Why is it disturbing to want a woman without a romantic past?

[MissingAWoman]

I am trying to remain somewhat hopeful and optimistic. I want to believe she is out there for me.

I am 27, almost 28, and I never had a real girlfriend. I went all throughout my youth and my adulthood now never being in a serious relationship.

Meanwhile, I am watching all my peers and former friends get married and have kids.

I am seeking a woman that has never had her first love. I want me and a woman to be each other's first real relationship.

You have to realize, when I meet a woman, me and her can never say we knew each other during our youth. We (or at least I) are grown adults at this point. We don't get to share that sweet, "adorable" sentiment of saying we grew up together or experienced our youth and innocence with each other.

A woman I meet could, and most likely has, already experienced that with someone else. She likely would have given her heart to someone when they were both young and experienced young romance with that person.

What if she can reunite with someone from her youth and it be a sweeter, more desirable, and "cuter" outcome?

I don't want to be a subsequent boyfriend, especially because I never been in a real relationship before. I don't want to give my heart for the first time to a woman who has already loved and potentially made love to someone else, especially from her youth.

Remember, this is going to be my first time being in a relationship. It is going to be intense and new for me. I want it to be the same for her too.

[AmandaYVR]

Wanting someone with no past is about your own insecurity. Guys like this don't want her to be able to compare them to their past partners.

There's some merit to wanting to experience everything together, for the first time. But the older one gets, the harder this will be to find. So you're setting yourself up for disappointment, putting too many parameters on relationships.

[MissingAWoman]

I mean, I can be a great boyfriend, but what if that other guy and her were meant to be together after all? Again, we can never say we spent our youth together, while that other guy can.

[MissingAWoman]

... I am almost willing to sell my soul and travel the whole world to find the woman that I am wanting.

[AmandaYVR]

No, you don't understand. The common lament, question, regret, from people who spend their entire lives with one person, is sometimes they wonder what life would have been like, could have been like, with another. Being with others, and it not working out, tells you something too. You then have a better basis by which to compare. Some people like this, because they feel more confident, "There's no one else out there for me."

[MissingAWoman]

I understand, but you also hear stories of old people reuniting with their high school sweethearts and it is a sweet love story. I don't want to be a subsequent lover.

[AmandaYVR]

You can go after whoever you want. But you've asked multiple qs about this, and we're just saying it will make the search for a partner even harder. But you always reply the same way, so then go, try. It's your life.

[MissingAWoman]

I am just always worried I won't find her. It is a heavy burden on my shoulders.

[maximumpower]

So - you want an older woman WITHOUT a romantic past - essentially like you?
Stop and consider what got you where you are. Do you really want to go through life someone emotionally naive?
Short answer is that you're not going to get where you need to be unless you have someone who will get you where you need to be..
Hooking up with someone else as "in lost in the woods" as yourself is a recipe for disaster.

[Guy13]

It is not. Virgins or high moral women are attractive

[MissingAWoman]

It is not so much about who she slept with as much as it is who she LOVED.

[MissingAWoman]

Remember, she can have someone she loved when she was young and have a special place in her heart for him even though they never had sex.

[Guy13]

Yep and often you will have to compete against that memory even if it is a false positive. This is life...

[MissingAWoman]

I rather just find a woman that has no romantic past, even if I have to almost sell my soul and travel the entire world to find her.

[Emiliamazing]

My husband was near your age when we met. We both had prior relationships and histories with others. Those faded into the past and did not matter after we started dating.

Maturity leads to appreciation. The right woman will appreciate you and you will appreciate her regardless of the past. Someone who is confident in their current relationship or not revisit past relationships and think what if?

[MissingAWoman]

I never had a real girlfriend before tho, so it just doesn't feel as mutual giving my heart to a woman who has loved someone before me when she is my first relationship.

[Emiliamazing]

You can’t put your lack of previous relationships as a burden or expectation on her.

[Nkyshemera]

I've had too many superficial short-term relationships, but I've never been in love. I don't believe I can fall in love after this because I don't feel any emotion. I can like it the most when I meet someone, but it takes a short time, I get bored especially after sex. There are many women like me, I hope you find the one you want.

[MissingAWoman]

But you have a problem falling in love and bonding from sex it looks like.

[Nkyshemera]

I don't know, but in those days it's hard to find real love

[Anonymous]

Stick to your dream. I agree with you. A Virgin girl is always the best no extra baggage to be concerned with. And when it comes to women the more partners they had the less they have to offer except for a looser vagina and more temptation to cheat on you . Don't listen to the "loose' girls on her they are just jealous that they are getting less desirable by the day. You will find that one true love.

[XXblack88]

Finding a partner who hasn't had a romantic past is almost impossible to find in this day and age. Where casual sex is the norm especially the older you get.

[MissingAWoman]

She can be younger than me of course. I am willing to travel the world and almost sell my soul to find a woman like this, if it kills me. Who she slept with doesn't matter as much as who she LOVED, especially from her youth.

[anon1903]

I think that's okay, considering you haven't had the experience either

[MissingAWoman]

The question is how I go about finding her. An international trip maybe?

[ComradeCurze]

This is pathetic and almost sad. Almost.

[MissingAWoman]

Why do you say that?

[In_Trance]

I don't know about disturbing but it's unrealistic

[MissingAWoman]

Did you read why? I came so close to having a girl like that, but she ended up meeting and marrying someone else. I am willing to almost sell my soul and travel the world to find another woman like her.

[In_Trance]

Yes I read it. The fact that you'd do that is pathetic but you do you. Close doesn't count. It either was or wasn't.