My neighbor is cheating on his wife. I want to tell her but my boyfriend disagrees. What do you think?

[Gloree]

My neighbor just moved out with his wife and kids to another house but still comes to this other house as he claims he wants to use it for business.

But now I see him constantly with another girl and now that his family is at another house I know he is cheating easily. It's not fair on his current pregnant wife. I saw him and the other girl today again in his car.

I want to call his wife but my boyfriend is forbidding me, telling me it is none of my business and I don't have evidence and I should stop being nosy.

What do you think about his opinion? Is he right? He said if he finds out I told, he will be very angry with me.

Updates

1 y

Thank you all for your opinion. I didn't say anything. I minded my business. Turns out that she knows already as I heard from another neighbor who is closer to her. She told the lady that her husband cheats but that she has learned to disregard it as long as he provides for her and the kids. She has made her peace with that.

[DaveJord]

I agree with your boyfriend stay out of it. He is 100% CORRECT!!!

You never know the situation they are in, and if they have kids you have to think what's best for them. I for one felt like my wife was cheating on me for years, but honestly I didn't really want to know. Because I was not in a place in my life where I could do anything about it if she was. But once my kids were grown and out of the house and finically I had myself in a good place I divorced her. Yes she was cheating, and I am glad nobody told me because if they had, I would of been forced to do what I was, already going to do, before I was ready to do it. Because in most states with "No Fault" divorce laws the fact that she/he was cheating has no relavance. So unless you live in a state with "At Fault" divorce laws and you want to do this women a favor you need 100% undisputable prove. If you don't have that then shut your mouth.

At the end of the day if his wife was so amazing, he may not feel the need to cheat. I wanted to cheat on my wife, but I never did because of noisy people like you that would not mind their business. I don't blame you, you have no idea that I was in an extremely toxic and unfulfilling relationship with a women that treated me like shit. Of course you would never of known that from the outside looking in, because I was ashamed of it and on some level I blamed myself. But ultimately it wasn't all about me, what about my kids? If I knew she was cheating beyond a fact I would of had to divorce her, and where would that leave my kids?

Lastly, some women with husbands that cheat know it like I knew it. But they don't want others to point it out they go into denial and get super defensive about it. I assure you that if he is cheating, then on some level she probably knows and doesn't want to know, or doesn't or won't appreciate you calling it out. I know you're a women that would want to know, but don't pretend you speak for all women, especially if you have never been in her situation and you a have no clue what her life or his life is like.

But unless you have seen him with his penis, in the other women's vagina you have no prove, and its none of your business so don't try to be some "Karen" with good intentions butting into their lives dropping some type of bomb on their lives... do not be the the person that pulls the pin on a hand grenade, tosses into a room, and then closes the door... and then acts like you did nothing wrong or that you had no idea of what the impacts could of been.

Most people are not willing to accept or want to know, until they are in a place that they are ready to accept the truth and are ready to act on it.

[Charlesbrandonf]

With all the respect, I’d say you’re 35 get yourself a husband and work on your life than working on someone’s life and someone’s else house someone else relationships. When people reach out to you or when you figured out there is some problem. Then try to help, if you think you’re nice and kind. If you’re investing your time/emotions for what’s going on in someone’s house, you’re not going to get an Award of the year or you don’t get another extra days to live. Your business is your business. Or I don’t know if she is getting another man’s and you’re not.


I simply mean you have so many things to care about yourself in this time and with this energy.


Remember this if you become a solution people will keep you around then if you become yourself a problem everyone knows where to put you.


Which is why your boyfriend suggested you to be quite for now. If you become a problem to him or to the situation. You’ll fool yourself and disappoint the people that helped you think for your good. If you think you telling this pregnant woman would help do you want you want to do.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Have you seen the husband actually doing things like kissing or fondling the woman?

If they're listing the house or renting it, it's not unheard of for the realtor or property manager to come by with the owner to review the property.

If you see the wife, you can mention the woman inconspicuously like "how's the house sale going? I thought I saw your hubby here with your lady realtor the other day".

If the wife has suspicions, it'll give her what she needs. If the lady is a realtor or unrelated, it's still all good.

[MzAsh]

First I’d tell your boy that he cannot and will not “forbid” you to do anything. However, if you’re going to get involved then it would be wise to have some kind of evidence. In your case, that would be easy. Snap a few photos, discreetly, of the guy with his side chick. Date them, and send them anonymously.

[JDavid25]

I don't think she said anything about "forbid".. She just said he disagrees..

[JDavid25]

Sorry Madam, disregard you previous comment I forgot to read the details..

[JDavid25]

My**..

[Apple1996]

Maybe find a low key way to do it like ask her to hang out then accidentally catch him with the other girl. It's better then just telling her. Or if you do tell her just ask something like is his sister visiting cuz I've seen him in a car with a girl. Just don't come out and say he's cheating cuz you never know the situation

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you have concrete proof he's cheating and she's a close personal friend not just a neighbor, then tell her..

But if it's just something you just suspect is going on, just stay out of it.

[Pinay_ako]

I know you care and mean well but you should listen to your boyfriend… You truly don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors 🚪. You might get yourself entangled in an unnecessary drama…

[Inbox]

@Pinay_ako Yeah, unless it's a friend or family member, I'd stay out of it. If it's a crack house or some kind of illegal activity then I'd do what I can but meh

[Pinay_ako]

@Inbox nope.

[Inbox]

@Pinay_ako That was a good film tho LOL

[Pinay_ako]

@Inbox 🤣 oh the Jordan Peele movie? Is it? I’m curious now!

[Inbox]

@Pinay_ako Yeah, it was an innovative idea about what a UFO could be and it was very well directed as would be expected from a Jordan Peele film. Most UFO alien films are nothing but pop up scary trashy films nowadays, but this one isn't scary, but rather mystery and intrigue.

[Pinay_ako]

@Inbox I like Jordan Peele’s work. He’s avant-garde! 👏

[Paris13]

Stay Out Of It. You will Be Sorry YOU got Involved. xxoo

[coachTanthony]

Never works out like you want it too. She may already know and is making plans. Leave it be.

[ShadezMcgee]

What evidence do you have? All you know is he has seen this woman frequently. How do you know it isn't a good friend of his or a family member?

To go alongside that, how close are you two to this guy's family? How well do you know them? I get the idea of being transparent with the guy's wife, but you are about to go in with no plan or solid proof. If you are wrong, you just fucked everything up for their family and your relationship with them and now look like a jackass. If you are right, you at least gave her the truth.

What does this picture have to do with your question? Seems very out of place.

[lightbulb27]

you are making an assumption which you know what that can lead to.

depends on your relationship with her. If you know her you could talk indirectly (girls love doing this), ask her how things are going, you heard the husband was running abusiness and his new sales associate was really attractive, or something like that. you just never mention cheating, but allude to what you saw and she puts the pieces together.

or you stay out of her life. if you love drama, then you'll get your fill.

to be fair, you don't know if she is cheating or what the causes of this mess were. you don't know people til you date/marry them, you don't know either person.

[Avicenna]

Since you don't know them well enough to fully under the circumstances and to be able to patch up any problems that might arise from doing what you're thinking of doing. I would advise you not to tell the wife. It may well be that the husband is cheating, and that's awful if he is, but you don't want to create any drama for yourself. In a worst-case scenario, if you're mistaken, there might even be legal implications for you.

Furthermore, informing her anonymously may even be a worse idea. It's not like the husband wouldn't suspect neighbors anyway, and it makes you look deceptive or less than honest, which is not good in a situation where your involvement is predicated upon your perception that the husband is being dishonest.

The calculus would be different if these were close friends or relatives, but they're not.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

1. You want to tell a pregnant lady that her husband is cheating
It will damage her emotional well being you don't wanna do that now at this time when she is having a good experience and it won't be good for the unborn either mental peace is must.

2. You have suspicion but not proof so you would be planting doubts in a mind of pregnant women who is already in roller coaster ride of harmones.

3. The pregnant lady could get mad at you and could say you are lying and cut you off.

4. It's good that you are concerned about your neighbour but you would be risking a lot just based on suspicion and not facts.

5. As of now it feels unnecessary to get grudges from the husband and the pregnant lady.

6. Even if you collect proof and give it to pregnant lady what she can do in this condition she will be under more stress.

7. In the current circumstances better to drop it.

[likelyOK]

On the other hand if he gives her a disease it could endanger the baby’s health

[Aakash_Hangargi]

The guy whose cheating if to be cheating bc his wife is pregnant would hardly have sex with his wife

[likelyOK]

Even if u do it once u transmit a disease

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Itz unlikely , if he was so interested in his wife he would have sex with her while she is being pregnant , why would he need to cheat? Doesn't make much sense

[ConspiracyTheorist]

I think everybody should get to know if they are being cheated on because I know it fucking sucks bad especially when the person you loved more then anything in this world cheats on you, but I'm also a firm believer in people should mind their own business so that is a tough one. If you are any type of friend or maybe even just a good neighbor maybe you should say something... or just put yourself in your neighbors shoes and think of how you might feel if your neighbor just come and told you that, go with your gut feeling.

[Screenwriter]

Unless you see the two of them naked in "flagrante delicto," he is absolutely correct. You have no concrete proof they are having an affair. And the bottom line is :

THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Why would you want to stir up more trouble for a couple who appear to be separated? Let them work out whatever it is they need to by themselves.

Even if this person was a very close friend, there is no friend who tells her other friend that her husband is fooling around who remains that person's friend. You're the bearer of bad news. Some people don't WANT to know. Some know already and look the other way.

There is NO WAY YOU CAN JUDGE THIS SITUATION FROM THE OUTSIDE.

Stop being nosy and keep decorous peace between yourself and your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

I personally would tell the wife. I've been cheated on several times (while pregnant or with a newborn) and it is literally the hardest thing to deal with. The amount of times I questioned my own worth is ridiculous. See, every time I found out, another woman was the one telling me. I am still very close to those women today because if it weren't for them, I would still be with the loser who made me look stupid so many times. It fucking hurt, for sure. But if she finds out now, she has a chance to recover and move on and find someone who treats her great; like I did.

[RavVid]

Difficult moral question and one in which you cannot do the right thing either way. It rarely applies in any other situation. eg if he was stealing there would be no moral ambiguity.

Your boyfriend is right in that you haven't seen them having sex and it could just be they are working on a business project at the ex home now office. Maybe unlikely but. I have also known for a pregnant woman to make arrangements for her husband.

Generally people don't get between couples as a golden rule.

[Vanidal]

I'll try to get evidence if they happen to pass. If I don't, I'll get on with my life. Evidence is crucial because it's also hard on the wife if she only receives, "Hey, I saw him with someone."


If that happens frequently, just record or something and send it to her. Tell that you send it because YOU are concerned of how frequent the event is. This is about you. And also tell her that you just passing an info. Maybe that girl is his sister or a family, or a step-sister. Who knows? If you're that concerned, just do send her the evidence. It's hers if things are actually problematic. It's your problem if you're concerned with the potential of such problem. Pick your side, don't be indecisive. In the end, it's about how things make you uncomfortable and how you respond to it.

[ohsheeT]

If his wife is pregnant you don't want to upsetting her you are 100% right she should know but why don't you do it a different way why don't when you see him pull up or something or you see the girl or you see them leaving why don't you walk up and say how come you didn't open the door for your wife she was peeking Through the Windows and everything else she was knocking or why don't you tell the girl that he's with that his old girlfriend has chlamydia and you saw her today looking for him she wanted to tell him something you got the wife hasn't done anything wrong that she's the one that's going to be punished if you were to tell it's the other two that need to be punished

[ohsheeT]

Hold it hold it hold it time out before I get carried away here I also forgot it's nobody's business it's between them I understand where you're coming from and you're a good person for that but let them find out on their own you open that door too everything else changes if you're going to do it going to do something do it smart do it crazy but don't tell on somebody especially if his wife is pregnant and I understand you're going to say this is wrong and whatever whatever and you're right but that's the way it is I mean that's my opinion about it anyway I would go about it a whole different way I would scare the death out of him to make him think that his wife knows to make him think that his kids know her that his parents came by they saw you with that girl it's just something to make him think that he just about got caught time to stop

[DubiousIntentions]

Unless you have ironclad proof I would remain silent, although it does seem kind of suspicious. However, it also could be just an employee or his sister for all you know. But you know what they say, "Better to remain silent than to let everyone know you are a snoop."

[Rania05]

Wait until she gives birth, you don't to be a culprit for miscarriage, right?

Take pictures and wait for a while, tell her when the estimated time most likely for women to suffer from desperation period due to pregnancy and giving birth pass by.

[Rania05]

Wow, this lady is rather impressive for this. Just hopes he would stop when the child is born, things like this can easily influence a child easily.

[BlackBeauty90]

I LOOOOVEEEE cowards who say "mind your own business". Such people are good for nothing as they're the sniveling spineless dogs, two-legged trash not worthy of being called human, that'd walk the other way if other was getting assaulted, attacked, etc.

Write an anonymous letter to the wife. And leave it be.

[Phoenix98]

Your boyfriend is right in this situation. It’d be different if she was a close friend or something but she’s more or less a stranger, you don’t know her so it’s not really your business to meddle in their affairs.

I mean would you want some nosy neighbor that you don’t know meddling and putting themselves into your personal and private business?

I understand how you feel I don’t like cheaters either but it’s not your place to say anything.

[dustybiker]

My neighbor sleeps with other men in their bed for 2-5 hours while her man works night shifts. Five different men in rotation. Quite the neighborhood gossip.