7 Years Dating, Should I Do Something More To Become a Fiancee? (Page 2)
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Girl he don’t want u anymore get up and leave ur wasting ur time he’s leading u on he doesn’t want to marry u and also doesn’t want to lose u so he leads u on he’s useless honestly ur wasting ur time it takes a guy at least a year to know if he wants to marry u 7 years later making excuses girl u wasting ur life at this point u independent making money boss bitch if he genuinely loved u he would be paying all the bills babe the fact that u both take turns paying the bills is honestly disgusting if u ask me I don’t want to hear oh this and that take my word and leave him I’ve been in relationships like this and ik how it ends u ain’t going to get nowhere in life with a guy like that. If U still choose to be with him even after reading this then I feel bad 4 ya he will end up cheating on u.
You're either going to have to give him an ultimatum and walk if he doesn't propose or just be content as girlfriend. You have to understand there is no reason for him to marry, all negatives and few positives. Some of which are from society ie alimony and divorce laws and others are from you ie didn't wait until marriage for sex or cohabitation etc.
So by now he just isn't going to want to. Or he is so desperate for you he will do it if thats what it takes. But fyi id bet he's more likely to let you walk than propose. And on top of that i think you will be more disappointed than he is about being single if that were to happen.
Id personally just ask for a compromise. Get a ring and skip the papers and the wedding, the two things he's im sure least excited about.
He’s got some other insecurities about getting married that are holding him back. I don’t think it’s about his “freedom” though. If he wanted to continue to “play the field” he would of broken up with you a long time ago.
You have been patient (very patient) so this isn’t fair to you. Maybe he’s comfortable where he is at. There are major risks and downsides for men who get married. Alimony usually goes only one way.
You need to give him a ultimatum on this. Give him time to think it over though. Tell him he can be brutally honest about what he fears most about marriage (e. g. getting burned in a divorce)
Tell him how you feel but also tell him he needs to think things through on where he’s going in life. You also need to be mentally prepared for the possibility of him saying he wants to move on.
You have a lot more patience than the only girl I ever thought of getting serious with by the way. I have never been this lucky lol.
If you want to marry him, the advice given here by @MzAsh is the worst possible advice you could take. And that is typical for her. It's ego and misandry driven and impractical in real life.
He is a high value man and the worst thing you can do is lower your won perceived value to him. What you need to do is get him to realize he has a good thing in you and that it isn't guaranteed that you will always stick around. Tell him you want to to get married and you want it to be him, but if he doesn't do it you'll find a man who will. But the last thing you should do is lower your value and play head games. That is always a turn off and very likely to have the opposite effect you want it to have.
What’s hilarious is that my advice is basically this but spun in different terms lol.
@MzAsh No, it's not at all, and what's hilarious is that you don't even recognize the difference.
And what's sad is that there are actually people who trust you as a dating coach to give them dating helpful dating advice. I have watched over and over again as you have given women bad advice that is meant only to support their (and more accurately, your) female ego at the expense of their relationships with men. The advice you give may help women avoid bag men, but it will more often help them avoid good, self respecting men. No man with any value or self respect is going to stay attracted to women with the kind of attitude you consistently promote.
You’ve been on my dick for years so at this point your infatuation with me just wants to read what you want to read into what I say.
He's right you should he helping women not joking around this isn't the place for that
I’m here on my free time, so until I have a paying client on my hands, so I can do as I please.
Got it pretty much no one should take advice from you unless they are paying
That’s a disingenuous statement.
@MzAsh Interesting, I didn't realize you had a dick. That explains a few things. I've been a user on GAG for less than a year so not so much. But I'm not surprised you've been been doing this crap for years.
Don’t get all excited, it’s just an expression 🤭
@MzAsh Don't worry, nothing about a "woman" like you excites me.
Such a gentleman, you are.
@MzAsh Thanks for noticing and acknowledging that fact.
Heh, sure.
It’s always a bad idea to move in with a boyfriend and have sex. You both are living together, having sex, and working. Only thing you are missing is kids and a ring. You are technically already married depending on the state. There is something called a Common Law Marriage where after a certain period of living together, you will technically be considered a married couple. Honestly this has more to do with modern dating and society. Marriage doesn’t hold the same impact as it did a long time ago. It’s just a contract that signs away half your belongings if divorce happens. That’s how men see it nowadays. Maybe you can sit down and talk to him about how you feel so strongly about it. Or maybe you could just ask him to marry you. He would most likely say yes. I don’t understand women wanting complete equality in the modern society yet still want traditional values like the man needing to be the one to propose.
"Do I need to do more as a girlfriend?"
You're already cooking, cleaning, shopping for groceries, and doing his laundry. I assume you're probably having sex with him as well.
What more could he possibly want?
Why should he marry you if he's already getting everything he needs?
Why would he marry you if he gets all the benefits of marriage without any of the commitment? So how are you equals if you do all the cleaning at his place? He is not having you live there full time so you can't claim a common law marriage which you can do after 7 years living together. You are being played. I have heard this scenario before here on G@G. Seems like you aren't the only one to fall for this. You need to get together with the others to form a "Sucker Support " group.
In my opinion it takes couples at least 1-3 years to get married I've noticed on average. That amount of time you can really know someone and decide that person is for them. 7 years dating and saying he'll marry you but still hasn't... Hmmm... I'd say maybe you should propose to him. If he declines or accepts than you have your answer. Nothing wrong with a woman proposing.
Dang, I wish I had meet a live in maid. Saying that, my point is you are being taken advantage of. He may think and say he loves you, but I think he is just too comfortable with the current relationship. Now is the time to break it off. You will meet the right guy and have a family and put this all behind you. Good luck my friend.
Follow your heart and I’ve had guys talk about marrying me and then ended leaving me for anonther woman a month later.
you can manifest marriage if that’s what you really want I know you are marriage material and you can find someone who sees your value that way.
remember just because someone doesn’t see value in something doesn’t mean it’s not there.
some man would love to wife you up trust
You sound like a good woman and you can do much better honestly.
And honestly do you need to do more as a girlfriend... hell no you need to do less you’re spoiling him already for free.. you’re already acting like his wife without having a ring... it’s like the saying goes why buy the cow when the milk is free..
He is getting what he wants, you are not. What do you think is the next step? Wait? Feel sad… till he dumps you?…. Orr wait till your prime time is over at 35? 40?
a man who truly lives you will not want you to feel this way.
Is he your first boyfriend/virginity. I feel like if he is, that's a bad sign but if not then I think maybe he's just scared of marriage and marriages failing as divorce is up to over 50%. I hope you two sign prenups by the way, if you two ever do tie the knot.
Did really spend 25,000 on a gaming pc? I mean what fuck did he do? Get the case covered in gold and diamonds? After 5k you are looked a dimension retruns, mean you won't see any noticeable performance gains. If you want to marry a man find someone else and treat the last 7 years as a learning experience. Find someone that want be your husband so much they pay rent and eat Ramen to do it.
Do you enjoy your life? Do you think after SEVEN years he's going to split and find someone new?
Put your insecurity to one side. Marriage isn't a requirement no matter what Disney taught you.
Agreed
As opposed to the passive aggressive BS some incredibly egotistical so called “dating coaches” will tell you, why not have a serious conversation about this matter with him? Ask him what he’s afraid of? The institution of marriage is very one sided these days, maybe he wants a life partner but not the government paperwork?
He'll probably marry you only if you sign a pre nup. If he thinks your after his fortune.
Other than that no you don't need to do anything more. He knows your expectations as you are a traditional woman.
Maybe he's planning a special wedding, who knows
At the end of the day it's your life. You decide your path
Women dates high value man, who comes from a well off family and is hesitant of getting married due to divorce stories. Women approaching 30's and wants to lock down her man who SMV/RMV is moving upward while her own is beginning to move down
Man either submits to female demand or drops her. Female will then proceed with 1 years marry another male who is may be of lower tier but is more agreeable on getting married to her.
*correction
Man either submits to the female demand or drops her. If the male drops her then female will then marry a guy within 1 year who is either on the same tier as this guy or of lower value. Not long after she will pop out a kid for him but more than likely have resentment for this guy due to hypergamy and having to settle.
@Lookingforthetruth. BINGO, she will end up a "buzzer beater" with some simp.
It's gross to put a "market value" on a human being. We're not used cars. Our worth is not dependent on superficial bullshit, unless one only cares about being in a relationship with someone for superficial reasons only (which will not last and will end in loneliness/unhappiness for the people seeking said superficial bullshit). I guess it depends on whether you want a true connection and a happy relationship or just a piece of ass or someone else's money to blow until something better comes along (which should be considered merely a transaction and not an actual relationship, in that case). The idea that women "lose their value" while a man's "value" increases at or around 30 is something incels tell themselves to make themselves feel better about being rejected, or what immature losers who can't relate to people their own age/very manipulative men who like very young women who are easier to control like to think. 🤣 I'm not surprised though, as this site is full of bitter people who think their lack of success in the dating world is everyone else's fault but their own and convince themselves into believing bizarre redpill shit because it feels better and is easier than admitting they need to change their behavior.
Not to mention the BS about men or women gaining or losing "value" at X age is very much a blanket statement.
It's absolutely possible for anyone 30+ to find a quality relationship that works for them and isn't solely about looks and/or money. The happiest marriages and relationships I know of are between people who met at 30+, and some much older. Looks, money, and good sex aren't enough to keep a relationship intact long term. Again, though, that depends on whether or not you're looking for a life partner or someone to use until something "better" comes along, which is a sad way to live in my opinion.
The implication that she'll have to "downgrade" from this "high value" guy (who had to have Mommy and Daddy buy him his house 🤣 - SO "high value" 🤣🤣🤣) because her "value" is "declining" is very disrespectful, not to mention beyond ignorant. From what she's written, she sounds like a very well rounded, successful woman, who has a lot going for her. It shouldn't be hard for her to find a man who appreciates those qualities at all.
Sounds like both of you guys in this thread have quite a bit of baggage to view women and relationships the way you do though, which is quite sad.
ETA: Oh, and let's not forget this "high value" man not only had to have Mommy and Daddy buy him his house, but Daddy got him his job, and Grandpa got him his car. 🤣🤣🤣 Seems like he'll be the one having a tough time finding a replacement, not her!
You're only girlfriend material, not wifey material. Get the hint.
Leasing a car for three years you'd know whether it's worth holding it or handing in for a new model. Your idiot is extending the lease as he doesn't know how to know.
I don't think you're giving the guy enough credit. He is extending the "lease" because what he's leasing (this girl) is desperate enough, despite supposedly well educated & having a good job, to be strung along by empty promises. I mean it doesn't even sound like a good relationship she never mentions that they go out, etc. just that 4 days a week she's the maid service.
Once he finds a woman he WANTS to marry... she'll be out the door faster than you can say shiiiiiitt...
Or may be he is not husband material who wants to commit. You seem pretty hurt by someone. Sorry bro
@sofia444 Why should he commit? She's maid service without being paid. Some women should TRY to get some self respect. Then men will actually respect them and not walk all over them thinking they're idiots.
communicate that is the key.
Find out why or why not this isn't happening. Maybe it's not you or anything you can do but it maybe able to be minimized.
Hmmm it's not you I believe you're kind and good woman for asking marriage. Maybe he have fears these days there's so much divorces and honestly if i was him I would be careful before sign marriage he has lot of cash and his life on spot. Try to talk again and make it clear that you want spend your life with him and want happy family and peace. Logically I think he's not into marriage at all but give it last shot if he said later and didn't put serious effort pull yourself