Fuck me, I can really imagine a guy from my neck of the woods ordering his wife to do something.
Even worse in the likes of Scotland, they would just gut the guy.
thinking through this, I’m not really sure there are times when I would have asked my ex wife to obey me.
we had deliberately removed that from the vows as it’s like 6th century thinking. it’s about like talking to anyone, you do it with a level of respect and being nice, no matter if wife, girlfriend, daughter, son, a friend etc.
i mean I spent a good part of my adult life ordering people around, so I do know how to do it. Equally I’ve been on the receiving end of orders and know how they work.
it must be a nightmare for women in some parts of the lesser developed countries where the likes of this is even thought about.
The clue really starts of when first dating, Girl FRIEND, that friend bit remains even when married, if anything it grows and grows. Why would anyone treat the person they love worse than they would a friend?
easy way to lose friends is to expect them to obey you and do as you command.
no real difference with your lifetime friend aka your wife, partner, love, etc.
The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as one wants to be treated.
Considering I am more safety-minded than most people I've met, I would expect her to obey if I speak about safety measures. This assumes my competence. When it comes to safety, she should not question my decisions if time does not permit. Either she trusts me with her safety or she doesn't. If she does, she should listen. I'm not some expert, but I have been in towards many dozen fights at the minimum (was a daily occurrence at my first school) , I did martial arts (karate, aikido, juijutsu) from the age 5 to 15, I am very conscious of my surroundings, I can shoot more or less. I know the feeling of a fight and of a standoff (not with guns, just a potential fist fight — though one guy did have a BB gun). I have a little bit more experience than most people I've met. Incomparable to a guy I know who has 10 000x more experience than me. Nevertheless, enough not to ignore my suggestions at the minimum. I have seen how other people act and I can visibly see I think more about potential dangers. Thus, I do expect she listen to me if she trusts me.
A woman/wife is your partner.. You communicate with your partner, you don't give commands and expect her to obey you... Relationships aren't meant to be about having power and control over someone. . And if you think they are, maybe you should stay single till you understand what love/relationships/marriage is really about
Now that I have some time before dinner, I would love to address this.
I'm not married. However, that is of little consequence. My SO would never, ever think something as stupid as this. In fact, he is a few feet away from me. I asked him about this question. His response was...
"I would smack someone silly that thought like that"
I believe him. I also wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that. What the hell is your problem? I'm guessing, by the abundance of responses from women, you should have either rethought your question or not asked at all.
He is religious. It is in the Bible prettypriya. Why would you slap someone for asking a question of GAG. You deserve to be slapped for that in my opinion. I could understand if it wasn't public domain. I could see if it wasn't a site about asking questions; a site where dumb questions are at a premium.
Obedience meant something else back then. It had a different meaning then what obey means today.
You also have to remember the bible was originally written in ancient Hebrew and some of the words didn't exactly translate right.
For instance the word meek which means something along the lines of being weak in today's world had a different meaning in the biblically times, it actually meant quite opposite of today's meaning.
You should respectfully keep those things in mind before making naïve comments.
And that's the part in which I agree 100% with feminism - One of the only parts - She's your life partner, someone you enjoy spending time with, someone whom you'd actually trust her judgement and opinion, as much as she trusts yours, and this one is common sense but I'll say it - she's the woman you love - You see her "obeying" you as a sign of respect - Well imagine her or anyone ordering you around you'd take their teeth out just like I would (please don't tell me "well in the military..") - Let alone someone you actually love it's too belittling for any human..
A man has to be such that a women will obey him. Women will complain about a question like this but at the end of the day all women want - yet they will always deny- a man who is self assured and takes control.
A wimpy man will not be able to get his wife to do anything. The man must be strong and stoic and keep his frame with his women. He must not stoop to her level of emotionalism or pettiness. Sadly this has been lost in our modern society. Men are now encouraged to show their heart on their sleeves, to openly cry, to engage in gossip and pettiness and to simp to women. With these modern day men in mind it is understandable why so many women get pissed with guys ; on a subconscious level these women hate weak men but they secretly desire a man who takes control.
Not at all. My wife isn't my property. She's my best friend and closest confidant. I want her in my life because I trust her with literally everything. That includes what's best for myself and our children. She's my second set of eyes, and my extension to the neighborhood, while I am the bread winner. Due to our different roles in the household, its natural for her to know things that I may not (just like I will know things that she doesn't).
I don't want someone who won't question my judgement if they believe it's flawed, but someone who will talk to me when she believes I'm being irrational. Of course, HOW she questions my judgement matters. Both my wife and I believe that such things should be done in private, between the two of us, rather than to do so openly in front of others.
Im married for 9 years. Its not about obeying commands. Its about whether he or she gives a shit about whats important to you. I dont stage requests to my wife as a command. No marriage should involve commanding each other. What is this, the military? I tell her what I need her help with. Up to her if she does it or not. Sometimes she doesn't give a shit or she is lazy. Does that make her a bad wife? Does it make me a bad husband if I fail at listening yo her? No. It means we need to keep working at it. Cuz thats what marriage is.
I'd usually rather make requests than demands. But it's important that you specified that she doesn't have to always follow blindly. If she has eyes, they serve a purpose. And I would very much like to know if something has slipped my notice. As long as she isn't demeaning, degrading, cruel, lying, manipulative, gaslighting, juvenile, disrespectful, or some other form of abuse or stupidity, then I am prepared to consider her input before asking her to do anything.
How she treats me when I'm struggling, is how she'll treat the children if we have any. If her maternal instinct is miserably inadequate, I don't want to be her means of becoming a mother. My seed deserves better than that.
(This is only a What-If from me. As I haven't dated a girl before)
To me, it's more that she only need to be ready for "expectations" from me when we're in bed. (At worst, I would only be disappointed) But outside of there, it should only be mild/"optional". "Only if you are ok with it. :)" (Or) "I'd appreciate that. ... As long as it does NOT come at the cost of yourself. So to speak."
However, besides the aformentioned 2, it would be the opposite on HER end however. By which I mean that I value my freedom, and I will NOT tolerate ANY form of control.
I don't think that a wife should "obey" her husband as it is not the right word, but I can see your point of view and I agree with it too. I think a wife would follow her husband if she likes him and sees him a competent and trusts him. I would follow my husband direction if I knew that he had my best interest and if I knew that he would give his life for me. I see your point of view as I think that if I don't follow my husband it means that I don't really like him.
the proposition of her being beneath me has always left me sad tbh. I want an equal. An equal will have a better conversation with you, get you, better support you, share your struggles. Someone beneath you tends to not be able to really do this. Plus if I love her she's like the best thing that's ever happened to me, my #1, I want her to share in all things with me.
Obey is the wrong word. I think trust and honesty in communication is important, so if you ask her to do something and there’s any issue, it can be talked about. If she doesn’t want to do something, like go pick something up or run an errand than it’s fine, but I would be upset if I asked her to do something and she said she would and didn’t.
"You don't refer to a wife or husband as a damn partner". That's fuckin' literally EXACTLY what you refer to a wife or a husband as. I mean, I personally prefer the term paramour but they are definitely a type of partner. Wtf do you refer to it as?
@dankstranger It really isn't, don't do that man, don't fuckin' normalize this dude's fucked up unhealthy views on relationships.
@goaded: The man is the head of the wife as a general is the head of a lieutenant.
You think having authority over a wife means to treat her less than which it absolutely not means that which scumbag of some men do think and treat their wives less than.
I want to thank you gentlemen. @darkstranger @InventorofWarp@goaded for talking some much needed sense.
I'm half tempted to remove this question all together for trolling or offensive. I think, for now, I will leave it for all to see this user's true colors.
@PrettyPriya Yeah this idiot seems to post shit like this pretty often with really dumb and intentionally offensive shit to stir the pot. Little advice dude: If you didn't do this you probably wouldn't be single and would be getting laid.
Him: Get in the car! Now! Her: Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? You don't command me! I'm your wife, not your property... Him: *Drives off without her* Her: *Gets eaten by the zombie hoard he was trying to save her from, but didn't have time to ask her nicely when she was in just the right mood*
I’m very flexible with my future wife I’m not looking for a Yes woman or a puppet I want good wisdom out of her but I also want her to respect me when something needs to be done that’s important
That's gonna be your case. I already know I'm going to end up marrying some chick at my church through God's confirmations through signs but even if that wasn't the case then no big deal.
Pretty important. I don't know what morons want to be stuck with a disagreeable woman their whole life just to complain about it constantly. Ik many do but i have zero sympathy for them.
The only commands that matter, are the ones from the divorce court... when they tell you how much of your hard earned money to give her... after she ditches you for being too nice lol.
