Do men think about the future in the same way women do?

[Hellothere543212]

I know many women think about their wedding and have children from a very young age. If not, still many women begin to consider and even fantasise about this quite early on in a relationship. Do men have this sort of attitude?

As a man, do you value marriage and having children? Is it something that excites you or simply a social norm?

[Anonymous]

I don't know about western societies but here in India, boys are told from their youngest age possible that they need to earn money, or they are not of any value. Hammered and forced and pressured at the same time. So much so that the dude is not able to tell apart his wishes and the things that are told to him, primarily from his parents.

Whereas for the girls, most of the girls, the situation is very lenient. Parents think in this way; if she performs good in academics then good or she will get married off to some rich guy only.
It is because of this mentality that girls are allowed to be more participating in extra activities. Non-academic courses and other things, that have low chances of earning money, to be told from a boy's point of view. And more on creativity side.

There are very few girls who actually want to do a job that is mandatory for boys.

And it is because of this separate pressure on both the genders, you may see a male dominating family in the US too, of Indian origin. It may not look like it, but upon closer inspection, it is the same.

AND to answer your question, the mentality of boys is completely different than that of girls. 100%.
As you said, most of the girls are more focused on family based, but boys are more focused on securing the near and distant future, at least for themselves, because that is how they are designed from the start.

For me, marriage is simply a social norm. I have not interest in that thing. It is a business deal rather than a real marriage, as per the Indian society. I treat it like a business deal then. No emotions involved.

[Hellothere543212]

That is very sad! It almost materialises things that should be about love and happiness.

[Opinion Owner]

Not almost, but surely.
I have heard that some people tell the groom's family to bring passbooks with them. Otherwise it is okay if they don't come.
It is so weird that I sometimes laugh out of it.

Girls may not be gold diggers, but the family surely is.

I understand the need to feel secure, but when you solely focus on money, it is gold digging.
Secure is when the husband is good. If he is not good and has plenty of money, then the house and life may become a prison for the wife.

Money is not the end of the problems, but on the contrary, it is the beginning of the problems.

Please reply if you read this. The response I got was not I expected. That means you are different and better than other girls comparatively.

[Hellothere543212]

I guess that is just how that society operates, but it is so sad that people may sacrifice ever being in a loving relationship for security. I would criticise a female for doing this, if she was purely wanting security for herself but if her family are encouraging it then it is a tough position for her. Hopefully times are progressing and this will be something of the past in the not too distant future!

[MarkyyG123]

Ofcourse! Now the exception here is the age at which they mature because some men mature really early on and others never at all haha I personally fall into the mature really on category and I find purpose in building a life for a successful future and a family orientated future, these goals are NOT what the majority of guys my age (early-mid 20s) are thinking about and some females reject this from mature younger guys!

For a man though I think the factors that come into play are things like financial stability, solid foundation, stable household, providing for his partner and children and things like that! In terms of a wedding, I personally want my partner to have the wedding she wants as this is very important and special! So I'm not really thinking about the finer details of the wedding per se, but kids and marriage and a future, 100% on my mind

[Pistolpete90]

They do if it's with someone they're really serious about, they'll also tell you they see that future with you.

My partner started talking about it six months in, but he was thinking it within a month of dating.

[BlackCatBone]

I've never wanted to get married and even less to have children lol.
Maybe I'm a guy 😅...

[t-8900]

Every guy is going to give you a different answer and tbh I fully acknowledge I am not the norm but that's because of lived experiences and life and death struggles throughout my life. I plan several steps ahead and in detail. I plan on the values the kids will have growing up, the kind of home life, hell I got names picked out and all. Ofc I would go over it with her, that goes without saying. But I really want a conservative household in so far as strong family values. I dont want my daughters accepting anything less than a ring from a man.

No single mommies or clinic visits. She'll find a guy who values her and treats her right because she's going to see how i treated her and her mother growing up. Boys will not fall into the dark rabbit hole of seeing every girl as a whore or a stepping stone. They'll be able to look for and find a quality woman. I want them to have a Christian foundation since Christ saved me and fixed my life. I want them to not fall into the same dark traps I fell into. Hell I even have a garden planned out so my family has fresh wholesome foods available always. Maybe a few chickens too XD

[Diodoro]

Men on average do not fantasize about marriage. Even when I thought of marriage when I was younger it was "I don't know if I even want to be married by 30" lol.

When I was 24 the girl I was dating I was on the edge of proposing to her but never did. But before her I never seriously considered it. One girl brought up the idea and I kinda laughed because we were young and I wanted to live

After the girl I almost proposed to I just reconsidered the idea entirely. It's only in the past year or so that I've pretty much decided to not get married.

[HighValue]

I have wanted to have kids/a family of my own since I was a teenager in high school. Yes, I have always thought about the future. Avoiding marriage is thinking about the future too so nobody can steal from me unless she will agree to a prenuptial first where I keep all of my property/assets/money/possessions. If she won't agree to that right away then I won't want her at all ever.

Wanting a good mate and to raise a family has always been something I wanted, I just refuse to get abused to get it. And apparently there are almost no good people. Just a bunch of people that are promiscuous, have kids from someone else, do drugs, heavy drinker, untrustworthy, have bad morals and a bad past, etc. It is nearly impossible to meet an actual GOOD person for an exclusive LTR and to raise a family with.

[Anonymous]

I used to. I can only speak to my experiences and I don't know if mine is typical.
Of course I've thought about marriage in my younger years. I would even imagine my girlfriend at the time first name with my last name and such. I wouldn't say I'd think about kids as much.
Bit now that I'm older? No! I realize thinking about marriage with most women is wasted energy. I'd rather stay in reality. And the reality is most women (certainly most my age) are incapable of marriage. As a guy the older you get the more careful you have to be in regards to relationships with women.

[godfatherfan]

Men might envision being married, but we don't think about the actual wedding. The wedding is all about the bride, not the groom. I knew I wanted to be married young, and I knew I wanted to have my kids by the time I was 30. That is the extent to which I thought about it. I was engaged at 20, married at 25, a father at 27. My 3rd child was born when I was 31.

[Hellraiser1984]

I do but I look at the bad parts too. Divorce is expensive. Kids are forever. There can't be good without bad. No marriage is perfect. Plus the sexual relationships these days. I'm not into threesomes or open relationships. Were married to each other and I only want to have sex with her. I hope she feels that way about me.

[OfDeath]

I never once imagined what marriage would be like when I was young. I thought about things I might want to teach kids and help them with, but I never once thought about an exact number I wanted or how I would dress them as babies etc.

Men and women don't think the same about this stuff.

[Not_Average]

Sure, but I go deeper than kids. I think about how I can provide for a family and what I’m able to offer my family.

[boggboss]

Always wondered about having kids but not to the degree of fantasising about it or marriage

[Jay3344]

I think some men do but usually at a later age. When I was about 22 I started to plan pretty hard about my future. Before that though I was just living bag of weed to bag of weed.

[jasco]

No honestly the only time I really think about that is when I am in a relationship. Otherwise i stop caring about it

[Yourfriend2021]

Girls see those things in Disney movies when they are young so it's more of a fantasy for them, than guys.

[zagor]

Never really though much about having kids and such, for or against. That's probably why I don't have any.

[bgreek]

The key word here is"USE To"
But men don't need a incentive to get married these days
Without going to cleaners

[KingofCups]

Lol hasn't happened yet so far.
Maybe when I'm in my 30s.
At this point in life,
I just want to have some fun.

[emperor90]

Every guy is different so they will have different views for me i think about where will i be what will I do and who will i be with

[StickStickity13]

I think more about traveling, my career, and my hobbies.

[Anonymous]

They do until the learn about the marriage institution. Then they will quickly realize marriage is more than likely a trap because of how corrupt it is.

[Anonymous]

No, We think about the Girl we might spend the rest of our life with.
We don't really think about having a Family and Kids.

[TallAnon]

No two men think the same thing, no two women think the same thing. Some will, some won't.

[Seangreen]

Any day above ground is a good day

[TrillXHippy]

I think about marriage and having kids

[TheFlak38]

nice joke