It’s something I think happens to most couples at one point in their relationship were the intimacy and passion dries up or fades away. Usually it comes back between them if they try hard hard enough.
What if it truly isn’t there anymore but the loyalty and appreciation for each other is still there but the fire is incapable of sparking again. Is it still a relationship or is it two people clinging to something that’s already dead?
Yeah
Nope
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Can a relationship continue to thrive without intimacy?
Considering how many of life's curveballs can come at you, sometimes there are higher priorities than physical connection and intimate gratification.
Things like kids, depression, disabilities, post birth, adjusting to a new house/job, temporary impairments, intensive caregiving etc. They suck up time, energy, and an ability to think outside oneself.
In these instances, traits like loyalty, fidelity, honor, and sometimes downright obedience are really the things that keep a relationship intact over the years. This person doesn't blow up a relationship because it's not serving them, but in fact, handles the ship until the ailment passes.
I mean, it is certainly possible for a non-sexual intimate relationship to be healthy, happy, and fulfilled. If both partners are asexual or don't really care for sex, emotional and romantic companionship are still things they can provide and need.
But it sounds like your scenario is that the couple used to be sexually active and have lost that urge with each other.
That usually spells the end, unless they figure out what's going on.
Yes … it’s not always about sex but the companionship and the love if it’s still there. We all get wrinkly and grey one day and we need that one special person to be there before we fade into the wind …
Only if both partners agree , but If it’s a one sided relationship, meaning , it’s ok for 1 partner to initiate sex but not the other then that marriage or relationship will fall apart , Both partners should put in the same effort for each other and take one for the team whether they are in the mood or not So many marriages end because selfishness sets in , If you keep denying your partner sex and affection when they are trying to initiate it making constant excuses as to why you don’t want it , but only give it when it’s convenient for you , then that’s considered a one sided relationship , when you constantly deny your partner sex it makes your partner feel like you don’t value them that you just like the convenience of them , Most women don’t understand how important sex is to their men , If he is initiating sex and she constantly denies him and makes nasty remarks that all he thinks about is his dick , she is pushing him away., pushing him to the point he will more than likely be more open to meeting someone else or having sex with someone else with someone that makes him feel wanted , Part of the reason so many affairs occur , This goes for women as well when their men constantly deny them sex , If your partner can’t wear your shoes like you wear theirs then that relationship will fall apart. Most people that deny their partner sex are usually interested in someone else or fucking someone else , don’t fall for their nonsense , I was in a relationship like this before with a girl that made me feel horrible for trying to make love to her , always said mean things to me if I was in the mood and she wasn’t , made me feel like I was this bad guy because I wanted to have sex with her , When sex never been an issue with us before , she constantly made excuses as to why she didn’t want sex , I would just accept the fact that she wasn’t in the mood even though I was hurt and angry I would just go to sleep , it slowly built up inside that I was in a one sided relationship , to find out she was secretly screwing her co worker , So now if a girl constantly denies me sex without valid excuses I tell her to not let the door hit her in the ass on the way out , don’t tolerate that shit , you deserve someone that puts in the same effort as you do
Relationships are hard. Both partners need to actively work on it, and continuously make efforts.
My personal opinion, a healthy relationship requires that fire, spark. Otherwise your relationship becomes somewhat platonic. It's like living with your best friend. You have the loyalty, trust and companionship without the attraction and chemistry.
You can 100% be intimate in other ways, I'm not just referring to sex but if you don't have that spark, is it really going to be intimacy, or is it just affection?
I would say it has become a death sentence for relationships because when the intimacy vanishes, so does the emotional level of the relationship. You are no longer really there, you are more just people who fucked at one point and now living together due to circumstances.
A lot of people struggle wanting to put in the work to maintain the relationship and it has become more of a chore. Whereas care and continuous dating was a thing leading to the intimacy, it is now gone.
I think some people are unrealistic about the role of sex as relationships evolve.
Sex is never going to be as exciting after 10 years as it was after six months - that's just reality. Unless a couple undergoes a Damascene conversion and suddenly discovers BDSM or whatever...
A relationship gradually evolves away from the sexual toward the emotional, the intellectual and the spiritual. How that evolution occurs and over what time period changes from relationship to relationship.
But no relationship will truly last if you think that sex at 60 has to be as exciting as sex at 25 or else...
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Yep, it can. Especially if you have joint commitments such as children.
Intimacy isn't just the sex though it's your personal space, touching, hugs, emotional closeness, and feeling of safety, loyalty and trust.
If all that goes, maybe you find yourself wondering how they are different to a house mate. And maybe the relationship should be renegotiated asking those lines.
It is still a relationship of sorts but only you can say if it's one that you're interested in pursuing.
Sex frequently isn’t something that is the most important to me. Yes I do think it is important but being able to talk, laugh, cuddle, be silly, joke around is way more important. Having a genuine connection with their personality or soul is so much more. You can have sex with anyone but you can’t just connect with anyone.
This is so true. I remember the first girl I like. There was sexual acivity but one day she said she like and not love me. A person can still masturbate if there's no sex so I never really bothered about the sexual part of the relationship. I've been with a girl before that I missed so much and we never got sexually involved.
Cause I am a victim of having my supposed ride or die chick all of a sudden have her demeanor towards me change... While living with me... One day it was as normal then i came home from work to why are you so happy? Me: what? Really? Her: your always smiling. Me: if you had a clue you would realize why... Her: well can you not face me when you sleep? Me: huh? What? After that 2yrs later and all of them effort i put forth just amounted to nothing... After 15 years i ended it last Sunday... Haven't heard from her... Pointless ~
the only thing that separates your marriage and your friendships is sex. You have sex with your partner, you don't have sex with your friends. Now their is always 1 person that says i bang my friends just to fuck shit up, so let me say this most people don't fuck their friends. so if sex is something that separates the different types of relationships when it no longer exist in a relationship then naturally the relationship changes.
No it can not. I don't mean sex. If you are not close to the person you are with... That means the relationship is going backward and it will die out. You can stay together but it won't be thriving. That's how all of life works. Everything. You either are moving ahead or you are going backward. Nothing stays the same.
a healthy sex life is often what keeps a relationship together long term by acting like the glue the holds things during good and bad times. so unless the couple came to a mutual understanding as to why they no longer seek intimacy from each other their relationship is likely to fall apart over time.
This is why I think it's so important for 2 people whether they've been together for a yr. Or 50 years. To have "date nights". 2 people who don't stay connected will eventually grow apart.
It can but it makes everything that little bit harder. I haven’t slept with any of my ex boyfriends and there was a relationship minus the intimacy part. So the feelings were there but at times things got difficult.
No. Of course sex isn’t the only thing that matters in a relationship but it definitely is a huge part of it. If all you can have is a friendly connection with your partner you might as well just be friends
Sex and intimacy are not synonymous, that is something that a lot of people will fail to recognize. If you are founding your relationship on sex they you are dooming it to eventually fail.
Anything is possible, if no scientific laws are broken. Many even reckon that the Mary, mother of Jesus of Nazareth and possibly of others, wife of Joseph, is still virgin! None of my relationships broke up due to the lack of intimacy.
Normally there is always something you like about a person that make you want to be with the person. If you are in it just because the sex feels good to me that's not really intimacy.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
My companion has for years thinks it can happen without intimacy. I try to touch her, she refuses to reciprocate except for maybe a kiss. Then her comment is I don't have time right now. We're not abusive to each other.
If you weren't interested in having sex with your significant other, but he was ideal in every other way, would you consider having a casual relationship with another guy that provided you with the intimacy that was lacking in your main relationship? I mean, assuming your primary partner was fine with it?
If he is okay with it, maybe it can be considered, but speaking for myself, I cannot say that I would be comfortable with such a thing. If I don't feel that kind of attraction to the person I'm with, what's the point of continuing?
It's more a case of your feelings for him being affectionate and loving, and that you enjoy cuddling with him and sleeping next to him every night. A girlfriend of mine once told me that a woman can rarely get everything she needs from one guy, which is why women are so reluctant to make a long term commitment to a guy, because they know that st some point, they'll have to go elsewhere to meet their other needs.
I've never been in a long-term committted relationship, maybe I can't empathize fully, but I assume that sexual attraction is inevitable with someone you really connect with emotionally
But that's the beauty of an arrangement like this -- you share a deep emotional bond with two men, in completely different ways, but each is amazingly beautiful in its own, unique style, and conversely, each is strengthened by the other.
@242plusInfinity no sex, he is always is no mood for sex not very affectionate (but its more his personality i guess not just with me, bust still weird to me) i noticed he sometimes caresses me the same way i caress him, like copying me... like if he doesn't know how to do it right so he just does what i do to him Said he is ok with how our relationship goes, doesn't want serious stuff (he means marriage)... but at the same time he says im the only woman in his life and tbere is nothing he doesn't like about me and like 3 closesest people to him his mom (she died mast year) his 21 daughter from his ex , and me So he puts me in the same mine as daughter nad his mom (rip) Yeah... not simple case, mi e is very very twisted
@242plusInfinity in my opinion it could get better, much better But my boyfriend is happy how we are now As for me We lack more time together, like couple time We work together But its not the same Now he went on holidays and he doesn't even make plans with me He wants to go travle with his friends
@242plusInfinity when he meets his friends none of them bringe their women I respect that I dont wanna suffocate him I want him have his time with his mates But also when with me i want him be loving and caring and sexy and affectionate with me
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