Ok guys he's considering breaking up over a prank, isn't this an overreaction?

[Anonymous]

This is an update to yesterday's post:

So more men want kids than those that don't want?

Things got serious too much. Now he's thinking of leaving me and isn't sure of wanting to continue the relationship. Never expected that reaction to be honest. Caught me by surprise. I posted yesterday about it but the prank was done last week.

Just because I played a pregnancy prank on him doesn't mean I never want kids. I do someday but I'm definitely not one bit ready at this moment. Is he overreacting?

Yes he is

No he isn't

Updates

+1 y

He keeps saying that prank was all he needed to now consider breaking up. I'm surprised. I've never seen a man react that serious to just a prank.

[Notcreativenough]

I can assure you it's about far more than just the prank. If he's unable to articulate his actual feelings, or, for some reason you've made him feel he's unable to trust your reaction to it then I would just let what will be be. Life's far more complicated than what it seems on the surface, especially with emotional navigation. Best of luck, dear.

[Asker]

He broke up and said he was looking for a serious woman that wants a family, that I'm not that woman. He unfriended and doesn't want me to contact him at all. If I do he just won't answer or block me.

[Notcreativenough]

I'm sorry to hear that. I know how painful that is and although it's frustrating you can't control how someone sees you even if it's not the truth by your standards. If he won't hear you out than consider it his loss and go find your partner. Good luck

[FilmGuy93]

In terms of things to joke about, that was pretty tasteless, yeah, lol. I don’t know that I personally would break up with you over it, but that’s why I told you in my answer to your other question that the fake pregnancy thing women do is not a joke.

[Asker]

He really caught me by surprise with wanting to break up. Oh well, I guess I can't do anything about it.

[FilmGuy93]

Have you tried apologizing?

[Asker]

Nope

[FilmGuy93]

Why not try that?

[Asker]

Yeah ok

[FilmGuy93]

Best of luck! Please let me know how it goes

[Asker]

Thanks. Ok

[Asker]

It didn't work. He still broke up and said he's looking for a serious woman that wants a family and that I'm not that woman. He left and unfriended me and doesn't want to be contacted. It's over for good.

[FilmGuy93]

I’m sorry 😕

[OlderAndWiser]

It seems to me that it was a very mean-spirited prank and I understand him being extremely upset. You played with his felings just for a "laugh" and you were the only one laughing; that's not much of a joke, is it?

[Asker]

He just broke up. He wasn't upset or yelling but rather seemed so disappointed and had that ''it's just not worth it, this is boring'' expression on his face. He said he's now looking for a serious woman that wants a family and that I'm not her. He doesn't want me contacting him or he'll block me.

[Asker]

Needless to say wow... I'm speechless.

[OlderAndWiser]

One of the ways to move forward with your relationships in the future is to take time and really contemplate what happened here. Can you try to forget who you actually are and imaging being him? Imagine a guy being serious about wanting to find a permanent partner and start a family, h's finally embraced that as his future and he's ready to move forward with that plan. And then you made a joke of everything just so you could laugh at him! A relationhip is supposed to be a safe haven, a refuge from all of the conflict in the rest of our lives, a place where we protect and nurture each other. But you took what is important to him and made it a joke so you could laugh at him;
do you understand how that made him feel?

[Asker]

I'm just realizing the seriousness of this and I think I went too far with that prank. It was a good relationship and when I explained to my best friend what happened, she didn't find it funny either. She replied with an ''How would you like it if your next boyfriend in the future made a proposal prank on you''. She was right about that. I would be super pissed if a man ever did that. That would be like hitting me on my very weak spot. She said ''same thing'' and explained that both of those pranks have something in common; it's about toying with people's feeling and making fun of a future and serious plan, denegrating the person overall.
I couldn't say anymore. She got me silent with that.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes - quite often - becoming older and wiser happens wth a price tag attached. Now you are beginning to see that putting yourself in your partner's position and seeing it from their viewpoint IN ADVANCE may help you to avoid mistakes in the future, and you should try to make this a habit. Unfortunately, you can't undo what has been done and it is unlikely that you will ever be able to salvage this relationship.

Dating is a series of dates and relationships which fail until you finally find the relationship that succeeds. Bot none of those experiences are total failures if you learn some lessons and make yourself a better person in the process. That is why we go through the series of failed dates and relationships.

by the way, your friend didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, but she told you what you needed to hear. That is what a really good friend does. Express yoour appreciation for her candor and sincerity with you.

[JBlade]

He is not overreacting. Personally, I don’t want kids, and if my girlfriend played that type of “prank” I would consider leaving as well. For me, it’s not a joke and has major life implications for multiple people. Now even though he might want kids, it’s still a big break in trust for some people. Since you seem to think he is overreacting, you aren’t empathizing or acknowledging your partner’s feeling about this and it makes you seem like a shitty girlfriend.

[Asker]

He broke up and said he's looking for a serious woman that wants a family, that I'm not that woman. He unfriended me and requested me to not contact him at all. If I do he won't answer or block me.

[goaded]

The word "prank" is often used to justify being shitty to someone. Making someone think they were going to be a parent and then ripping that away from them is pretty shitty.

[Asker]

I didn't realize he was going to have a negative reaction and be hurt about it. I guess now that he's considering breaking up, I can't do anything about it.

[Agagagagaga]

No, you can’t. You fucked up pretty badly. What the hell were you thinking...

[Anonymous]

Yeah... that was a pretty fucked up and childish thing for you to do. Incredibly immature and juvenile. I would break up with you too. Like not hate you or be angry or anything, more like,

“Eww. Wtf did you just do that to me? To us? Wtf man?”

I wouldn’t want to talk to you either. I wouldn’t yell or be angry or anything, just very, very disappointed in the person I had just spent —no, wasted— however much of life with.

[Asker]

The break-up was actually in good terms but he still unfriended me, said he's looking for a serious woman that wants a family, that I'm not that woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry that all happened but it was probably for the best for both of you.

[spartan55]

So you haven't even apologized? Wow, you have zero self awareness.

[Asker]

Talk about no sense of humor. Many men often tell us to chill and not take everything serious. Some men complained that we're not into jokes. Oh well.
For the information, I just did that, which he stated that's one of the very few times I ever said sorry (I rarely ever do) but still broke up, said he's looking for a serious woman that wants a family.

[spartan55]

Do you feel like you shouldn't have to apologize in this case?

[Asker]

Since he didn't find it funny, ok I guess so. I just did but he still broke up. That didn't stop him from leaving.

[spartan55]

@asker "no sense of humor" Damn, you just don't get it. Seems like the only reason you apologized was to try to keep him from breaking up, which is just despicable on your part. You may want to do some self reflection. You seem to think it was just a harmless joke and not care at all about how your boyfriend feels. People who rarely apologize rarely have successful relationships.

[Asker]

I didn't realize how bad it was until may good friend (female) made a good comparison. She didn't find it funny either. She replied with an ''How would you like it if your next boyfriend in the future made a proposal prank on you''. She was right about that. I would be super pissed if a man ever did that. That would be like hitting me on my very weak spot. She said ''same thing'' and explained that both of those pranks have something in common; it's about toying with people's feeling and making fun of a future and serious plan, denegrating the person overall.
I couldn't say anymore. She got me silent with that.

I lost him for good and I can't do anything about it. I guess I'll just have to move on by now and date again at some point.

[Anonymous]

What a baby. Not you and your prank but him.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/aFVvuq67ST0

Get ready for the break up. Expect it to happen. It sounds like it will happen.

[Asker]

He just broke up. He said he's looking for a serious woman that wants a family and that I'm not her. He unfriended me and requested not to be contact. If I try contacting him, he'll either won't answer or block me.

[Opinion Owner]

Just as i expected. Time to find a new boyfriend, that isn't such a baby.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is pranking you now since he was considering being a parent with you before, seems a bit harsh to break up over since he was going to be father

[Asker]

I hope so. I hope he doesn't really mean it but he looks serious about it. Ever since we met, I don't think I've heard nor seen him playing any pranks on anymore, not that I know of.

[Opinion Owner]

How long have you been together?

[Asker]

2 years

[Opinion Owner]

Well that’s a lot of time invested in each other to throw it all away over one prank even though that was not a very good prank to pull

[Asker]

Nope he actually did followed through with the break-up. He wasn't angry nor even raising his voice but sounded so disappointed. The break-up was in good terms but he still unfriended me and said he was looking for a serious woman that wants a family and that I'm not that woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry to hear that, I guess he didn’t want to work things out, didn’t think the relationship was worth it to him

[YoHoeRose]

You pretended to be pregnant?🤨 low blow

[Asker]

yeah I thought I was funny

[CloudMassacre]

I think that’s pretty fucked up personally

[Asker]

This is the first time I've seen a man react that badly. It's like the equivalent of a man trying to prank his girlfriend with a fake proposal and her being heartbroken.
I guess I just sadly found out what not to joke to a man about then. I can't do anything now.

[CloudMassacre]

Like, I don’t want kids, and if someone just pregnancy scare pranked me, I would leave. I take that shit super seriously, like I’ll likely have a vasectomy before I lose my virginity that’s how serious of a thing it is to me. I’m sure there’s people who take that kind of thing in a passing joking way, but it’s not a joke for me

[Asker]

He broke up. He said I'm not the serious woman that wants kids... the one he's looking for. He unfriended me and told me not to contact him. If I do he'll block me.

[CloudMassacre]

I’d leave him be then and move on

[Bear-Naked]

It depends

[Asker]

He left. He said he's looking for a serious woman that wants a family and that I'm not that woman.

[Bear-Naked]

What was the prank?

[Asker]

I pretended to be pregnant and showed him a fake pregnancy test positive. He seemed excited about being a father for the first time for several minutes, the look on his face... till I told him it's a prank and started laughing.