God loves you no matter what you do, even being sinful he never stops, as long as you repent and do everything you can to live for him and change yourself to be better in his eyes. Being Christian you know that it is sinfull to have relations with another woman as yoy would with a man. This doesn't mean he stops loving you, but it means you should do everything you can to realign your mind from the sin of having relations with a woman as you would a man.
Yes he may have made you this way, for it to be your challenge to over come in this life and prove what you would do for him to be deserving of his forgiveness. More importantly be that someone that does so and inspires others like you to do the same.
there is no reason to come out. first off why would you? who does it help? second its not possible for you to know if this is a long term change or not, to be honest it probably isn't, you're in college lots of girls do this, they mostly grow out of it
I know some religious people who have a bisexual girl in their family and they accepted that but they are having a hard time with it. I think their religion is Baptist so hmmm but whatever you choose is your choice if you can just kinda be quiet about it around the religion guys it's probably easier
It seems like coming out would put a lot of stress on a really special connection. Plus, you shouldn't out her if she's not ready. That's a big breach of trust. Love doesn't need attention or approval to grow into something beautiful, but it does need trust and patience. This is good practice for both.
Don't put a label on it if you are not sure. You could self-delude. He sounds like HE was a bad choice, not like YOU might not like men. Take it easy, recover. One day you may want to have a child - even if you like women as well (I wouldn't have a problem with a bi-wife and having a child, at all).
Considering her position, that is a lot of pressure. The advantage to waiting until you're both not minors, is that people cannot legally control you at that point. This is also a step that the two of you should take together. If she's not ready, you probably shouldn't push her.
Don't ever be afraid to show someone that you love them regardless because it's just going to be that much harder to do it later on just come on out with it and if they can't accept that then they don't need to be in your life but that's just how I would put it tell them that you and her are in love and you don't want to change anything be proud of who you love
Coming out as gay or bisexual is hard. It will always be hard. I can't tell you when to do it, although you will probably have to at some point. Depending on where you go to college there may be a support system to help you. Most nondenominational colleges have a LGBTQ+ support system. A friend of mine came out as bisexual in January of our first year then. He got a lot of help from them to help him understand everything and how to best do it.
No no no. My cousin made same mistake she thought she could live with her girlfriend rest of her life. Even though she came out she became the black sheep of the family. Don't get involved with family events and doesn't get invited any of her old friends since words spread fast. She regrets coming out. Now she blames her girlfriend pushing her to do and resents her for losing her family.
My advice is to come out when you know that you are comfortable enough to let your family know. You’ve been secretly dating that girl for 4 months which is great but I think you should wait a little bit longer. I hope when you do tell them that they’re okay with it because it seems like she really makes you very happy 🥺
Religion put that fear into you through the fear-mongering dogma it spouts. Don't be blinded by any religion, be honest with yourselves, and be who you are.
Nobody is obliged to make a public statement about their sexuality. As far as anyone knows she is just your BFF, why not keep it that way? You're probably too young to understand your sexuality anyway.
That's not the point.. having to date someone in secret is hard and stressful. I know because I myself am lesbian. Opening up to family about it is important, a really big deal~
My mother's cousin is a gay guy. He's in his 80s already. He married a British model in the 60s then got divorced then moved in with a guy who he lived with for the next 40+ years.
My whole family knew he was gay. He was living with a GUY and came to family occasions with this guy. WE ALL KNEW. We didn't have to hear him talk about is and we didn't WANT him to talk about it because it made many of us uncomfortable. Personally, I think it is disgusting. What do you think of that? But that doesn't mean I don't understand it or treated him or his partner badly. I didn't. I respected their right to have sex with whoever they want to have sex with. That's THEIR business. Just don't expect ME to approve of it. You think what you want and let me think what I want. It works both ways.
In fact I had, and still have a lot of respect for this guy exactly BECAUSE he respected us and KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT about his sexual life. He NEVER "came out." He didn't have to.
In my view this whole thing about the LGBTQRSTUV movement or whatever it is is about trying to FORCE other people to VALIDATE homosexuality and other abnormal sexual behaviors. That will NEVER happen. To expect other people to approve of your behavior and try to FORCE them to if they don't is DISRESPECTFUL OF THEM.
You only get my respect if you respect me.
Don't "come out." Just live your life the way you want to and respect other people's right not to hear about things that might offend them. That's the way to do it.
And if some people see they way you are living, and don't want to have anything to do with you? So be it. You will need to choose between them and your lifestyle. I know that is a hard choice, but grownups have to make hard choices.
To get respect you have to give it. I'm sick of IN YOUR FACE LGBTQRSTUV. I don't want to hear about your sex life.
I agree with that. Respect goes both ways. I respect another person if they don't feel the need to force me to approve on their relationship. You don't need my approval, live your life, and respect other people's right to have their opinions.
I'd bring things up as a casual side sentence, like "Yeah my girlfriend loves it" but I wouldn't stop everything to announce something, everyone will know your sexuality if you're bringing your significant other with you everywhere anyway. I don't expect a straight person to stop the party to announce that they're dating someone, I treat a homosexual person the exact same. That's respect.
Personally I believe that homosexuality is a birth defect. Why? Because human beings have to procreate for the species to survive. So anything that interferes with procreation is by definition a birth defect.
So here's the question. How can I approve of a birth defect? It makes no sense and I don't think of it in terms of approve or not approve.
I have two kinds of feelings towards gay people:
My basic feeling is the same kind of feeling I have for other people with serious birth defects, compassion and pity. I feel sorry for them because I understand that people with birth defects face challenges in life. That's the way I feel about gay people unless and until they give me a reason to think otherwise.
The only gay people I don't have those feelings for are the ones who disrespect me by trying to force me to think they way they insist I should think. For them I have disgust and contempt. If these faggots want to call me a homophobe feel free. I'll call you a faggot.
The problem with these people is that they make believe all they are asking for is tolerance. But tolerance isn't really what they demand. They demand approval. And they will never get it from me. Nor should I be expected to give it. That's MY choice not yours. You don't like it? Tough luck.
My advice to gay people is the same as my advice to all people. If you want to be happy in life you have to follow a few rules.
Rule number 1 is be who you are and don't try to be something you are not.
Rule number 2 is that there will always be some people who don't like the person that you are for one reason or another. How you react to them will affect your own happiness. If you accept that some people won't like you, and are not bitter towards them just because of it, and accept their views even if you don't like them, allow them to have their views, respect their right to have them even if you don't agree you will be much happier than if you are always trying to control other peoples' thoughts. You be you and let them be them. That doesn't mean you have to have any relationship with them, and they don't have to choose to have one with you. It just means you are at peace with who you are and are not turning over control of your happiness to someone else to let them make you happy or unhappy.
This is my advice to those who are afraid of "coming out." Be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. Don't use your sexuality as a hammer to hit people on the head with. It doesn't take much for most people to get it that you are gay.
So what to do about your family members and loved ones who don't know? I don't see anything wrong with sitting down with them and gently telling them if they don't already know. If that's "coming out" I don't see anything wrong with it. You want to try to avoid shocking them into a heart attack. I get that.
And is it possible some will have a big problem with it? Sure. But go back and read rule #1 and #2. There are no other options.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
56Opinion
God loves you no matter what you do, even being sinful he never stops, as long as you repent and do everything you can to live for him and change yourself to be better in his eyes. Being Christian you know that it is sinfull to have relations with another woman as yoy would with a man. This doesn't mean he stops loving you, but it means you should do everything you can to realign your mind from the sin of having relations with a woman as you would a man.
Yes he may have made you this way, for it to be your challenge to over come in this life and prove what you would do for him to be deserving of his forgiveness. More importantly be that someone that does so and inspires others like you to do the same.
there is no reason to come out. first off why would you? who does it help? second its not possible for you to know if this is a long term change or not, to be honest it probably isn't, you're in college lots of girls do this, they mostly grow out of it
Exactly, being bisexual or lesbian is so “cool” nowadays.
@modelUN242 not in Christian communities
I know some religious people who have a bisexual girl in their family and they accepted that but they are having a hard time with it. I think their religion is Baptist so hmmm but whatever you choose is your choice if you can just kinda be quiet about it around the religion guys it's probably easier
It seems like coming out would put a lot of stress on a really special connection. Plus, you shouldn't out her if she's not ready. That's a big breach of trust. Love doesn't need attention or approval to grow into something beautiful, but it does need trust and patience. This is good practice for both.
Don't put a label on it if you are not sure. You could self-delude. He sounds like HE was a bad choice, not like YOU might not like men.
Take it easy, recover. One day you may want to have a child - even if you like women as well (I wouldn't have a problem with a bi-wife and having a child, at all).
Yes.
You'll be accepted by those that value you.
You will be rejected by those that don't deserve you.
I hope your family is accepting, those are the ones that hurt the most if they don't.
But... Be sure it's mutually agreed to first and foremost.
Considering her position, that is a lot of pressure. The advantage to waiting until you're both not minors, is that people cannot legally control you at that point. This is also a step that the two of you should take together. If she's not ready, you probably shouldn't push her.
Don't ever be afraid to show someone that you love them regardless because it's just going to be that much harder to do it later on just come on out with it and if they can't accept that then they don't need to be in your life but that's just how I would put it tell them that you and her are in love and you don't want to change anything be proud of who you love
Coming out as gay or bisexual is hard. It will always be hard. I can't tell you when to do it, although you will probably have to at some point. Depending on where you go to college there may be a support system to help you. Most nondenominational colleges have a LGBTQ+ support system. A friend of mine came out as bisexual in January of our first year then. He got a lot of help from them to help him understand everything and how to best do it.
No no no. My cousin made same mistake she thought she could live with her girlfriend rest of her life. Even though she came out she became the black sheep of the family. Don't get involved with family events and doesn't get invited any of her old friends since words spread fast. She regrets coming out. Now she blames her girlfriend pushing her to do and resents her for losing her family.
My advice is to come out when you know that you are comfortable enough to let your family know. You’ve been secretly dating that girl for 4 months which is great but I think you should wait a little bit longer. I hope when you do tell them that they’re okay with it because it seems like she really makes you very happy 🥺
If religion is involved, and they didn't like you having a boyfriend, I'm guessing introducing a girlfriend won't go well for you.
Religion put that fear into you through the fear-mongering dogma it spouts. Don't be blinded by any religion, be honest with yourselves, and be who you are.
If you want, at least you will maybe feel better. After all its your business, if anybodys opinion matters its the 2 of you.
Don't come out until your girlfriend is comfortable in doing so. I see no reason to make a big announcement.
just come out if you want to, why stress about it. People just accept or not, whoever doesn't you can avoid them and carry on with life.
You don’t need to come out because you met someone.
You come out if and when your ready too, when you know who you are. (If you want to, that is!)
Nobody is obliged to make a public statement about their sexuality. As far as anyone knows she is just your BFF, why not keep it that way? You're probably too young to understand your sexuality anyway.
NO! Who the fuck wants to hear about your sex life. Keep it to yourself. No one else is interested.
Ugh tell that to those Pride Parade people.
That's not the point.. having to date someone in secret is hard and stressful. I know because I myself am lesbian.
Opening up to family about it is important, a really big deal~
Honestly I agree with this. I keep personal matters to myself.
@JyuuKaMoon787
So date them. Just don't talk about it.
My mother's cousin is a gay guy. He's in his 80s already. He married a British model in the 60s then got divorced then moved in with a guy who he lived with for the next 40+ years.
My whole family knew he was gay. He was living with a GUY and came to family occasions with this guy. WE ALL KNEW. We didn't have to hear him talk about is and we didn't WANT him to talk about it because it made many of us uncomfortable. Personally, I think it is disgusting. What do you think of that? But that doesn't mean I don't understand it or treated him or his partner badly. I didn't. I respected their right to have sex with whoever they want to have sex with. That's THEIR business. Just don't expect ME to approve of it. You think what you want and let me think what I want. It works both ways.
In fact I had, and still have a lot of respect for this guy exactly BECAUSE he respected us and KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT about his sexual life. He NEVER "came out." He didn't have to.
In my view this whole thing about the LGBTQRSTUV movement or whatever it is is about trying to FORCE other people to VALIDATE homosexuality and other abnormal sexual behaviors. That will NEVER happen. To expect other people to approve of your behavior and try to FORCE them to if they don't is DISRESPECTFUL OF THEM.
You only get my respect if you respect me.
Don't "come out." Just live your life the way you want to and respect other people's right not to hear about things that might offend them. That's the way to do it.
And if some people see they way you are living, and don't want to have anything to do with you? So be it. You will need to choose between them and your lifestyle. I know that is a hard choice, but grownups have to make hard choices.
To get respect you have to give it. I'm sick of IN YOUR FACE LGBTQRSTUV. I don't want to hear about your sex life.
I agree with that. Respect goes both ways. I respect another person if they don't feel the need to force me to approve on their relationship. You don't need my approval, live your life, and respect other people's right to have their opinions.
I'd bring things up as a casual side sentence, like "Yeah my girlfriend loves it" but I wouldn't stop everything to announce something, everyone will know your sexuality if you're bringing your significant other with you everywhere anyway. I don't expect a straight person to stop the party to announce that they're dating someone, I treat a homosexual person the exact same. That's respect.
Personally I believe that homosexuality is a birth defect. Why? Because human beings have to procreate for the species to survive. So anything that interferes with procreation is by definition a birth defect.
So here's the question. How can I approve of a birth defect? It makes no sense and I don't think of it in terms of approve or not approve.
I have two kinds of feelings towards gay people:
My basic feeling is the same kind of feeling I have for other people with serious birth defects, compassion and pity. I feel sorry for them because I understand that people with birth defects face challenges in life. That's the way I feel about gay people unless and until they give me a reason to think otherwise.
The only gay people I don't have those feelings for are the ones who disrespect me by trying to force me to think they way they insist I should think. For them I have disgust and contempt. If these faggots want to call me a homophobe feel free. I'll call you a faggot.
The problem with these people is that they make believe all they are asking for is tolerance. But tolerance isn't really what they demand. They demand approval. And they will never get it from me. Nor should I be expected to give it. That's MY choice not yours. You don't like it? Tough luck.
My advice to gay people is the same as my advice to all people. If you want to be happy in life you have to follow a few rules.
Rule number 1 is be who you are and don't try to be something you are not.
Rule number 2 is that there will always be some people who don't like the person that you are for one reason or another. How you react to them will affect your own happiness. If you accept that some people won't like you, and are not bitter towards them just because of it, and accept their views even if you don't like them, allow them to have their views, respect their right to have them even if you don't agree you will be much happier than if you are always trying to control other peoples' thoughts. You be you and let them be them. That doesn't mean you have to have any relationship with them, and they don't have to choose to have one with you. It just means you are at peace with who you are and are not turning over control of your happiness to someone else to let them make you happy or unhappy.
This is my advice to those who are afraid of "coming out." Be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. Don't use your sexuality as a hammer to hit people on the head with. It doesn't take much for most people to get it that you are gay.
So what to do about your family members and loved ones who don't know? I don't see anything wrong with sitting down with them and gently telling them if they don't already know. If that's "coming out" I don't see anything wrong with it. You want to try to avoid shocking them into a heart attack. I get that.
And is it possible some will have a big problem with it? Sure. But go back and read rule #1 and #2. There are no other options.
Finally rule #3. Listen to this song...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbLlCxK0pHY
Good luck.