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I don't know about western societies but here in India, boys are told from their youngest age possible that they need to earn money, or they are not of any value. Hammered and forced and pressured at the same time. So much so that the dude is not able to tell apart his wishes and the things that are told to him, primarily from his parents.
Whereas for the girls, most of the girls, the situation is very lenient. Parents think in this way; if she performs good in academics then good or she will get married off to some rich guy only.
It is because of this mentality that girls are allowed to be more participating in extra activities. Non-academic courses and other things, that have low chances of earning money, to be told from a boy's point of view. And more on creativity side.
There are very few girls who actually want to do a job that is mandatory for boys.
And it is because of this separate pressure on both the genders, you may see a male dominating family in the US too, of Indian origin. It may not look like it, but upon closer inspection, it is the same.
AND to answer your question, the mentality of boys is completely different than that of girls. 100%.
As you said, most of the girls are more focused on family based, but boys are more focused on securing the near and distant future, at least for themselves, because that is how they are designed from the start.
For me, marriage is simply a social norm. I have not interest in that thing. It is a business deal rather than a real marriage, as per the Indian society. I treat it like a business deal then. No emotions involved.
Ofcourse! Now the exception here is the age at which they mature because some men mature really early on and others never at all haha I personally fall into the mature really on category and I find purpose in building a life for a successful future and a family orientated future, these goals are NOT what the majority of guys my age (early-mid 20s) are thinking about and some females reject this from mature younger guys!
For a man though I think the factors that come into play are things like financial stability, solid foundation, stable household, providing for his partner and children and things like that! In terms of a wedding, I personally want my partner to have the wedding she wants as this is very important and special! So I'm not really thinking about the finer details of the wedding per se, but kids and marriage and a future, 100% on my mind
They do if it's with someone they're really serious about, they'll also tell you they see that future with you.
My partner started talking about it six months in, but he was thinking it within a month of dating.
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Every guy is going to give you a different answer and tbh I fully acknowledge I am not the norm but that's because of lived experiences and life and death struggles throughout my life. I plan several steps ahead and in detail. I plan on the values the kids will have growing up, the kind of home life, hell I got names picked out and all. Ofc I would go over it with her, that goes without saying. But I really want a conservative household in so far as strong family values. I dont want my daughters accepting anything less than a ring from a man.
No single mommies or clinic visits. She'll find a guy who values her and treats her right because she's going to see how i treated her and her mother growing up. Boys will not fall into the dark rabbit hole of seeing every girl as a whore or a stepping stone. They'll be able to look for and find a quality woman. I want them to have a Christian foundation since Christ saved me and fixed my life. I want them to not fall into the same dark traps I fell into. Hell I even have a garden planned out so my family has fresh wholesome foods available always. Maybe a few chickens too XD
Men on average do not fantasize about marriage. Even when I thought of marriage when I was younger it was "I don't know if I even want to be married by 30" lol.
When I was 24 the girl I was dating I was on the edge of proposing to her but never did. But before her I never seriously considered it. One girl brought up the idea and I kinda laughed because we were young and I wanted to live
After the girl I almost proposed to I just reconsidered the idea entirely. It's only in the past year or so that I've pretty much decided to not get married.
I have wanted to have kids/a family of my own since I was a teenager in high school. Yes, I have always thought about the future. Avoiding marriage is thinking about the future too so nobody can steal from me unless she will agree to a prenuptial first where I keep all of my property/assets/money/possessions. If she won't agree to that right away then I won't want her at all ever.
Wanting a good mate and to raise a family has always been something I wanted, I just refuse to get abused to get it. And apparently there are almost no good people. Just a bunch of people that are promiscuous, have kids from someone else, do drugs, heavy drinker, untrustworthy, have bad morals and a bad past, etc. It is nearly impossible to meet an actual GOOD person for an exclusive LTR and to raise a family with.
I used to. I can only speak to my experiences and I don't know if mine is typical.
Of course I've thought about marriage in my younger years. I would even imagine my girlfriend at the time first name with my last name and such. I wouldn't say I'd think about kids as much.
Bit now that I'm older? No! I realize thinking about marriage with most women is wasted energy. I'd rather stay in reality. And the reality is most women (certainly most my age) are incapable of marriage. As a guy the older you get the more careful you have to be in regards to relationships with women.
Men might envision being married, but we don't think about the actual wedding. The wedding is all about the bride, not the groom. I knew I wanted to be married young, and I knew I wanted to have my kids by the time I was 30. That is the extent to which I thought about it. I was engaged at 20, married at 25, a father at 27. My 3rd child was born when I was 31.
I never once imagined what marriage would be like when I was young. I thought about things I might want to teach kids and help them with, but I never once thought about an exact number I wanted or how I would dress them as babies etc.
Men and women don't think the same about this stuff.
I do but I look at the bad parts too. Divorce is expensive. Kids are forever. There can't be good without bad. No marriage is perfect. Plus the sexual relationships these days. I'm not into threesomes or open relationships. Were married to each other and I only want to have sex with her. I hope she feels that way about me.
Sure, but I go deeper than kids. I think about how I can provide for a family and what Iām able to offer my family.
I think some men do but usually at a later age. When I was about 22 I started to plan pretty hard about my future. Before that though I was just living bag of weed to bag of weed.
Always wondered about having kids but not to the degree of fantasising about it or marriage
No honestly the only time I really think about that is when I am in a relationship. Otherwise i stop caring about it
Girls see those things in Disney movies when they are young so it's more of a fantasy for them, than guys.
Never really though much about having kids and such, for or against. That's probably why I don't have any.
The key word here is"USE To"
But men don't need a incentive to get married these days
Without going to cleaners
Lol hasn't happened yet so far.
Maybe when I'm in my 30s.
At this point in life,
I just want to have some fun.
Every guy is different so they will have different views for me i think about where will i be what will I do and who will i be with
They do until the learn about the marriage institution. Then they will quickly realize marriage is more than likely a trap because of how corrupt it is.
I think more about traveling, my career, and my hobbies.
No, We think about the Girl we might spend the rest of our life with.
We don't really think about having a Family and Kids.
I've never wanted to get married and even less to have children lol.
Maybe I'm a guy 😅...
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