Do you think it is appropriate for your boyfriend to send inappropriate messages to his Facebook female friends?

[soconfusedandsad123]

My boyfriend has sent messages to his female Fb friends telling them they are yummy , sexy and one that he needs to see them and he promises he will call them and that he thinks of her a lot. To me it is very disrespectful and makes me feel very unwanted and insecure. Not sure what to do or how to approach him. When I have in the past we get in a fight and he doesn’t talk to me for days. I am fine with him having female friends but I don’t feel comfortable with him telling other girls they are sexy , yummy and hot etc.

[RedChaoticPanda]

Absolutely not friend. That sounds like cheating alright. In more of an emotional kind of way but still. That isn't having friends nor how you treat friends. I am assuming you don't say things like that to your guy friends. Thus is such. It is extremely wrong of him to do such and is filrtation with other people which is a massive no. If you have addressed this in the past it is clear he doesn't care about your feelings involving this and doesn't value you above his own actions. That is extremely toxic behavior and you do not have to associate yourself with that. I read in a reply to someone else you made. None of his mental stuff Is on you. Even if he has a close relationship with your mother or brother or whoever, you do not have to stay in a situation where you feel unsafe, unloved and unappreciated. You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone you do not trust and clearly you do not trust him. It will hurt no matter what you do at this point but even people you've known for a long time you sometimes have to let go of and find a better road for yourself. It sounds harsh but you cannot allow someone to continously belittle your insecurities and use them to flirt around with others just because you feel safe to them.

It would be best to find someone new and leave him to pick up the pieces of a mess he made for himself.

[soconfusedandsad123]

I agree with you 100%.. it is just hard but I know it has to be done. Thanks for your input

[RedChaoticPanda]

Good luck! We stand with you. It will be difficult but I believe that you can get through this

[soconfusedandsad123]

Thank you.. I know I can and will.. thanks again

[Jazquee]

Sounds like he is someone not to be trusted.. just playing around with anyone who will give him attention... start looking for someone new.

[soconfusedandsad123]

I think he is very insecure and feels the need to feel wanted by others to make himself feel better.. Trust and communication are key in a relationship and both lack in this relationship.

[Jazquee]

Ya right!!! And it was HER fault he broke her jaw... she shouldn't have made him angry... stop making excuses... get out before ur miserble forever

[TommyMountainFigure]

By definition, the word 'inappropriate' in your question suggests exactly that it is wrong.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I do have a question for you though. Why do you think so little of yourself that you are prepared to put up with it?

[soconfusedandsad123]

I know I deserve better but it is hard because I’ve known him my whole life and he was best friends with my brother when we were little. He has a close relationship with my mom and always have even before we started dating. He has mental issues and a history of drug use. I’m scared that he will relapse if I ended this relationship

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm sorry, but all these excuses you're making for him? In effect you are giving him licence to do whatever he wants.

[soconfusedandsad123]

I agree with you.. people treat you bad only because you allow it.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Please don't take this at criticism, but at some point you are going to have to stand up for yourself in that relationship. Your sanity could depend on it.

[soconfusedandsad123]

I don’t and I appreciate your response. Every time he is on Fb I fear he is sending messages. I can’t live in fear or be with someone I can’t trust.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Based on what I've read, I get the feeling he sees you as his mother.

[soconfusedandsad123]

I feel like that sometimes.. He is very bad with money , paying bills and having some sort of savings so he puts all but $150 of his check in my account so I pay all his bills. When I try to guide him financially he says I am controlling and I have all his money. It’s his money .. I just manage it.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Can I be honest with you?

[soconfusedandsad123]

Absolutely

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think based on what I've read that you quite like the dynamic of your relationship, whereby you are doing everything for him. Apart from the hurtful Facebook things of course. Would that be a correct assessment?

[soconfusedandsad123]

Pretty much so..

[dudeinohio]

Totally inappropriate

[Technicalfalcon]

That's cheating and you should leave him tbh.

[Iamcoming]

This is not true

[soconfusedandsad123]

Not sure what you mean by this?

[Iamcoming]

This is bad a thing. A guy dont do it

[dileep85]

Absolutely not.

[dileep85]

He should not send messages like that. That’s inappropriate.