How to tell if I like him platonically or romantically?

[Anonymous]

Maybe this sounds a bit weird and confused but I’m struggling to differentiate between platonic and romantic feelings for a my friends with benefits. Now unlike a lot of friends with benefits relationships we’re not just hooking up we’re genuinely very good friends and do things outside just hookups, however I’m struggling to fathom out my feelings. I literally love this guy and spending time with him but I can’t decide whether he’s just my absolute best friend or there’s something romantic there. Of course we’re attracted to each other that’s why we’re friends with benefits but how do I know if the love I feel towards him is simply platonic?

[btbc92]

Let me just tell you something: If you are having premarital sex if you're having friends with benefits. I have news for you. Platonic and romance have nothing to do with it. It is just SEX. Repeat. It is just SEX. What you have are hormones and sexual attachment. And your attaching because of the sex and you like the sex. Period. What's worse your shaping your sexuality to not accept love nor would never know what love is, because of that attachment. It's not that you attracted to each other. It's because you are using each other sexually. Once you in the realm, you stuck unless you get out of that by leaving that person. You don't even know what a friend or love is. Because a friend doesn't do that, and love is NOT THAT. What you do need to do is distinguish fantasy from reality. And the reality is, this is in no way a good start to a healthy relationship. NONE. If you're looking for a friend, find a better one. You're also looking for love, this is not how you get it. If they wanted to provide you love they wouldn't have sex with you. Period. They would want to establish something and make it known ahead of time. As long as your okay with the sex, and giving it they do not see the need unless they ALWAYS WANTED THAT. But by then they would tell you and start taking you out, etc. That ain't happening. It's sex.

If this is how you view sex, friendships, relationships, and love, it's backward. Again, as long as you are not upset about not having a relationship before having sex, he will do whatever it means as long as you and he are getting what you want sexually. That's all. This is not a question of how can you tell. The question is, where is your brian psychologically? No offense. Because it's clear as day this isn't smart. I can tell you what I need to tell you, and I did. But the rest is up to you and between you and him.

But there is nothing platonic or romantic about that. Just sexual attraction.

[MrCommodore]

Regarding how to tell, in your mind if you are you still looking to meet a new partner or SO, then he probably isn't really the one for you.

But if you feel you really love him and are happy with him moving forward, then it's clear you do genuinely see him as your boyfriend/partner.

[boggboss]

I'm not sure anyone can help explain your feelings lol hun