Why does he want two girlfriends if he loves one of us more than the other?

[Anonymous]

I have been talking to this guy since June. The other night while I was staying the night at his house he decided to tell me about a “girlfriend”. I was confused because I thought I was his girlfriend despite us not talking consistently since June. We stopped communicating for a while but got right back in touch which was why I was even back in his bed but he didn’t decide to tell me about his “girlfriend” until now. He starts to go on and on about this girl he loves and doesn’t want to lose and how he wants us meet one another etc so at that point I knew she knew nothing about me. Some days later I overheard him call her on FaceTime while I was there and he tells her about me and even shows me to her in the camera and she was silent for a few and even hung up but he called right back and told her “I just want us to try this out. I don’t want to lose you and it wouldn’t hurt to try having two girlfriends. If it doesn’t work then it just doesn’t but I want you to know that no matter what no one can take away the place you have in my heart.” And that hurt to hear but I decided to give it try and with contemplation she did too. Fast forward to when the three of us actually hung out together and her and I finally met. The three us of stayed the night at his house together, nothing happened because either of us wasn’t quite ready for anything sexual with the three of us yet. The next morning I happened to be off but she had to head to work. She kissed him goodbye and gave me a hug and left and him and I had the remaining of the day together while she was gone but he seemed to be out of it and seemed to really be missing her even though I was there. I even saw he texted her “I put on your oversized t shirt you left because I miss you and started thinking about you as soon as you left.” I couldn’t help but feel jealous because i’ve grown to actually like him more. I don’t get why he wants or needs two girlfriends when he clearly loves her.

[ragequeen]

I can tell right now that this is never going to work. Polyamorous relationships only work when everyone is 100% into it. It also sucks that you didn`t help choose who the third party was. That can make things difficult because usually, something like that is a group decision. Polyamorous relationships are often (not always) jealous-free because there is no point in having more partners if you get easily jealous. Everyone shares the same mindset that they want to share each other, and it seems like you are not the sharing type at all. Also, more often than not, men with multiple girlfriends have a favorite. This is usually the first girlfriend he was with. The other women mean a lot to him too, but it`s more of an affectionate kind of care. Someone to be with when he feels lonely. So this is something you have to accept as well. You will be number 2 in most situations. Remember she was there first. If you can`t accept that, run.

[MissDawn7961]

dump him for you deserve better then this looser and find yourself a better man

[ItsTheNephilim]

Probably just for an extra pussy.