Guys, OLDER guys how would I go about convincing this guy that age is not that important. He keeps emphasizing that he's older** as if?

[Anonymous]

He's brought up his age in so many ways it's a little annoying. I have a feeling it's his way of keeping from getting too attached/attracted as in between this age-mentioning we get along very well.

Updates

+1 y

For the record I am very mature for my age - so that others think by the way I speak, etc. if we don't meet face to face that I am around 40 - and this is added to by having traveled, etc.

[magiusX26]

just because it does not matter to you does not mean it does not matter to him, be that for positive or nefative reasons. has it occured to you that maybe he preffers there to be a certain level of age gap and that it could excite him in a good way? the wording of your question leads me to believe that thought has not occured to you. with that thought possibly now in your head, i would be wondering (if i were you) if my age fits into the age gap he likes. i bring you this perspective because i am a guy who preffers a bit of a gap and would put some emphasis on it (at least to myself) to add to my excitement in seeing her assuming she is in that age range for my preffered gap (18 to 30) .

[Asker]

What are you blubbering about

[crazy8000]

Just drop the whole "age is just a number" .

You can't convince with words. emotions doesn't work that way.

An other thing is that you keep reminding the whole thing every time.

If he keeps coming up with the subject, just ask him what makes him think that. even. what you have to do to change that belief.
Ask on the answers he gives without trying to prove it's not a problem or anything.
You should have the mindframe that you want to understand him and what makes him have those beliefs.
Then make decisions what to do to go around that.

It can help if you spill your heart how you feel, what you want and want it to go.

Try to avoid to radicalize anything. it tends to make it much harder to get it where you want.

An other thing is to show instead of saying.

Action, physical, be the one you want to be to him ( partner )

[coachTanthony]

You don't. If he is insecure about his age there is most certainly nothing you can say that will change that. He also might think you still want kids in life where maybe he doesn't. You really won't know what the underlying issue is until you actually talk to him about it.

[Asker]

@coachtanthony - it's amusing that your comment, which is intelligent compared to some of the utter blubbering idiocy to my question, got downvotes. Guess that proves there's a number of trolls on this site.

[coachTanthony]

I believe it's one person with many fake accounts who spend all day with nothing better to do then to downvote me. I guess I made an impression on them. Thanks for the kind comments.

[coachTanthony]

@WolfBaneGal

[Juxtapose]

Have an upvote man, I know what it's like to have an army of haters stalking you. It's a little flattering isn't it?

[coachTanthony]

@Juxtapose I could just see it as toxic love ha

[OlderAndWiser]

How old is he and what are his circumstances? Still working? Living alone? Has children who live nearby? Have you two had a sexual relationship? Dated each other even once?

[CentralPerk77]

I don’t think it’s his way of pushing this away - it may be that he feels old and it really bothers him. This may be why he mentions it a lot because he can’t help but to feel a little worse about himself. This could be where you come in and really make him feel how strongly ok you are with his age. Obviously depending the difference he may also be thinking long term if he’s 80 and you’re still beautiful are you really gonna stay with him? That’s hard for even you to know because it’s just a projection of a future you that you can guarantee.

[TheBigGuy9]

No old guy would keep me mentioning his age unless he is over-compensating for something else.


Like for instance, if I chatted up a 20 year old girl I may initially say I’m older, but I would let it go quickly because I’m still at that age where I can do all the things a 20 year old male can.


When you start getting in the 60s, their is a trade off. You may find a man that is richer, but he is slower and on the side of life where he will die in 20-30 years. There is a trade off and I think that’s why he keeps emphasizing his older age. He’s telling you he’s not like men your age.

[hahahmm]

Maybe what he means is that he knows you're biological clock is going to detonate like a nuke one day and he's not interested in kids? You should ask him to say exactly what his concerns are. Have him spell them out. Then before running your mouth/rushing to try and convince him to take you, think real carefully about whether his needs/wants line up with what you want now AND what you're likely to want down the road.

[Asker]

ROFL

[Leavesbound]

He's probably afraid that you will at some point realize there are things about an older guy that you will discover are a deal breaker. It's kind of like when your computer says "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CLICK THIS BUTTON BECAUSE IF YOU DO THEN THIS WILL HAPPEN!"

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s a case of telling him it’s about him and his personality, how he is with you and others etc.

bring out all of his other positives and basically ask if he would be different and not be like that if he was half his age or whatever (not when he was but if he suddenly became 20 with all his life’s knowledge).

it’s a case of you expressing why you like him and what’s good about him

[oldasIfeel22]

I deal with this. Fortunately I find that many younger women do give older guys a chance if their game is tight.

Just tell him you love and accept him for who he is. Tell him that you think he is handsome and you really don’t see age when you are with him.

[MannMitAntworten]

Frankly, you don’t. It is a taboo for him. I realize it isn’t got you bit some people have it has a hang up. Thing is, it bothers him now … given time even if he caved to your desires it would still eat at him and eventually lead to the end of your relationship. Some guys are not bothered by age differences … just not all.

[MannMitAntworten]

Holy crap that came out with one error after another… “I realize it isn’t a taboo for you, but some people have it as a hang up.”

[Anonymous]

Flirt with him. Use phrases that give the impression that his age is not an issue. Like "Hey, age is just a number." Or the classic "I like my men like I like my wine. Aged. Mature. Full bodied." Or the cheesy. "I like my men like I like my cheese. Aged, with good wines."

[MotorcycleMan]

It's very likely that he is feeling like you will think he is too old. Maybe it was an issue with someone in the past. Give him a kiss and tell him you like older men.
If he doesn't get over it, call me. lol

[Avicenna]

I'd ignore it and change the subject if I were you.

I don't mention age gaps when getting to know younger women, but would address it she brings it up.

[NYlatefun]

It’d be important to have more context. Maybe he thinks it’s hard to communicate because of the age difference. How much older is he? He could be concerned that he’ll be too old in a few years to keep un with you.

[fred_durst]

He seems dont want people to judge him for dating someone much younger, he care so much about his image.
How do you convince him? By using most powerful weapon for women to convince men since thousand years ago.
Sex..

[Iron_Man]

Just tell him age is just a number and try to come up with some examples in your family or people you know

[kitkills]

No. Just no. He doesn't give a shit that he's older. He doesn't need you to convince him. He keeps mentioning because he likes the idea of it

[DaveToo]

Unless he's MY age, tell him to suck it up. You love him and the age difference isn't an issue for you.

[InferiorElegy]

He's probably saying it because maybe he sees you as a gold digger.

[Asker]

ROFL. With 2 degrees, a medical career, & a 700,000 house paid outright *I* have to worry about useless gold-digging men.

[InferiorElegy]

No you don't but you can think that if you want.

[MDollarBill]

As an old guy, I think you're right. We've been around long enough to experience our fair share of hypergamy. If we don't have an adonis belt any more, we fear we have to have the money belt.

[SpaceGalaxy]

Take out his penis , suck it, then lick his balls, and then ask him if he still thinks about the age difference. If he says yes, he still does, get a dildo and fuck his freakin ass

[bamesjond0069]

You didn't say how old he is. Im 34 and my live in girlfriend is 18. I dont have any issues with it. Lol. 😁

[Anonymous]

Perhaps he's feeling a little intimidated or embarrassed. If so, I'd guess he'll eventually get over it as you continue to treat it as a non issue.

[Anonymous]

You should understand not everyone is okey with big age difference. I find it disgusting (not other but myself with girls who is smaller than me) and it is big no for me.

[dudeinohio]

It would take some doing... at least in my case. How, exactly, I'm not sure.

[bulletbob555]

Maybe he is making sure you know now and it's ok instead of later

[Rennitenn]

You need to let him know. Sounds like he is being a gentleman.

[Luckycharms12]

He probably feels insacure about the age difference I'm guessing

[2021biguy]

Just tell him it doesn't matter if you both really care about each other.

[Zygum]

As far as he is physically fit and his sex stamina is good, age is not a problem

[Anonymous]

Have a conversation?