Do you have any secrets you are afraid your partner/potential partner might discover?

[Msputiton]

If you are comfortable you can share it here, if not i completely understand

[Babygirl_S]

I am strongly attracted to handsome white men and my future husband will most likely be an Indian as I don't live around white men. I am afraid that it'll make him angry or he may feel inadequate. I wish I could change my preference.
I don't want to hurt anyone or myself. All my fantasies are about hot white men with blue eyes and dark hair. I also write my feelings in a diary so eventually he will find out.
Even my celebrity crush is white and whenever I tell my parents that I like this type of guys they flip out. I wonder how bad my future husband's reaction is going to be. He may not even believe that I saved myself for him and most women from my country who fancy white men are seen as whores for some reason.
I can't even solve the problem by somehow marrying a white man of my dreams. I know they don't like my type that much. I will end up divorced and lonely. They get divorced over trivial things instead of making the marriage work. This is a HUGE reason why Indian parents don't want their daughters to marry white men. The Indian culture is all about having only one partner in your life. Divorce is seen as a failure.
Many white men even get offended when I express my interest. They clearly don't like my ethnicity.
I am doomed just because I like a particular type of men. I want to stop liking them as they won't reciprocate the way I want them to. I have had friendly conversations with them but being someone's girlfriend or wife is totally different.
I wish I would like Indian men so much because they treat me so nicely. They obviously don't get annoyed when I show interest in them. I get surprised when they call me goddess, princess, angel etc. as I don't see myself that way. I seriously want to prefer Indian men. I'm almost crying as I type this 😢

[WonderBell99]

Well, you are an adult, aren’t you? You’re allowed to fancy whomever you like. You can marry whomever you want. Your parents controlling your life just seems very archaic. I understand Indian marriages and parent-child dynamics are quite complicated in India, but they’ll come around.

Though, it sounds like you’re fetishizing white men. Maybe you like the idea of being with a white guy? Maybe you should meet one and try to get to know him. They’re just like any other men of other ethnicities.

[Babygirl_S]

No I know that it's not a fetish but rather a preference because I'm not attracted to all of them. I also don't see them as objects. I just find them more physically attractive than others. I still get attracted to Indian men but not the way I like white men. I have interacted with many irl and they're different.

[WonderBell99]

I guess you could apply for jobs outside of India. Many companies outside India pay better.. and you could find what you’re looking for.

Your parents seriously shouldn’t control whom you date. That being said, saying white men divorce more is an overstatement. Divorce is a stigma in India. I’m sure many couple are unhappy in their marriages but are not open about it because it’s a taboo to get a divorce. Arranged marriages simply do not work unless the couple has similar goals and preferences. I’d suggest you try applying for international dating sites and then you could try talking to someone on there. I know plenty of Indians who have a successful married life with their foreign partners. Ethnicity does not matter. Your mutual communication skills, trust and respect does.

[Babygirl_S]

I didn't say white men divorced more. I meant a white man is more likely to divorce an Indian woman.

[WonderBell99]

Eh, not really. Only if the woman allows her family to interfere in their marital life.

[Babygirl_S]

They are not fond of Indian women.

[WonderBell99]

Heavily disagree.

[Losalt]

@Babygirl_S For quite a few of us Indians are actually quite appealing.
Getting different cultures to work together can be challenging.
But you definitely shouldn't give up on that if you want that.
Consider applying to study in Europe.
There's universities here that's free for non-citizens.
Although you might have to save up quite a bit to afford living expenses (although there's also grants that you may be able to get if you're lucky).

[SecretsofKB]

I really don't have any secrets that I keep from my partner. They really, truly know everything they need to about me. I figure that if I am willing to put the time and effort into this person, then I need to be willing to be open and honest about everything.

The only secrets I keep from her are work related things that are just too depressing to share. If she asks, I'll tell it all, but I am completely fine with not mentioning it.

But other than that, a relationship that needs secrets to be kept in order for the relationship to survive, is a relationship that is bound to crash and burn in a spectacular fashion.

[Anonymous]

Im a nymphomaniac. I love sex, I want to have it all the time. I want to do the strangest, most taboo things.

The problem is that outside of the bedroom I'm a relatively normal person, I work hard, want a family, I value purpose, principles and money.

But I haven't really met anyone who's into the same stuff as me who is compatible with me especially in the sense of being an overachiever.

I've had enough fun to be able to commit to someone when the right person comes, but I've accepted that I'm probably going to have to hide this part of my life and it will go from something I participate in to something I masturbate to and never talk about.

[TwinTonyz]

I'm intentionally withholding affection and neglecting her. I'm much more intimate and passionate than I let on, but believe I have to stifle it so that my relationships last. My exes pointed to that as being clingy and desperate behavior. I doubt she's picked up on that I'm not really busy or that I'm suppressing my emotions, but I worry that she could. I'd cracked the seal a bit to see how she'd react and she was clearly withdraw and bored of me. Since walking that back everything is normal again.

I hate that this is what's necessary for me to have any relationships.

[Emilyis]

My first year in college I was 17 and My roommate and I had a sexual experience that lasted all year. We didn't love one another, We just wanted to learn our body's. We are best friends today. I never told my husband and have no plans to tell him but If he ever finds out and ask me about it, I will tell him. But it was before We really started dating and 3 years before we were married. What I learned from that experience helped me teach my husband want I wanted on our honeymoon. We both were virgins on our wedding night so It helped a lot! I am not Bi or les but I will never regret having that little affair with her.

[Rhizomorph]

That I was using meth the entire time we were together. I know he never knew but his older brother def. had a hunch and would jokingly mention it sometimes.. like after we’d take dabs together bc sometimes my coughs sounded… really really bad lol
(his older brother had a phase w/ it when he was younger so if there was anyone who made me feel like they knew, it was him lmao)
But: I fear that any new potential partner would maybe eventually notice that something is off about me at times although I’m realizing that there’s no way I can expect a healthy relationship w/ anyone while I have this issue.

[Anonymous]

For my potential partner !
That I’m a virgin at 30.. never was interested to date in my 20s. No reasons just cuz
I’m a 🍓cheesecake though soft and cutie with dimples and big eyes ~ when a random guy hear me talk they right away say wow such a beautiful voice ~ and yeah some find it shocking that don’t look 30 but rather 20.. BUT still somehow I couldn’t open my legs easily ~ yes I know the potential partner might not beleive it but who cares I didn’t do it for him , I had my own reasons. I live for my pleasures not yours. So if they do not like that fact they are free to fuck off then.

[laurieluvsit]

No, I'm an open book, but it's not like I'm going to come out with all this stuff all at once.

Like a little at a time and see what kind of reaction you get.

If their mouth drops to close to the floor, you know you may have a problem... lol

[KoolKita]

Personally, I think it's important that when you are in a very serious relationship you shouldn't keep any big secrets. If you are planning to spend the rest of your life with a person, you should both be able to understand the other person's secrets and insecurities.

[Daniela1982]

Someone said I snore but I don't think I do. I just dream I'm being motorboated is all.

[Msputiton]

Lmao

[CrazyGirl2]

No, I have no secrets that I'm afraid my future husband would ever find out! I suppose if you live your life like your future spouse is always watching, you may just think twice before doing that thing that you would be terrified your future spouse might find out about it

[ticklelover2045]

Honestly... that I have a strong desire to tickle my partner and her friends and have her and her friends tie me down nude tickle me silly and then drive me wild "teasing" me until i beg them to "finish me off"... I think I would DIE happy if my partner found that out and did it... but wouldn't that be cheating on my partner tho?

[Bob92220]

My last girlfriend was extremely jealous so I wasn't forthcoming in my activities because she misconstrues the behavior as if I'm cheating on her.

For example, one day she caught me on this site responding to questions under, "Girls Behavior" and "Dating." She thought I was cheating on her. Boy, did I get screamed at! So I had "secrets" I kept from her because I didn't want to get yelled at.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I tried to share everything I could recall, so can't say there is any secrets I can think of. Makes it easier to be open and honest in my opinion. This way there is never any unexpected oh crap moments later on.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Secrets? Nothing I'm afraid of her finding out about... except for my stash of money. She's a retard with money so yeah, I fucking save and keep that savings hidden from her knowledge. She finds out about that and I'll get shit tests about what I buy, and I've been hounded for money for no reason before by her when she knows I have money.

[Mess96]

You shouldn’t be with someone like that. That’s bad. She likes to take advantage and use you for what you have

[roxbby]

@Mess96 Seriously... kind of concerning...

[Mess96]

Yeah, it sucks how some people do that to others

[Anonymous]

Mmh... not really. I hope she doesn't discover that I have a thing for women's dirty buttholes (at least for a little while), but that's not really something I'm ashamed of. It's more just that putting that kind of thing into words makes people want to ask questions and that makes it weirder than my "fetish" actually is. I'm not a coprophiliac, I just find women's parts more intimate when they're unwashed, sweaty, and natural.

[Anonymous]

Afraid? No. It would actually be a relief. But the only reason I keep this secret is because I know how she'll react and what she'll say. Nothing bad, and she might already know but hasn't said anything, but until she does I'm not saying anything.

[AviatorTom]

If we're all being completely honest, each of us has at least one secret that we'd like others to not know.

I'll pass on giving the details here. Let me just say that it involves another woman.

[Charliefretz329]

I am a little worried the first time I share my cbt/ Penectomy fetish with a new girl… especially if it’s a girl I really like. You never know how they are gonna react to something so abnormal…

[Msputiton]

So tru

[Charliefretz329]

Lol definitely

[Orange85]

I lied to my partner about how many guys I had sex with in the past. Truth hurts and no one should ask that! Pretty sure he lied ab it too but just exaggerated not subtracted sooo lol 🤷‍♀️

[DrewJohnson]

It's sad that you felt like you had to lie about your past. It's also not cool to put you on the spot like that.

[Orange85]

I’ve never even thought to ask a guy that question 🤷‍♀️

[DrewJohnson]

Some people are weirdly hung up on body count...

[Orange85]

Yea I fig in my 30s we would all know we’ve slept with other people. And be secure in our sexuality by now

[DrewJohnson]

You'd think...

[hyperben]

She knows about my tiny dick (of course) but not about doing webcam work and selling pictures online for the guys who seem to enjoy small penises.

[ElementoP]

Whoa...

[hyperben]

@ElementoP I dont think she would be tooooo impressed if she found out eh?

[mstbooblover]

I don't want having to hide anything relevant for my partner. I'm not interested in a relation if my partner and I can't be open for each other.

[Càitjet]

Not so much secrets but more of the past, being broken, having a darker personality, it's things not everyone will understand or want to accept for/if there ever was a future relationship.

[Blackcosmo]

There are some things but I can't think of them at the moment for some reason.

[Agape93]

Nope. Any secrets I have, die with me. They're not anywhere else outside the source.

[melanieeeB]

No, like I do have a bigger secret that I don't tell people but I'm not afraid of a partner finding it out tho

[NathanDavis]

nope... I have nothing to hide like that, however, I would make sure to open up gradually... and not all at once, lmao

[pizzalovershouse]

That older females use to do light bondage to me an right words on me

[pizzalovershouse]

That I was seeing

[Msputiton]

Words? Like what?

[pizzalovershouse]

I'm going to use your butt as my personal dildo port

[Msputiton]

Oh.. ok

[pizzalovershouse]

Some kinky people

[humanearth]

I used to be ashamed of my Crossdressing and hide it from everyone. Today I could careless who knows

[SueShe]

Could care less or could NOT care less?

[worldscolide]

No, I don't function on dishonesty, there is literally nothing that my wife does not know about me. Being honest is easier than managing lies.

[Th3ft]

None. If we are to be together then I will tell her anything she wants to know or needs to know.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Yes, I'd assume everyone has one that they'd take with them.

[Boldy_Erin]

I flirted my way out of a speeding ticket by pretending not to be married

I slept with my boss at work a few years ago

[dustybiker]

Nope. Brutally honest. They have my back they can’t do that without truth and facts.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have any secret myself but have secrets around me. They wouldn’t be given the chance to get to know me if they hadn’t been briefed and recruited

[ElementoP]

I'm a foreign dictator and I've killed millions of my own people

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nope. The whole point of an SO is someone you relate to, so any secrets would be something they wouldn't mind.

[hahahmm]

Eh... in my experience men & women are very different. A woman sees your secrets as ammunition to be stored up for later use. One hint of this is when a woman keeps probing you for deep secrets but the stuff she gives you are shallow secrets not worth as much. Beware. Somethings nobody needs to know.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@hahahmm Your premise is off, people are individuals, male and female mindsets aren't real, and only an idiot dates someone who isn't their mental clone.

[hahahmm]

Or you're just not as experienced as you think you are.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@hahahmm or your experience is just as limited and you are trying to defend a stereotype pointlessly.

With my hobbies, the only women I'd meet are relatable ones, and if they didn't exist, I'd not be meeting them.

[hahahmm]

Dude, I once thought like you & thought I knew better than the stereotypes. Just remember this conversation when you run into something you didn't expect. Ha ha ha.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@hahahmm If its something I didn't expect, then its not the norm. Either way I don't date unless I've known her for years. And if I've known her that long, she already knows whatever there is to know, since thats required to know if we are a match, plus I don't have any secrets I'm ashamed of, and my friends are all oversharers, so there isn't any ammo to begin with.

[Kabluie]

I don't have many secrets, it's like everyone knows something.

[Blackcupcake]

I do have “secrets” yes, but nothing I wouldn’t share with a SO

[convo_king89]

We all have baggage. Sexual secrets are the most intimidating things to say since it’s such a taboo topic in general.

[Ghostluck]

I'm afraid that whoever I end up with will discover that I am a Lesbian trapped inside of a man's body.

[Bob92220]

Have you ever considered having sex with as many women as possible, at least over 100 different women, and even paying them, and then you will realize not having a woman's body doesn't suck as you might think?

[Ghostluck]

@Bob92220 Hahaha, yeah, but then I would for sure catch something that Ajax can't get off, lol.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a partner. If I had one, I would tell her some stuff that hurt me the most in my previous experiences. But maybe not the most hurtful experience.

[goodgirlsteven]

If your my partner you know everything about me! I open up completely (literally LOL!)

you know every thing.

[Zolly99999]

No.. I don't keep secrets to potential partners.. obviously I don't tell everything on the internet

[shark58]

No I dont have any secrets, my partner knows everything, she likes that, the most unusual thing is that at home I am wearing shorts and pantyhose, which I love to do.

[altaboy]

Yes, there are things that are better left in the past.

[VistasV2]

Yes but I don’t have a partner atm so I’m ok.

[TallAnon]

I may have flirted with a few too many people, but eh, not that big of a deal.

[SmokinAces2000]

No my girlfriend and I are completely honest about everything

[Anonymous]

I was very very promiscuous and am not actually a virgin. That I gave up two kids for adoption and don’t know who the fathers are.

[EaterPeter]

I do. Probably 2 or more things. Preferences likes and dislikes.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[Anonymous]

I do and I hate them about myself, but I need therapy before I can get rid of the secrets

[Valso]

That I'm bisexual. I don't have a problem sharing that to outlanders. But sharing it to someone from my country - no, thanks!

[Hotboy_booblover]

Yes that i had let a guy suck my dick. bcoz he looked like a girl

[Waldoe]

In the 70's I was a male stripper... shhhh No one cares now...

[SaoirseS]

Yes, like where a few bodies are buried.

[Puppystarfish23]

But I post on here

[Rayang]

Yes that I have a small dick

[Msputiton]

Not a big deal

[hyperben]

they can't be too close yet if they aren't aware?

[exitseven]

No, i have a pretty boring life.

[InnocentFreak]

Yes. That i have quiet BPD.

[Anonymous]

That I lied about my brother raping me

[Losalt]

Did you say that he did or that he didn't?

[Opinion Owner]

@Losalt that he did

[JenniferBiArizona]

Not really. I am blunt and very open.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, I have a few. But doesn't everyone?

[Jerre]

No, none at all

[Jerre]

@msputiton Thank you for the Like