When your boyfriend or girlfriend is upset with you and they stop all forms of communication and give you the silent treatment. How does this make you feel and what do you do about it?
The silent treatment: how does it make you feel and what do you do about it?
Oh, the best way to deal with a girl giving you the silent treatment is to stay calm, ask her if that's what she's doing and tell her you respect her decision and stop talking to her unless not doing so would only be petty. For example, is she asks you where the keys are, tell her where they are but don't engage the conversation any further.
This will drive her crazy because you're using her childishness against her in a way that she is totally in control of. It very quickly becomes self defeating.
It's infuriatingly mature and if you want to get a little cheeky with it, when you do need to talk to her you should start the sentence with "I don't know if you're ready to talk yet, but"
This has worked on everyone who's done the silent treatment to me. Usually they'll eventually realize how stupid it is not to talk out your problems.
@IMuser oh haha that depends. First of all, you should never block a girl out of spite in my opinion, it's just childish. I guess if you want to apply this logic to that, you could act like you didn't even notice.
Honestly, don't let woman play those games with you. They're very good at doing these childish things and then you have to go down to that level in order to continue, little do you know it was just bait the whole time to make everything seem like it was your fault.
The best answer is almost always to be a man and not play childish games. If that's what type of shit she's on, move along. They'll never admit it but unless she's crazy, she knows what she's doing. If your actions communicate "I don't play games" they'll respect you more.
You don't want the people who don't respond well to this too. Those are the manipulative ones who are never wrong.
This just hit a nerve. I had the exact same experience (it was a long distance relationship where i was blocked a lot. Heck i can't even call it a relationship) and after the supposed breakup, it took me a while to block her, not because of revenge but because of disgust at her
I would like to know what is the appropriate response to these childish games (except leaving them with a fuck you on their face)? How is the "man" supposed to act? Direct confrontation (woman, if you ever did this again, i will make it sure that you will never be able to contact me again) or something else?
@IMuser some people will disagree with me, and this isn't to hate on woman, I'm sure there's plenty of things men do too, but woman can be extremely unreasonable and emotional sometimes.
As a man, you need to be mentally disciplined enough to be ready for this. Sometimes you need to just let the situation play its course, sometimes you really are doing something and not playing the game doesn't necessarily mean you're not doing anything wrong either.
But it should be established that the way to get what you want is to have a RESPECTFUL conversation.
And when she gets all mad that you're not upset, say that to her. TAKE CONTROL of the situation and LEAD it in a direction of mutual respect and problem solving.
But you cannot show respect for unreasonable games every time. And also, pick your battles. Sometimes it makes her feel good to just let her win. Especially if it's over something silly.
Knowing when to let go is part of being a man too.
Sorry that happened to you buddy, but at least you know what it looks like now so you can avoid it in the future.
That can be considered emotional abuse because they are doing it to manipulate, control, and "punish" their partner. It is immature and you should not be in a relationship with someone who does this.
I had an ex-partner who did this, and I had no idea why because I didn't do anything wrong... I felt confused because I was being left in the dark and punished for something he apparently thought was wrong. At the time, I just accepted it and didn't try to argue... But retrospectively speaking, I would've broken up and blocked them.
I sometimes do this but i don't mean no harm. It is just my default mechanism to cope up with my overwhelming emotions. I really don't want to do it but sometimes withdrawal gives me some time to cool off. I really wish I wasn't like this but i am trying to change.
@awkwardddgirl I think you should tell them that you need as few minutes to calm down, donāt just ignore them. Being open and communicate your needs, as well as your feelings is a good way to maintain a healthy relationship. If you are overwhelmed by emotions, let that be known to your partner.
yeah i did it back because i just stayed quit until he spoke to me first we both did it tobeach other at the same time but i was mostly did to me and i became emotiomal aswel nd started saying a canny take this ure pure giving me silent treatment for a stupid argument you started
If a woman gives you the silent treatment YOU must have done something to hurt her and she is speechless. If you disrespect her in any way, like cheating in some fashion, what do you want her to say? Oh, it's ok baby. Whenever you hurt me, I will just suck it up and keep talking to you like nothing happened. Get real. You deserve the silent treatment for messing up.
One day my husband and I were at the swimming pool and he knew I don't know how to swim. So, he threw me into the deep end and he had to rescue me because I didn't know how to get to the top. I got chlorinated water in my nose and throat which made me sick. I gave him the silent treatment for doing that to me. Does that deserve the silent treatment?
Wow why the hell would he do such a thing! Knowing you canāt swim, I would have been pissed and left his ass. Yeap we would not be talking with him knowing that.
It helps if you know your partner's weaknesses. When my g/f does that to me (Which isn't often) I will blow raspberries on her neck, or pick her up and tickle her and not put her down until she laughs. Of course, that only works after she's calmed down so knowing when to do the above is key. The other side of the coin though, when I'm mad at her I will go to the punch bag or treadmill/weights bench and work out. Her way of making me feel better is kind of X rated so I can't elaborate, but instead will leave that up to the imagination. :D
My girlfriend never gives me silent treatment. It's the best thing about our relationship. If we are upset with each other, we fight until we find a solution or middle ground. In 2 years of our relationship, we have never left a fight until we resolve the issue. We keep talking and making our points. We tell each other how we felt about the particular thing that bothered us and try to understand each other's point of views. Most of the times, we both admit our mistakes where we were wrong! And we have a lot of differences. I am more logical and she is more emotional. But the communication always saves our relationship!
It is really a damaging thing to do. All it does is make the other person feel terrible because they are being ignored and can't resolve whatever the issue is. And it is a childish thing to do also.
This is different than "taking time out". Taking time out is like a simmering down process to let the issue ride a bit so you can discuss it later when you are calmer. Or maybe one or both partners are too tired to discuss it at the moment, etc.
There were a couple of women who I dated in the past who used the silent treatment. It is a dealbreaker for me. I will not date a woman who uses this to any great degree.
Plus, they expect you to be a mind reader or something? They are acting that way and half the time you don't even know what it is about.
I give it right back to them not only so she can have time to cool off, but also so that she can't think she can just try to talk sweet again when she wants to, which often means they want or need something from you but aren't going to apologize or acknowledge the situation. I don't make it easy for any woman to treat me that way, no matter what she's upset with me about.
Believe it or not, giving your partner the silent treatment back makes them feel foolish for being so upset like that. It's a form of No Contact but in an actual relationship.
I'm not in an exclusive relationship, so this question is not really for me. However, let me tell a story that happened about 3 years (pre-covid) ago. I was seeing a friends with benefits and she got a bit intense when I refused to go with her to Hawaii. Stopped contacting me. I let it go and went on with my life. Several months later I was shopping in a local Target store and saw her sitting in the Starbucks there. I smiled as I passed and she just looked at me. I was looking through some men's care products when I noticed her standing close to me. I looked up and smiled again. She wanted to know if I was interested in starting back up again? I shook my head and said NO! I reminded her of this song!
If someone I knew gave me silent treatment, I would just keep trying to get them to respond. And I would try talking to them every day, until one day (when least expected) I just stop and then I turn the finger and give them the silent treatment. Because then they may wonder why I stopped talking to them and they may give in, and try talking to me. It's like a trick sort of. But I just do this when I feel tired of waiting for them to talk to me, so I make them wait... and they may get confused, worried, or even shocked. I don't know. Just a thing I do when people irritate me by giving me the silent treatment.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I think itās pretty messed up. And Iām someone who used to do this in my teens. But then I realized it was hurtful to the other person so I stopped doing it. I do still talk less when Iām hurt or upset though. But I donāt shut out communication like I used to. Once this happens then my man knows heās hurt, offended, or upset me in some way and heāll try his best to make me feel better. Usually heāll try by making me laugh. This would never work if I gave him the silent treatment. A person canāt do much if youāre not speaking or acknowledging them. And you end up hurting the other person more by shutting them out when all theyāre trying to do it fix the problem.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
It depends on why Iām receiving the silent treatment from that him. If we both got into an argument, it makes me feel relieved that I have time to reflect and cool off for both of us. The silent treatment in my opinion shouldnāt last more than a day or two. After a while, if he doesnāt reach out to me, Iāll give him the silent treatment back also in return. Iām passive aggressive anyways but Iām also very honest and understanding. If he ignores me long enough, Iāll lose interest in him altogether and see him as āemotionally immatureā and if he does text me back, Iāll most likely ghost him
I hate is as im more letd talk n fix it I find this very immature n maybe abise as some say But the thing is my mother is this way, she isbt a horrible person but its her way of functioning I usually argue w her when she is like that SaIng her reaaonable shit N explaning how her behavior is wrong n force her to say something I flip out on it too For anyone else acting that way they r dead to me bye
Silent, and 🦇 💩 Crazy Woman IS Different from: āitās 👄 💋 🍆 Nightā¦I was checking out your Money 💰 and thereās still 2050.00 in thereā¦ The good ole dayz (Nights) 2400 gone in a month snap and running 🏃āāļø to the Bank, Silent Treatment. WHAT HORMONAL THING are you talking about āļø 🤢
I hate the silent treatment. It makes me feel like Iām being punished in some sort of way. Especially when Iāve not really done anything wrong to warrant it. The guy Iām currently seeing told me he hated the silent treatment when we first got together because his ex used to do it to him if they had an argument. But he does it to me if I do something that pisses him off. For example, a few weeks back I didnāt phone him up over the weekend (he didnāt call me either) but we was constantly messaging 24/7. On the Sunday morning out of the blue he got pissed off with me for it and I kept apologising. He wasnāt really responsive to me and was taking ages to reply to my messages. It made me feel like shit especially because it was such an overreaction for something so small.
If they give me the silent treatment for too long I might forget they exist XD
Legit though I can easily get lost in something for days on end so I might not even notice
If it's not too emotionally damaging I can usually get it out of my head relatively quickly and then maybe never think about it for like several years and then one day it might pop back in my head
It's mostly women who give the silent treatment because of their reliance on indirect non verbal communication. It used to really bother me at first. But now I have learnt. If she is not mature to communicate, then she's not mature to be in a relationship with me.
I see a lack of emotional maturity. The silent treatment to humans shows the same response it does in infants of emotional disconnect and neglect of emotional well being. It is a cold calculated way to have get back and is not relationship healthy. Strategic compromise and open floor discussion is the healthy and mature thing to do when problems happen.
my partner doesnāt behave like this thank God. whenever somethingās wrong we always manage to sort things out in a mature manner. I usually lose respect for people who act this way I think is so childish and passive aggressive how come someone rather be mad than sort things out. at this age if someone gave me silent treatment I would just leave them on mute forever I do not tolerate this kind of behavior anymore.
I did this to a few girls online and one girl I used to hang out with, in real life well she would talk about other guys to make me jealous, I liked her but she only liked me as a friend no more and yes both times it upset me and I'm a shame of myself
It would make me think we are not right for each other. It's immature way to handle problems. I want clear communication. "I need some time alone to think" would be enough and respectful.
The silent treatment is basically abuse. Early in our relationship I advised my wife that if she shut down lines of communication that way, using the silent treatment, it would result in immediate divorce and kicking her out.
I have zero tolerance for idiotic manipulative abusive games like that.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I'll more than likely end a relationship over this. There is a difference between taking a moment to cool down and silent treatment. Silent treatment is just manipulation and does nothing to resolve the problem. If a woman is too immature to face a problem then she is too immature for a relationship. Again, it is more than ok to take a few minutes to cool down, but the entire day should not pass without discussion.
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