If a boyfriend doesn't ask for a woman's body count is it likely because he doesn't want to know it?

[Anonymous]

The irony is I'm a 35 year-old woman with a very low count of just 1. He never asked about it (and neither do I) so I'm assuming he doesn't want to know anything about my past relationship nor cares about it.

We've been dating for nearly 7 months now. I met him when I was still 34 and we're dating with intention; sex is being withheld for that reason.

Is he never asked me ''how many you been with'' question, is likely he doesn't want to know?

Updates

1 y

dating with intention means dating for marriage and kids

[RuthlessAggression]

I don't need to know how many people she's been with (and noticed i said "people", in case she claims she's "bi" especially if it's only as an attention fucking whore)

I only need to know if she's got STDS, Current kids, Current legal trouble with any of the people she's been involved with, Current boyfriends, other than me

I need to know all these things, that way I can make an informed decision on whether I want to stay with her or not.

I could care less about how many people she's been with

[RuthlessAggression]

Dating with intention doesn't have to mean marriage and kids

[Asker]

In my case, we both agreed with wanting marriage and kids. He knows very well I want those things.

[RuthlessAggression]

I don't want either, sorry

[Asker]

That's fine. Just make sure you are upfront about not wanting that to any woman you date. The important thing is being honest about your intentions and goals.
For instance I was honest about not being interested in cohabitation. I don't do the living together with a boyfriend modern thing, not my goal.

[RuthlessAggression]

I don't either

Will i ever find a woman if i don't want marriage or kids

[Asker]

Yes, just keep searching, be honest and don't do what cowards do; lying about wanting them just to get an easier access to sex. If you do that, eventually you will have to dump them or wait to get dumped and go the search all over again... it would be a waste of time for you and her.

[RuthlessAggression]

I think you're lying

[Asker]

You really think you can't find what you want? Actually are certain women (not much but they exist) that never want kids nor marriage. Find them instead of wasting time with women that want commitment.

[RuthlessAggression]

I can guarantee you, EVERY woman, wants kids, whether they say it or not. GUARANTEED

[YouaskedBrian]

I think when you're in college, people are all fixated on the numbers. I think when you grow up and are in your 30's-40's it doesn't really matter in my mind. If you're dating in your 30's, you're likely dating people who've been through a lot of life experiences. Divorce, maybe kids. The number doesn't seem as important. An STD test is probably the more relevant precaution.

[shaysh87]

sweetie, a man who judges a woman by body count is not a decent guy. If a man truly loves a woman, he wouldn't care how many past relationships she had before. He just wants to be with you because he genuinely wants you and enjoys your company. He is supposed to love you for who you are , not your body count. If you were madly in love with a man, would it matter to you if he had dated 7 girls in the past? No it won't.

[Smashingdoozy]

Probably doesn't care. Not like it makes a difference

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe he doesn't ask you because that would be an invitation for you to pose the same question to hm.

[Anonymous]

That sex being withheld thing is what sounds weird to me, especially since neither of you are virgins.
I'm of the belief that it's good to see if you're sexually compatible before you get married. If it's meant to be it will be, but withholding sex makes it sound like some kids nd of manipulation tactic using sex as currency to get what you want.

[Asker]

He was actually the one that suggested waiting till marriage and it felt a relieve for me, relieve from not getting pressure into him, relieve of not making excuses to withheld sex and someone that actually wants a family. There is a lot of time for sex, not so much to have at least one child.

[Asker]

relieve from not getting pressure from him...

[Asker]

In terms of not being sexual compatible... the good thing is if it happens after marriage, then we would work it out. Unlike when you're just in a relationship and have that issue, you can leave easily and I lose right there.

[Opinion Owner]

So kinda like a trap? LoL!

[Asker]

If he suggested (it came from his own mouth) waiting till marriage to me, not me suggesting it... can you really call it a trap? He knows clearly what I want.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess not.
Somehow he trapped himself this time, lol.
Oh well, for me and my ex we started living together and having sex pretty early on. It didn't stop us from progressing in our relationship, getting married and having a kid. I guess I see withholding sex from one another to be unnecessary. At least you two are in a serious relationship and I respect that a lot, especially these days.

[Asker]

It would be cool if things were that easy (getting into relationship, moving in, lots of sex and then marriage) but nowadays I see more people breaking-up after living together for some time than actually getting married afterwards. We're usually at disadvantage when that happens because we have to start all over again and have less time by time. It's time against biology. This is why if we don't choose wisely, then we can be screwed.
I didn't live together with my first boyfriend and it was still my biggest waste of time.

[Opinion Owner]

That's true, you're a smart lady. Your low bodycount also gives the impression that you take commitment seriously.
I think more people should get into serious relationships in their early 20's while they still value monogamy, rather than sleeping around with a lot of people, then trying to settle down with only one.
Anyone can cheat, but I feel like people with a history of being promiscuous are less likely to stay loyal through the hard times.

[Asker]

Your last sentence is correct and it applies to both genders. I had to learn the hard way that a guy with a high count would never propose, would string me along forever by lovebombing me like crazy with false promises, I would never be the last women for him (by then... the person with a high count probably can't bond anyone; they are broken; they are damaged) and my mother hated him whenever he took pictures flirting with other girls at a club and then claiming they were just ''friends'' from his work. I used to think people with questionable past (for both genders) deserved second chance but nope... not anymore. They're broken people.
Come to think of it, my current boyfriend's manners and concepts about commitment sounds similar to me.

[Asker]

I would never be the last woman for him
Now that I'm with my current boyfriend... yes he's a big difference (we actually have things in common) in comparing to the loser that wasted my time.

[Anthony20108]

I mean what does it matter how many you have slept with in your past relationships, as long as your loyal.

[Asker]

True. We're happy in our now 8 month old relationship.

[Anthony20108]

congrats! im totes jelly tbh xD.

[Avicenna]

I've never asked any of my partners. He may not care, but he may also have concluded on his own that it isn't high.

[Changiis07]

He might just already know or yes does not want to ask

[Onceuponoflove]

He doesn't care about your past he cares about the woman standing in front of him.

[GreatnessBack]

Why do people ask for a body count? If a person doesn't have kids or an STD, who cares?

And if you come with some reasoning, then you are just rationalizing being a little bitch.

[dreamstar72]

Love = what’s the point of asking
to

Like = what’s the point of asking

[whiskeyontherocks]

I’ll never ask unless it starts getting in the way like every time we go out we see another X.

[Anonymous]

Unless there are kids or STDs involved than what’s the point of knowing this information (both sides)? Really?

[dustybiker]

He’s probably polite.

[Anonymous]

that might be the reason. he may be afraid that you've slept with more than one person

[comrade007]

No... May be he fear that u may got offended and think him creep... Or may be he scanned U alrdy

[Aurora1010]

Perhaps he doesn't care

[TrueConfection]

He respects you and that's none of his business.

[Celticwolf78]

Well if he's a true man he doesn't care about it

[Fireguy17]

I've never asked.

[Asker]

cool

[boggboss]

Yes or don't care

[roy_ricky09]

Ofcourse

[JennieF]

Yeah probably.