I met my ex in Sept 2021 and broke up at the end of April. Ultimately it was down to lack of progress in the relationship and miscommunication. In January we had a chat about it not progressing and kind of drifted to April where she decided she wanted out. I also felt similar at the time. But mentally I wasn't in a great place. I essentially started pushing her away due to my own demons. The result was she pushed me away and that lead to the end. I was just numb not because of her but because I was soo caught up in my own head.
Fast forward to now. She never instigates a convo with me but always replies. We had a chat about the break up a couple of months ago and she told me how she felt and it was a result of how I made her feel. I was just becoming distant, she didn't feel appreciated, wanted etc. Ironically I learnt more in that exchange than during the relationship. I did ask her if she wanted to try again end of May and she said she didn't want to go back to how it was and wanted to just be friends. Since then we exchange messages here and there every few weeks. I always instigate and she always replies.
I've done a lot of work on myself since. I feel like a better person now. Ironically I couldn't have improved myself without the break.
I messaged her to say could we chat. Having exchanged random messages. But she always seemed to busy. Kind of felt like she was avoiding me. I left her a voice note explaining how I felt and I wanted to try again & explaining my journey.
She responded and said she would think about it. She said she doesn't believe people can change that quickly but maybe they could. That was what was holding her back atm. I responded and said a bit more. Anyways, she said she would come back to me when she can and that she's not ignoring me. This was just over a week ago.
Should I just leave her be and wait for her reply? How long do girls often need? In the mean time I guess I just carry on with my life.
Yeah, I think it’s time for you to move on. You’ve tried more than once to get the ball rolling, and she’s doesn’t seem interested in getting into that again. I’m sure it’s hard for you since you feel like you’ve made the right changes, but I think the best thing to do here is to take your growth, and apply it to a new relationship.
Thanks. Appreciate your response. I guess there isn't much more that I can do. I guess Im probably coming across needy now but a week or so seems like a longish time to see if you fancy getting back together on top of the 3 months we have been apart. God I feel like such a loser lol
Hey don’t be hard on yourself, you must really care about her a lot to have kept trying. At least you can walk away from the situation knowing you did what you could and to me that’s most important.