Is it bad if he lets everyone know that I'm his girlfriend?

[Melinara]

I've been in a relationship with a guy for two months. We get along pretty well but our personalities are different. I'm kinda introverted so I believe that we have to keep our relationship secret cause it's a very personal information no one should care about. Nevertheless, he's a very extroverted person who doesn't hesitate to flirt with me in front of others or in group chats. I've told him I feel kinda uncomfortable cause many girls will get jealous and try to separate us, but he says that none of them will get our inside jokes and they won't understand we are in a relationship...

In fact, it's evident we're a couple and some of our friends have already noticed. He feels proud of me and that's why he behaves in that way but I'm trying my best to protect my relationship 🤷‍♀️

[Claraaa]

From the comments that I read, it seems like your discomfort stems from the fact that he put you on the spot on the first day. The only thing you can do with him is simply talk openly: don't just tell hm you're uncomfortable rn, tell him you were from the 1st day and also explain why. Try to compromise: you have a right for some privacy, like not wanting people to know everything about your relationship such as inside jokes, and refusing to expose your intimacy by positing pics of you without your consent or flirting publicly; but also, recognize the fact that he is also allowed to be outgoing, to feel proud to tell everyone he's in a relationship with you, adn as long as he respects your needs, respect his too.

If you guys are not able to find a common ground then let me tell you this is not gonna go well. If you're in a romantic relationship with him you need to be able to express your needs and have them met (and reciprocally), otherwise you're going to make each other really sad

[Melinara]

I think the most fascinating part of our relationship is the fact that we're different from each other. We both find our differences a positive challenge and not an obstacle. Let me share that our experiences are very different. I was raised in a big city while he comes from the countryside. I know that in the countryside people are more easygoing and sociable, so maybe his behavior is a reflection of the norms in rural regions.

[Emiliamazing]

It would seem you need to have a conversation with him about why this is uncomfortable for you. I’ve seen the complete opposite question/concern on this platform in the past, where an individual is sad because their significant other does not show outward affection or make any reasonable effort to show that two individuals are in a relationship. The only way you can defend your relationship and keep him from possibly being smitten/taken with another individual is by displaying your relationship in public

Need to take him off the sale floor so to speak.

[Melinara]

First of all, thanks for answering my question.
So, do you believe that it is a good thing to show that we're a couple? Will this intimidate other girls and prevent them from flirting with my boyfriend?
I was afraid people would think I'm easy and some girls who already don't get along with me would drop hints to make me feel bad and embarrassed...

[Emiliamazing]

It’s always good to show that you have found someone you want to be in a relationship with to the world. This should be a source of pride. It’s not about keeping other girls away but rather celebrating the fact you have met someone that makes you happy and being that example to others.

[Melinara]

You're definitely right, I'll take that into account 👍

[Avicenna]

I'm not sure why you want to keep the relationship a secret because that sort of thing usually can' be kept a secret, but it seems to me that you create stress that isn't there when you try to do that.

[Melinara]

I've already told my close relatives and very good friends I'm in a relationship with that guy cause yep it can't be kept a secret forever but my prob was that he told everyone he dates with me since our very first date and he did that without my permission...

[Guy13]

No it is good as he is owning the relationship and his connection to you. How can that be bad?

[Melinara]

Okay maybe I was negatively predisposed to that cause he wanted to let everyone know about it since our 1st date. That day he posted a photo from the place we visited, he tagged me and wrote in the caption that he was having a great time with me. He did that without my permission and now he has ended up telling me inside jokes in front of others. But maybe it's because he wants to prevent others from flirting with me...
Thank you for your answer :)

[Guy13]

Oh i see... he violated your trust with some poor judgment in the beginning. Yep, that would make me hesitant too. He seems like a stand-up guy. Not to many these days will commit and accept responsibility for another in relationship. "Keep your eye on him".. sometimes complacency can set in. Good luck in it !!!

[Melinara]

Yes now you get what I mean...
He's a very assertive guy, he has always been like that with me since the very beginning. Maybe it's because he has a lot of feelings for me and he's unable to hide them but this sometimes makes me feel embarrassed in public.

[Guy13]

I am exactly like you i think... a little on the conservative and reserved side. Judgment is so important and in the little things. How one handles the little thing will be how they handle the bigger things. He seem well intended though :-)

[Melinara]

Exactly, I totally agree with you... I also think he's well intended cause he's not jealous or something and he always leaves me space. Maybe he behaves like that because he can't control his excitement when he interacts with me...

[PrettyPriya]

While I understand you are introverted, why do you feel it necessary to hide or keep your relationship a secret. That isn't a very personal matter to me. What happens if he ends up being "the one" and you decide to get married? Arguably, that is even more personal (marriage). Are you going to keep your marriage a secret too?

I think you need to embrace the fact that he is happy to call you his girlfriend and wants others to know that you are. It shows he is proud to call you that in front of others.

Best advice is to sit down and really think why that is such a big deal to let others know the two of you are dating. It really shouldn't be. That is not some deep, dark secret that needs to be protected.

You should celebrate the fact the two of you are together and happy. Others, like friends and family, will be happy for you and want to see your relationship grow. Best of luck to you.

[Melinara]

Thank you so much for your reply, in fact I'm so happy I'm in this relationship and my relatives approve my boyfriend so it's okay!

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome and that is great! I'm glad they approve and you are so happy. It is always nice to hear something like that when so many struggle to find that perfect someone for themselves.

Very happy for you and you two enjoy each other! Who knows? Maybe he is the one! 🙂

[Melinara]

Hahaha we're only 17 y. o. but we'll be attending the same uni (with 6 years of studies) so it's up to us to decide 😅

[PrettyPriya]

Oh, I get that you are young. You never know though. Enjoy this time you have together, especially attending the same university. That should be loads of fun.

[FilmGuy93]

It's not bad, but if it makes you uncomfortable, he should respect that fact.

[Jamie05rhs]

You'd be more likely to lose him if it's unofficial than if it's official.

[In_Trance]

why would this be bad?