you are over it. You don't regret it and it will only make you proud if you marry her and begin a fairytale romance. Be Apologetic to the new girl explain she was unconsciously used by yourself to replace someone you felt it was hopeless to be with. You gave up on yourself. Dump her call the one night stand party girl and start dating.

SmolBabey · Answer

It depends on her past relationships and if there's a history of cheating. You can bet for at least the next bit, she won't feel comfortable with you being alone with other girls. She may not say it, but she'll feel it. I don't know if you still talk to your ex, but she won't like that now if she was fine with it before. Lots of things can happen. It depends. Good Luck.

ChocoBrownie · Answer

Youve given her a reason not to trust you, you can't blame alcohol. You put yourself in the company of your ex. You wanted to go through with it from the beginning. Stop hurting her more than you have already and just break up with her. You don't truly love her.

TrustMeIGotThis · Answer

She probably wouldn't trust you for a while, but there is a chance she would forgive you if you were forthright. It's much better than if she were to find out from a third-party. If you value her and respect your relationship as much as you say you do, telling her is your best option. Also, I have to ask you (with no malice or judgement), if you cheated on her, is she really going to be enough to spend the rest of your life being faithful to her?

spartan55 · Answer

It's tough to say without knowing her better. I am normally a 100% no cheating hardliner, but I think you're case is forgivable. From what I gathered if you were put in the same situation again there would be no chance you would fool around with your ex. You weren't fully committed to each other at the time... the dreaded 'blind spot' at the beginning of relationships.

Miristheiss · Answer

Trust you?
Why in the hell would she stay with you?
She should just dump you, go no contact and call it a day.
There is no reason for her to spend another moment with you.
You broke the intimacy bond that makes a couple a couple and you have the stench of some other woman on you.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

The thing is you are feeling guilty you fucked up, but if you are serious about the girl you are dating you have to admit it it to her.
You can only say the truth but outcome is to be decided by her it's best you tell her because she will come to know it someday and it will be bigger mess so now is thd time i would say apologise I don't know if she will trust or not just ask for pardon and give her space

Scarecrow13 · Answer

I think the fact that you admitted it and she didn't have to find out from somewhere else and have you deny it is a plus. Also, you hadn't said you were exclusive and she didn't seem too offended by it. Just avoid it happening again and I'm sure it will be good.

Wizzbang · Answer

If it was legit the first week of meeting and you were just getting to know each other... a drunken night with the ex isn't the biggest deal. If it would've happened maybe a month or two in and you were thinking of being exclusive, then it would've been a bad move

LalaIbby90 · Answer

You weren't exclusive. You were just getting to know her back then. You were honest to her question. You had not cheated since being exclusive. There is no issues and she should be fine.

Anonymous · Answer

A drunk mind is a sober heart. Were y'all dating for a while or just starting out dating? You tell her prepare to lose her. What she don't know won't hurt her unless you have an sti in that case tell her. Losing a woman's trust is hard. You have an easier time getting bail for a murder case than you do getting a woman trust after you break her trust.

2troubleiam · Answer

You are a good guy. Maybe u shouldn't tell her since it happens at the first week of u two knowing each other. She should appreciate that you told her but if I was in your case I wouldn't say. Lots of drama avoided

Compassiondude101 · Answer

You used your current girlfriend as a rebound, you took advantage of her. Man or woman, you should never be dating someone if you are not completely over your ex. It’s a sign of toying with their emotions and just using them to satisfy your lust of being with someone.

Lavinnykins · Answer

If it was early days and both of you hadn't agreed you were mutually exclusive, I'd say she'll trust you. If you said she regularly asks you now about your ex and your feelings towards her, then I'd say she doubted you.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Voted B but didn't read the extra description. If it was before you were in a relationship with current girlfriend then it's fine. If you cheated on her during the current relationship, then she'll doubt you at every turn.

Hepy82 · Answer

She knew anyway, women can store that shit up for years before hitting you with a truth test later down the line, you passed, nothing to worry about.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

You did nothing wrong. You werent serious or exclusive, you've told her the truth wgen asked. She may be a little perturbed but it shouldn't affect her trust in you. Carry on as normal.

I-am-a-nobody · Answer

I don't trust you and you didn't even offend me directly. What's to stop you from getting drunk and doing it again?

TMcCaa · Answer

U did it once... youd do it again. Unless you can prove to her 100% that you won't do it again, that you have no want to and you give her no reason to think otherwise you might bc you was honest with her but you're gonna have to gain that trust back.

Thatsamazing · Answer

The real question here is why you even told her. Do you care for your girlfriend any less? If the answer is yes, then it matters. If no, then it doesn't matter.

Mellontikos · Answer

Drunk doesn't mean shit. All it means is you did what you wanted to do.

Justneedtokno · Answer

She will be thankful that you’re being honest with her. But you will have to give time for her to trust your judgement.

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like you’re probably okay. You answered her question honestly, which was the right move. Based on the way she asked you, it sounds like she already knew what the answer was anyway.

BlessedDaddy · Answer

Absolutely not and you will never hear the end of it.

CocoBatFloof · Answer

She shouldn't, you're an ass, so is she for cheating, this was doomed from the start

Bandit74 · Answer

It sounds like you already td her and she didn't seem to think it was a big deal.

CrazyRay43 · Answer

If you weren’t exclusive at the time, there’s nothing to regret and feel bad about

ThisIsMyOpinion · Answer

You are about to get so much hate from the girls here!

smb930 · Answer

You should remain loyal. If she's willing to forgive you and stay, this is something to never repeat.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Were you OFFICIALLY a couple at the time? If not do not tell her anything. If you were, tell her but be prepared for the worst.

douride2 · Answer

I can't speak for your girlfriend. All I know is if it was me it would be over for the 2 of us.

whitehide · Answer

Didn't you already told her about it when she asked in the first weeks you started dating?

Anonymous · Answer

Im sorry but she deserves so much better and you shouldn't let her get back with someone who cheats on her.

Jack9949 · Answer

You were drunk. You didn’t have the proper judgement to think logically. She’ll forgive you.

Geminiheart69 · Answer

U f*** up buddy. There ain no coming back from that. Sorry fam

Anonymous · Answer

Trust is like paper. Onces it's crumbled, it can never be perfect again.

Gedaria · Answer

Who hasn't been there...

moonpie89 · Answer

Nope. She'll probably leave you

Lightsoutallout · Answer

You have to be honest and own what you did

Myviews · Answer

At least you have the balls to say it to her

imfreeze95 · Answer

I sure as HELL wouldn’t

trickycrossiant · Answer

You sùck damn

Anonymous · Answer

Your a douchebag

Numbnuts89 · Answer

why should she?

Will my girlfriend trust me after I admitted to a drunken one night stand with my ex?

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