I have fallen in love with my supervisor who is twice my age. How do I handle this?

[Anonymous]

I am 28 and married. For over the past six months I have kept a secret. I have fallen in love with my supervisor who is twice my age. I have not acted on anything, as there is no way I can out of the respect I have for my husband. However, my supervisor and I are really good friends, and just the other day, I caved and told him that I had this crush. I don't want anything to come out of it, because I have so much on the line it is not worth losing over a silly fling. Granted, I have never felt this way about anyone before and I think I flipped my supervisor out when I mentioned it. I fear it may have ruined our friendship. I have so much to say and I think he is avoiding me for the time being. He is not married...oh boy. I got myself into a heap of a mess. How do I handle this situation?

[Elisue]

Are you still in love with your husband? If yes, try to avoid your supervisor, so your feelings for him can't grow any stronger than they are right now. Work on your relationship with your husband, try to reignite the flame...do things together, try to remember why you love him. And also tell your supervisor that you told him just to get it off your chest, but that you didn't expect/ want anything from him (which you didn't, right?) and that you still love your husband and don't want things to be weird between you two. Your supervisor is avoiding you to protect himself because you're married and nothing good can come from this in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Hey, people get crushes all the time. It's whether you act on it. I get the feeling you're spending a lot of time thinking and feeling about this, and while I totally see why, maybe try redirecting your energy. Why not spend some quality time with your husband, building up your relationship with him and remembering why you're in love with him. You could do some of those things you used to do when you first began dating, or maybe try new things with him. Take him out to see the movies, have a nice romantic dinner for two, try something new in bed with him... Recapture your spark with him. Let us know how it works out? :)

[Asker]

I think you are right. I do need to redirect my energy. Things are so busy around here, I fear I might be losing my family because I am so caught up in my boss. Thank you for your reply and I am glad that there is some other woman out there who can relate...now I don't feel so bad.

[Anonymous]

sounds like you need a new job and to keep some distance between you 2

[malekoniky]

I seee no heap of mess. You don't want to act on it so this is a good thing right? Or am I wrong? If yu stay in close contact you are building something that will expolde in your face later. So this is way he protect himself and by the way, also you. He does not dislike you. Oh no. It is just protecting himself. That is good reaction. Don't feel like you did something wrong. You did not and he is not comunicating that to you. Not at all. So I don't know if anything else happened, but from what you say I perosnaly see no mess. It's all just right.

[Asker]

Nothing has happened, and I thank you so much for your reply. I am just so worried about all of this, it is making me so crazy. I am in love with my boss and I just had to say it to get it off of my chest. Ah! I have never been in this position before and never expected to be!

[Guytalks]

May be you should start looking for a new job or if possible work under someone else than him, because in my opinion you are letting things getting out of hand, it's not like your boss has courted you so far. Sounds like you have fallen out of love with your husband by the way. Remember it's not just about you, you have also to think how happy your marriage can be for yourself but also for your husband, I wouldn't want to be married to someone who is not in love with me.