Girls, Anxious about new girlfriend and not sure how to approach these fears. Am I seeing her/talking to her enough, or is some of this in my head?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this girl for approximately two months now and dating exclusively for a week. It started off a bit rocky because it wasn’t clear at first what she was looking for relationship-wise and I think we were both a bit awkward about things, but even now I’m anxious about speaking to her and am afraid of pushing her away or losing her. We only see each other once every week and a half or so in person because she’s a busy med student who lives in the suburbs (I’m in city), and though we text/snap everyday they’re not the most involved conversations because she’s not a huge texter and is often delayed in responding because of coursework anyway. I know she prefers in person conversation, but with how relatively infrequently we see each other I want to make the most use of the options open to us and keep the conversation going via text/phone/whatever, but I’m both afraid of bothering her and ever afraid of what happens to us if we don’t converse as openly and regularly as I’d like. It seems to work for her so far, I guess, but I’m in knots about it.

[PrettyPriya]

I would not worry about it. There are some things you have to remember. One, she is a student. A med student at that. She is likely OFTEN busy just from that alone. I was never in med school, but my dad is a doctor and my sister starts med school. Just even preparing for it is a stressful.

Then, it also has a lot to do with the individual. Some people are just not big texters or social media users. I find it more true with guys on average, but there are girls like that too. Getting my fiancé to text me is like pulling teeth sometimes.

I seriously wouldn't be so anxious or nervous. I would just go with the flow of the conversation and frequency that she texts. Look for patterns as to when she seems to have the most free time.

Allow her to kind of guide the conversations at her leisure. That will not push her and she can respond when she has time. Most important, don't think just because she hasn't responded in a while there is something wrong. She could just be really busy.

[Asker]

Logically I remember these points, and it helps, but there’s always some underlying fear that with this infrequency she’ll lose interest, or we won’t be able to open up as easily to each other. But I agree and appreciate your point about going with the flow…it’s just learning to trust the process on my part more than anything.

[PrettyPriya]

Another little thing you can do... since you meet once a week or so, plan something out special. Something that gets her excited. That gives you both something to look forward to and chat about.

Remember that special does not have to equal expensive.

[Anonymous]

Give up the texts and connect in the real world, and that would help a lot.