married for 2 years and have one daughter together. my husband and I have a very toxic relationship. I have horrible toxic traits as well where I have said some horrible things to him in the past and it has hurt him. some examples are: telling our newborn daughter that her father is a p*ssy during a fight, questioning his manliness and etc.
I am ashamed about these moments. These past few months I have really worked hard on trying to change in order to be a better person and ultimately a better wife to my husband and safe to say there has been progress.
Today I had a slight slip up. We both woke up kind of cranky with one another and he was working from home today. When I was about to feed my daughter milk I was about to use the chair he was using previously to sit on and feed her. When he saw me approaching the chair he ran to it and out of annoyance I said " wow daddy does not want you to drink milk."
This really upset him bc a) I have a history of saying these things to my daughter about him and b) when she is older she will understand these things and think wrong of her father. I realized my mistake and apologized. He is still angry and does not want to talk to me and tells me I have a character flaw and this happened in the morning. Now he will not talk to me for days.
But here is the thing he is not perfect. he has also been abusive in our relationship where he has called me horrible names and where he has yelled at me. He gets annoyed at me very easily and when I call him out on it, he makes me feel as if I am being the jerk. When he wants to solve a problem he will corner me and not let me leave. When I bring up something that is bothering me, he does not acknowledge it. Rather he gets upset/angry and has me questioning my feelings and my memory. How can I go about this? If he does not want to accept my apology, how do I stop groveling. I want to keep my respect and dignity.
I am ashamed about these moments. These past few months I have really worked hard on trying to change in order to be a better person and ultimately a better wife to my husband and safe to say there has been progress.
Today I had a slight slip up. We both woke up kind of cranky with one another and he was working from home today. When I was about to feed my daughter milk I was about to use the chair he was using previously to sit on and feed her. When he saw me approaching the chair he ran to it and out of annoyance I said " wow daddy does not want you to drink milk."
This really upset him bc a) I have a history of saying these things to my daughter about him and b) when she is older she will understand these things and think wrong of her father. I realized my mistake and apologized. He is still angry and does not want to talk to me and tells me I have a character flaw and this happened in the morning. Now he will not talk to me for days.
But here is the thing he is not perfect. he has also been abusive in our relationship where he has called me horrible names and where he has yelled at me. He gets annoyed at me very easily and when I call him out on it, he makes me feel as if I am being the jerk. When he wants to solve a problem he will corner me and not let me leave. When I bring up something that is bothering me, he does not acknowledge it. Rather he gets upset/angry and has me questioning my feelings and my memory. How can I go about this? If he does not want to accept my apology, how do I stop groveling. I want to keep my respect and dignity.
