I know you must feel it is not worth losing a family for that night. But it was not an accident. It was your choice. A wrong one, but you chose doing it and you did it and now you had to face the consequences.
If you still love your wife, then keep doing what would help her and the kids without thinking being repaid in any kinds of ways. Do some deep self-reflection how that happened. Was there a marriage issue that you were trying to look away from? Was that due to your level of self-control? Was it mid-age crisis? Talk to a therapist if you can. Do not rush to beg your wife to come back. This is a huge thing and it would leave a scar forever in your relationship with your ex- wife. You both need time and reflections to digest what has happened. Before you figuring all that out, rushing to be back to her can be a sign of "dependency" "guilt" "fear of loss" but not necessarily love.
Be there for her and kids but keep a distance so you can think, she can think.
Most Helpful Opinions
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Conquer it? You can't undo what you did. Where you should have conquered it was when you got invited to that girls room and by "it" I mean your libido.
You had a family and you tossed that away on one night of sex. One night. Think of those nights you could have been spending with your sons in the future are now most likely gone for one single night.
I won't beat you up anymore on this. The next steps are up to your wife. You can apologize until you are blue in the face but in the end it is ultimately up to her what she chooses to do. For your sake, maybe you can convince her to try therapy with you.
That was not an accident. You didn't crash any cars or equipment.
You cheated on her and then you want her back. That's not how it works.
You deserve all of the consequences.
Now deal with it and leave her be.
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Live, learn and move on. And I agree, therapy will help you move on from this.
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