Would you rather be be married to a kind hearted person with lower income or a mean person with higher income?

[t-8900]

You are locked into this relationship the rest of your life with no way out and you cannot find comfort in another ever.

Mean Person: Does not pay attention to you, does not make time for you, disrespects you. But he/she is Elon Musk level rich. He/She spends money on you a few times a month on lavish gifts but you have no connection with them and they will cheat on you constantly. He/she expects you to do all the housework and in his/her presence you are to "be seen and not heard"

Good Person: They are respectful to you, patient, listen, compromise when needed, they are able to get in your emotions and make you feel like the most important person. This person spends much of his free time doing non-profit charities for children living in broken homes and for animals that would be sent to kill shelters. They have constant deep and intellectual conversations with you that you can relate to, that always stimulate your mind. They'll protect you at any cost, even lay down their life for you, ever walk out on you. Because they never had much money they learned how to be an amazing cook and took care of the yard work. They work a job that they love but you find not that great. Could be fast food, retail, hospitality, etc. This job actually brings joy to their life too.

I don't know why but this video inspired this post:

Updates

+1 y

I don't know why it forced me to use a thumbnail. the video just sparked the idea for the post but that's not what it's about.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Income means nothing if they're a shit person and don't really love you... And lower income isn't as much an issue when both spouses can work.. And just because someone has a lower income, don't mean that couldn't ever change... Just like because someone has money, doesn't mean they couldn't lose it.. Why that's not a deciding factor for me.. It's do I love him? Does he love me? Do we have that deep connection? Will he be there for me when I need him, will he let me be there for him when he needs... Do we have good communication.. Can we make each other laugh...

[t-8900]

If only more though like you 😭💍🙏

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think there is more that do

[t-8900]

Not enough 🥺

[FinalFantasyBro]

True, the money doesn't mean much if you don't love the person plus why would I care for that if I am really desperate for money I could go work for myself.

[t-8900]

Well the comments I seen on gag by a certain group about money being the defining point of a man... well I just don't get that myself 🤷‍♂️

[TonyMetal___86]

@Brainsbeforebeauty wise words from a wise lady but in my case you know miss brains muffins that the income word doesn't exists cause she will be a housewife and if she wants a higher income she must massage my joints and muscles in that bubbly naughty bath 🤣🤣

I can wear a robe too, the late hugh hefner ain't better than me 😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 🤣🤣

[corny_cooter581]

Trust me I don't think most women care that much about money. Ofc there are a few but it shouldn't be too hard to find someone who doesn't care

[t-8900]

@corny_cooter581 i've been rejected outright or within a few dates for it. T. T

[corny_cooter581]

Wow that's rough. Seems kinda stupid to reject someone bc of money. Ig you dodged a bullet bc for me that's be a pretty big red flag

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@corny_cooter581 Agree

[TheSpaceGnome]

"marriage is hard"

No, marriage is easy, being single is hard, being a parent is hard, finding the right person to marry is hard.

But marriage itself just requires getting along.

Also, to answer your question, neither.

I don't want a jerk or a martyr, I want someone who values me AND herself.

Someone nice, but not to the point of self sacrificing.

But, if my only two options were those, then option 2.

I want someone who won't off themselves to save someone else, and isn't off volunteering (because they are at home creating, gaming, practicing instruments, studying, or inventing), but still does most of that other thoughtful and intellectual stuff that you mentioned.

I want a self preserving hedonistic overachiever with a heart of gold and a penchant for challenges, animals, technology, collectables, being silly, being intellectually thoughtful, and being creative.

[Shizunk]

As a man wanting a stay at home wife, this is really not a tough choice. Kind hearted is an exact description of what I need. If I were a woman with similar worldviews and playing the opposite role, I would probably be a bit more conflicted and would be dissatisfied with both, honestly. Still would choose kind hearted because there is no point in being a paid servant and whore, but it may be creating problems. If someone is capable of having great intellectual conversation, why the hell would I let them waste their time at McDonalds?

[NicoletteXO]

Gun to my head, I'd choose the kind hearted person.

But I gotta be honest... I think both these options sound unrealistic.

Like, why would a guy who is Elon Musk level rich have his woman doing housework? Doesn't make sense when there are maids he can afford.

And also... I've never met a person who works in fast food who is super happy and genuinely joyful about that. Only if it is their side gig while they are working towards something else. This doesn't seem to me to paint a realistic picture of what these two situations would offer.

[lilyanony1]

Kind hearted person.
Money and people come ago.
You need a good kind person at your side through it all. Always.

[t-8900]

Absolutely! What if you get sick or worse? You need a real heart by your side!

[lilyanony1]

Precisely, people never think about these things ever.
Most people presume they'll be fit and healthy forever.
I want the real deal

[t-8900]

yep life is not set in stone. life is chaos. Your love needs to be the one solid foundation you can count on through thick and thin

[HighValue]

A kind hearted filthy hobo. lol j/k

Of course a kind hearted person. I don't care about her income level.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[DizzyDesii]

I dont care about his income as long as he's good withh money management, saving up, and handling his share of the bills

[MCheetah]

Money is irrelevant to me when it comes to a woman. So my choice is easy; the kind hearted, good woman.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Kind hearted person the money won't matter if I am married to a fucking bitch with horrible attitude.

[corny_cooter581]

Definitely the nice person. Whats the point in having access to a lot if money if you're miserable bc of the person you married?

[CrazyGirl2]

Kind hearted, without a doubt! I’m perfectly capable of earning my own money.

[Mangospacho]

Both are added stress but when disagreements come up, it’s easier to deal with them when the person is reasonable. If the relationship itself is a stressor, then money is the least of your concern.

[Pumpkinspice009]

I’ll go with the first one, we can make progress together. Better than being with a mean one

[Alyssa11]

Kind hearted person all the way. If I get married it’s for happiness. I can make my own money.

[sensible27]

You can make your own happiness

[Alyssa11]

Yes but marriage for me is supposed to be an added happiness in my life - a life partner and a family. I don’t see it as an income source. My job is my income source.

[t-8900]

Not all of us can be happy alone, period. I know people mean well when they tell others they only need themselves but I hate that sort of advice. Trust me I NEED a woman in my life and in not ashamed to say it

[sensible27]

Then you're dependant..

[t-8900]

I'm find with admitting that. It's as it sho be in marriage anyways

[t-8900]

*should

[Alyssa11]

Can I just add that codependency is a FACT not a preference. Scientifically there’s evidence that as humans we rely on other people and having a partner plays a vital role in our wellbeing. Think about it from an evolutional perspective — were basically here to procreate just like other living organism.
I’m happy being independent but of course I want to have a partner. I’d be happier with one. And I’m happy to admit it because it will make things easier for me to find that person. At least I know I want to find that person.

[t-8900]

@alyssa11 nope I admit i am codependent too. People think that's unmanly. I think a girl who at least learned about my past would see past that and understand and accept me as being a codependent. I think people become stronger for it in the long run anyway. Doing it alone is NOT a fulfilling life for me. I could never picture that. I loathe the idea altogether. And I hate when people say "You just need yourself to be happy". Thats BS there are different personality types and we are not all the same. I'm freely willing to say in all humility that I NEED a good woman in my life. Idc what other guys have to say about that.

[NathanDavis]

the sooner you forget about "hypergamy" the better for your mental health...

[t-8900]

it wasn't really the point of the post but it did spark the idea for it ^^

[NathanDavis]

yeah... but is already making you come up with these silly scenarios..

do you prefer shitty with good... or good with shitty... lol

[t-8900]

actually some ladies on here seemed to think you aren't a man if you aren't bread winner... so I don't know what to tell you

[NathanDavis]

see, this is a problem...

they might have an opinion like that, and it will be for a reason... those reasons are what really matter

for example... if a man has three children with three different women, and he's not bringing up the bread for any of them, then yes... that male is a deadbeat

if a man is in his 30's or 40's or 50's... and still depends on the parents while he himself is still capable of working, then yes, he could be a deadbeat

the point here is... are those men making excuses to be lazy and get by... or they actually have reasons to not be self sufficient and the providers they SHOULD be, if they actually had to be providers...

it's always about the details and the circumstances... and not just the basic premise "you're not a man if you don't bring the bread"

[t-8900]

i would say they jump to those conclusions out of sheer ignorance and sheltered existences tbh

[NathanDavis]

well, I just checked all the comments from the women... and none of them is saying what you just mentioned... all of them went with the kind guy, so... not sure what you're talking about here

[t-8900]

it wasn't on this post. And by the way I'm GLAD that's how they feel. And I think the reverse should be true. Value the person first.

[sunshineglow]

Interesting 😒
All the girls said kind one and several guys said something along the line of rich and not caring. There you go.

[Twalli]

I would stay with the kind person. My parents are willing to support me in the very real case of me not being able to have a job.

[TonyMetal___86]

Without hesitation the good girl, personally i don't care about her income cause after marriage she will become a housewife, i'll never marry a girl who wants to work which means the topic of her income doesn't even exists...

[pink_and_inlove]

Kindess is the most important thing to me so a kind person

[Wraith_Cemetery]

How is this even a question? Obviously, people want the kindhearted person.

[DonkeyDan]

She can be flat broke for all I care as long as she is kind.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

A sweetheart. I literally hate a rude person. I can't stand them.

[Shiningtempest]

@t-8900 I'd rather be married to a kind-hearted woman with a lower income because I don't want to be experience nightmares that come with marrying a mean woman with a higher income.

[msc545]

The kind-hearted person. Who will likely morph into a mean bitch after marriage anyway.