Why do some people think that everyone will eventually cheat?

Question

I know some people have bad experiences, but I'm generally curious what people's reasons are for assuming everyone cheats in relationships and why

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because most people get bored with each other or one loves the other more than the other loves them , Especially nowadays with how social media has been brainwashing people to believe everyone is a cheater or the grass is greener on the other side , When people can’t remove selfishness for each other that’s when shit hits the fan , if you can’t water the grass you are already standing on be prepared to keep continuing with failed relationships, We as people can only guide someone to stand by our side but we can’t force them , if they choose to walk away, let them go , value yourself worth and realize you can only give what you want to receive and vice versa , if someone chooses to cheat on you , they are a selfish piece of shit that only really cares about themselves , they don’t value or love you , it hurts like hell to be cheated on and no one wants to be cheated on by someone we give our heart to and been fighting for , but realize you deserve better than that , find someone that wears your shoes like You wear theirs , remove selfishness for each other and sacrifice for each other , it won’t always be perfect and you won’t always get your way but if you sit down with your partner and fix things with them love will grow, if you choose selfishness then be prepared to have failed relationships. Me personally doesn’t get into a relationship to be single , but if I am treated like shit and disrespected and feel like she doesn’t love or value me anymore and with holds sex and affection from me and treats me like a convenience, I will sit her Down and express my feelings of concern to her , but I will not be a sitting duck and a punching bag for long if she can’t give me valid reasons as to why she is being this way towards me , if shit doesn’t change, I am making my plans to move on if I end up cheating on her, then that’s my answer that I don’t love and value her and that I threw in the towel , I will dump her ass right then and there , I am not going To go back to someone that I don’t love and value and fight for , cheaters that go back to their partners do that are the biggest pieces of shit on this planet and little do they know Karma will catch up to them and kick them in the ass. Sadly most people will cheat before they end a relationship cuz most people are scared to be alone and yes it’s fucked up but sadly that’s what most people do Either which way it doesn’t really matter , cuz that person is over you , whether they are a coward or strong enough to walk away without cheating , everyone is different in that aspect , Bottom line is you have to value yourself worth and realize you deserve someone that will fight to be by your side and not waste your time with someone that just likes the convenience of you , Always remember there was a time that you were single and that you can go back to that way before you met them , treat your partner the same way you want to be treated that’s all we can really do , if their selfishness takes the better of them then they don’t value you , go find someone that does

TonyV · Accepted Answer

Some people just don't handle hard times or conflict well and they end up painting an entire group with a broad brush. It's usually people who try to date up, always chasing the hot men/women that have tons of options and don't take relationships seriously, they keep chasing the wrong people for the wrong reasons and just decide everyone is shit, they don't learn from their mistakes.
It's just sexism, they have preconceived notions and pregatist based on their sex.

It's no different than a racist, "my shit got stolen by a blank* and I've heard someone else had something stolen by a blank* there for every blank* steals.

"Both me and my friend have been cheated on by a girl so clearly they all cheat"

It's a false equivalency argument, and further more It's usually the person's own fault cause they keep going for the same type, they never stop to think " they look like my ex, have the same taste and fashion as my ex, have similar interests and opinions as my ex, just really remind me of my ex. . . . I'm sure it will be different this time."

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

There is different definitions of cheating, some will consider just flirting with another guy, unintentionally as cheating while some think they can do anything and everything beyond actual intercourse and it isn't cheating.

If your the first, and your SO, has a flirty personality and flirts all the time with no realization it is happening, you could think they are cheating on you.

Then there is the whole emotional cheating, but not physical or physical but not emotional.

So many variations, with that many options its easy to see why some would say everyone would eventually cheat.

I do get it though, being cheated on... makes it harder to put your heart out in the future to take the leap, you almost expect the next person you trust to cheat on you.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

Because they have trust issues. They got hurt multiple times or just got betrayed once but they got so deeply affected that they can't help but feel that everyone cheats after some point.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have had two partners who cheated on me. One girl, about 40 years ago, cheated on me with a close friend. In retrospect, I am fortunate that my relationship with her didn't last, but I am still bothered by what she did.

The other cheater was my wife (now ex.) She cheated on me with another woman and I learned only when I was told by a mutual acquaintance. Another relationship that was not meant to be.

It would be easy to assume that all women cheat becaue, then, I would not need to accet responsibility for allowing those two women into my life. But I would also never trust women.

Instead, I have accepted responsibility for my poor choices and I still trust women. I would be shocked beyond belief if my current girlfriend was ever anything other than faithful and loyal.

Sonorous · Answer

Probably because they understand our non-monogamous nature. I mean, there's a reason cheating is so common. It's even more common than we think but many people just get away with it.

silkjames · Answer

People that been hurt carry that betrayal with them forever I seen it through other peeps but me I never cheated it's just foul it's wrong in my mind and it sucks if u are in a relationship and your partner thinks your cheating or going to to cheat when u never did anything wrong for them to ever think that but I understand people get affected by betrayal definitely and it stuck in there minds all I'm saying it's not fair to assume that your new partner cheating when there not just don't cheat break up with that person why hurt someone in that way I don't know

Bel88 · Answer

They must think that what they would do, everyone else would do. It's classic projection. I've never cheated on anyone, and I never will. It's wrong, that's all there is to it.

loveslongnails · Answer

I don't assume that "everyone" will cheat, or does cheat, but I do know what the numbers say. It's difficult to get real numbers on this, because even in anonymous surveys people don't like to admit they have cheated or would cheat.

That said, it's also dependent on culture, country and religion. I can speak to the numbers in the USA, where people actually DO surveys on this stuff! The numbers I've seen indicate 26-38% of married women cheat, 40-58% of married men cheat. The spread is subject to a lot of variables, hence the large gaps.

I haven't seen much data on non-married relationships, but the younger the people involved, the more likely I think it is to happen. So, not ALL, but a noticeable percentage of people do cheat.

Gorge95 · Answer

Controversial opinion: Monogamy is a social construct. And yes I have material that can back this up (men and women but more men than women are inherently non-monogamous). Check out the book “Sex at Dawn) by Christopher Ryan. Tons of empirical research in here.

Lliam · Answer

They are stupid and/or have a warped sense of the world. They obviously don't get out much or know many people.

It's paranoia; fear of getting hurt; fear of taking chances and living life. Better to stay in your room on your electronic device than to learn how to improve yourself and be worthy of love and respect. Better to commiserate with other weak whiners and feel sorry for yourself.

Not_Average · Answer

I think it’s sheer arrogance to say you’d never cheat. Put in the right circumstance for a prolonged period of time, most everyone would do it. Even those with faith. The key to staying faithful is communicating needs, and protecting your relationship from temptations when the relationship becomes difficult. Putting in those safe guards, it’s entirely possible to stay faithful.

ohshee · Answer

If you pay attention to the people who say everyone will cheat its probably because they have cheated before same will someone who is a thief and a liar no matter what the deal is they think everyone is lying to them
because they lie all the time they think everyone is a thief just because they are.
It's really sad..

Alyssa_11 · Answer

I think a lot of people are traumatised. I used to be very traumatised after I got cheated on. But the truth is we can’t condense everyone into male and female, cheaters and non-cheaters categories. We’re all individuals and so different to each other. Just cause something has happened to you in the past, doesn’t mean it’s going to happy again.

fonduegirl · Answer

Mostly such rumours are widely accepted and come from people who have been cheated.

It's like murder in the house. A serial killer came and murdered a whole family and now nobody wants it. Technically, the stats are reduced of it happening again on the same place.

But if it happened to them, why wouldn't it happen to me?

Patmedley26 · Answer

As cliche as it sounds, I blame too much TV, social media, etc. Too many outlets for which people can interpret being in a relationship as "eventually someone's gonna cheat". Some people are also just trained to expect the worst as well... which only hurts that person in the end. Human beings can be quite fickle by nature (not everyone of course), but a lot of people.

Ellie-V · Answer

After the population experiences enough trauma and disappointment, they cope with setting low expectations.
They want the idea of a thriving relationship usually but they are just searching for ways to survive emotionally.

DonkeyDan · Answer

People assume that others will cheat on them usually have self esteem and insecurity issues, the mentality is that they think they aren't good enough for the other person and surely they will find someone better.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Because in 3 relationships I was cheated on and in my only hookup I found I was helped her cheat… hell even my mother cheated…

biggest thing though… I can see myself cheating under the right circumstances. And if I can do it anyone can.

DaveJord · Answer

Well if you have trust issues with people in general then it just becomes a self fulling prophecy. Its usually due to some deep rooted insecurities that people have with themselves.

Wester1967 · Answer

Because so many women are attracted to cheating guys with tons of options. They extrapolate that all men cheat. Good Luck with Chad. I'm no longer interested in this BS

dustybiker · Answer

When you’ve been hurt (or seen someone hurt) it’s natural to assume it’s going to happen again or to you. Defense mechanism.

BeMuse · Answer

They are projecting. They always cheat on the people they date and they'd rather blame other people than to take a look at themselves.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Usually people who think that are the ones who got cheated on and or hurt. which in turn caused them to have trust issues and who knows what else.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Read "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan  and you'll have answers to your questions.

Siren777 · Answer

Trust issues. Unhealed traumatic experience or having been raised in a "broken home".

slatyb · Answer

Everyone doesn't eventually cheat. People who cheat assume that everyone else does too.

AkshiJanjua · Answer

Because of the prevalent hookup and how easy it is to get sex in todays world, also cheating has been glorified somewhat in the media. People have started to view marriage and relationships as a sham

Anonymous · Answer

Because society has deemed it to be okay in having a side piece, or looking for attention through other people. It's honestly really sad.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Because they themselves are cheaters, so they can't comprehend that most people don't cheat.

Socal99 · Answer

Because given the right circumstances they will every fucking person will cheat everybody

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Cause of how easy it is these days to cheat and get away with it

Northernlights25 · Answer

Some people are just prone to cynicism. I was once; in another area of life than dating, but I'm free of that now.

genericname85 · Answer

probably cause they were cheated a lot or cause they are cheaters themself.

innerman · Answer

dear give it time, dnt rush.  this is not a perfect world, things like accidents, poverty, illness, and CHEATING do exist

Anonymous · Answer

trust issues are the biggest factor. or because they themself would cheat if given the chance.

nocturnalbreed · Answer

Mostly due to they have been betrayed or had a thought to betray at some point.

jasco · Answer

Because when its a pattern, you eventually will start to think everyone does it

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

They are either extremely insecure or have cheated so they think everyone else will also cheat

Anonymous · Answer

because their mouths burn from milk, they try to eat the yoghurt by blowing it.

Alexis_1996 · Answer

Part cause “they can” “their neglected” or people become complacent.

grega239 · Answer

Because i can't name a person off the top of my head that didn't cheat

OddBeMe · Answer

Some will. And they think they’re the average. When they aren’t.

driven159 · Answer

because they are cheaters themselves, so they don't know any better

Anonymous · Answer

Girls have always cheated on me and then tried to come back. I don't think they all do but it seems hard to find someone that doesn't. And lots of girls feel the same way.

Anonymous · Answer

Spend 10 minutes on G@G and you see a very ugly, selfish side of humanity that's why.

QuietRunner · Answer

not everyone but a lot of people especially when dating

ForeverAtreides7890 · Answer

Because they are self conscious of their own desires and want to throw it on everyone

Citizenkirk · Answer

Lack of faith in humanity, human nature be damned.

Avicenna · Answer

Pessimistic view on life

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Because they have trust issues.

Hedo-1 · Answer

Because more often than not, they do.

Twalli · Answer

Because they pick assholes to date

Anonymous · Answer

Because most women and a lot of men do.

Christian65 · Answer

Way more people cheat than you'd think.

Wise4myage · Answer

They've probably been cheated on.

RoseJ123 · Answer

They may have had a negative personal experience.

Pohjolan · Answer

They want to justify their own shitty behaviour.

TsAubreyKate · Answer

Because they think we are hot

Andro36 · Answer

cause everyone will

888theGreat · Answer

most do

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