What's your opinion on long distant relationships? Do you think they can work?

Question

Squaresquirrel · Accepted Answer

They can only work if you had known each other in real life for month or years and then life happens and one has to move away for a job/studies etc but it has a time limit and you know that you will be together. Then you have foundation, you have future plans.

If you meet in real life, maybe you are visiting his town as a tourist, or she is on a business trip where you live and you realize that you live within max 4-5 hours far so you can visit frequently and one of you is willing to relocate, then might work but you will need to make a huge effort.
Otherwise I wouldn't bother.
You will not know the real person behind those carefully chosen words and most people like to present themselves as they think they are, not as they actually are.
What I mean is for example, I have a friend who "loves" hiking. When I asked her how many times do you go on a hike a month, it turned out she hasn't been for more than 3 years. So she loves the idea of being the person who hikes.
My sister's boyfriend "loves" playing squash. He played it twice in his entire life.
Basically, my point is, meeting someone online, you "fall in love" with your perception of them, not the real person.

Kkstarzz96 · Accepted Answer

Move in together after 1 year and I'm not saying he has to move or she has to move but you two need to be in the same area after 1 year of dating long distance or its over and I'm sorry but you should know after 1 year what you're willing to do to make it real and talking to a screen is not a way to live its a temporary situation with someone who could at least try to be with you in person on a regular basis without back and forth like actually having a life with you. Knowing you on your worst days and feeling the support from more than notifications from them. If you're not in a position to move, I know at least one of them could choose, as in options. If they dont choose to be closer to you, they don't see a future with you. They may bump into you in the future, but it wasn't cause they woke up and realized what they're losing, it's purely coincidence and don't dwell on it. You deserve a real effort. 💯

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

I've been involved in three long-distance relationships (LDR). Each lasted less than six months... it's hard to maintain a relationship when you rarely see each other. Having said that, an LDR can work for some people. Hence, my vote is "maybe".

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

anything can work and anything can fail. you are the captain of the ship... steer well! I married my GAG long distance girlfriend and together now. yes.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

I don't think it's impossible to make them work, but it's rare , because LDR are very challenging and too difficult to maintain

The basis of a LDR is online communication. That's not enough to maintain a lasting relationship. It's impossible to get to know someones true character just by chatting online or meeting up now and then. It's not easy building trust.

The only way they can succeed is if the two people meet up in person on a regular basis. Most people don't seem to meet up at all.

I could never enter into a LDR. I need to spend time in real life with a guy. Plus, I am too affectionate to settle a long distance relationship

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I was LDR for nearly three years. It was good over COVID, since we wouldn't have been able to see each other in person anyways.

But the only reason we did it was because originally he was going to immigrate up.

Our relationship busted down because when push came to shove and he was in the process of moving up (with significant help from me), I got to see the reality of his life - he was utterly incompetent and had zero idea of the realities of life.

He tried immigrating without any documentation, and lied to me for years that he had it in progress. I even offered to hire an immigration consultant but he refused it and told me he didn't need one.

He was right - he needed a therapist, a mother, and a manager. Not a wife.

I'm never doing LDR again. It's too easy for the other person to lie and get away with it.

RavenBloodswiin · Answer

I feel like this depends completely on the situation. Like how long have you known each other, how your relationship was before you moved if thats what happened etc. Along with that, on both of you as individuals, like people who aren't very physical will obviously be able to deal with the situation a lot better than people who need the physical aspect of a relationship.

JoyGirl · Answer

Yap, they can.

TrueConfection · Answer

I haven't tried it myself and I don't think it would work for me, but it might workfor other people.

There are days that I'd be willing to experiment by sending my husband someplace far away for a week or two. 😈

nice-girl · Answer

I don't think they could work. What would be the reason to be long distance?
If the man can't afford or doesn't want to take me with him I don't think it's a real relationship.
I would leave my family behind to be with him and career too.

whereismyjohnny · Answer

I think they can work but both sides have to be willing to put in the effort because it’s not easy. It takes a lot of trust, communication and work.

IMuser · Answer

Fuck no!! As someone who has been in a LDR, being single is far far far better than LDR. It's useless and wastes so much of your time.

Daniela1982 · Answer

There is more chance they won't than that they will work. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, more like colder,

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I voted maybe, it depends on what both people are wanting to get out of it.

RedBullRacingLemia · Answer

If given the time and communication yes they can work.

Adam1978 · Answer

No it's needs to end and be a short temporary solution otherwise it's doomed.

Sabretooth · Answer

Any relationship that lasts longer than a breath mint is gonna have challenges, but if a relationship doesn't work out, it's usually not because of the challenges, it's usually because the relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Only if they don't stay an ldr. A couple who loves eachother are patient enough to wait.

exitseven · Answer

They can work if there is an endgame to it and both parties take responsibility to make it work.

Vendela · Answer

Well I'm in one and we're doing just fine. Have been for a year now.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

For me it wouldn’t work especially with my love language being high for physical touch.

Echosoul · Answer

I've done it before. Wouldn't recommend, you can only do so much remotely.

026antares_aquariiX · Answer

It probably depends on the chemistry before long distance, and if you like one another enough and can make it work.

scelia · Answer

It's work if you real committed to someone, I'm the one we're just fine🙂

devilish-cutie · Answer

they can work for some people, but its very hard

Beerluvr · Answer

No. Ever will.

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