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Of course its normal. As humans we are wired to procreate and desire other partners. Anyone who is married that tells you they never think about another person, is a liar.
Its okay to have fantasies and desire other people when you are married. However its not okay to act on them - obviously. If you are in a marriage and committed to your spouse.
But, in today's society, the definition of "normal" has been blown up, so you have all kinds of marriages and arrangements going on out there!
I get the feeling, however, that your question is based on you wanting to make sure no one is coming between you and your spouse. We need a lot more details to really give a specific answer to you, But, yes its very common for a married person to have a crush on someone else. If you satisfy them sexually and have a strong intimate and close relationship, you should have nothing to worry about. If you feel your marriage is degrading, you are drifting apart, nothing is happening in the bedroom... then you should address that instead of worrying about who is crushing on who.
At 71 years of age I have often wondered why protestant ministers tell a prospective bride and groom."God does not want you to get married". His answer is that by swearing an oath of dedication to one another you are declaring sovereignty over your lives and I am here to tell you that you don't have sovereignty over your life. That includes crushes. They are going to happen and the reason extends back to our exit from the Garden of Eden. However, as Jake99999 states it is all about how you respond to those feelings that define just how dedicated you are to the individual you swore to Love, Honor and --------------. I don't think they use Obey anymore.
Yeah if your mind is occupied that easily or frequently, then there might be an underlying problem or issue. Seeing a random person in your travels and thinking in passing that person is attractive isn't the same thing.
Thanks for Most Helpful. 👍
Find another attractive once the love has waned a little? Sure. It’s not a straight road, I think feelings do rise and fall but overall you grow stronger together through the challenges if it’s right. But to have a crush on? No, I think I’d dig a little deeper there…am I getting all of my needs met? Do I have a tendency to self sabotage etc? Am I emotionally unavailable or have attachment issues? Or am I just hoping that this is an indirect way out of a relationship I’m not happy in? Etc. These are all things I’d be looking to explore first. If you can be honest with yourself (which isn’t always easy but is very beneficial) then you’ll find the answer.
Everyone is attracted to other people even though they're in relationships. I wouldn't go as far as calling it a crush though... if it's gone that far its gone too far
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It means something is missing in that marriage and the partner that is looking isn’t really being fulfilled by their partner , , so it is a normal reaction but not a good reaction , considering the partner that is having crushes on others is a sign that they don’t really value and love their current partner, it’s ok to find someone else attractive , but to crush on that attractive person isn’t a good thing , because If you are in love with someone you become blind to other’s for the most part and realize you are already with someone that has
Your heart , but when you are open to accepting other’s then you should really reconsider your marriage or relationship. The way things are today , it seems it’s a common trend , why most marriages don’t last and most people don’t want to get married because of how selfish people have become , if you can’t make your partner a priority like they should be making you then you are both better off just staying single
It depends on definition of crush i suppose. Mine just been finding a girl interesting were i would date her if i was or am single.
Which i think if you don't meet people like that through your life, single or not that's abnormal.
So yes it would still be normal to have a crush on someone while with someone.
It would be kinda like the lie of, now i am married all other girls are just ugly. No there is still many that are attractive and hot. That's kinda the point of commitment wouldn't need to commit to someone if everyone else was unattractive anyway.
For me when I'm in a relationship it's committed 100% I mean I'll look I'll smile I'll joke even flirt a smart ass way if they know me because that's what I like. But I also think the mind is a powerful thing the heart is a powerful thing can you can talk yourself into anything so you have to look at it as if it's a choice why are you making that choice it would have to be because you are unhappy you're going to gain something out of the deal so people do it if my mind start twerking like that my heart starts working like that so that means I'm not happy and I'm not going to cheat or do something stupid and pretend like I'm going to try to get away with it if I'm unhappy that I'm getting out of the situation that I'm in and then after I do that then I would start all over but I'm not going to do it during any type of relationship that I have
Yeah I think you're so right I look at guys nowadays and they are just assholes far as I'm concerned they don't know how to treat a woman at all it says if they hate women but they don't know how to attach how to hold how to be real with a woman. And I don't see how women deal with that
It's not uncommon which means it's not abnormal but that doesn't mean it's ok.
You need to ask yourself why are you craving someone that isn't your husband, what's the thing your husband is not doing that you want and if you can figure this out talk to him about it.
No it’s not normal, you might have one or two over a large number of years.
having them as normal would be an alarm bell that the person was potentially going to cheat.
if it’s say your souses friend, nice bbq a few beers, some alone time…. Crush becomes more than that and is actively cheating,
I just saw the pixar movie Inside out and your question made me think of that scene where the father messes up with Riley the daughter. The mother was disappointed in the father’s response and in her mind she starts fantasizing about this brazilian dude lol.
so yeah if you find yourself thinking of someone else while married it might be a sign you are having issues in your marriage that really need to be addressed.
Yeah was thinking of doing pixar movies lol
I love that movie!
Its excusable to like someone else if you’re unmarried and dont feel the relationship is going well. At times, its like a weird instinct to seek out the next person you’ll date for when you break things off with the current. Its your way of seeing what you deserve better in a partner. But while married, its inexcusable. A lot of people dont take marriage serious these days so thats why they cheat on their spouse or become swingers. Those types shouldve never gotten married
u a crush? that depends...
it could be as simple as just a celebrity crush... or it could be something like having a crush on your assistant or your boss and that could become very present and consistent, so that could turn into a problem
there's appreciation, attraction, admiration... and there's infatuation, and attention... there could be interaction, flirtation... I guess the sanction depends on the action
I think it's about boundaries really
To me, crushing on someone just means that I find a part of them attractive. In another situation, dateable or I'd be interested. If I were married, I still think these little crushes would be harmless. As long as I / he isn't devoting time to this crush, or preferring the crush over me.
Is it normal to find another person attractive? yes. Is it normal to want to be with that person and to put yourself in a place where you can develop a crush on them? No. I think finding them attractive is different then actively pursuing a relationship, actively indulging in a fantasy of that person etc. So while its not cheating, and its not exactly abnormal, I think their is an element of interaction that is required for a crush that makes it not normal, if that makes sense.
Perhaps you have a different meaning for the term 'crushes' than I do.
Everybody flirts, everyone finds other people attractive. But mature adults understand what to act on, and what is just harmless attraction.
To me, a 'crush', is someone you desire, you fantasize about being with. And while that may not be what you call 'normal', it may well be normal if you're not committed to your primary partner.
If you're dissatisfied enough with your primary relationship, that you need to find stimulation with others, it's probably a good sign that it has failed. Or needs work, or help to improve. The bottom line is, happy couples in love don't cheat, don't have 'crushes'.
That's probably possible somebody may have a quality your significant other doesn't have like say for instance this guy might be a goofball but you like his sense of humor those are the little small things that make you like certain people and then if he's good looking that's just double you liking him so on and so forth
Completely normal. I am happily married, and attracted to other women all the time. I don't pursue them, but I'm definitely attracted. I don't consider these attractions crushes, because I'm past the feeling that there is a magic person or magic sex.
As far as guys are concerned, whoever says it is not normal is dellusional and flat out lying. Women's mind works differetly of course so I am not in the place to comment. I also realize and emphasize that the question is about being married. Not about being in an uncommitted relationship.
It's normal but you can't act on those feelings. It's human nature to admire other people and find them attractive
I think many if not all married men/women at some point are attracted to someone other than their Husband/Wife. It only becomes a problem if they act on it and pursue some type of responce or attention from the person.
Well if that's true they had no business getting married in the first place...
My mom told me that if the woman you want to marry is NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. meaning if you cannot tell your soon to wife that which you tell Mike (my best friend since he and I were four years old) don't marry her because it will end in sorrow.
@Pummel Your Mom was not wrong. Your wife should be your best friend. I was just saying that I think it is human nature to be attracted to someone other than your wife/husband. You can't tell me that just because you get married you stop finding other people attractive or interesting. Liking someone for whatever reason is natural and the human race can't control what they like. It becomes a problem if they do something to pursue the person in a way that disrespects the bond between them and their partner.
No it is not normal.. Now if you are asking if one can appreciate the looks of or personality of someone.. Than yes... But crush? NO
Not married but I think it's natural to have crushes regardless of marital status, what isn't normal is acting on them when in a committed relationship.
It happens only if there is something in your marriage that you are not happy with.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/-R0T_gNFwd4It's not nice, but it's normal, as long as it stays a crush and it won't cross boundaries and become cheating then it's normal.
I think it is normal. Humans will be humans. I have had connections with married women but it never went further than them sending me dirty pics or sexting. I don't really believe in the sanctity of marriage because anyone can just change their mind one day and leave. People are gonna have feelings regardless of whether they are married or not. This is not a very popular opinion I know but it is true.
A crush is more than just attraction I'd say so not normal
Right if im crushing on someone, it means i fantasize about being with them. (Not sexually, but ina wanting to date then type way). Finding someone attractive for a quick second and crushing on them are very different
I’ve never been married but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have a crush on another girl. I might look at another girl when I’m walking out in public just to look but that’s about it
maybe celebrities… but not other people who you know
Be attracted to other people? Quite normal. But having a crush? That doesn't seem normal to me.
It wasn't normal 50-60 years ago. Everything is normal these days. People have become slack.
It means you're relationship is going downhill, so you're being attracted to someone else.
Totally normal if you’re honest with yourself. But it shouldn’t exceed the crush you have on your spouse. And it all depends on what you do with it to make it acceptable or not
It's normal but as married and in love you don't act on it or at least shouldn't act on it
I believe it can be normal all depends on the person
@beebella Yes, If I was in a relationship I would not be having crushes on other ladies
Crushes are just a rush of feelings. They can happen anytime. Acting on those feelings is what matters.
Yes, that's normal. Especially if you've been in a relationship for a long time. It happens to pretty much everyone eventually.
It's not normal but it's something people normalized because HuMAnS aRE biOLogIcAL
Well, I've never been married but I'm in a long term relationship and I haven't thought of other people sexually just more in a affectionate best friend kind of way.
Not normal at all. Those results for people who think it's normal worry me.
I think that is all part of human interaction as long as you don't act out.
If you feel that you want the person, divorce first.
Of course it's normal. People are attractive. You didn't marry the ONLY person in the world that is attractive. You're going to notice other people and develop feelings for other people. Just go home to your husband when you're finished.
It’s probably normal, but it’s fine if you don’t act on it.
Define crush?
Certainly one is going to come across another for whom they have great respect and/or admiration. That's completely normal.
What they do now... that's the real question.
I quess it happens a lot. Its do you act on it or not.
It’s totally normal, but just ignore him. The feelings will soon go away. This has happened to me in the past but I usually just take a peek but nothing else, you don’t want to tear apart their marriage.
No marriage is just a magical thing that makes your genitals no longer work 😂😂😂
Of course! The grass is always greener on the other side of the road.
Until you try it !
But, everyone has fantasies.
That naturally happens. People aren’t perfect. Smh you’re so pompous
You sound like my 12 year old niece talking about crushes.
This is soooo far from normal that I wa DD like who would even think of this?
No.
Not if you are exercising good boundaries.
If it's just a silly celebrity crush, it's normal.
Love is not linear, it's 3-dimensional.
I would say it’s normal.
I feel like that’s abnormal and also unhealthy.
I don't know, probably could happen
It is normal but you cannot act on any of it.
You don't go blind when you get married. LOL
I think it's perfectly normal to have mild crushes that you just let fade away. I also think it's quite "abnormal" to expect any one person to fill, or complement, every single need you may have for your entire life, just because you're married to them.
Normal but don't act on it.
It happens to some people.
It's means that person is immoral. 😑
I’ve heard that’s very normal.
If you're crush is out of your league then you shouldn't you may get depress.
Yes thats normal your married not dead
I'd imagine it'd be normal, for sure, yeah
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