Is 3 years too soon to get engaged?

[Anonymous]

I'm asking in reference to a conversation I had with a girlfriend the other day.

So, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Now, our circumstance is a bit different than most people. I met him October 14th, 2017. We became completely inseparable and were together every single day. Started dating officially on November 1st, 2017 and we moved in together by November 6th. It was super quick but.. the reason we moved that quick is because on the 3rd, the bank showed up on my doorstep with an immediate vacate of the premises. Apparently my landlord's property was up for foreclosure so I had been paying on a property that wasn't even technically his anymore. So I was homeless. My boyfriend immediately moved me in. It was tough but we made it work.

Anyways, so we have been living together for 3 years. The entire time that we have known eachother practically and this guy, he's a fucking gem. I'm madly in love with him. We got on the topic of marriage the other day and he said he was looking at rings. It was more of a nonchalant comment than anything else but regardless, I was excited to find out he was looking and reached out to a girlfriend.

She basically said that I was making a mistake and that 3 years was far too soon to get engaged. What do you guys think?

[bigCraneGuy]

I'm sure some people would say yes. I think as long as you wait until the initial oxytocin wears off. So-called honeymoon stage and you still love each other y'all should be okay as long as you're willing to work through the hard times.. that goes back to communication clearly stating to each other your goals and expectations for your lives and in a marriage is very important also whether or not each of you are okay with the thought of divorce and y'all should be on the same page on this one. My grandma told me when I was talking to her about asking my now wife to marry me she said you need to live with that woman for 2 years I said why my 86-year-old grandma leaned in and whispered in my ear no one can hold in a fart for two years. I laughed so hard period what she meant by that was you can't hide who you really are living with somebody for 2 years unless they just aren't paying attention. Anyway I asked my wife to marry me just 6 months after dating and we were married 3 months after that. She is my best friend my confidant I am the keeper of her soul and I take care of her heart period promises we may do each other that both of us intend to keep even though sometimes she wants to stab me in the forehead with a dull spoon we figured out talking usually has a better outcome.
No three years is not too soon if y'all agree that it's not. I wish all the best

[Asker]

Thank you for this! See, our honey moon phase comes and goes. It's kind of odd to me, I will admit. But even 3 years in, we are just so happy in each others company and dare I say, comfortable. Like, you know how a lot of couples have those awkward silences that make you question everything? We dont have that. We genuinely enjoy each others company, silence or not. He's my best friend. We have lived together for the 3 years that we have been together and I have seen him at his absolute worst and vice versa.

[bigCraneGuy]

That's one thing. I haven't been married but for six years and was lucky enough to have a very good family upbringing as role models. My mother and father would tell each other everyday how much they loved each other and would always try to talk to instead of talking at each other but to recognize that when things did get heated that calmer heads always prevail.
No good decision was ever made from emotion alone.

[bigCraneGuy]

36 years later my parents still have tickle fights and it's the cutest damn thing.
Knowing that my wife did not have the same examples growing up having six different step dads all real bags of s***. She grew up watching her mother leave at the first sign of trouble so I knew I was going to have to be calm and patient with my wife to gain her trust in our relationship. And that I would never intentionally do anything to hurt her heart.

[bigCraneGuy]

@asker this is where my grandfather saying of Never letting a woman's flowers wilt comes into play.
My take away from those words is to always pay attention to what they're not saying and constantly provide essential nutrients and sun. (Never stop dating your spouse) don't take time to listen. make time.

[DannyUk2017]

If you don't make a step after 3 years, i'm sure when u2 reach at 5 you'll get bored as fuck, of each other and u'll break up! I know a few couples that have waited even 7 years and then either him/her said.. u know what? Doesn't want to get married, then fuck it!
Thats how it gpes with "couples" these days...
Most don't thing of marriage anymore they feel good in to the boyfriend/girlfriend skin, so that's why they don't rush in to it, but the life style that they have looks like thei are married!

[DannyUk2017]

Sorry for mistakes, working outside and its cold...😁😁

[Asker]

Not a problem lol

[DannyUk2017]

Hehe... Thank You!

[EllieEmma99]

It really depends on the people. My best friend got engaged to her partner after a year and it is what worked for them, my partner and I have discussed it although circumstances means it will be after weve been dating 2 years where we finally can. Some dont look into it till the 9/10 year mark... what works for each couple is diffrent, so if this is what you and your partner wants and it us what works for you, go for it

[jennifer_bloom]

my uncle and aunt married within 6 weeks and have been together for over 37 years and they have a very healthy marriage - I know cause I used to live with them for 3 months every summer when I was a kid.

[Walt832]

Waaay to early. Don't rush it. I swear, just with the flow stop counting.

My ex girlfriend we barely were dating for 6 months when she said "once we hit 3 years we gonna get married". I said "wow wow hold up not saying I want a solid relationship but dang you already setting a time frame that isn't how it works". Then she said, oh so how we gonna live together? I asked her, " you telling me you won't live together first? She said " my parents won't allowed me, I must be married before leaving home". I was like 😳🤨 naaaaa this won't work. I call the quits.

Ever since I stayed single. I am glad I did. I was able to focus in my business than worrying on the relationship.

Do I want a relationship yes but I don't want a rush I wanna take my time. Like when you cook a delicious plate 😋. I don't want a 3 minutes maruchan noodles.

[AN1995]

3 years is a long time.
thats not too soon at all.

to spend 3 years of your life with someone that says somthing.

your friend ither is jellous, of you and wants to put stuff in your head.
or
Hates committing./. Is not marrige matterial her self,

i say if you love the guy, And He loves you.

Marry him and dont look back.

3 years is more than enough time

[spartan55]

I think your girlfriend is jealous and/or resentful because you are happy. (Women are notorious for doing this). So her feelings are being shown through her remark. Three years is more than enough for most reasonable people to know if they want to get married or not.

[MissDawn7961]

women are not nortorious with being jealous ! so you are lying here ! by the way have you found a large enough magnifying glass so she / he can see your grain of salt sized manhood? if not then good ! for using a high powered magnifier just to find that - little thing - is not worth it and man is yours ugly too ! thanks for having something to laugh at down there , ha , ha , ha ,

[spartan55]

Wtf are you saying?

[DocT1977]

First, every situation is different. My wife and I got engaged after about six months of dating. About three months later, we got married. We're working on our 15th year being married now.

[Lynzerilee]

It's never a matter of how much time. 3 years seems fair but only you can dertermine if it's too soon, if she feels that you're going too fast then that's how it feels and you should take more time.

[Lliam]

I proposed to my wife after a year. I was sure about her. But I was 41 and had experience. She was 39. We got married a year later and we've been married now for 24 years.

[JaneDoe377]

Maybe for some but not for others. My brother and his wife got engaged after 3 months and married the same year. They're the happiest couple i know and have been together 13 years.

[Anonymous]

it took me a year and a half to work up the courage to propose to the woman i been in love with for 3 years now. and to this day i still call her my wife (even though technically she isn't) and i been with her for 3 years now. in fact around the same dates you mentioned is when i met mine. October 2017 (or September 2017?)

[Miristheiss]

No... it is expected?
I was married 1 year and 5 months aftwr meeting my wife.
3 years... just to get engaged. Yikes.

[TheFlak38]

it only takes four months to really get to know somebody. After four months if there are any red flags you start to see them if you have your eyes open. This "two and three and four years" is nonsense.

[VirgoLady]

You need to at least go through all the seasons. I found out something about my husband at 6 months that I didn't know and could have changed everything.

[Josephinemunich]

For me too soon as anything less than 1 Year. 3 Years sounds good to me :)

[Danny_dan92]

It strictly depends what things you have established in that time.


If you two have been living together for at least 1 year? Then no. I do not think it’s too soon

[slatyb]

Not at all. About one year should be enough. But not before 24.

[DizzyDesii]

I’d want to get engaged after a year or two. I wouldn't wait around for 3

[KatherineJ]

I think it’s plenty of time. If you are confident that he is “THE ONE”, then it’s time to start dress shopping and planning your wedding. Good luck!

[sheikalana]

No, that's not too soon. There's people getting engaged after dating for 6 months or one year.

[Anonymous]

Even after 6months it's okay.. Depends where you both are in your lives and don't follow any time limits.. Just do what feels right

[BButterfly]

You can get engaged and marry the moment you feel ready there is no time limit for that

[TacosRAwesome]

Nah 3 years is absolutely perfect time to get engaged.

[iFarted]

It really depends on the individuals, where they are in life and the relationship. I have a coworker/friend that got married after a year