Would you believe your partner if they constantly made excuses not to have sex with you?

[Finchie40]

Your partner all of a sudden stops showing you affection and when you try to initiate sex with them they say they aren’t in the mood or they are stressed out etc.. you get sexually frustrated to the point that this is going on for way to long and you tried everything to make them want you again to the point you are tired of being pushed away, left feeling unloved and wanted , So Would you trust them that they are telling you the truth? or would you feel like they are up to no good and making you feel like a sitting duck? Would you wait around or would you dump them and find someone else that wants to be with you? In most cases this is where people tend to cheat in relationships, I have slept with married women that I didn’t know were married until after the fact , that confessed to me as to why they cheated on their husbands and this was the answer I received , I also met married guys that cheated on their wives cuz the sex died down and the wives made them feel unloved and wanted , sadly I witnessed this so many times happening in long term relationships and marriages to the point I can see why cheating might become someone’s option , even though cheating is so wrong period but when the sex dies down and the affection is gone and the one partner is left being unfulfilled to the point they feel they are just being used , it’s pretty much abuse is the way I look at it on their part, My opinion You should never make your partner feel not loved or valued or wanted whether you are stressed out or upset you should value your partner and make them feel valued , To me sex is one of the best stress relievers , so when a partner says they are stressed and doesn’t want to have sex with you makes no sense what so ever to me This is one way I can see cheating is somewhat necessary , I know a lot of you will not agree with this, but this is something I have experienced and witnessed in today’s world. So What would you do if this was happening to you?

[heybooitsme]

I would connect the dots, if they are telling mw they are stressed out etc I would ask what is stressing them out. A lot of things can affect someone's libido, stress basically kills it. They could also be depressed, anxious, have a lot going on in their head so it's normal and I would give that person space. But if I see that what they are telling me isn't true I would suspect they just simply don't want to have sex with me in particular. like for example if they say they are depressed while they clearly aren't or if they say they are stressed when there is nothing stressing them out and they clearly aren't that's when it's a no for me.

[PrettyPriya]

I would sit down any have a discussion about why there was a lack of intimacy. Of course I would believe my SO if there was a logical answer as to why.

The thing to remember is to approach the conversation as positive as possible, as often the reason for not wanting intimacy may be embarrassing. Example: many medical reasons for a decline in sex drive.

That is hard to accept and deal with sometimes. It can lead to mental stress.

[Drumlin2001]

Haven't been getting much recently, I know her reasons are genuine though. It's getting tougher, i like sex and it's been a while since we were having it regularly. I'm having a vasectomy in a couple. of weeks, hopefully when I heal from that she'll be feeling better herself and we can get back to it.

[Anonymous]

I am someone who has low libido to the point I can’t have sex all that often because it can be quite painful and uncomfortable for me your lucky if you get sex once every few month even with a lot of foreplay happening and it sucks and is super embarrassing one time I tried having sex but I burst into tears because it was just too painful for me no matter what we tried thankfully the guy was extremely understanding and caring and didn’t force me to continue he still in my life to this day

So knowing this is something I experience when it comes to sex if someone stop wanting sex cheating would be the furthest from my mind I would actually sit down with them and talk with that person in a calm voice

[Trevorrow]

Honestly relationship is not the same as friendship. If there is no sex, it therefore means that your spouse no longer sees you as a relationship material, and slowly his/her love is beginning to fade away. This can be a huge sign that the person will later cheat.

[DizzyDesii]

I’d be paranoid that they either no longer find me sexually attractive or they’re getting sex elsewhere. Either way, ima give yo ass another good 1-3 months to pull that shit together or im out

[Subarugirl]

You're gonna have to decide weather your wife is more important or sex is. You didn't marry sex you married yourspouse. Would you rather she just sit there and take even if she doesn't want it?

[Finchie40]

That’s the problem with relationships, people tend to get bored of each other and resent each other and point the finger at each other , instead of looking at the positives of their partner they instantly point out their flaws , to the point you both just become room mates playing house together , the romance and passion fades away , to the point you start blaming your partner for why things have died down , you are right and they are wrong , just because you love someone unconditionally it doesn’t mean you have to stay with that person if you are feeling unwanted and not desired , and sorry to say but sex is very important in a relationship it’s a way to show each other that you value each other , to make your partner feel that you still value them and appreciate them , most people can’t express their true feelings with words so having sex is a way you both express your love for another , so it’s not fair to the partner that wants to make love to their partner but their partner doesn’t want it and constantly denies them , it’s borderline abuse , I am not saying cuz you denied your partner sex 1 time gives them the right to go bang someone else, but when the issue has been addressed continuously and nothing changes after communicating with them and their feelings doesn’t mean anything , that partner is left with the choice on what they want to do from there , marriage shouldn’t be a trap or a punishment , you are both a team , you married and committed to be there for each other and to make each other your priority , if your partner can’t be your priority then that marriage will not last, you are just wasting your time with someone that just likes the convenience of you , most people are scared to go through divorce because of what was invested in the relationship , house , cars , kids etc. But they live a life with a constant question mark over their head on whether their partner really loves them or not

[Finchie40]

If you can’t wear your partner’s shoes like they wear yours , the relationship will turn to disaster , and they will eventually find someone that makes them feel wanted and desired , guys and girls have feelings , we can only give what we receive , when 1 person is constantly giving without receiving then that is abuse , my ex constantly took advantage of me , made me feel like I had to earn sex from her and meet her needs. For her to even want to have sex with me , but in the beginning I didn’t even have to say a word , she was all over me making me feel loved and valued, but after marriage and kids it slowly started dying down , added stresses money issues we were faced with so many obstacles but we knew we had each other’s backs and did what we had to do to move forward , I worked my ass off to provide for my family and helped around the house but eventually that wasn’t good enough , her selfishness starting taking over the better of her , saying she deserves better , comparing me to other husbands , sadly to say this all started when she joined Facebook and allowing social media to brain wash her and compare her life to others, I became a piece of shit to her , but I stood my ground and loved her even though I was a punching bag , I believed in love and marriage to find out no matter what I did I wasn’t good enough , she ended up cheating on me and that was my final straw for me to kick her to the curb , after My divorce , and taking a long break from dating , I met some really great girls , that made me feel loved again to find out they were secretly married. People today do not know what love is they know how to be selfish , I will not give my heart a 100 percent to someone that makes me feel like a convenience

[WowwGirl]

If someone does that they are cheating

[Subarugirl]

Not necessarily, lots of different reasons can effect libido.

[WowwGirl]

@Subarugirl one mainly

[WowwGirl]

You will see

[Subarugirl]

Honey I can relate to this and I can assure you I am not having an affair….

[Finchie40]

Whether you are having an affair or not , you are only hurting your marriage by making your husband feel that you don’t desire him , whatever issues you are facing you need to get help for it , or your husband is going to resent you and feel unloved and unwanted , you are opening doors in your marriage for your husband to see other opportunities. He has feelings and wants as well , if you can’t make him your priority your marriage will not last , he will distant himself from you and start having a wandering eye , Us males love sex and we thrive off of it , just the way most of us are made , I am not saying he is going to cheat on you but the possibility is there because you are only thinking of yourself , Relationships only work when you both wear each other’s shoes putting yourself in your partners shoes before making decisions makes your partner feel love and valued , when you start putting them last they will do the same in return, Just because you think it’s ok not to have sex your partner might think otherwise , He is a human being with a heart he isn’t a wind up toy at your convenience , i he isn’t the man you want to spend the rest of your life with then you are just wasting your time and his , No one said marriage was easy , but the only way it works is if you both make it work stop thinking of yourself , you aren’t single anymore , you didn’t get married to be single , if you did then be prepared for divorce

[WowwGirl]

@Subarugirl it doesn't have to be physical I should add

[Subarugirl]

If you’re not turned on and aroused you cannot just force it. it doesn’t work that way