How bad is the silent treatment?

[Anonymous]

I honestly didn't have idea about silent treatment I just left her because she did hurt me in bad Way when i Left her she sent me message I ignored her then she started to post like love songs on her page it was obvious for us... Then qoutes like I wish you back etc.. back ! Really no she's wrong I won't back. Now I have read here n there about silent treatment that its bad how bad ist

[NC12396]

Its not bad, it's worst actually. I have suffered silent treatment from my sister, my female teacher, female colleagues. Due to this I have developed strong hatred for women. It all started in 10th when a female teacher humiliated me in front of whole class very badly. But when I apologize, she barely said anything. She didn't even look at me. This incident made me self conscious, and ashamed to even face her. My friends frequently made fun of me for 2yrs. My academic performance was severly affected by it. When I confessed my feelings to a female colleague, she kept silent. She didn't say anything and just shut the communication. I didn't ask her anything whether to be a girlfriend or not. I was trying to maintain honesty as in other of my friendships. Another random girl when I asked her directions, she just ignored. She didn't said anything. My sister whenever I criticize her ideas, she silently listens and after when I ask her why she isn't replying, she says you don't believe me or trust me. When I know that she is in wrong direction. Another of my colleague, she herself intiated friendship with me and when I replied back, she just saw the message and ignored. No contact ever afterwards. And many more such incidents. All this rejection and ignorant attitude of girls has broken me to the core. Today I can't even go outside due to shameful feeling. I can't even look into eyes of people expecially girls. I even fear to sit near my sister. I can't have a healthy friendship with girls nowdays because most of the time due to fear of rejection, I didn't initiate. Those abandonment by females have destroyed my confidence so much that I feel so much unsafe around them. That silent treatment can destroy your sanity and will confuse you whether it was her mistake or your. It destroys your inner peace of mind. Also when person like me who suffered bullying and abuse at young age, I have failed to accept myself. Today I doubt myself for almost every goal whether I will be able to fulfill it or not. That silence behaviour can literally damage you from inside if you don't know how to move on.

[Asker]

Sorry for what happened with you I know doesn't make big difference but I had to say it.

Have you done anything bad to them that they treat you like that bad

[NC12396]

No I was just polite and highly respectful towards them. Still with so many hatred I still treat them respectfully but they always took in wrong way. From childhood we are given moral values that we should respect women. Don't say any bad words to them. They are kind and sensitive. They suffer a lot. Keeping in mind this view, I was just nice to them. I think the main problem is respecting them. But I am unable to disrespect them - it isn't in my nature.
However thank you so much that you responded to my pain of being constantly abandoned and ignored and rude behavior towards me.

[Asker]

I believe you're good person and you just met bad people. Being kind and good person after all what you have experienced is not that easy that show you're good person. I believe one day everything will be fine with you and you will find girl that loves you.

[worldscolide]

your best bet if she hurt you, is block her. Dont do the silent treatment.

[Asker]

I think blocking her will make her feel better?

[crazyish]

It's akin to physical pain. It actually triggers the same chemical in the brain. My ex used it as a punishment anytime I called him out or brought to light any of his issues. He used to do it a couple days at a time and then it gradually started to become longer. The longest was 15 days. He would always come back and text or call me like none of that ever transpired. It's toxic. Especially when being done knowingly in a relationship. It's better if you just break it off by saying something. After that then it's their problem. It's not your responsibility to try and ease someone else's suffering when you have been upfront about things either.

[ArrowheadSW]

The silent treatment is so damaging. I agree with you that it is so toxic.

[crazyish]

I agree, it's definitely damaging. It's seriously sickening when people knowingly use it.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yeah the feeling of talking to someone and they willfully ignore you. They do it because it works and it makes the other person feel bad. Total deal breaker for me. If I am dating someone and she uses that I would probably explain all of one time how bad it is.

Having to step back and take a break is another thing. At least the person says something like "Let's not talk right now", and it's like re-grouping, and could even be healthy. The silent treatment is different altogether.

[crazyish]

Yep makes the person feel as if they did something wrong. They do it purposely because they are the ones who've done wrong. I'm to that point finally of only explaining it once and then it's adios as well. I forgive myself for putting up with it for so long, it was a well lesson learned that's for sure.

[ArrowheadSW]

And just being ignored in general when trying to talk to someone is annoying, even if it isn't someone who you are dating. Like you try to talk to the person and they don't acknowledge that you are talking to them or they don't say anything and walk away. It is like you aren't worth their time to talk to or whatever they are thinking. It is just so inconsiderate. And of course the "silent treatment" is even far worse.

[crazyish]

Agreed. It's actually very sad. But people won't ever realize how it feels until they go through it tho.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

I don't play that game.
We're either going to talk about it, or we're not, & if we're not, we are moving on.
I don't harbor things, it leads to explosions of emotions in a negative way & is toxic. If he wants to give me the silent treatment, it shows me how immature he is & that the relationship isn't going to work, so I end it then & there.
Communication is key to a successful, healthy relationship, if you don't want to communicate, it isn't going to work.

But you're claiming that you won't be back with her, so don't worry about it & start moving on.

[Asker]

I'm thinking to block her I think it's better

[Dazed0N0Confused]

It sounds like a good call if she's acting like this

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Silent treatment is a really passive aggressive tactic of trying to get the upper hand on someone. It's not taking a break to cool it down, it's literally pretending that person doesn't exists as to make them feel worthless and even more desperate in reaching to you.

[VianneRoscher]

If you reply positively, then the person will know you're good to them. If you reply negatively, then the person will know you're angry at them. But if you keep silent, they will go crazy. They wouldn't know what's going on in your head. They wouldn't know what to expect. Uncertainty drives one insane.

[UnlovedWife]

It’s actually abuse. I’ve been on the receiving end and it’s torture. When I told him how it impacted me, he did it for longer and more regularly. Then I started acting like I wasn’t phased by it and it stopped.

[Asker]

I think in my case it's self protection. However to not fall in dark and to not be a bad person which I don't really like it I just blocked her.

I believe doing something bad to people have bad effect on our soul our minds and heart I don't want to lose kindness for her it's not worth it I blocked her. I know with time how regret she will be. I blocked her I'm done

Thanks for opinion

[ashley_85]

I think that the silent treatment is one of the worst forms of punishment and abuse that you can put upon another person especially if you do it without letting that person know the reason for it.

[Asker]

I had to stop it , it was painful for her I believe she cried but she just couldn't say it

[milkcry]

it’s rude. you should always communicate your feelings with your partner! whether friendship or romantic. it’s the worst feeling ever to be ignored and not know what you did wrong

[Asker]

And then when you share it with the partner... That partner have been broken so many times by someone else and if I share My feeling she will act fun and won a game. Breaking people hearts is not fun game it has bad thing. In my case silent treatment is also self protection because i know if I just take step backward she will try to hurt me that's how bad is she

[kamalravi25]

What was your motive behind your silent treatment. That she would realize her mistake.

And look what you have achieved. Loneliness

Please don't call it any treatment.
It is wrong and will always be wrong.

[Asker]

I didn't want to write why I reached that point but if someone asks I will answer. She knows my mother have cancer and I have tough time so I said I will wait you until you about an hour until you finish work I thought she will say that's sweet but she said oh you know I have gym class I didn't want to go out with her just seeing her , before that it was her coffee and the mall. The way she answered me it was like making fun of me. If she said I understand you want to see me but please just make it in other day , rather than that she did make fun it was wrong very wrong from her

No one reach silent point without reason I was kind and I'm still kind. But I will not say a letter to her no matter what.

[kamalravi25]

If she wants you back just because she feels lonely then its wrong.

If she really loves you then she will realise her mistake and she will come back to you.

[Asker]

It doesn't make difference I don't want her in my life. Keeping silence no matter what

[Coulis]

It's bad. You swirl in the vortex of self-doubt and uncertainty. It's very manipulative and is meant to leave a person in a vacuum. It's cruel.

[whatdoyouwantt]

Why do you check on her, she will heal after time. Just break up if it isn’t the right relationship for you

[SandandWaves]

I had it done to me, my dad told me that he shouldn't do that

[admles]

It is emotional abuse, and there is NO excuse for it, and zero tolerance.

[Asker]

If someone has terrible sins isn't fair for them to suffer?

[admles]

and what exactly does that achieve?

[Asker]

Justice and peace

[sheikalana]

Is passive aggressive.

[SuicidalDriver]

It's peaceful 😂😂😂😂

[DrakeJoe]

Silent treatment hurts and irritates very much.

[Iron_Man]

It’s a good discipline

[Anonymous]

Time for relaxing and enjoying the silence.

[Asker]

I agree with that