How do you feel about long distance relationships?

Question

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

It really depends honestly on a few factors...

1. What do you consider a long distance relationship?

2. How often do you really see each other "IN PERSON", not video chats?

3. Are they traveling to see you as much as you are going to see him?

As a standard rule for myself I never date a women who is more than 60 miles or 2 hour drive away from me, or does not have the freedom of movement in her life to come let me stay with her for a weekend or for her to come stay with me.

If its all just phone calls, text and video chats then I don't really believe in them on a truly intimate, committed or emotionally fulfilling level. Seriously, your just the modern day equivalent of being pen pals.

The thing about long distance relationships, is that they are safe, and they require a degree of imagination, and people tend to fall in love with the fantasy despite the reality. They are safe, because you get to do it more on your terms, because of the physical limitations of distance. They take imagination, because it allows you to really place yourself in a position that the person on the other side of the line is really the person of your hopes and dreams... and even if he/she is not its safe to least allow yourself the fantasy of believing in it. Most people figure what's the harm, this person on the other side of the country and it is fun, so why not have fun and enjoy it.

The problem is that it is fun and you can get some level of emotional fulfillment and enjoyment from it. The problem is that you can easily back slide into really believing in the fantasy. Bottom line is that it is not a real or tangible relationship, in the physical sense. Everything you know, or think you know, about the other person are all the things they want you to know or believe of them. Its like role playing your way through a real relationship, because you have no way of validating any of it. Which is part of the fun and allure of it all.

So I say go for it and have fun, but do not fool yourself into believing in the fantasy, and be cautious even if you are seeing each other one weekend a month... its easy to present yourself as the ideal man/women when you only have to pretend for one weekend at a time.

JustKindaConfused · Accepted Answer

Considering that im thinking of getting into one with a girl who is anywhere from an hour to 3 hours away, although i think it might be best to say 2 hours. I am only 15 so i would have to wait at least until this summer to when i'd be 16 to even have a chance of meeting up with her. I do think that i might be biased on this but i think they can work out as long as both sides are loyal to one another, and the connection is strong enough. It would be hard to pull off, but as long as you dont go too long without seeing each other, i dont think there would be a problem.

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

Depends. Long distance can be anything from the next town over, to across the country or overseas. I see no problem with a relationship with someone who is in the town over from yours, but I think a relationship with someone across the country or overseas is a waste of time unless you’re both financially well off and can visit each other frequently.

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

How do I feel. It worked for us and my sister.
it takes times live, money, patience, respect, good communications and more.
We dated 5-6 years. long distance. We are married now. We met here on GAG. It was a 9 hr. drive or 2 hrs. flight. My little sister dated overseas. They are also married and have a baby now.

Pinay_ako · Answer

I don’t mind it. As long as I know we’re working to meet in person and make our future real.

AmandaYVR · Answer

They're terribly hard and I advise against them. But occasionally they work out. Most will end.

tensai · Answer

As someone that was in one, it can be very fun but mostly emotionally and physically draining. My ex was always there before he gotten a job and we would communicate everyday. Then it began the constant “im busy” when most times he would have, it would make me feel so alone in the relationship. I would become stressed out or start the “how to break your own heart” hearing what i wanted to hear and then making scenarios in my head to go along with it. In my opinion, i liked it. But its not for everyone, and if you do it, make sure that person is really serious

acooke-13 · Answer

I honestly think they can work. Me and my boyfriend agreed to do long distance when I went to Australia, he planned a holiday to come visit me 4 months later and he cancelled his return flight and stayed with me here. It does work if you put the effort in and want that person. It is difficult though.

xJeremyx · Answer

It would be really hard for me, because physical touch is near the top of my love language list.

I like it when my partner is physically present.

Yes, there is video conferencing and whatnot, but nothing beats the feeling of being embraced by a partner on a regular basis.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

It generally doesn't work out and if you've been in a long-distance relationship for more than a year without seeing each other or never met in person than it's not a real relationship. You're talking to a ghost.

Paul09 · Answer

In my opinion, I have no clue how they make it work. What's the point? You rarely ever see each other. It's like your in love with words and not a person. You need the human touch in a relationship. I don't think if be able to do it, or make it work.

ZenJen444 · Answer

It depends:

1. Are any of you planning on moving?

2. Are any of you willing to travel to see one another

3. Will the person eventually get tired of traveling back and forth.

*Me personally the longest distance I would do is 2 hours away. Other than that, why be with someone miles and hours away when you can be with someone locally, spend time, and cuddle

purpledrops · Answer

I mean, it's partially the same as normal relationships despite the physical being of your partner. It does work, but it depends on whether both parties want it too, because just as all things in life, it's not easy. But it's not impossible.

Malakidd · Answer

Probably depends on the period of time they are seperated, how many times a month they see each other. Unless they buy a long distance sex toy for couple maybe that will be best. Imon this experience as of now. she's in Canada Im in Mexico: She gets here in November unless I get my passport before, soy i talked to her about trying out our sex toy. I will keep you posted.

Leera · Answer

I've been with my partner for 7 years, met him when I was only 14 soo he's my high school sweetheart ,, we are currently long distance, I think it can work for a year or more but if both of you don't commit or have trust in each other you should call it quits and not get hurt or hurt the other person.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

I won't be in one. Most of the time they don't work. It takes a LOT of work to keep the spark with LDRs, & many fizzle out because the intimacy isn't there.

Avatar74 · Answer

You would have to possess an exceptionally strong emotional bond with your partner to make it work.

Like others have said where's the intimacy going to come from you would never be able to meet each other.

LilyFlorisa · Answer

Not really good, want to hug sometime when needed, but can't. Want to be there beside him when he feels alone, but can't. Sometime feeling like "You're not belong to him" is influenced.

Dennisnky · Answer

If someone is amazing, it can be worth it, but there has to be some kind of tentative plan to eventually get to the same location.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If they work out I guess it's all got to do with the person you meet and what kind of person they are.

Adam1978 · Answer

It must be very temporary or not something I would ever consider.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I’ve had some good and some bad but I have no intentions of going there again

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

Depends how much you want it tbh. It’s expensive but worth it with the right person.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope, never works.

Unless you do it with fixed date in mind, like when you move to, new town and your other half follows you in few years as s/he has to stay in old town for some reason, but you see each other IRL often, like visiting each other minimum few times per month. And moving back together in new town in few years...

Vanidal · Answer

Keep yourself busy. It's my friend and his fiance's story. As long as you keep yourself busy for meaningful things, you won't be bothered with cheap thrills.

Dranana · Answer

Just do what you can do. If you know you can date long distance, just do it. If you know your heart can't take it, don't go for it. That's all

In_Trance · Answer

waste of time

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I feel... utterly negative. Why would I call a pen pal a ''relationship'' ?

vpogson · Answer

I have been in a long-distance relationship for around 7 years and it works OK. Not ideal, of course, and we hope it will soon change. I reckon both parties need to be happy with their own company and quite self-sufficient.

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

They’re not super easy but if both of you are committed to it then it works

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Not my preference, but relationships happen with who and when they happen.

Anonymous · Answer

I have had a few and they didn't work out. My fault, I guess. It is good though for some who make a bigger effort.

Fireguy17 · Answer

they can work, but it takes a lot of work and planning.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Unless you have spent a considerable time together, there's no such thing as an LDR. You might be penpals.

Notcreativenough · Answer

To each their own. Personally, I would do it only on polyamorous style terms as I think having physical needs met is important.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Honestly? I don't think they're real relationships...

Wise4myage · Answer

I've never tried that before, so I think Id be open to trying.

TheAfrikan · Answer

it depends on how you 2 are into each other n how much u both wanna meet, And some eventually come to reality.

TallAnon · Answer

Unless you actively try moving closer, it's bound to fail.

HugeDikEng · Answer

Dumb as fuck. Fantansy at best. No different than just jerking off alone.

Guardian45 · Answer

They can work, but they're extremely difficult and require more and better communication.

BLP11520 · Answer

I don't think they work, friends, yes,. more than friends... no

bubblegunnn · Answer

It worked on me! For 2 years

Anonymous · Answer

Just a masturbation partner over Webcam. Then get into a real relationship with someone local

exitseven · Answer

Been there , done that.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I have nothing against them.

TroyDT · Answer

Waste or time and energy

LavLavLuv · Answer

Something that’s not my thing

Iron_Man · Answer

They can work

Anonymous · Answer

Waste of time.

Alex8736 · Answer

If there is a plan in place anything can work out

TrillXHippy · Answer

It never works out

kay1315 · Answer

I personally cannot do them.

panamared1 · Answer

people need to touch people

Anonymous · Answer

Waste of time.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Body apart heart apart

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Not good, difficult to meet in person

SlothySlob · Answer

Painful experience.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

Don’t work.

OnlinePeanut22 · Answer

I don't like it

OddBeMe · Answer

Never works.

Twalli · Answer

Extremely difficult

EaterPeter · Answer

Bug no no

Anonymous · Answer

im in it now

How do you feel about long distance relationships?

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