I'm I being overly sensitive or would anybody else feel the same in my situation?

[Jesibel]

Ok my man works everyday Monday-Friday and with that said I understand he comes home tired everyday but usually he comes home and give me a kiss and is happy to see me but then there are those days he comes home and instead of coming inside telling me hi and giving me kiss he'll come home sit on the porch and be in a grumpy mood giving me attitude and the look he has when he sees me it no where near a look like I'm happy to see you. So I'll ask him what's wrong and of course he don't want to tell me shit he'll either ignore my question or give me attitude or be a smart ass. I want to know if I am I wrong for being upset, bothered, or my feelings hurt by this. Or am I being overly sensitive and maybe I just shouldn't take it to personally?

Updates

+1 y

Well what does it mean when I ask if someone upset him at work and he then says no that everybody at. Work was cool it was a good day and he comes home like that?

[hahahmm]

Overly sensitive - but not unusual for a woman.

When a guy acts like that he's under around 100 times more pressure than you were when you did the same thing to him... except you (probably) can't remember when you did that cause if you remembered it that would mean you're not a victim and maybe life isn't all about you. Maybe you don't need to be in his face every second of his free time? Maybe if he's upset he's not mad at you.

That said, you know you are free to leave the relationship if you think it's not good enough.

[Jesibel]

Well firstly- "not unusual for a woman" is a bs statement. I've encountered plenty of men that were overly sensitive themselves and before you assume none of those guys were gay. So that's not a legit statement. Second yeah i I've been in his shoes in the past but I wasn't given the space even when asked and was forced to talk about whatever my issue was. Cuz unlike him I'll give him his space and respect if he don't want to talk about it. But I do find it unfair with all that said. But he shouldn't come home taking the shit that happened at work out on me if there was a issue at work. And if for some reason I did something wrong that I wasn't. Aware of then don't treat me like shit and not tell me what I did to deserve it. And lastly, the world don't revolve around me. My world revolves around him. I'm the one who wakes up every morning before 6am with him to get him coffee get him something to eat if he's in the mood to eat before leaving gather the stuff to make sure it lunch bag is ready to go for when he walks out the door to go to work, not to mention make sure all his clothes are washed dried folded constantly jumps up whenever he needs cooks his dinner prepares his lunch for the next day and grocery shop s and makes sure he. Has snacks and anything else he needs etc etc. So like I said this world nor anybody else's world revolve around me.

[hahahmm]

"I've encountered plenty of men that were overly sensitive themselves " -- Yes, because many men today were raised by single moms who usually have no clue how to raise a man into a boy so they raise a boy into a guy who thinks & acts like a woman. And a lot of dads today are soft too so even boys with a dad at home don't have a good role model. I never said there aren't any men who act like women. I did say it's not unusual for a woman to be "overly sensitive" -- this means from the male POV. From your own POV you could be a beacon of emotional stability.

[hahahmm]

" But he shouldn't come home taking the shit that happened at work out on me" -- You're contradicting yourself. Earlier you said you give him his space. But in your original post you say he comes home & sits on the porch looking grumpy. YOU go into his space and then get annoyed that he looks at you without switching moods. You're holding him to a higher standard than you hold yourself too. You did to him exactly what you say he did to you: " i I've been in his shoes in the past but I wasn't given the space even when asked and was forced to talk about whatever my issue was" -- except instead of forcing him to talk, you're trying to force him to look at you a certain way. This goes back to what I said: "Maybe you don't need to be in his face every second of his free time? Maybe if he's upset he's not mad at you." And "Overly sensitive - but not unusual for a woman."

"lastly, the world don't revolve around me. My world revolves around him. I'm the one who wakes up every morning before 6am with him to get him coffee get him something to eat if he's in the mood to eat before leaving gather the stuff to make sure it lunch bag is ready to go..." - And does he not do anything for you? I'm not saying it has to be the same thing but something. And if he doesn't why are you being a doormat? But if you say he is... then it's balanced. He doesn't owe you 100% happy face 24/7 because you made him a sandwich. Otherwise that'd mean you owe him 100% happy face because he helped fix your car or was your human body guard when some dude wanted to beat/rape you. But we know you giving that 100% of the time happy face isn't going to happen. You women reserve the right to need emotional support, right? Right. I get it tho... basically he's being too much of a downer for you. He doesn't jump when you say, 'hi!". He doesn't smile like a circus clown with a painted on smile when you walk into view. I understand.

[Jesibel]

Look if he comes home giving me attitude and I ask him what's wrong if he don't want to tell me then I simply walk away from him. Which sucks after looking forward all day for him to get back home.

[hahahmm]

It sucks but it's what men do. Deal with it like we deal with your random mood swings, monthly mood swings. I've had women wake up from a nightmare and tell me with a straight face that because I did something bad to me IN A DREAM that she's mad at me. Ha ha ha ha.

[horatiohornblower]

When he looks like that. Just give him a half hour without talking to him, no fussing and trying to get him stuff or trying to make it better. Definitely no questions. Just give him a chance to unwind and relax in his own way.

That’s usually all the guy is looking for. Then he’ll be ready after recharging some. If he’s introverted. He really needs this alone time.

It’s not you. Really he doesn’t want to be around anyone at this time.

[TrueConfection]

He's probably trying to get past the negative emotions from his day so he doesn't bring them home and take his frustrations out on the wrong people (you). I think he's being very sweet and thoughtful of you.

Giving him that time and space is not much to ask. If you notice him unwinding before he comes in, you could spend that time doing something to make him extra cheerful when he does walk in (i. e., have a glass of wine ready for him, make him a tasty appetizer, put on his favorite lingerie😉, etc.).

[TrueConfection]

Regarding your update: If he's upset and it has something to do with you, that would be passive aggressive behavior. You can't do anything about it except choose joy over getting sucked into his misery. Make that glass of wine for yourself.

[DaveJord]

I don't think you're wrong, but he's apparently under some kind of stress.

[jasco]

Some people really don't like work, sometimes it's best to leave him