I’ll leave some links to videos that are relevant to my question but it’s like male gamers love to gate keep games so much. It’s annoying asf, one time I was literally just playing vr chat with one of my other friends and these group of boys just made rape jokes about how they would rape us. It was super disturbing, who tf even makes jokes like that and this type of stuff isn’t even the worst that’s happened to me since I love play cod and cod lobbies are extremely toxic. On top of that it’s like a universal thing female gamers have to go threw.
Why is this, it’s like men think they own gaming or something. And they make fun if gamers girls if they’re “trash” when in reality why can’t they just enjoy a god damn game without the toxicity, it’s just a game and they take it so concerning.
I love gaming and me and my best friend (male; so they don’t really have to worry about this) want to start streaming soon for fun but I’m worried I’m going to have to go threw bs since I’m a poc female gamer. Does any other female gamers go threw the same thing, and do other male gamers know why this happen\gate keep games from women and why?
So I sawed a short video documentary or interviews. I can't remember the video title for the life of me right now. However, from what I studied on this matter a couple of years ago about like Gamer gate and A. Sarkeesian. I found that it comes down to the inception of video games and the marketing behind it.
History is very important to understanding today's attitudes and assumptions as messages or what people think as truths are somethings just misguided ads or harmful stereotypes or paid science research papers.
I will focus more on Ads and Stereotypes. So first of all we have to remember that Men created a lot of the technology we use today and that Men were the gate (and are kind of still) of Science and Tech. Women have had a hard time entering the work force because of the attitudes towards women back in the day. Hell even now some countries, cultures, religions still strongly believe in the Patriarchy; that women should just do house work while men do everything else. My point is that History, labor, education, science, and technology are Male dominated even to this day.
So the whole gamer gate issue became a talking point and a bad rap for Anita Sarkeesian, does raise an important issue about women and video games. Most games are tailored around men/boys as main characters and play as the hero. While she purposed solutions or tried... researching... they ultimately fell through. And I don't think she ever made a game for women. As side from her missteps, lets focus on the game industry after her? outburst? I think this lead to two major games with strong female leads such as Horizon Zero Dawn and Last of Us part 2. (and maybe Walking dead telltale games season 3+). Her point was valid although it was met with opposition. Games then and even now still lack strong female characters. And when they are introduced they are usually a support role or a love interest for the male character to build off of. However, when there are female characters they aren't portrayed very well or have little to no character. One example of a controversial female lead is Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, yes she is a bad-ass however, at the same time sexualized. Now the newer games made her more tough and have more character. Another would be Samus from Metroid while... its old and contains little dialogue the character's gender wasn't revealed until you beat the game. It stood out because it was hard, and the shock factor of playing as a "girl" blew many male gamers minds.
Gamers also pointed out Mass Effect for allowing to choose between Male and Female characters. Some argue over the non-dynamic dialogue between genders, however, given the resources... I'd say that would be a tough one to do. And they did the best with what they had without compromising the story and feel of the game. I'd say it was a good choice because in the end whether your a man or a woman in the game... your a bad ass renegade or a nice paragon. Its your choice.
So how does this translate to esports or competitive gaming? it kind of doesn't however, boy/men that grew up with games have been told that games are for boy/men while girls/women should play with dolls or bake something for fun. Through TV shows, movies, and Ads the message is clear and created a divide. Some also argue that trash talking is part of competitive play and if you let that get to you then you are weak/tilt and reduces your overall performance. Sometimes it can be funny other times it can be hurtful, and should we regulate it? Who knows... Now, we know that in real professional competition there isn't trash talk because that's just BM. Why is it more toxic towards women? probably because of an inferiority complex. Boy/Men get made fun of or oust or at least feel like that if they lose to a girl/women. And it doesn't help when the girl/women piles on too. She could get mad respect from the people she's playing with.
Damn I am going over the word limit... Okay Wrap it up...
So Guys feel pressured because of what society expects of men (being superior over women), Marketing ad tell them that its made for men, and lastly the negative stigma over the decades being called a gamer. All this packed into competitive play forces guys to play aggressively and talk aggressively towards each other because it's a battle to be the best. Any advantages whether it is venting their anger and psychologically crippling their opponents or maybe even their teammate can possible help them (individually). Add a woman/girl to that then... it can create more stress to win either with or against them because playing together means they are one "man" down or we have an "advantage" and should win with ease. Another aspect is claiming video games as a "space" for men.
There is much more to this. and can be connected to the world at large. but I hope this helps. If you want to talk about it more let me know.
Ok so as a male gamer, there are a few things I need to point out.
Those types of trash males exist outside of video games, as do trash females.
Most male gamers are actually really nice, and it pisses me off when guys do that shit, but if you are playing any realistic shooter, or any moba, or mmo, or sports game, or games that reward trolling, most of the vocal community in stuff like that are toxic garbage meathead jocks, and they don't treat female gamers like trash, they treat EVERYONE like trash. Also I'm really glad I find call of duty, gta, mobas, and mmos to be boring af lol.
No matter what you play, if it's competative, or it has team effort, you will have occassional trash talkers calling you shit at the game and bitching that it costed them whatever loss, unless you are pro level good at it (and possibly even then as well). Especially raid boss fights in mmos or team based pvp. These are always people who rage when they lose in a game by the way. As for the type of trash talking in your vid, see the paragraph above this one, I cannot count the number of times some dickhead told me they screwed my mom or some other bs in the past, I don't use gamechat anymore unless I have to.
So yeah never use game chat, ever, for any reason, unless you absolutely have to. Use party chat, make online friends, use the xbox looking for group to play x game option (or whatever it's called on the platform you play on), talk to them. Most people who use game chat are insane toxic people, because any sane person doesn't want drunks, assholes, or 5 year olds screaming in their ear.
What you experienced is something us guys go through too, very often if we were to play the trash game genres I mentioned above and use game chat, but we don't go on social media complaining about it, we instead call the assholes out, report them, block them, and move on to playing another round, and if it's most of the community for that game being toxic, we either kick their ass in the game to the point of them rage quitting, or we leave and play something with a nicer community in it (sometimes both).
As with any social experience, jerks will exist, but on gaming systems, you have the magic of the block button, the mute button, and the ability to choose who to interact with in most cases. Don't let them push you out of gaming. This isn't a gatekeeper thing, men in general want women to play videi games more, not less, it's a women need to start growing thicker skin thing. The community is not going to change into "everyone is nice", and as guys, we accepted that a long time ago, so you just need to use the filtering options your platform gives you and be choosey about who you party chat with, just like nice guys do.
You know I hear about female gamers having this issue all the time, but in all my years of gaming, I've NEVER faced toxicity or weird behavior from guys online.
Yes, they hear me talk. Heck me and a close friend (male) run a discord channel and I lead most of our dungeon runs. They respect me, know I can pull decent dps, and play my class well. Plus I'm fun to run with.
I guess I'm lucky that the majority of guys I've met over the years were older, not immature brats, gay, they're dads with kids in real life (so they know what girls face online), or they're just used to female gamers I wasn't a novelty or shock to them.
My assumption is that the ones that do treat females that way assume they can't keep up, play as well as they do, or if you do better than them, it hurts their little ego.
... and then some guys just lack social skills and/or manners, and are assholes. There's no excusing their behave other than they think because they're online or playing a game, there's no repercussions for being toxic towards females.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let some toxic a-holes ruin what you enjoy! Find you some close friends you trust and enjoy playing with and run with them. If you do come across any? Block. Those same idiots are probably the main ones whining about why they can't get a girlfriend, lol.
I think a lot of the hate comes from from the ego of most gamers also from the behavior of some female gamers.
Im can understand it, even I see in some "female gamers" some girls who aren't into gaming and more into getting collecting likes on social media and stuff
Or girls who are obviously very bad in a game but use their boobs, smile and cuteness to cut it down.
I was the only one in the room back than, who said she was bad haha other guys had been like oh no poor thing and stuff.
What disgust me more is, guys seeing an opportunity to get a date, ons and stuff with a girl who fakes heir bad game play
It's a stereotype. I game all the time. Whether I'm partying with female friends or randomly stumbling upon them in team-chats, I have NEVER (not to say it doesn't happen, I'm sure it does rarely) heard someone be disrespectful to a female, let alone because she is a female. In fact, often times it's the opposite. Many guys you'll notice will suddenly go quiter the moment a girl speaks, or occasionally compliment her for something, entirely void of complimenting anyone else or anyone prior.
And I haven't watched the videos you provided. Maybe I should, but my very thorough and extensive experience with video games certainly suffices in this regard. Anyone can come across uncommon occurrences, record it, and post a video about it. What those videos can't do, or don't do, is show what's outside of the frame. They won't show you how the hundred (s) of games prior and the hundred (s) (if not thousands) of games after don't include bad experiences.
When you see a video of a plane crash, you don't say "wow, why do planes crash so much?" Because you know that just because someone made a video about it, without including all the times planes don't crash, it's an uncommon occurrence.
CoD lobbies do have a history with being very toxic, though, lol. But they're not representative of virtually all other games.
There also needs to be acknowledgement that not all toxicity is because you're a girl. Even in communities that are pretty decent, toxicity occurs and men get it, too. So you can't just assume the toxicity is because I'm you're a girl (unless the toxicity express girl-specific things).
Lastly, some of the videos regarding "girl-gamef abuse online" is real questionable and seems like they hired someone to say nasty things. This has been accused a number of times, I don't know if any of the videos you linked is one of them. Like they'll say they'd "rape" them in very unnatural sounding ways. Keep in mind that people have agendas to push and views to get and possibly money to make.
But to clarify, I'm sure girls have a harder time on games. There ARE some insecure gate keeping men online, but they're very incommon.
The simple change of character in a game from male to female or female to male, makes a seriously huge difference to the type of traffic within the game AND after it...
it does need improved, yes guys get shit from other guys, but it does not have the huge bullying and fucking creepy element to it.
Sorry you encounter such assholes on a regular basis. We aren't all like that though. I wonder how much the perception of online anonymity has to do with it. Not to mention the younger demographics, combined with fact that kids today are often poorly socialised. Would you say the males who harass you online sound pretty young? A 14 year old boy versus a 30 year old man (who ostensibly should know better from maturity) might as well be two different species altogether. I look around at how the local schoolkids behave, and I'm amazed their teachers or parents don't just go postal on them. And so then they go online where there's no threat of public exposure or physical retaliation, and they harass anyone and everyone in the name of "trolling", but they'll go the extra step of being mysoginistic towards female players because... well... if you figure out why that is, then do let me know. Point being, I think a lot of it comes down to immaturity and poor upbringing of younger males who look to online gaming as an outlet for their aggression. You'll know when you're playing with older, properly socialised and civil guys in the public lobby chats, because they'll be focused on actually playing the game and having a good time. If it's a competitive game, you might still get dunked on a bit if you're playing poorly and dragging the team down, but that's kinda how it is for *anyone*. There's a certain level of competitive aggression that's just part of the sociolect of online gaming, but it's never an excuse to target someone because they're a certain gender or race or sexual orientation.
Because unfortunately a lot of these types of men are the ones who do nothing BUT play video games and it's there whole life then wonder why they can't get a girlfriend and instead of looking at themselves decide to resent all women for it. No decent guy hates on a girl for doing what she enjoys so don't let it ruin it for you. you just have to pitty them types of people. They obviously suffer from low self-esteem and can't handle a woman possibly being better at a game then them that's how pathetic they are.
I agree for the most part, but I do think as a society we want to belive that these guys bring their issues on their own. Many guys are lonely, like women, but they don't generally have the same social support networks. Gaming to many is that escape. It's not that they do nothing else because they love gaming that much, most of them just simply. dont see any alternative.
Guys lack a lot guidance in learning to be social. On its face it looks like "some are born with, some aren't".
I'm not excusing their actions, but I don't think it's fair to assume they're maliciously being assholes for enjoyment (many do) but everyone's struggling in different ways.
Also it's not really about being better or not. To them it's like seeing the people who would make fun of them in school all of sudden do the things they made fun of them for doing without addressing or apologizing for making fun of them for it.
Not saying it's right, but that it can be a feeling.
Umm that's just gaming to anyone. Men insult each other all the time too in gaming. People send each other "Your trash" without even needing to know your gender first. Like anything i am sure some sexist people may say something. But majoirlty that's just gaming culture no matter your gender.
People in gaming online, have less patience due to themselves been inderpendent with teaching themselves how to get good at it. So they expect everyone else too. Then you have trash players who just blame you cause there bad at the game.
Also Vrchat is just full of people making offensive jokes. Tbh that's why i like it. It's not meant to be PC or serious. It's mostly joking.
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Has not ever been my experience in gaming, though I hear about this all the time. To be fair, I play games almost exclusively with people I know in the real world these days, and usually in private chat lobbies.
One exception I'll mention though, was in RPGs. Over a decade ago I used to play a few of them and there was a pretty substantial although generally discreet female demographic in those games, but there was (and still is AFAIK) a large number of guys who pose as or pretend to be girls, for various reasons (usually scamming/mooching). This caused a lot of people in these games to be very suspicious especially in the absence of voice chatting, and some game clubs and clans wouldn't let anyone in without doing something to confirm who they really were first. You've also got a lot of people who take games way too seriously, and it brings out their worst sides even if it's not something they would normally do.
THE GAMER COMUNITY IS TOXIC NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE.
This is the last place you wanna gk screaming harassment trust me. Gamers trash talk eachother all the time, they say the craziest things no one especially focused on dissing that girl in the video because she's a girl in fact many were shocked became they play for years and haven't met one, she showed the ones who asked if they can added her as a part of a "harassment" list, its how things go in these games people chat on the mike, add eachother, play a while, and move on.
And the one who said this is a boy game he's clearly under 10 years old no old enough to represent male harassment yet he too was in the video.
As for the standard trash talk it's part of the game as I said we all take it we all get into it from time to time (I don't often put on a mic) it's normal and no guy ever complained about it.
Well, in the current times we have freaks out there who claim that rape jokes are free speech. Even threats of rape directed at female players. They don't get that threats of violence is not free speech. It is a crime.
That's why we need to start emptying our jails of drug offenders and start putting these online crazies in jail.
It's not usually because you're a girl, it's because some people are just dicks and will try to piss you off any way they can. With girls, this will tend to be sexism as it's an easy way to get some to have a meltdown. Shit talking is something that guys have to deal with all the time, especially in competitive environments, be it basketball or a videogame. It's just that girls will deal with specific subsets of bullying that guys usually don't, but both times the pricks doing it are just trolls looking for a reaction that will bring them amusement.
Easy answer: gaming is not, shall we say, a particularly social hobby, and even less so with a prohibitively small population of girls playing "hardcore" mainstream games like online shooters. Yes, there's some limited capacity to voice-chat with people, but beyond that they're still just avatars interacting with each other, not in-person communication. They can say and do whatever they like, much like this site, and see no major repercussion for their controversy. The end-result is naturally a digital man-cave with a high-test bunch of troglodytes venting some truly toxic steam, and you know what? That's not the worst thing in the world. Better they have an outlet than that they don't, though they could probably channel it to something more productive.
But in short: you do not go into the ocean and wonder why there are fish there.
Well the simple answer is that anonymity allows people to be terrible. Also a lot of people are small fish in a big pond who take a lot of shit from people and then take their frustration out on people in voice chat because what are they going it do about it?
I'm a guy and I have had people shit talk me plenty of times. That's why I don't talk to people online anymore. It's usually just 12 year olds saying they banged your mom.
As for being s girl I'm sure you get several sexual messages sent your way. The best thing you can do is to report and block them and move one. Clean up the community and don't allow your kids to act that way.
Or if you want I be a troll get a voice changer and just screw with them. 😂
They don't treat only female gamers as trash they treat everyone as trash. But not all gamers. My friend summarised this well"You will either find the nicest people on there or the most toxic". In a competitive world like gaming such things happen normally, if you let words get the better of you, then they got inside you. Don't react to such comments. Staying calm is the best. Also people will do anything to win, so wherever you go there will always be haters. It comes down to you, who you pay attention to. Dont give in to negativity, stay optimistic
Because most are. Female gamers who can actually game, are respected in the community. Those who suck but show off a rather pleasant decolletè are not gamers, but just OnlyFans broads in the making. Gaming is for gamers what football is for jocks: you don't piss all over my "sport" or favourite hobby to get other kind of renown that are not directly dependent to your skills as a gamer. That's why a whole lot of female "gamers" get the stink eye. Good gamers are actually treasured by the community.
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I think toxicity is a universal thing against all players and its much more common in some games than others.
The thing is usually you have no idea who is behind the game character, unless you are streaming or using voice chat or actually telling people, which in my experience is really rare (at least in the games i play).
I had problems with toxic players espacially in League of Legends, so i simply stopped playing this game. My time is to valuable to be wasted with assholes in a mediocore game.
Now i play Final Fantasy XIV and in 2000 hours of play time i had maybe 2 or 3 toxic players.
Gaming culture is just toxic in general, and being a girl is just one thing that they can use to make fun of you. If you weren't a girl, they'd still make fun of you, it would just be about your skill at the game, what your voice sounds like, your race, religion, or generic roasting, etc. instead.
Yea, the video gaming community is really toxic. I don't know what it is, but when people are boxed off from each other they seem to feel like it gives them the license to be a-holes. It's like how when you're driving you have a much lower threshold for tolerance in response to other people's mistakes; some folks who are really nice in person can get set off very easily when they're driving. I feel like the same phenomena is at play in the online gaming community. You describe its manifestations pretty well in your post.
And yea, men are mostly responsible for the kinds of toxicity you make reference to. Men are more bellicose, and some idiots/children like to harass women to put on a show for their friends. It sucks that you are experiencing the sexual harassment, especially given your age, but sadly, there isn't much you can do aside from muting and reporting them.
Keep your head up, and don't let the internet trolls ruin your fun.
1) Legitimate sexism. Either from an inability to interact with women or because they hold actually derogatory views. 2) Culture proxy. They act that way because that's just how they'd been conditioned to it and how it's been for the longest time. 3) Social pressures. If you do it you're an asshole, but everyone's doing it. If you don't do it you're a simp, and both sexes seem to believe the latter in most cases.
This is why I love having such flexibility in my voice. I hate jumping into voice chat in Overwatch and hearing comments about girl gamers. So when they say something I just fluctuate through a bunch of different voices until they aren't sure anymore.
