Generally speaking, do you think people in relationships are quick to quit when things get tough?

Question

We all know that being in a relationship with another human being can provide for some challenging moments.

Human beings are not perfect by any means, rather, can be complex in numerous ways.

It's not reasonable to always expect amicable interactions with human beings, especially those who are close to us such as friends and family.

From what I've seen, it seems like people in relationships, when things are comfortable and stable are rather pleasant, loving, loyal, etc.

BUT

I believe that these aren't the moments when such qualities are most in need.

It's when things get tough, uncomfortable, and challenging is when durable and resilient men and women are needed.

I've heard of women wondering if they should stay with their man because he yelled at them or he got angry from something and that scared them.

Everyone can be great human beings when things are peaceful and comfortable.

But how about when things are not peaceful and uncomfortable?

Do people still try to keep the relationship alive? Do people still try to maintain their bearings? Do people quit too soon?

Dragonpurple · Accepted Answer

It depends if someone is married, legally binding vs. another easily broken relationship.

By the time people are married, they really should not give up... barring certain unacceptable behavior, like domestic violence or cheating. Even cheating though, I've seen people work their way through it and move past it.

Never seen anyone move past domestic violence.

I have ancestors who were married for 50, 60 or 70+ years. Did they always get a long great? heck no... but who you are when your young is not the same later and everyone is always changing and evolving. The big key is to evolve and work together. Ironically all of these couples got married very young, with the oldest being 20 and 21 years old... getting married at 15 and 16, or so never seemed to be a big deal back then... like it is nowadays.

Divorce is also not to be ever an option except for the most extreme situations.

I do think currently younger generations are less likely to work out issues. They are less likely to get married in the first place for fear of being stuck or having to get divorced.

Now quick is a definition that really could be a big variable, some people think a year is a super long time... others think 5 years is fairly short to work through issues.

I get that non married couples may call it quits easier than married, not having to do much legally makes that easier and who knows. I'd say most of my nieces and nephews have chosen to not get married yet... even into their late 20's early 30's.

I say younger is better, as people get older they get more set in their ways and more inflexible. Perhaps that is why my ancestors who got married so young lasted so long. Where as others who got married later got divorced because he/she wouldn't change to please them.

Novacane · Accepted Answer

Nowadays I would have to agree that people are quick to quit on relationships compared to how it was in the past. There are some reasons and here are 2 that stand out for me.

1. I would say is how society has changed, nowadays people are not willing to deal with any type of discomfort and are quick to leave if there is any. Society has been pushing that you shouldn't deal with someone if they have different beliefs, values, etc. So the moment that the person doesn't fit your criteria we are quick to leave. People believe that they don't deserve that and deserve better. Don't get me wrong I think that if you are not happy somewhere then, by all means, you have the right to leave, but it got to the point where it's OD.

2. Is social media, nowadays if we are dissatisfied we can instantly get on our phone and see other options. Social Media has destroyed dating in general because it allows us to reach many people in an instant no matter how far. In the past you only had the people around you and if you found one person you wanted to be with usually it was decided that that is your person, and you only see the same people around you so the chances of leaving are low. Today we are able to meet and chat with people from all over, therefore our attention span has changed to always trying to see what new and whats next, this can play in relationships when you are having an issue in a relationship it is easy to have backups of people that you've talked to, and you could reach them in an instant, so people have that leverage nowadays so don't really care if one relationship works because they can jump into another.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Yeah I see this all the time. People like to give up on the relationship instead of trying to fix whatever was wrong.
My dad once explained to me how relationships are like cars. Some people will run out and buy a new car just cause the brakes stopped working, others would rather put their time and energy into fixing the brakes so they can keep the car. So just like in a relationship you could spend the time working on issues or you can give up and get someone new. It all depends on if that person wants to put in the effort to fix the issues.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I know a relationship requires sacrifice but having witnessed many abusive marriages, I think you have to run at the first sign of abuse, most of the married men I know have wives who treat them like trailer trash and if the woman is not abusive, than the man becomes abusive. You cannot change somebody else - you have to quit and move onto greener pastures but I do believe it’s wrong to bolt for other reasons such as the person getting laid off or having poor cooking skills.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Yes, most people can have fun and enjoy a relationship when they are enjoying a trip to Disneyland. An fool can have fun under those circumstances. But will they find a way to have fun when they are grocery shopping on Tuesday night? Will they find a way o resolve their disagreement and go to bed happy with each other on Thursday night?

Sonorous · Answer

Generally speaking, yes. Even though they have skewed views of what will bring it about, nowadays, people date for happiness.

hahahmm · Answer

It's a little more complicated than that. Trying to make a relationship work only makes sense if the relationship & partner are good quality. And this isn't just about the other person but about yourself too. For example you could be a sucky partner at one point in your life but later on you are higher quality. Making a bad relationship last longer is the wrong thing to do. If we grew up in a family where we were taught to make bad relationships last (our parents teaching us by example) then we'll be inclined to do the same. This can be unlearned but it's not something most people figure out early on.

oldasIfeel22 · Answer

The problem is that technology has made it all to easy for people to believe the grass is greener on the other side.

A young attractive woman is usually getting tons of attention on social media. Even if she doesn’t show off her looks there still tons of guys will still follow her. If she gets on a dating she will get 5 to 10 times as many matches as her male counterpart. So it’s all too easy to quickly jump ship given all the temptations out there.

When you got feminism constantly telling women to “follow their emotions” (even when you are just being selfish and conceited) then no wonder relationships end so quickly. Also guys have plenty of temptations given the sexual liberation of women. It’s much easier for a guy to find quick lay (if he’s got game) so he’s getting tempted as well.

Technology and feminism did this.

Not_Average · Answer

Marriage is supposed to be selfless. You’re supposed to be able to go through hardships in which you feel like giving up, but still persist through them because that’s what you do when you love someone. There are cyclical seasons to monogamy. Some seasons carry resentment. Some carry passionate love making. Some carry distrust. Others carry euphoric growth. Love isn’t always convenient and it often hurts like hell. When I hear people say they fell out of love I think that they have absolutely no idea what commitment actually means. Those types are selfish and best to be avoided. You continue on because through all the bullshit because that’s what love should look like. You’ll face these seasons no matter who you choose. So if people want to give up anytime their needs are not satisfied, then they’ll aimlessly jump from relationship to relationship and never give it an opportunity to prune itself. They’ll always be dissatisfied.

exitseven · Answer

A lot of people unfortunately give up at the first sign of trouble, I have been married 25 years and it was not a seamless process. There ware plenty of times I wondered if I should have got married. We had kids right away so I went from being a guy who hung out with his friends all the time to somebody with a wife, a job, a son, and a house that he was responsible for. It was not an easy transition for me.
I know plenty of people who are divorced and I don't think their lives are any better because of it. They just have a different set of problems.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

People? No. Women? Absolutely.

For too long women have been sold this idea that love is easy and magic when the reality is that love is stupid hard work. You will wake up one day and just hate your partner but if you really love them and are committed to them, you’ll take the whole day to mellow out and when you come home from seeing them you’ll probably realize that you didn’t actually hate them and that you miss them. Love isn’t easy, deciding to love someone regardless of their stupid little quirks is ridiculously hard. But because one side of society has been held to no account for what I can only imagine to be a solid two generations and the other side was raised to take all the blame, the side with no accountability just runs when it starts feeling like work.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Depends on the situation.. some quit too soon others dont quit soon enough.. like people dont know what to fight though and what to just accept.. I fight through health issues, money issues id leave if I was treated horribly, abuse, and cheating.. first things have nothing to do with the person.. the last things says everything about the person.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Yes very much yes I believe everyone gives up too easy... but also another problem is people that don’t communicate. Sure his laziness is a problem as is her reluctance to initiate sex... But who’s gonna fix it if nobody communicates their dissatisfaction?

If I don’t like initiating sex all the time and I don’t say something that’s my fault if I tell you and you don’t try to help it’s yours.

DizzyDesii · Answer

For me it depends. You “just know” when a relationship is worth fighting for. After putting in so much effort to the longterm ones, you know if a short term relaitonship is likely to result in a longterm or nothing at all. So if i know, i know. And then i’ll fight to make it work. But if he's barely putting in effort… why should i. Somethings need to be cut off sooner than later

Ninjazzed · Answer

Definitely happens more often now.
Hence why most relationships don’t last nowadays.

My ex was having arguments with his parents because they didn’t approve of me for whatever reason, instead of reasoning with them, he blamed their dislikes on me.

Men these days don’t wanna fix it or be held accountable for anything.

HawkPerception · Answer

Nowadays especially, yes. As soon as there's any little thing someone does that annoys, irritates or infuriates someone, they don't want to associate with that person. It comes from immaturity and expecting people to always be perfect or ideal by your standards. People need to understand that relationships and people aren't perfect. Nothing is. But the more time together and the more you put into understanding one another, the more beautiful the relationship becomes.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

In my experience, and I know this is purely anecdotal, I've seen people hang on to relationship far too long. Relationships that never should have started, or should have ended a long time ago. I've seen massive red flags pop up, or things that would be a deal breaker for me instantly, and yet these two continue on miserably because they are codependent, or one person is terrified of being alone, or doesn't know something better is possible

Browneye57 · Answer

It really depends on their level of commitment, either party. lf you're married with children then there's a lot more impetus to keep things together.
A marriage has great benefits when children are part of the family - it's a lot harder to split up, giving both parties time to reconsider whether they really want to break things up.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Yeah. Why stick it out with someone there's a lot people in the world. It so much easier to replace them when things get tough.

I say this because I think most people in general don't love very deep. And there's no real commitment to begin with.

LonewolfMeme · Answer

Depends on the person really because they could be so mentally tired of trying or they could be so passionate that they don’t want to give up but there’s a thin line where it’s toxic they could be too codependent or too distant in both emotions and connections with each other

Ellie-V · Answer

I think quit is too strong and not really accurate. I do believe people are attempting to have a no-bullshit attitude towards certain behaviors. Less tolerant isn’t exactly the same as giving up easily.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Not in general. I think many do and many stick around far longer then they should. It depends on the person. I do believe in this day and age we are leaning more towards quiting because the system rewards quiting.

BareTruth · Answer

Oh yeah they do. I’ve been cheat on their partner and things got patched up but you don’t call certain people your friends then that’s somehow unfixable. People don’t seem to know how to properly even have a relationship so they sure as hell don’t know how to handle it

0112358 · Answer

some people tend to give up too fast, others hang in years too long. It's tough to get the balance right.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

Im stubborn, unless its something substantially fucked up, im sticking around.

hannny · Answer

Yes, my boyfriends in general all gave up trying although when they did bad things J would not give up on them so yes not only they give up but also man give up quickly

Dchrls78104 · Answer

These days, yes. It is proof that kids should stay home and play around with toys, and leave adult stuff like relationships to adults.

princeofromance · Answer

Yes, They need to learn to put in the effort, and work things out when the relationship gets rocky. It is no secret that all relationships have there ups and downs.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I generally agree with you. However, a boyfriend yelling at his girlfriend is a red flag, and she is right to be concerned.

NoLookingAtSoleil · Answer

I'm a sucker for sticking together - but then I don't cause troubles so the only risk is it gets boring.

myNameIsProfile · Answer

Yep, people want others to be perfect Nowadays, it's sad if you ask me ☹

najekim · Answer

I see a lot of people dealing with relationship as something liquid instead of being a commitment.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Yesterday is today, tomorrow is yesterday, but today is today. That is why it’s called today

guyinterested · Answer

Yeah.. I've seen that too. Seems relationships are disposable... never understood that. I hope as I get older, this will not be as bad a problem.

Asianguy123 · Answer

they use each other for money and sex. so it's easy to quit

Monfrere · Answer

Nice question, hard to answer

Iron_Man · Answer

Some are not relationship worthy

Alyssa11 · Answer

No I don’t think so.

Phoenix98 · Answer

It’s a fact.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Yeah a lot

Generally speaking, do you think people in relationships are quick to quit when things get tough?

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