Why Do Some People Put So Much Importance On "Popularity"?

Question

doopayo · Accepted Answer

I agree. I’m in high school right now, but I haven’t had the chance to go in person yet because of Covid and everything so I’ll share my experience in middle school when I was actually in person.

I was never popular at my school, and I did “care” about being popular around 6th grade but luckily that soon ended very shortly after me meeting my best friends and luckily forming a personality that was outside of popular trends. During 6th grade a lot of stuff happened to me so my personality really changed, for what I see as the better even though it took a while for me to come to terms with that.

In my first year of middle school, I was targeted by the “queen bee” (basically whatever the most popular girl in school is) and she was popular mainly because she got into a lot of trouble (OSS/ISS) for disrespecting teachers and students. She began targeting me because this other popular girl at my school for whatever reason had a grudge against me and took her time to photoshop a dm I sent in a school gc on snap and edited it to make it look like I said I wanted to fight the most popular girl.

(at the time I didn’t have my growth spurt yet so I was around 4”10 and quit skinny at around 90lbs where as on the other hand the most popular girl was really tall for a 6th grader. Most of the middle schoolers still looked like elementary schoolers, but she could definitely pass for one of the 8th graders. ) so since she had 2 of my academics and I shared most of my connections classes (connection classes are basically: gym, orchestra, art, etc) I had to deal with her saying stuff to me all the time and I’d ignore her but obviously give her a dirty look because of being so tired of her bs.

Towards the middle of the school year, she actually apologize after a rumor spread in school about her being scared of me (supposedly because of how scary my glares where) which, I’m guessing makes a little sense since i get told I have a scary annoyed bitch face. And I’ve dealt with more popular girls like that but talking about it would be a whole story time, so I won’t. But the person I honestly still dislike till this day isn’t the girl that got mad at me and wanted to fight me. It was the girl that started it all, just because she was bored and wanted to start drama. I hate the type of popular girls that just do stuff to start drama, genuinely disgusting people, I’ve never had good conversations with any girls like this. They’re extremely two faced, usually rich or upper middle classed so they have that ignorance and extra bitchyness that comes from that privilege.

crazyish · Accepted Answer

There are many reasons. They like the attention. They feel worthless. They are shallow. They want to be special. They feel as if it will give them a higher status. They want to be liked. Or they just want to be included and accepted.

Being popular isn't a bad thing. It's what they want, there is nothing wrong with that. More power to em. Let them figure out on their own that it's not what it's cracked up to be. They would never know if it was or wasn't for them if they don't try.

For me personally, I don't aspire to be popular. Just noticed enough to bring the right kind of people my way.

Bluemax · Accepted Answer

Something that is going overlooked in the responses.

We may very well be attention seeking/approval seeking/validation seeking creatures because it has been instilled as a drive in us through evolution.

It's not just humans who seek popularity. Other trooping primates do so as well. They kill to get it, sometimes. Why is that? Is it because they've bought into messages sent in their movies and other media? Has their culture just invented this love of popularity?

I doubt it. More likely the explanation is that it's a survival tactic. Popular primates have more resources to draw upon than others. More primates will groom them. More primates will care for them if they're sick and injured. They will have a wider selection of mates to pass on their genes. Etc. Because of this, a drive to be popular amongst one's troop has been instilled in primates' lineage. Those that sought it, survived better and had more offspring. Those that didn't seek it, didn't.

Why should humans be any different from virtually all other primates? We're not.

A drive to be popular is quite likely an instinct in all of us driven through and strengthened by millions of years of human evolution. Including, in all likelihood, many of those who are loudly proclaiming how they don't wish to be popular. Would they *really* feel that way if they were *actually* at the apex of popularity (yes, a reference to the Broadway Mean Girls... since you included a Mean Girls meme here)?
I'm frankly surprised no one has touched on this, at least as of the time I'm writing this response.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

Because we as humans are social creatures. We thrive off connection, shared values and perceptions of the world around us and surviving with pack mentality.

To be a part of the "pack" you need to follow the trends, share the majority of morals and be likable/liked. That gives the individuals social proof and demonstrates value to others around them. People want to be loved, respected, acknowledged and accepted. Being popular puts you in the spotlight and gives one that validation and gives them that sense of being "I'm here. I am loved. I am happy and enjoy this."

Being popular comes with a wave of power and influence which people like (some more than others which is a whole different can of worms.) To put it simply, I think it stems from a subconscious need and desire as humans to have what I stated above. If you don't seek it, you are viewed as lesser and not worth the time because you are not at their level and that makes you and outsider and low value. The drawback to this is that conforming to everything to be popular, you sacrifice your individuality and uniqueness. I prefer those that don't seek to be popular because I find them more authentic regardless of their personality and attitude.

Authenticity will ways win over another cardboard cut out.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I know a very good looking guy who used to have an amazing career and many high status friends and when he got sick both his wife and friends and a lot of his family dropped him, he is now married to his new wife and only talks to one of his brothers regularly and has a few friends out of the many he used to have and he cares for his parents when he can. Popularity is not real - those people do not actually love each other.

Lliam · Answer

It feels good to be liked, appreciated, respected, even admired, but only if it's for good reasons.

It's nice to have friends.
It's a;so great to be held in high regard by people I admire and have great respect for.

I have to say that I feel on top of the world when an audience applauds my music and people come up later to say how much they enjoyed it. It's not about being popular, though. It's more about feeling that I did something well. Not that I play much these days.

But I'm not concerned about winning popularity contests. I don't dress to impress. I have no desire to seek affirmation on social media for superficial stuff like looks. I don't measure my popularity by numbers of followers.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

A lot of people see being popular as the only way to attract the person they desire most. In fact, popularity is more of a turn off; it blocks your main interest from being able to get close.

I personally do not try to be popular, bur rather friendly, and honest. Because I am friendly, many may see me as popular, but I will never hang out with a large group, and be the center of attention. Because of that, I have those of interest who will approach me, as they see me as approachable.

Being popular is not everything people make it to be!!!

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly the popular kids don't really have any real true friends , They ither talk behind their friends back , Competition who wears the best clothes who dresses well who has the hottest boyfriend. Once the popular kid graduates high school they're history that's it. I remember this one girl her name was Britney Evely she was cheer captain only because her mom was one of the principals and her dad was a very important guy he own Petroleum Company , Yeah every guy wish to date her. I was never interested in the whole being popular thing. As long as I had real friends and accept me for who I am , I was great full.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Attention seeking to hide their insecurity.

then when they are in the popularity spotlight, they become addicted to it, and keep trying to remain their.

the fall is often fatal for some, as can be seen by all the Celebs that unfortunately take their own lives or end up in rehab after major addiction issues.

TurboKid · Answer

That's actually practical. I've gotten so much through popularity like free dinners at an oyster bar which would have otherwise cost me $2000+ USD, VIP for free in clubs of which I must have used over $10k, free drinks, free food, job offers, etc. Popularity is very useful, like money. Both are superficial but they're useful.

GC4877 · Answer

No idea but I guess it means nothing because they are the ones with the most issues. For example if your just normal you have a stable group of friends and a normal life but when popular they are so toxic with friends and always worry about what they do and look like. So as you could probably tell I don't like the idea of schools having a social hierarchy but its just a bunch of rich kids who look down on everyone else.

Massageman · Answer

When you find out, let me know!

Perhaps our society has fallen so far away from basic values of self, family, self-independence, critical thinking, industriousness, etc. that most people are now just mindless oafs/lemmings/sheeple who need SOME sort- ANY sort- of "recognition" to think that they are popular or accepted in our increasingly superficially-thinking society. But, that's just a wild guess - - - - - - - narrfff.

rievious · Answer

I think its bc they think it will get them somewhere. I mean look at the presidency. They go on campaign to get as many people to vote aka like them so they can a really good job. Money and power. They're greedy. I don't care about popularity I'm here to share my honest opinion.

Anonymous · Answer

I think people WANT to be popular because they like attention. They love attention and approval from others. I'm a singer so I'm not trying to brag but I'm a little popular. And I don't really seek attention from others even though I get it and I would totally be OKAY with no attention and no popularity at all. But the wanna bes just love the attention.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm mostly happy to have good friends by my side, I could less if I was popular. I think it just has to do with insecurity maybe and feeling like they aren't good enough so they need to be popular and have all the attention on them in order to feel validated.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

Actually that is easy,

When you were a kid it was to make friends.
As an adult it is for a partner, promotion, job, help from, coworkers to do your job. Best spots when you go somewhere, e. g best table in place, or no waiting list. When your popular as an adult people just do stuff for you. You dont have to be the dude thst wears the best clothes or items to be popular at work. You can be charming, be helpful to your co-workers, courteous, donuts.

I can keep going, not everything is vanity or selfish related. Even being popular can help me with honeybees.

friendzoned4life · Answer

For those People it is all they have.

When they are like that in highschool or even earlier they most Likely end up as lonely miserable drug addicts.

Or they end up working for the guy/girl that got bullied by these "populair kids"

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

Drama, attention seeking, keeping up with the Joneses, various things but definitely not for me I'm no material girl either you like what you see or don't bother me plan & simple ✌️

legalboxers · Answer

to them, "popularity" means they know what they are doing, they are in control, and good role models. And being "popular" is something which they equate to be someone or something to look up to, even if its a cult.

Downrate in 3..2..1 AND GO!

Jjpayne · Answer

Because it helps you to feel better. To feel important and significant, to feel appreciated. Something like that 🤔

michael1469 · Answer

I am popular with all my friends.

Abraham Lincoln on the $5 bill, Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill,
Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill, Ulysses S. Grant on the $50 bill, and
Benjamin Franklin on the $100 bill.
re-state://background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

RolandCuthbert · Answer

Well, when you were young, wasn't it important to you? It was too me. I kept thinking about how cool it would be. Then when I got older, I could care less.

Anonymous · Answer

Because certain individuals do not grow out of their high school mentality. I worked with females around their late 30s who behaved like teenagers gone wild, and also bullied. Even the sweetest one outta the group turned into a "mean girl" because she didn't want to be left out. Like seriously? I was mind blown with that confession.

JamieLoves · Answer

Because, they have very low IQ’s and do work or will work at McDonald’s.. I’m so pretty and popular!

fonduegirl · Answer

Because self concepts are partially formed in children based on what other people think of them.

It gives them a good buzz. An ego booster.

With time passage, one needs to learn not to seek approval for that particular buzz.

IAMNathanael · Answer

"Monkey see, monkey do" I guess. Like if everyones doing it then it must be important... bur I don't always agree with that.

Leavesbound · Answer

I would only ever need one person to like me and that would be my S. O. I truly don't care what anyone else thinks.

JackSmy · Answer

They have no heart, or SOUL, and don't know WHO they are, and they need others to VALIDATE their existence!!

KatherineJ · Answer

Honestly, the less people pay attention to me, the better. Unless it’s for the right reasons, like; 1) They think I’m smart 2) They think I’m awesome  3) They think I’m funny

NeverHadASister · Answer

You are judged by those you choose to surroubd yourself. If is reassuring that you are attractive and liked.

They say that $75,000 is the most money you czn earn to gain the most happiness that money can give. If you want to increase your happiness after that, only friends and family can help. I have known plrnty of wealthy people, but it is definitely no guarantee of happiness. In fact, I do not believe that thd level of hsppiness through income alone, is not parti ularly high.

loves2learn · Answer

I hate popularity contests. They have always disgusted me.

Tunasub · Answer

Popularity don't mean shit... look at it this way.. being popular can not even guarantee you being the most powerful man in the free world... Extrapolate that shit.

Supernormal · Answer

There is also a scale of preference to this, some get addicted to certain trends and want be part of it renownedly. To other kinds of people its a waste of time.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Who doesn't like popularity or a bit of attention. Depends probably on how ambitious a person is to achieve something that they find worth for themselves

DaveToo · Answer

Everyone would like to be popular. Some work very hard at not being who they truly are, just to be popular. These folks are searching for acceptance that they are lacking in their lives.

devilish-cutie · Answer

Its a social status thing, u feel like everyone loves u n u have connwctions n ur like celebrity

exitseven · Answer

Everyone wants to be popular because popular people get invited to all the good parties and always have boyfriend/girlfriend. They have all the fun.

TodsShadow · Answer

In my opinion, that’s how it always has been. Thousands of years ago we didn’t have movies we had storytelling. Many led a rich and well traveled life being a storyteller then because they got to tell tales of hope, justice, revenge, you name it. The stars then were the royals, high commanding units and probably the church. Having people to look up too has always helped humans grow and evolve. It stands till this very day. We need Heros and villains in our life wether to imitate or teach valuable lessons. Now today it’s a little more diluted. People are still as easy to deceive so often times our hero’s are just villains with a PR team.

Joey_007 · Answer

I've never cared for it but at the same time I won't lie to you and say I don't care what people think of me I do (to a degree and anyone who says otherwise I'm confident is a liar) so naturally I can understand the appeal of being known and liked by other people.

slatyb · Answer

Many people derive their self-esteem externally -- a score in a game, money in the bank, approval from others. You'll see this in every human activity. There are people who are happy to just enjoy it, and others who keep score, whether it's wealth, athletic skill, Facebook likes, whatever.

Wiredone · Answer

I don't need to be popular, nor do I try. I just want to get through life and leave something for my kids to remember me by.

NamerOfStars · Answer

Because it's the easiest form of status to attain, and status-seeking is hardwired into our genetics. Look at Mustard.

Siren777 · Answer

People were raised to be this way. In a way brainwashed and it becomes a pattern until you free your mind. It's all in what we watch and what we are conditioned to.

Pogi-Paddy-2 · Answer

Because they are shallow and usually have a low self esteem.

msc545 · Answer

Popularity means a lot of people like you, or pretend to.

NightHawk99 · Answer

"Insecure men tend to surround themselves with others like them." - Suraya Hawthorne, Destiny 2 It goes the same for women too.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Um, in High School that was a problem. Do you really see that being an issue as an adult?

SirJohn42 · Answer

Have no clue. Never understood it myself. I could care less what others think. If im happy and with the right person it diesnt matter how popular we are. I dont care for being put in any popularity with amyone. Im humble and enjoy tge simple things in life.

007kingifrit · Answer

cuz they're stupid, and don't realize other people are stupid and therefore their opinions don't matter

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Hubris, Narcissism, low self esteem, materialistic, seeking validation. It happens in high school. In fact, we have a political party that emphasizes a lot on it. The Hollywood crowd. The Democrat party.

Shihab91 · Answer

🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️ no idea honestly i never followed any popular person on social media...

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

In younger people, fucking the most popular girl or guy is something most aim for. Why? Media, Advertisements, and nowadays, social-the-fuck-media! Once they become wiser, they seek for qualities in the opposite sex.

anylolone · Answer

Gregarious animals care a lot about what other gregarious animals think.

Jaylaaa2000 · Answer

We all have different things we value. This is what they value

Omar5881 · Answer

Because it makes you feel wanted and appraised and really helpful when you need help i tasted popularity once but honestly i am too blunt and honest and i give absolutely zero fucks about other people

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are insecure. They are afraid if they don’t follow the crowd they will look uncool

OddBeMe · Answer

Funny, junior high/high schoolers go in like ghosts, trying not to be singled out. But being popular is their objective. Maybe because it’s so different?

Andres77 · Answer

Because everyone wants to be loved... shallow people think that popularity is enough. That's a very simplified theory.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I agree with you on this one, Popularity doesn't matter to me, I just want a woman who loves being herself

Caliguy88 · Answer

I did in HS and regret it. I was cool though. Had to maintain that. Lol, stupid.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Makes no sense being popular would annoy me cause then I can't speak my mind

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Because we don’t all possess the brains and beauty that you do. Some of still need other people to get ahead in life

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why some aliens put so much importance on popularity.

Why Do Some People Put So Much Importance On "Popularity"?

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Why Do Some People Put So Much Importance On "Popularity"?

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