Found inappropriate messages between boyfriend and his friends in their group chat. Break up?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend always wants to go through my phone but when I ask to see his he complains & will only allow me to look through it for like 30 sec. If I would try to scroll too much be would snatch the phone away. This has happened 3 times but i would let it go. Last night I had enough & demanded to look through his phone as much as i want since he asked to go through mine. He clearly got nervous when I started scrolling through the group chat between him and two of his friends. He snatched the phone from me and said that group message was off limits. I demanded to see it. He refused to give me his phone so I left to my car. His phone died and be used the excuse of not letting me look because his phone was dead. I happily pulled out a charger and he proceeded to scroll through the messages fast. I told him I wanted to hold the phone and scroll myself so I could read clearly. He begged me to not look through the messages. I was very hurt to find messages between him and his friends where he talked about wanting to take a girl away from her boyfriend so he could have his way with her. He proceeded to offer to go half on a hotel with him and his guy friend so they could invite 2 girls over, give them molly, and have their way with them. He told his single friend that if he didn't hookup with a certain girl that he would beat him to it. He specifically named girls that I have been in the same room with. When I confronted him he told me it was my fault and that I should’ve listened to him and not have gone through the messages. He said it was just “guy talk” and that he would never act on any of it. He also says he said all of that to mess with his friend who he knows Is saving himself for marriage. He knows it upsets his friend when he speaks about being unfaithful. I feel like the messages were too detailed for them to just be simple thoughts. He has clearly been thinking about these things. Should i break up with him? I feel like i can’t trust him anymore.

[AllPoeticJustice]

This is a red flag, especially because it looks like he's not being honest with you.
Also: talking about what he talked about isn't okay. Guys don't normally do that and even if he's not acting on it now, those thoughts lead people down that path.
You should probably break up.

[Asker]

I’m mortified. I went to a Thanksgiving party and one of tbe girls was there and she kept giving me attitude and I couldn’t figure out why. She was friendly with everyone else but me. He says he made the “joke” about taking her away from her boyfriend because his friend has been trying to get with her. He said she was acting weird because the girl knows that he is aware that she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with her friend. I feel like he’s just pulling stuff out of her ass. What do i have to do with any of that? Everyone else was being friendly with me but her.

[AllPoeticJustice]

Yeah, that's enough evidence that you no longer have to wonder...

[hellionthesagereborn]

Dump him. This isn't guy talk, that seems to be way to detailed and specific for guy talk. Yes they will mention a girl being hot, or what they do with their girlfriend but not like what your describing.

[Asker]

Thank you, exactly what I’ve been thinking

[hellionthesagereborn]

Not a problem, get rid of him find some one who will respect you.

[GreedyGiver651]

I read the first 3 lines and already knew my response. Break up. It's the double standard that isn't okay. I'd you both kept your phones private then cool. If you both share then cool. Otherwise, break up.

[Asker]

Red flag after reg flag. There have been times that we have literally wrestled over the phone and he threw the phone at the wall because he was so upset that I wanted to look through his phone after he looked through mine

[Asker]

He also is saying he will cut off all of his friends, delete all social media, and give me passwords to all his stuff if I forgive him. I feel like I shouldn’t have to keep tabs on someone. The only reason I started going through his phone was because he kept going through mine and my friends told me it was probably because he wanted to make sure I wasn’t being unfaithful to him like he was being to me

[GreedyGiver651]

Yeah, I think you see what's going on.

[Anonymous]

You can't trust him?

Look, a guy is going to have private thoughts he would not want you to hear, okay? He might (in his mind) call you worse names than the C word when he's angry. And that's because he knows you can't read his mind.

He thought his phone was like that. Dumb of him, but there you go. You then demanded access to this unfiltered raw sanctum of his thoughts, and you were not REMOTELY prepared for it. You expected sanitised nonsense, probably.

If he knew you would read his phone he'd never have written it. But HE WOULD STILL HAVE THOUGHT IT.

You are not mature enough to be with anyone, because no one can survive thought police.

Or, since you're too immature to even understand why you're in the wrong, yes dump him because without trust, you have Jack and Shit.

[707Justice]

I'm sorry to say this but he sounds a bit of an asshole. He can't demand you to show your phone and then not show his, that just a dick move. And even if it was just "guy talk", their conversations are inappropriate and disgusting. And on top of that, he gets all defensive when you confront him about this? Definitely a red flag, you deserve better.

[jackyboyo]

That's not guy talk, leave his ass before he cheats, lies about it for years and he runs off with someone else who he'll do the same too.

[mikejdance]

Yeah leave him it doesn't sound like there's trust and he's hiding something.

[ivancho1BG]

He hides things from you. He is not being honest. I would break up.

[kevinaskmenow]

Welcome to a man's world... 90% of men are like him... Unless you will be able to find one from the 10%, don't break up with him...

[why_sure]

Once trust is gone so is the relationship... forever

[false]

that would be a funny story to tell your grandkids 😂😂😂

[Cammy137]

Yes, break up with him

[Howdoesitwork456]

Sounds like he want to be bill cosby... RUN

[Asker]

The fact that he brought up Molly is what through me off the most. That’s disgusting. Like I give him everything and he feels the need to make jokes like that? I didn’t find any of it funny and he keeps referring to the texts as simple jokes

[sidvt]

Yes without any thinking u can break up with him

[Anonymous]

Boom, red flag, mofo! 🤜🤛

[Anonymous]

break up. he deserves better.

[Asker]

He deserves better? Please explain

[Darksil]

You mean she should deserve better..

[Opinion Owner]

@Darksil No. She is not a keeper.

[Darksil]

Then maybe you should go out with her boyfriend

[orion26]

Dump him

[ProssimaFermata]

Talk first

[Asker]

We have talked and he keeps repeating the same thing over “it was just guy talk, they were just jokes” he also keeps saying that if he bad already cheated on me or was cheating right now that a female would have already told me something” he keeps saying sorry but don’t most men say sorry when they’ve been caught red handed? I’m scared to forgive him and end up looking stupid and wasting more time.

[Lumberman53]

Yes leave him