What makes a relationship go "stale"?

[RedStealthOperative]

I've heard couples say after years of marriage that they lost that "spark" in the relationship, or something like that. They "fall" out of love, so to speak. How does a couple stay together for so long, and then all of a sudden start to lose interest?

What do you think are some reasons for this, and what could be done to prevent a relationship from going "stale"?

[dynamicyandere]

As someone said before, it can boil down to lack of effort. They stop doing what they used to do that made them fall madly in love with each other in the first place. A series of remember when we used to. Or, one or both of them just change, and the chemistry is no longer the same.


Changes in what they do and changes in who they are.

[dynamicyandere]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Sparkie460]

The schedules differ, communication stops, no affection

[Sparkie460]

Thanks for the mho

[Anonymous]

Sometimes when you’ve been together for so long you just get too comfortable and forget to continue putting in the effort. Basically taking the relationship for granted bc you know that your partner is gonna be there for you no matter what, so a lot of people end up slacking.

[laurieluvsit]

Disrespect
Lack of attention
Lack of sex

Not necessarily in that order :)

[Weapon77]

Regardless how people in stale relationships might try to say, there are only a few accurate answers that aren't them trying to excuse or rationalize behavior. Getting lazy in the relationship by either becoming too self-involved/inconsiderate or outright choosing to not prioritize your partner over things that should take a backseat (like addictions, working too much when it's not necessary, or friends who you already spend plenty of time with). Family is trickier though since it really depends on if your S/O is apart of your family or not yet.

The other possibility is that the relationship was based on false, misunderstood, or negative feelings to begin with, and now that those are gone or have been realized, the shallowness of the relationship makes it feel hollow. This could mean the relationshionship began out of desperation on the part of one or more parties, it began out of a genuine affection that was misunderstood as more than platonic, or one or more parties explictly intended to use or abuse the other but things changed as they got to know each other better.

[Nikki1989]

The passion fades, the laughter fades and communication grinds to a halt, and you end up with 2 people that might as well be just roommates.

[ChrisMike1919]

R. O. U. T. I. N. E