How bad is cheating on a scale of 1-10 if 10 is the worst thing possible?

[Jammaa]

A lot of people cheat. Does that make it not that bad? I think it's really bad still but I want to see what you all think. No judgment here. For this poll's purpose, cheating is when sex happens with someone else and you know it would break someone's heart.

Please don't select 10 though unless you really think it's just as bad as the worst possible things like torturing someone in a demented way and eventually killing.

10

9.5

9.0

8.5

8.0

7.5

7 or less

[Anonymous]

I would give it a 10. Perhaps more if possible. Cheating can have a huge impact on your life both emotionally and even physically (heartache and losing or gaining weight). It’s also almost impossible to go back to your old, happy self after someone cheats on you. You become a new you, with the scars that remind you of the pain; you can never run from it or act like it never existed. Around 3 months ago I was cheated on and still I’m massively affected. I struggle to eat and sleep and I have NO peace of mind. I really loved this person and they left me for someone they had just met and that someone had the audacity to laugh at me and tell me he was hers and how I should forget about it. He words and messages still scare me to this day and I often have nightmares about them. Life before meeting him and life before all the cheating seems like an absolute dream at this moment and I wish I had cherished those moments more because who knew I would never have that peace of mind again? I still struggle with my day to day activities, like eating or heating certain words or hearing certain songs or going to the gym or even leaving my house because I’m afraid to bump into him or that other woman. I left my house last week and in the middle of it I just sped home because I saw something that triggered me and I could not take it anymore. So yes, it’s a 10 for sure.

[Anonymous]

Cheating can absolutely be a ten in terms of your relationships/emotions/feelings/pain in relation to what happened. Cheating can blow up your entire life. For example, if you've been married for ten years, you're thinking you are the happiest you've ever been, your kids are happy, you think you're riding out into the sunset of old age together, and your partner cheats----next thing you know, you're getting a divorce, splitting up, deciding who gets the car, the kids are a wreck, you're emotionally devastated, you're getting an STD check because god knows what she or he may have given to you, your families and friends have to be divided up or chose not to see each other out of respect for you or them, then you have to deal with everyone elses feelings about it. How would that not be a ten?

Now if your relationship already sucked, and you were barely doing anything but fighting or completely just bored of each other and then they cheated...probably going to be a 2 or 3 because it would just be another nail in the coffin of an already dying relationship.

[ohshee]

It's a 10 and see what makes it a 10 is that when your partner is out screwing somebody else then comes home it says I had to work late or I had to take this person home or whatever and then they act like nothing even happened they haven't done anything if that lie right there that pisses me off be able to walk through your door of your house and act like nothing even happened it's not a big deal and play that game that means they're trying to pull the wool over your eyes that means you're not only cheating on you but they're lying to you they're trying to make you think something else and they think they're smart enough to get away with it that's what makes it a 10 for me anyway it's one thing that you cheat but it's another thing the way you try to get away with it and then when you get caught the way you try to deny it or do you start apologizing I never do it again blah blah blah all that is just the bullshit for me that is what makes it the 10th

[Nawlins34]

I went "7 or less" and probably a 2, here's my thought process:

If a woman cheats on me she made a declaration; I don't view it as "cheating". I view it as she ended the relationship.

She also ended the friendship and all social contact with me.

I don't keep exes in my life, if it ends, I remove them from my life.

So while I'll have the emotional pain to deal with in the short-term, there are no long-term impacts for me personally, because they won't in any of my circles going forward. Minimum impact.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Let's see: you're breaking someone heart and trust. Causing emotional, mental, and possibly physical pain (heartache) from being cheated on.

Yeah, I'd say a 10 for sure.

Cheating is one of those things that's unforgivable: I don't care what your excuse is! Unhappy in a relationship? Break up!
Afraid you're going to "hurt your partner if they find out?" Then you shouldn't be doing it in the first place!
You supposedly fell for someone else, but still love your partner? No you don't love them, because if you did, you wouldn't have cheated in the first place.

[Bluemax]

How would you account for the married couple I know where the wife cheated and they are reconciled? In fact, their relationship is perhaps stronger. They both love each other and have been together for 14 years after the cheating.

[OlderAndWiser]

I won't put a number on it because that is a silly exercise. Cheating is a horrible thing to do to a partner. Child abuse is horrible, so is murder and assault with significant injuries. Stealing someone's life savings is horrible. Does it really matter which of these is MOST horrible?

[tatianamay]

I'd give it an 8. There are worst things that your partner could do to you, but WHY are they doing it in the first place? There is NO numerical value to cheating. People get hurt, emotionally, they develop trust issues, if the couple has children, then it affects the whole family. Cheating is bad, why are you even talking about the WORSE things that thy could do to you? Cheating is one of those terrible things. When two people are in love and in an exclusive relationship, if they're monogamous, then they should protect, support and love each other. THAT is love. If a person could do worse things than cheating, that relationship is toxic af and is doomed to end one day or the other. If they do things worse than cheating, they don't love you

[Sambelfast198526]

Very mature answer. Your one in a million.

[tatianamay]

@Sambelfast198526 Thank you! :)

[tatianamay]

there are worse things*

things they could do*

sorry for the typos lol

[Sambelfast198526]

Your welcome 😘

[FilmGuy93]

I voted 7.5... it's pretty damn bad. I will say that there are plenty of perfectly legal things you can do to your spouse that are a billion times worse than cheating though. It's disturbing how many people are willing to just casually cheat on their partners. I'm not sure they even think of it as cheating. Women especially are really good rationalizing things like that.
"Oh this isn't cheating, I'm just blowing off some steam, so it's a one time thing. My boyfriend just gets under my skin but I would never leave him because our love goes beyond the physical."

You wouldn't believe how many people use the "it's just one night of sex" excuse.

[J2ohhhhh]

There's a reason why ancient greeks said true love can exist only between two men. Now in 2021 women can gain enough independence to love without the possessive bullshit, but the reason why most people will never experience unconditional love because they can't get rid of their conditions. " I want unconditionally love someone who respects me, who don't forget my birthday, who is committed, and never cheats etc... etc..." Regardless how entitled someone feels about this, these are conditions. But when you can love unconditionally you're uncheatable. You can only cheat on possessive people.

[Finchie40]

I give it a 10 cuz you don’t commit to someone to be single , if they wanted to screw around then they should of never got into a relationship period , the only way I give cheating a 9 is if the cheater dumped their partner right after they cheated , and not go back to them like nothing ever happened , it still sucks but it’s better than being played a fool

[Feelicks]

Why not just be openly poly and stop sneaking around like a pos?

[Jammaa]

Exactly. Lots of unethical people out there.

[Feelicks]

Right, nothing wrong with enjoying fucking, but sneaking around and abusing someone's trust is bs

[ShadezMcgee]

I think you should keep this question oriented towards sex, then.

You can't compare cheating on someone to something on the scale of murder because while both are bad they are not even remotely close in terms of terrible things someone can do.

[Leavesbound]

I have never cheated. I'm just not comfortable with that. But I also don't define cheating precisely the same way as some other people do. If my girlfriend/wife wants to have a threesome then I don't count that as cheating. If she asks for permission to have sex with other people and I give it then that is not cheating.

[InfobotLives]

I voted 8 but strictly in the context of relationships. If it was in the context of all bad things that you could do then it would barely score 1. In the context of relationships it's certainly not as bad a physical or sexual abuse. It's bad but it's not the worst thing that you could do to a partner.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Depends on how close the relationship was. If it was the one person you trusted, the one who you thought was the closest to you and knew you the best, it can hurt a lot.

If it's someone you've only been dating a short while it's a little easier (still painful though)

[IDontBelieveIt]

I'm sorry you have had that bad experience, I understand where you are coming from I took myself away from the dating scene for a long time and I regret it, you will meet people that are selfish and will hurt you but why let them win. There are a lot of decent guys out there. Please don't think I'm trying to hit on you, I'm not, just don't give up. Best wishes

[Kurainix]

Cheating isn't when someone has sex. Cheating is when someone is playing with important feelings and values of the other side in the relationship, when someone is turning to be an hypocrite, manipulator and narcissic pervert, that's what i call cheating or even betrayal and it should be dealt with neglecting at the best and it may be gone to committing a murder.

[Bluemax]

It's bad, though I can't put a numerical value on it. It causes heartache. It causes anguish. It causes rage. It causes so many negative emotions.

That being said, I've known at least one married couple who has truly reconciled after cheating.

[Anonymous]

I voted 10, but I would've voted even higher if it was an option. There is no excuse for cheating. There is no excuse for hurting your partner in that way. We're all adults and are perfectly capable of controlling our own actions.

[Prideful]

Exactly but many are still children in their soul.

[hellacray]

I'd say around a 7 or 8. Cause the feeling of betrayal is pretty bad I don't think it's the worst. I mean after all you can always find someone else.

But... Let's say you find out you have cancer or maybe you'll die in a month. That's probably the worst feeling because you will miss out on pretty much everything not just having a girlfriend.

[musicdove]

7.5. I imagine the worst thing possible would be something happening to my child. Getting cheated on sucks but there are far worse things.

[HOAAH]

Cheating is pretty bad. It shows that you have NO MORALS and you have NO RESPECT for yourself or your partner.

[OurManFlint]

Cheating obviously isn't a small mistake but one doesn't have to have Tim Burton's imagination to think of deeds a spouse could commit that would be far worse than cheating.

A person's feelings, insecurities, and often times ego is attached to a spouses betrayl, which is why it usually feels so irredeemable. But if a couple has children between them or together then there are certainly things that could happen that actually would be irredeemable.

[Iron_Man]

Let’s look at it this way you’re not gonna go to prison over it but you will lose your partner for life so you tell me how bad it is