If he values her, she’s worth every penny. Is it 100% the guys responsibility? No. Being in a relationship is an investment in time and money on both sides. That means spoiling each other; whether that’s with random gifts, taking the other person out, or giving her money to get her nails/hair done. Without any of that stuff my girlfriend would not be herself and be miserable. She needs that stuff.
Whether I decide to buy that stuff for her is entirely up to me though. She knows she needs to self manage by taking care of herself and buying that stuff herself. It just makes her adore me when I pay for that stuff for her because I WANT TO.
It shouldn’t be a requirement for every boyfriend. Though he better show her affectionate ways of showing her how much she means to him because if he refuses to buy her anything or show her any emotional love or how much he values her than he’s just a shitty boyfriend.
I’ll be clear though this is a two way street. Women definitely need to show their boyfriends the same love too. A successful relationship is a team effort that show EACH OTHER how much they value their relationship.
Haha! Hahaha! Ha! Hahahahaha!.. wait, were you serious? Ummm, is he your father? Then no. It's not a dudes responsibility to put money in your pocket for any reason. Especially if it's for fun because your broke. I would cut someone off if that was just an expectation. you're a big girl. Go make your own damn money.
Playing devil's advocate, remember it's no ones responsibility to put money in your pocket. But guys like myself have no problem helping a lady friend out of they need money. I don't mind doing it at all. But if it was just expected, I would stop on the spot. Chances are if you are a cool girl, with a job and it doesn't happen too often, I'm sure a man would help you out when needed. Just don't expect it ever
It certainly is if he's a sugar daddy and she's a kept woman.
Is it his fault she's broke? Why is she broke?
This keeps coming up. If a man is supporting you and you are not married to him or in some long-term relationship with him, you are, in effect, being PAID for your company or, are a prostitute.
Get your shit together, get some training or schooling, get a better job and SUPPORT YOURSELF! The only people who should ever be paying for you are your parents WHEN YOU ARE A MINOR, or you are getting your college education.
Otherwise, become a professional sexworker and you can have loads of men support you, give you jewelry, an apartment, clothes, etc. But don't call them boyfriends. They're patrons.
@Guy13 I don't think this is relegated to men. A woman likes to treat her man well. But this isn't "spoiling." Giving small gifts is nice. This has nothing to do with being "soft" or "traditional." Everyone likes a lovely gift. And it will be returned in some way by the receiver because of the kindness.
In response to the update: Whoever your friend is, they have unrealistic expectations for a boyfriend and low expectations for their responsibilities. If you have a job, pay for your clothes, nails and hair yourself. A man paying for regular maintenance items like that is "keeping" you. Has little to do with being in love. Taking you out on a special date is one thing. Paying regularly for items you can pay for yourself, is something else again. I'd say your friend is cheap, too.
I disagree with your unfounded over Assuming and Knowing. O me your dogmatic and loose generalizations are both misleading and counterproductive.
—The bottomline IS it’s a heart thing. One or the other can take advantage AND overreacting generalized Ego driven exhortation is not Good advice.
—It’s an individual Matter…it involves two people with a varying amounts of Integrity and Intent. To categorize as you did upon ALL people who receive the love or gift from another is not helpful…. You have no idea what the Gifted or Gifter (Man/Woman) gets from the Process.
—WHY, do you perceive a Negative view in such a circumstance? We get enough of that kind of approach from Media and Political entities.
—I’m frankly flabbergasted
@Guy13 It IS an opinion, Guy, from my background, how I was raised and experience. I'd feel quite uncomfortable about a man gifting me for regular items, regularly.
Everybody likes a gift now and then. But, I'm an independent woman and I enjoy the fact that I'm able to pay my way for common things like a nail job or hair maintenance.
If a boyfriend surprized me with something like a massage or a weekend that we'd spend on a daytrip drive, or a special date, that'd be great. But I don't want CASH from someone who isn't my husband.
My mother was an independent woman who worked her whole life and my dad did too. He gave my mom lovely gifts for Christmas birthdays etc. She did the same for him. They went out dancing together and to balls. I'm sure if he'd wanted to he could've bought her a nail spa session or massage or something.
But my father never gave my mother "money." Mom had access to the joint checking account and paid for what she needed. They planned their lives together. Etc. I don't think a boyfriend is on the same level.
True, people can negotiate anything between themselves. But taking money from a man you date because you're "broke" does seem that the "taking" party is "taking advantage." I'm sure there are generous men who do this. I feel it's a bad precedent and practice. If you flip it around, does it sound savory? No, It sounds like a giggolo. The flip side of that is a prostitute.
I don't want to be paid for. And if someone pays your way, there might be "expectations" you don't want to fill.
My discomfort comes from it being one way only and not wanting to "owe" somebody. It's too much of a power differential for me. You're citing a positive side that might come from a generous person who expects nothing. I think that sort of person is rare.
And the bottom line is, if you're broke, tone down your expenses, etc., until you're flush. A boyfriend isn't a bank or your dad. Be a grown woman and get your finances straight.
When you’re around other women. Some of those women tend to be DEMONIC.
Theyre ignorant and gold diggers.
Nobody is supposed to give you money. Nobody OWES you money. No matter how much they love you.
Thats conditional love “I LOVE YOU IF YOU GIVE ME SUCH AND SUCH”
Conditional.
Same goes for men and sex. “THEY ONLY LOVE YOU IF YOU GIVE THEM SEX”
Those women you’re talking to, are bad influence. It’s demonic! Keep away from them!
Opinion
96Opinion
Hell no. There's arguments to be made for having fun together, and depends on what kind of paradigm you entered together. No way in hell I'm tossing money to a girl to go out and party without me. If someone is pressuring me that way I'll toss them 50 bucks, and all their belongings into a pile on side the driveway while they're out.
Only takes about 10 minutes to change the locks, very little time to gather and throw things out if you don't care about the condition it winds up in.
u WITF would that be his RESPONSIBILITY? You are not married and not entitled to anything from him. Whatever he gives is a gift and there is NO entitlement. Be grateful for what he gives you and EARN YOUR OWN MONEY!
Yes, but I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I think it’s a responsibility for BOTH partners. You should want to spoil your partner and treat them here and there. Whether you’re a man or a woman.
Im more than happy to give my husband money if he needs it, treat him to dinner, treat him to a haircut or fill his gas tank, etc. etc. and he does the exact same thing for me too. When I went on vacation with a friend I checked my account and he randomly sent me $200 with the message “have fun.” as he fucking should lmaooo
Then again, even if he didn’t send me that money I wouldn’t of gotten mad or anything of course.
no but there are emergency cases like your girlfriend is physically ill like for example me i have this heart palpitation problem even restinh my heart is pounding like crazy 24/7 and i have sinuses issue that makes me dizzy so easily if i have SO i would love him to help me financially so that i can clear whatever is my physical issue. i am not lazy i think i'm hardworking just like my mother. it's one of the trait that i'm kinds proud. i n other words it depends on the reason
If she shows him love and respect, and is the submissive one in relationship and actually appreciates him and gives back.
Yeah, tbh I'd love the kinda relationship, but too many many hating women have went nuts and totally poisoned them against us.
but too many man hating women* is what I meant to say
Yes. Part of loving is helping and enjoying see one’s woman confident, knowing a sense of treasured, and happy. Who really cares as it’s a 2-300. You can’t take the Money with you.
-Personally, especially if she’s stay-home…even if working…$500.00 month just for her in CASH is preferable rather than credit and the guilt/shame with “not being able to afford it”. For sure…without a doubt…plus it could be fun…”earned Commodities exchange”.
No Brainer…
No it’s her life and cash, I would not be funding a charity case.
i would however help out if there were valid reasons etc, say she had her car serviced and bill was higher than expected, I might help if she needed it.
other than that, she can earn her own cash n save,
.
No.
Those are unessential. Those are luxuries.
If she wants to spend money on those, she needs to get a job and earn it for herself. A man might gift her the occasional nail treatment or whatever, but if she wants to treat herself to those things on the regular, she gotta work.
NO. She isn't entitled to someone else's money. If some people have that kind of relationship then more power to them. If she wants money she can earn money like any other person does.
Just the same as if a man is broke it is not a woman's responsibility to buy him shit.
I am no her daddy and anyone who is into incest is disgusting
The key word there is "girlfriend". She not his wife, sister or mother hence no legal strings to do anything for her.
Sure, if you want to keep the girlfriend, then a few dollars to shut up her hollers is required. But it's dumb to set yourself on fire to keep her warm.
You know that anyone who says “a few dollars to shut up her hollers” is single 🤣
With all respect... that's really a stupid question. Why should a man in these time where woman have equal rights give the woman money to go out when he hasn't got any money?
If any woman expect this from a man who hasn't got any money then she has totally no respect and is nothing else then a gold digger
No I do not think it's a man's responsibility to do that. If he chooses to that's up to him. I'd say the same if it was girlfriend to boyfriend.
One they're not married and two if you want to have a life you need to earn it. It would be a turn off if a girlfriend thought I had to finance her as an adult to go out and have fun. Since you didn't get any insight into this person's situation, this is my answer.
"Modern" women mindset. Of course not. I'm not responsible for my girlfriend's financial issues. So it's not my duty. Let's say I do that, it's out of kindness and caring. The only time my money and her money becomes our money is about the house, as we live together and maintain it together. Let's say she goes broke, I will support her to a reasonable amount. But she needs to find a job as soon as she can
Personally I'd find this weird af, why can't she work and earn her own money.
@harleigh90 yep exactly 💕❤️
No. She can get a job too and pay for her own entertainment.
Responsibility? No, but if he lead with that early on that is the precedent of the relationship and he should continue doing so.
Precedent is everything in relationships
I have my own money. I don’t want his, when I have one
No because if a person is broke that shows me that he or she can't handle money so I wouldn't deliberately give them my money. We're not married and I don't want to see my money being wasted.
No, absolutely not. She's an adult and shouldn't expect anyone to pay for her shit. Especially shit she doesn't even need.
Follow.
No, if you are comfortable doing that then ok, but if you feel used, being taken advantage of, or it is one sided, or she isn't actively doing something to change her financial position then it is time to close your wallet.
Responsibility? Absolutely not. Can he if he wants? Sure. But depending on the circumstances it could very easily a red flag that she can't manage her finances
No. You're a grown-ass adult. No one has to give you allowance or pocket money like you're seven years old. It's a post-COVID economy out there. Get your fat ass off the couch and go find a job.
No why? Like what´s the point in that. If she´s broke that just shows me that she might not be good at handling money.
No, also I won't date a woman who does that sort of stuff even if she's the one paying for it. When I see long painted nails and styled hair and makeup and all that extra crap on a woman, I avoid her.
Men can do what they want to do, if they do not wish to do something than thats fine. You make your own money and do you with it. If I want to, i will do it but if not and I feel I have a legit reason than I won't do it
A man has no financial responsibility towards his girlfriend. Come back when you're a wife and then we can talk.
🤣 May I presume that you are saying that a wife has the right to demand financial securities from her husband?
@The_Shadow_Dweller most certainly!
Can it work in reverse?
@The_Shadow_Dweller i don't believe that women are obligated to finacially support men. However, a supportive wife will help her husband if he is struggling in this area.
So its one way then.
How many percent of women do you think will not support their husband in this area? And how many who will?
@The_Shadow_Dweller i find women stupidly part with their money way more than men.
@The_Shadow_Dweller not me thiugh. But in the good days of my marriage I had no issue investing in us. It wasn't a mistake. But I know who to spend on.
No not at all. Obviously he needs to pay up if he wants to do something with her company. Otherwise she is responsible for her own luxery.
I don't think it's a responsibility, however, only a kind/nice would giver her some money to do something to lift her spirits.
I use the general rules the banks do with loans.
I'll give her money, if she can prove she doesn't need it.
Uhm.. no.
That's her responsibility. Budget your money, and don't expect to be financed by others.
Duck no… if I wanna go out I’ll take her and pay if she’s broken then she’s either not working or she’s not working hard enough.
It's not his "responsibility", just something nice to do once in a while.
Like everytime she ask do you think he should give her money? Everytime
No he shouldn't. It is his money and he needs to take care of his business before he uses it to pamper you. He needs to enjoy his money first. He should do it if he's your boyfriend, but not every time you ask him unless he's rich.
Yeah after awhile you have to put your foot down, but like you said, not a responsibility per se, but as the 'boyfriend' in the relationship, shouldn't it be, I dunno, kinda common to want to do something cool for your girlfriend that'd maybe make her happy? If that's not what you want, you're possibly with the wrong girl.
@Screamsgutter That's kind of what I meant. He does not need to do just it's something he should do out of love.
Depends if you're planning on getting married I wouldn't mind giving money to my girlfriend. But if there is no really true relationship. She also needs to learn to control her spending. And learn to live within a budget
Only if she is willing to let him put a collar on her and walk her around on a leash in public... since he is paying for her ownership. If she wants to be an equal in the relationship, then she needs to produce her own income flow.
Nope. If she's broke that's her problem especially when you're not married. You shouldn't be running around partying or buying shit if you're broke to begin with. Get your life togheter first before spending money.
No, but he might want to help her get her hair done, etc., if he wants her to look like she just got her hair done. But it isn’t his responsibility.
The flip side of this would be if it's her responsibility to have sex with the man whenever he wants to?
No. If I am broke, I already found a way to have fun without having to spend a dime, so I would just do that and be happy.
Nope, but there are plenty of guys out there who will do that for you, they think you are whores though by the way and in fairness they are correct.
Maybe once in a while like if she hasn't had her hair done in 6 months or so, but otherwise no.
Now i can agree with that
Tacos are awesome by the way
If you haven't made and arrangement before, no. Not your problem
No, everyone is in charge of their own finances. She's an adult too.
If a person wants something they should earn it themselves.
Will she submit herself to my authority?
No? Then buy your own shit. 🤷♂️
Nope. Not a responsibility. But may be a nice thing.
That's not a responsibility but it's a good thing to do.
Relationships are partnerships. If she or I have financial issues helping out is a good thing. Of course making amends or (adjusts tie) quid pro quo... will keep things civil.
And women complain about not being “equal” and living in a patriarchal society. You make me sick.
Hell no!
To quote a Britney Speares song: better work bitch.
No, that's not something that she needs and if she wants to have fun with his money then she better involve him as well.
NO. They can go out, but not just for her to go have fun.
No no no thats a trap. You know the phrase "Give her the little finger and she takes the whole hand"
You'll get exploited
Hell no, I'm not to going to give anybody free money to go blow out their ass on stupid useless shit. She better go get a job.
Nope, and any girl who expects this is clearly only interested in a guy's money.
I would do it if i was married or in long term relationship. I don’t think it would be a responsibility. Only if she was trying to look good for me on dates or whatever.
If she wants money 💴 then she is Taking my dick out and Putting it in her Mouth.
If she earns it in the home cooking cleaning and just being pleasing to me in whatever way i determine. Sure. Otherwise gtfo.
there is no guy want to have girlfriend with such rule , unless his dad own couple of oil rigs on sea near mideast
Only as much as it is her responsibility to keep his balls drained to his satisfaction, if that is the dynamic then yes.
I treated my girlfriend like that before but it’s not something that should be done weekly
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