I have been in three relationships with three different boys when I was 12 years old. Of course, we didn't date all at the same time.
The first one was very tall. He asked me out on my first day coming to a new school. I felt uneasy around him. I had had this thing with men of my race... African-American. Since I grew up with a stepdad who had always yelled and gotten temper tantrums and verbally abused me and his two children (I'm the oldest), I became very uncomfortable around men and other boys my age.
My first boyfriend looked and felt very intimidating to me. I myself could not approach him to strike up a conversation. All he wanted from me was sex. The very thought of it kinda scared me. I know I was a horny ass child, but sex really had me afraid. We broke up because I wouldn't have sex with him. (More like he broke up with me).
My second was sort of a class clown. I still couldn't strike up a conversation. When I tell you, this white kid was bad, like... All talk bad, he's bad lol. He broke up with me. I was nothing but a side chick from school.
My third was shorter than me. He was 15 at the time... You couldn't really tell. He was a genuine one. He was sweet. He still is... to his new girlfriend, who is protective. We broke up all because of someone from my old school getting transferred to the one I am at now. There was an announcement. My boyfriend asked me if she was hot. I could feel something bad was gonna happen. I shrugged my shoulders because little me couldn't really tell apart hot, cute, pretty, beautiful, average and sexy. I still can't now. Anyway, she walks in. Takes her assigned seat. My boyfriend asked if it would be ok if we had a threesome relationship. I was moderately ok with it. He asked the new girl out and told her that he was dating me. She didn't like the idea. So he broke up with me.
What I've learned: make sure to form a connection/bond with someone before befriending or dating them.
I know no one asked for this, but I had hooked up with my first ex on the 7th of this month. I don't care if he only told my little sister that he wanted to date me just for sex or that was his aim all along, I just don't care either way. I've never thought that I'd ever hook up with him. I don't know if we're together or not, I am not optimistic.
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You can't make someone love you. No matter how much you want to be with them, if they don't love you the best you can do is move on.
A few. Here are two things some ex-girlfriends have said that really stuck with me.
I dated a public defender briefly. I asked her "Is it difficult dealing with those people?"
She said something I have never forgotten. "That's just your problem. You think of them as 'those people.'" (paraphrasing) "You could be one of 'those people' at any time. Not everyone charged is guilty, and not everyone guilty deserves the penalty asked for by the prosecution." We didn't date very long. I hope she is well and happy today.
Another ex-girlfriend, and engineer, was having some difficulty getting co-operation from some older male technicians. She explained to me how she solved this problem. She didn't pull rank. Instead she thought about why they were hesitant to do the work she needed, where they were in their careers, and then how she could make them feel comfortable doing what she asked. Seems simple but it opened my eyes. I used to just jump up and down insisting that I was right. I usually was, but it didn't help.
dont ever put anyone first before you and don't trust anyone. If they are constantly paranoid about YOU cheating its PROBABLY because they are actually cheating and DONT EVER DO ANYTHING for someone that they can do for themselves. Also learn what a narcissist is and what to do if someone has the characteristics of a narcissist POS
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When relationships don't work, it doesn't mean that anyone has done something wrong or that someone is at fault. It just means the two of you are not sufficiently aligned to go through life as partners.
- Once a cheater always a cheater
- Don’t dismiss red flags and expect said red flag to go away
- Don't date someone who is heavily influenced by their mother as a fully grown adult
- Don’t date someone who puts their addictions as priority over their basic needs ie shelter, food & water
- Don’t date someone with little to no libido
- Don’t date someone who talks badly about all of their exes - chances are if you break up, even if it was their fault, they will put the blame on you and talk badly about you to anyone who will listen
- Don’t date someone who has no friends or family in their life. There’s always a reason why they can’t maintain connections or platonic relationships-Love them no more than they love you.
-Its okay to compromise interests but they are not the one for you if you have to sacrifice your morals/values/goals/beliefs.
-Only go for go-getters who know what they want, when they want it, how they want it, and if they want it with you and wre actively working towards getting it.
-Put your relationship with God first and he will work everything out when it needed.
-Stay aware but dont make assumptions nor have as many expectations.
-If he can't patiently wait til you’re ready, then he’s not the one for you.
-Learn his priorities early on to know where you stand and how long you’ll stand there.
-Communication is key.It's fun, it's hard, wonderful when you communicating, it's alright to argue and fight (without hurting each other), the solo time is nice and so does the time you spend together doing nothing or doing something new, or the things you usually do. There will be tears, good and bad ones, there will be laughs too. Teaching each other is fun, demanding? Not so much. Going to a psychologist/therapy together does not mean you have problems but it will teach you how to maintain the relation nice and sound. Both doing things at home helps each other to save energy and spend more time together or maybe a little bit of solo time.
Love yourself more than you love them. Never ever make them your first priority. Don't put them on the pedestal. Don't get manipulated and feel sorry for them. If they let you go you should also let them go and if they come back to you don't take them back.
A healthy, long lasting relationship can't be based on sex alone, even though sex is important.
Open, honest, loving and caring communication is critical.
Mutual, regard, respect, thoughtfulness, and most of all, trust, are necessary for true love.If somebody makes a point of mentioning a specific thing they don't like other people doing/doing to them, they'll probably do it to you. In fact, as a general rule; consider any statements along those lines as red flags.
For example: if somebody makes an intentional point to say "I never want to be taken for granted ever again." You can bet your next paycheck that they'll take you for granted.
The subconscious feels the need to broadcast its intentions that way, for whatever reason.Take things slow, learn to trust and respect each other.
that trust is hard to earn but easy to lose.
that they do not need to end on bad terms.As a whole, I've learned just not to have anymore. And all it took was 4 of them plus an attempt at seeing where things would go in order to possibly start a 5th but that went bad real quick. So yeah. I've learned not to have anymore relationships. All I need are friends
Black and white clothes shouldn't be put together in the laundry.
Don't have too much fun if your girl is angry. You have to pretend like it is bothering you.
Girls get in a better mood on PMS if you pound them like an animal.
We should respond more to our Facebook messages.
Don't eat food you dropped even on a very clean floor two seconds after you dropped it. It will give you AIDS.
Don't tell her she looks ugly even if she does.My husband and I have been together in some way for 11 years (married 3.5). We grew up together. We're high school sweethearts. We've had to adjust as we've grown. We've learned to communicate effectively, disagree without fighting, love each other in our specific love languages, how to be on the same team, and how to work together.
We have to remember that it's not him vs me when it comes to a problem, it's us vs the problem because he and I are a team.To not become co-dependent on each other for happiness and to not "lose yourself" with the person that you're with. From my experience and from what my friends say from theirs it's pretty easy to lose yout sense of identity when you're in love with someone.
from all the ones i have been in and the ones around me. they seem to not be worth the effort anymore. the best ones still come across as cheesey soap-opera-esque by being full of bs drama, fleeting at best, and more about seeing what can be gained by it instead of what you can put into it.
That by the time I meet a mature kind guy (probably when I’m 35) having kids will already come with way too many risks for it to be worth it. Guys suck and they can’t grow up
Women are best treated as disposable. There are almost no good ones. No matter how rich or good looking a man is, he will never get a truly amazing woman because our society raises women to be crap honestly. So best to just fuck around and never marry so you can keep upgrading constantly.
Don't fall for somebody until you know they care as much about you as you do about them.
I have been cheated 3 times from 3 different women, and what i have learned is that.
One shouldn't give up on giving his/her heart to the next one, there is always someone who will truly love you, but, always give this red flag and tell them seriously that if they lie to you at least once its over, because small lies, bring big lies, and later on cheating and infidelity.
in summary: Honesty and Communication are Mandatory.That "love"
Is basics like we tell ourselves about it and it becomes a necessity to be in "love" or feel as such.
But I no longer believe the truth about this situation this so called "love"
I'm just lost in my world of failures. Sorry to be as morbidly intolerant to this question but I personally, I don't believe it's real and if so its fairytales nothings forever blah blah blah sheeshah... y.😔✌🤨🤔🤯That I can get away from any attachment I feel I can't.
It's more interesting when the person you're dating matches your crazy
Serious relationships can be scaryPeople will be unfaithful if they feel they can get away with it.
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