How do I get over this bullying? And victim complex?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, didn’t want to have to write this out again. I now have this victim complex as I felt completely powerless to improve my situation at the time. I didn’t trust the teachers and felt very isolated. How do I feel like I have agency again? Also, one guy threatened me with a knife and didn’t get expelled.

[20yearsolder]

I don't know how to help you, I can tell you that you can't live in the past, the past is the past. I don't know how to take those memories away for you but I would think the more that you focus on your schooling now, the better off you will be. Prove those assholes wrong, well you've already done that you're attending law school

[Asker]

I just feel like they didn't see me as a person.

[20yearsolder]

When someone bullies, the only reason they do that is because it makes them feel superior. They don't care about your feelings, they don't see you as a person. It's all about their feeling better than everybody else

[Asker]

That's true but they kept saying they wouldn't do that to anyone expect me and that it was specifically me who they wanted to target. They said they would never do that to other girls.

[Asker]

They also said it was my fault for not sticking up for myself. But that would have been difficult and it was a group of boys harassing one girl. And many teachers would watch them treat me like shit and not say anything.

[20yearsolder]

I know that it's easier said than done, sometimes you have to take the physical violence. Usually if you knock the shit out of the one that is the loudest, the rest of them will shut the fuck up.

[Asker]

But I'm a small girl and they were massive guys who would walk into my physical space. And they would often try to touch me etc and talk about how they wish they could fuck me

[20yearsolder]

More reason to kick the biggest one right in the balls

[Asker]

And my mom was physically violent with me as a kid so I have severe issues with conflict and violence

[Asker]

ahahah

[20yearsolder]

I don't know what to tell you honey, you can't reverse what happened to so put your head down and march on. If you can't do that then find a therapist to help you do so

[20yearsolder]

Do you think they really wanted to fuck you

[Asker]

yep. They were always taking about how hot I am.

[20yearsolder]

I mean I understand it's scary but now looking back on it it has to be some type of compliment

[Asker]

I guess their lives did revolve around me. They knew everything I was doing and where I was going etc

[20yearsolder]

I'm sorry you had to go through it but just think how boring their lives are that they have to basically put you under surveillance just to make themselves feel better

[Asker]

True.

[20yearsolder]

And what do they really get from it, the satisfaction of bullying you?

[Asker]

One of them said that they thought that I though that I was better than him. He was bullying me bc he thought I looked down on him when really I wasn't even thinking of him. Another had a crush one me. One has very Nazi like views and thinks people with any disabilities should be put down. I don't have a disability but when people were saying things about me he assumed that I did. Another didn't think he he was being mean. He said he thought that girls only cared about their looks and that I wouldn't mind being treated like I am stupid. Then he asked me on a date and I was like hell no.

[Asker]

sorry for all the typos lol

[20yearsolder]

It's all good, I understood every word you said with your typos. I just don't get it. I never will. I don't know what the fuck they gain from picking on you. Besides it makes their little ego feel a little bigger because they think they're better than somebody

[Asker]

Well the meanest one is bipolar and got into a weird relationship with an older woman after school. She was 33 and he was 18. She dumped him and he went into a deep depression. So he's not doing to great. Don't think he went to university because his mental health is not great. The second meanest dropped out of college and joined a band. He actually had many difficulties in school and my grades were much better than his. One of them is in law school like me but was putting my law school down and saying that his is better when I ran into him.

[20yearsolder]

Who cares what they are doing? You shouldn't be keeping track of their lives unless you're planning some type of revenge. Hunt them down one by one

[Asker]

lol. I feel like they felt that no matter how shitty things were for them, at least they weren't me. Even though I'm doing better than they are

[20yearsolder]

Exactly, you made it through the shit storm, and now you're shining. Rub it in your face, you're doing better than they are and you will always be a better person than they were

[Asker]

Maybe they are better now. Who knows. People aren’t great as teenagers

[20yearsolder]

Let's hope so, I still find it funny that they want to bully you but also think you're hot enough that they want to fuck you

[Asker]

well they saw me as a sex object. One said that I'm lucky I'm pretty because I'll never get a good job. He was also super confused that this other boy didn't like him for being mean to me. He couldn't imagine that anyone would like me as a person or want to be in a serious relationship with me.

[Asker]

I was also the prom queen at school and voted most beautiful but it was hard that many people didn't want to see me as a person with feelings.

[Asker]

they probably were watching too much porn

[20yearsolder]

Can you ever watch too much porn?