Not at all , unless she likes that sort of thing , some girls like being controlled. which is sad just shows she doesn’t value herself and has low self
Esteem and her man controlling her is the biggest piece of shit on the planet considering he doesn’t think his shit doesn’t stink , I feel bad for girls that fall for guys like that honestly , They will never experience true love , they mold a girl to be his slave that isn’t love that is abuse , When someone loves you unconditionally they love you for you not for what they want you to be , the only control there should be in a relationship is guidance , when a man tells his girl that he doesn’t feel comfortable with her hanging out with some people , and same Goes for her to him , that isn’t insecurities it’s respect for each other , everyone has some sort of insecurity whether they say they do or not , if you are in a relationship with someone that doesn’t care what you do then they more than likely are screwing someone else or they aren’t scared of losing you , if they are overly insecure and can’t let you leave their side , then they are More than likely cheating on you , A little bit of insecurity is good in a relationship but over insecure is control and a manipulative tactic , If it’s not ok for you to do something but ok for your partner to do it then they don’t love you they only care about themselves , why it’s best to always wear your partners shoes like they should be wearing yours , The only time control is really acceptive is in bed with each other
My wife tired. It only pushed me to wear more women's clothing out in public.
I been crossdressing the entire time we been together openly for that last 31 years. In the early years she tried to tame me.
I got defiant and pushed back. I went to normal everyday clothes wearing to extreme most outlandish drag queen I could be in public. I made it my goal to teach her a lesson, to either to get her to leave or accept me for me
After a week she gave up and I won. Everything went back to normal. Now 31 years later we are still together.
I guess I won
Hell no, it is NOT ok.
As someone who was on the receiving end and giving end of it. It's just wrong. You have to accept people for how they are. As in, how you met is how you should accept them.
I used to have an ex who would constantly say, " you don't have to wear makeup" " you don't need to worry about what you wear" mind you, never complained about having to wear makeup or how I would dress as I love doing both of those things as they make me feel pretty and like a million bucks. I then realized he was just trying to get me to have low standards on how I viewed myself so he could better isolate and control me. Needless to say I told that mofo to kick rocks on a highway.
In another instance, I tried to, in my view, 'elevate' how one of my exes would dress as I felt they dressed like a friggin dork with how they wore graphic tees, one precisely that read "siracha" on it... sigh. I was wrong for trying to do so because it was not my place to control what they wore.
If a person I'm attracted to likes to wear a particular style, then I either have to like it too or get the hell out of the way so someone who does like how they style themselves will.
This has nothing to do with what style or manner of clothing your partner has you wear. There is only one point about your question. It is the world "control."
The only person who should have control over what you wear is you.
However, you might want to wear something to please your partner from time to time. That's wonderful. You might even ASK your partner what he or she would like to see you wear. But the control is YOURS.
If you allow yourself to be controlled in one aspect of your relationship, this could sidle over to other parts of your relationship. My question is why?
Hey, that's a good point. I guess I didn't catch that earlier.
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No it wouldn't be, I'm about to be 50, I think I'm quite capable of picking out my own clothes.. That doesn't mean wouldn't wear things I know my partner likes seeing me in, but someone telling me what I can and can't wear, yeah no and wouldn't do that to my partner either...
Not control, they should never forbid or force you to wear anything. But being in a relationship you should also value their feelings - if wearing a particular garment upsets them, you should definitely take it on board and not undermine their feelings!
On the other hand, if they want you to wear something you're not comfortable wearing then compromise and maybe wear it in a more private setting or just for them. You can also customise clothes to either cover up or reveal more (for example).
Your partner, if you're in a healthy and loving relationship genuinely wants what's best for you or at least what they sincerely perceive to be the best for you. They shouldn't be controlling but what you do is definitely their business and it's normal they'd voice their opinions. After all, if you're together then your looks reflects not only on you but on him as well (and vice versa, I definitely had an inpact on my boyfriend's wardrobe).
If you can't agree at all then it might be best to go separate ways and search for a partner whose cultural values match yours better.
Is this a serious question? Why would anyone want to be with someone who controls what they wear? Many times I cannot wear what *I* want to wear because of my mom. Well, OK, that's what I get for NOT being eighteen... HOWEVER, once I'm on my own, I guarantee you I would NOT put up with anyone dictating what I wear! I will be looking for a husband, not a handler.
"Sweetie - does this leash go with my outfit?" No... not happening. I'm not anyone's pet.
I glad to hear that you don’t let anyone choose for you. A 16yo friend of mine is wanting a relationship so badly she’s willing to do anything for it, even if those things are red flags for a relationship. I’m hoping that if enough people agree with me it may influence her into think it’s a bad idea.
@Breanna_nonbinary
Well, let's be honest, I haven't even been on a date yet, right? But that doesn't mean I can't think for myself. Now, I don't like that my mom and I don't agree on my clothes a lot of the time. But, she IS my mom and I DO live in her house and I'm NOT yet eighteen so... yeah, there's that.
BUT - some GUY telling me what to wear? NO WAY! Tell your friend, if she can't be herself, because some guy wants her to be something different - then maybe he didn't want HER in the first place! He wanted this doll he could dress up how he wanted. Either he likes HER as she IS - or he doesn't!!! Maybe I'll look at this differently when I'm older (and decent guys ARE hard to come by where I live). But, honestly, I can't see me changing my mind on something THIS basic. Is it YOU he's wanting, or your body to hang clothes on? Tell the guy to buy a mannequin!!!
Sorry... I'm just kind of fed up with people controlling other people's lives.
@Breanna_nonbinary Obviously the answer is no but the solution is creating a joint, agreed upon vision for the relationship. That means they make a vision of exactly how they want their relationship to look and I mean EVERYTHING. Then from there you progressively realize the vision in a state of harmony. That's the fun part. If one does that then this type of thing won't happen because you'll know about the issue before the relationship is set to serious and once you do you can address and split up or one has to say they want to change and genuinely mean it.
There is a lot more to it but because people don't do that, this type of stuff happens. We don't vet people nor our relationship potential well. We don't even vet ourselves well. We have never been taught.
Sounds like you’re talking about a concept called “mutually assured destruction”. You know where both parties think they’re on the same page and agree to something but don’t realize that life changes. Then when something does change the missiles are launched and can’t go back into the silos.
A relationship is fluid, it’s changing, it evolves. The person I am 10 years ago is different than the person I am today. Same with my wife. But he journey we are in together is one which has changed directions and we have adapted. Should we ever decide we aren’t on the same road then we’ll go out separate ways.
A relationship is about sharing your life with another person. We don’t agree on everything nor would I want someone to agree with me on everything. Having a different vision and experiencing things that are different are the only ways to grow as a human being.
@Breanna_nonbinary All due respect, NO, you're wrong but I am not surprised because I gave but a fraction of the full philosophy. You don't have the perspective to know because you don't know the philosophy. You have but an under developed opinion. I didn't tell you about the adaption of an attractive/pleasing personality which literally ruins your whole argument and even that would still be but a fraction of the philosophy if I fully explains that part. The philosophy is well vetted and tested it works. But it is not for people with closed minds.
I think you should know I’ve been married for 10 years and with her for 22. So as far experience is concerned I do have some.
Control, no.
But they are free to point out what they think about it.
I can easily see why it would be a problem for a girl if I never bought new clothes and just used my increasinly worn-out cloths to the point where it became unattractive. In such a case I'd want to be given a warning-sign.
I don't know when I would step in though..
I mean if she decides to become a nudist.. I.. shit.. I don't know how I'd react..
Actually, yes I do.😈
But seriously, maybe I'd try to convince her not to but in the end, her will is hers alone..
And if another mans gaze breaks us up then so be it. If she don't want to stay, what can I say..
I feel like what you wear is your decision but at the same time I feel like you shouldn't wear anything that would embarrass your partner
Like I'm going to wear my blue polo and my black dress pants no one's going to stop me but if I was wearing something that was a little more embarrassing than yeah I totally understand if she would say that I can't wear that like if I were to wear a pink tank top and a purple Speedo or something like that you'd get it or something with polka dots I'd get that but now if you're wearing something that isn't like ridiculous or embarrassing then no honestly they shouldn't choose what you wear because what you wear is part of who you are
Of course there are exceptions to the rule such as lingerie, formal attire, costumes, and anything wedding related
I think there should be certain things that both people should go along with what their partner finds as acceptable. Revealing clothing that often is worn to seek attention from others is one of those things. That also includes whether a guy should go shirtless in public as well.
If someone doesn't wear something when staying home for the day with their partner, but only wears a certain outfit when going out in public then it IS to seek attention from others. I think people that seek validation from strangers more than they do from their own partner are too immature for a long term exclusive relationship. Someone's partner should be their priority, not impressing strangers.
No but it’s considerate to take into account their feelings, and it’s selfish not to on the basis of principle. For example, I’d never want my boyfriend wearing a shirt with the F word to my family party. And I won’t wear shirts with pokey nipples around his siblings. Can I? Yes. But do I know that it would bother him to know that his family can see my nipples? Yes. Does he know that I would be bothered by his f word shirt? Yes. This is a relationship. It’s not about using each other as stepping stones to push ourselves higher. It’s about learning to live life together happily.
Yes and no. If a woman is dressing like a stripper every time she goes out with the girls, then I completely understand a mans compelling to say something about her choice of clothing.
However, I also believe that if a mans girl is dressing like she left half her outfit at home, then perhaps the guy should think about getting a new girlfriend? 🤷♀️
I don’t understand the need to display the body so aggressively. I get that it can feel empowering, but why not do something that’s actually empowering to women? Go discover a new bacteria or help underprivileged kids find ways to afford college or something. If you’re getting your value out of being more naked than others, do you really value yourself?
@JessicaEarl yeah I agree. I have nothing against dressing sexy. However, there is a fine line that cannot be crossed if you don’t want to portray the wrong message. Being a smart woman however, has got to be one of the most sexiest things a woman can be.
I just think there’s a time and a place for everything
no way are you kiding it ok to ask for a opinion but i would rather feel comfy in something i lik not in a downer with something i dont like if i liked it i would say yeah thats a good idea now and then but if i didn't i would say no i like what i want if you dont like i turn around nd walk away nd dont look back no one is aloud to control me
The fact that you’re using the word control should make the answer very obvious.
Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you become their belonging. You are still an individual who is more than capable to choose your own clothes. Your partner has zero rights to dictate on that.
Generally, when I am out with other people male or female I am not worried about what they choose to wear. However, with the ladies, I am a passive control person. By passive I mean if I am not comfortable with the lady I WILL NOT go out with her. This is 100% my right to do. I don't like to go out with females that wear things like this! If she is dressed like this ---
I am telling her to put some clothes on or I am going alone! While it is not right to be a control freak, I do maintain and reserve the right to control who I go out with!
No, of course not wtf? We don't live in the biblical ages anymore, where women were men's property and had to get their permission to do anything.
It's ok to offer stylish tips, as long as it's done in a polite, non-insulting way...
I he can't be civil about it, tell him it’s time to go try and control someone else and dump him. You can and should dress however you want, and if he can’t see past the layer of clothes you wear to the person you are, then he’s got a problem, not you, and worse, it’s a bad ego problem.
Yes, but it should happen once in a while.
And also you should say is "choose" instead of control. Your person will like it too.
Bit if you repeat it again and again, then boom! He will never come to your place with some clothes, even in your room.
And this is universally used everywhere.
Yes another thing if your partner likes it then he will ask again, so depends on your choise and his taste.
Or if he/she wears like off fashion then just suggest and describe the aura of that clothes.
This definitely will be helpful.
I believe when in relationship you should dress discreet unless I'm with him. But I don't think it's okay for anyone to tell anyone what to wear and what not to wear. I've had controlling ex's try and tell me what I'm gonna wear. I laugh and leave that's bullshit and uncalled for
For your update. I guess it's my personal experience something that shows cleavage and wearing short shorts etc. You don't need to dress slutty to have someone tell you what to and not to wear.
Sort of...
My husband doesn't control what I wear, but I pick his clothes. I won't let him out of the house in crumpled clothes or totally mismatched. I'll choose and his tie his tie for him if the occasion calls for one. He'd wear tshirts and the same pair of pants everyday of I didn't intervene. 🤦 Stains, holes, wrinkles, he couldn't care less.
When my husband picks my outfit, it usually involves something I'm not leaving the house in (such as heels and nothing else).
Why do you think that what he wears is a reflection on you?
It's not so much a reflection on me, although I do all the laundry. I care about him having nice clothes to wear. When we go out together, we like to aim for best dressed couple. 😏
• It's absolutely not OK any partner forcing each other regarding outfits.
• it's a violation of basic human individual rights.
• both parties should be made pre agreements.
Me never force to my girlfriend what to wear, what not to wear, it's a her freedom of choice, if she ask advice then I do my opinion.
I always compliment and encouraging her whatever however whenever she wear.
I think it’s ok to tell your partner what your preferences are but ultimately your partner can wear whatever they want to. If you feel embarrassed by their style choices, maybe you might just not be compatible. As far as being unhygienic, wearing worn out/beat up clothing with holes in it, or too revealing etc I can get why that would make someone want to change the other person but really maybe you shouldn’t be dating them either.
If I’m about to make a clothing choice mistake, I’d rather be told by someone who cares about me that Im making said mistake than by someone who is just being a jerk. In that sense I’m ok with being told not to wear something, because that is helpful and useful to both myself and anyone else who would have the misfortune of seeing me.
Everyone has their favorite clothing styles. Sometimes it’s a reflection of how you’re feeling that day, other times it’s for other reasons. I think it’s important for you to be able to make those choices yourself. The unthought of benefit of making these decisions yourself might be an unsolicited comment from those who you care about or love. Somebody is controlling what you wear or any other part of your life, it takes away those unexpected enjoyable compliments and self pride.
That's absolutely not okay. Not okay to me at least or shouldn't be for anyone. I don't even stop my boyfriend from drinking or smoking unless he's doing it in front of me (as I can't bear the sight of it) or too much that it starts harming him... So if he or absolutely anyone will ever tell me what I should or shouldn't wear, they might end up make me despise them..
I think your partner is allowed their opinion as are you. My partner will put something on or have a wacky outfit idea and I will say I don’t like it if I don’t. I expect the same from him. But never prevent or forbid me from wearing things
No it isn't. You should wear what you feel like wearing. Yes, I know there will be times where you'll need their opinion but that should be all they shouldn't try to make you wear clothes you aren't comfortable in
To an extent — like he can tell me if I’m wearing something that’s too revealing and makes him feel uncomfortable. And vice versa I should be able to do the same. Relationships are all about respect for each other. However he has to be reasonable. He can’t get jealous over me wearing normal clothes or being fully covered. That just wouldn’t be fair.
No never. He can voice his opinion but the moment he wants to control it, it's a big red flag to me
Exactly this
If something you’re wearing genuinely distresses your partner, you shouldn’t wear that thing out of courtesy and respect for your partner. Ultimately it’s your decision and not theirs, but it’s nice to be sympathetic with them.
Don’t you think people are responsible for their own feelings? Therefore If something makes them genuinely distressed that’s their problem.
I think my boyfriend wouldn’t want me to underdress for any occasion. I wouldn’t want him wearing basketball shorts on a date, either. It goes both ways.
Yes but what if his idea of underdressed is different than yours? After all showing your belly button at one time would get you thrown in jail. Even today a woman showing her bare breasts at the beach is considered indecent, and yet it’s a blasphemy that if a man can take off his shirt then why can’t a woman?
It’s not that deep bro
Uh no, not even a slight bit. That's how you end up single.
Feminist movement worked hard throught history so that we can be free to choose and have equal rights with men, why be so stupid to lose all that and have your partner control what to wear! Makes no sense
Little things lead to bigger things. Signs of a control freak. Absolutely kick them out the door if anyone started in on me.
Who cares as long as it keeps her happy and she is attracted to what she sees. It’s better than not caring at all.
Un popular oppinion, but yes.
Guy is the leader of the house and family. Sets certain rules. Not dressing certain way falls under that, not only for children but also for his wife and himself.
Not talking about a dictatorship.
Family unit needs some structure. Somebody has to take the responsibility and what comes with it.
I am against this for sure would love to tell my partner my preference when it comes to which undergarments she can surprise me with on special occasions (it’s not what everyone will think 😂) but she doesn’t have to wear them (tho my preference might confuse her )
I don't believe in controlling anyone or anyone controlling me. Of course, we can try to persuade each other or even leave each other, but I don't believe in controlling anyone and don't allow anyone to control me.
I'm a stubbornly independent person and my wife and friends have turned me into a meme with this quote:
... but I also value other people's independence. In the same way I don't want anyone to control me, I also don't want to control them.
If you’re going to meet the in laws or to a fancy restaurant and someone wants to wear shorts and a tshirt, then yes, your partner has a say. If it’s casual wear and you think it’s too revealing, then that’s when a compromise is due.
What kind of compromise you mean?😉😂
It's never ok to control what your partner does or doesn't do
However, you're certainly allowed to tell them how you feel about what they're wearing. You just can't then say go put something else on, or point a gun at their head while doing it
I mean my wife represents our family just as I do, so I have every right to make a comment. If she’s dressing like a slut, then I will say to not wear that. I mean, it just feels weird to say that because if I said my wife is wearing something too revealing, she would want to change. One time my wife wanted to wear a Led Zeppelin shirt to church and I kind of fought her on that. We go to a casual church, but still. My wife’s attire isn’t really an issue.
They can have their opinions and suggestions on what to wear but they can't tell you what you can or cannot wear.
no one has a right to tell anyone what they should wear or not regardless of what kind of relationship you are in. if you love someone you need to trust them and what they do and the choice they make as well that goes for clothes and for places they attend too.
No, it’s wrong to control another person (without their consent).
This can be clothing, makeup, what they can buy etc.
Its just wrong to control what another person wears,
She can have a say and voice her opinion but at the end of the day I control what I wear no one else.
I think it all depends on context. If it is an effort to exert control over you that woukd be a huge red flag. If it is to help you avoid an embarassing situation or something that the two of you enjoy or activeky cultivate as a part of your lives, go for it
I would love my partner to control what I wear! 🥰
But really you should only let someone control what you wear if you enjoy that, don't let anyone force you to dress in a way you're not comfortable with 😊
Not ok for your partner to control what you wear, but on the other hand I think having their own opinion on what you wear is ok. Also, it shouldn't get to that point to begin with if you are in a relationship you shouldn't be dressing in a way to make your partner nervous about what you are wearing by dressing like you are single while going out.
it depends, if you're dressing extremely provacatively then to some extent, it's fine. however if it's not even skimpy, then it's not ok to be so controlling.
No it's not. A person can choose their partner, and after that they'll have to accept them for them.
I would not allow this. He or she is not my parents and even my parents gave me a ton of freedom.
Hell no just because you have a partner doesn't mean you're not still an individual. You did say partner not owner.
No in general your partner isn't like your parent, they don't logically get a say on what you wear but it not hurt to at least get some feedback from them in case they just trying to help avoid getting any issues out in public.
It is her choice to wear what she wants to wear. If it is modest or seductive. It is her choice if she wants to go nude. It's still her choice.
No , although I often get my wife to pick out my clothes for me.
My husband too! He always asks, "Ok, what am I wearing?" 😊
It depends. I'm all good with my girl having my back. But sometimes I'm gonna just do me and she's gonna have to be OK with that.
The key word is 'control' and I think it wrong for anyone being in control of any aspect of another person's adult life.
It's never OK for someone to tell you what you can and cannot wear. It could be considered a form of psychological abuse
Imagine being a grown ass person in 2022 believing something like that would be okay.
For me, it isn't. If you're really partners, one would hope you would figure out what they like to wear.
As someone else already said on here, it comes down to control. For me that's a "no go."
No, it's not OK! Anyone who tries that gets a kick in the butt (figuratively speaking, ofc)!
I don't understand why most women would put up with such a behaviour, it's always a precursor to fist abuse on women.
No lol, you are not telling me what to wear but you can be nice and try to convince me. And frankly I don't know if I would want to be with someone spineless enough to let me dictate what they wear unless it was some kind of kink thing for them.
Ehh, gfs have helped improve my style. Because i had none.
But partners are supposed to help us be our best. Obvi, too much control is bad.
Absolutely not. I'm my own person I can wear whatever I want to wear and so can he. Much to my distaste of him wearing Christmas shirts all year long.
It's nice sometimes but if I listened to my man I'd wear nothing but sun dresses, no bra and no panties every day.
Listening is different than controlling
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