Is it good parenting to hit your child and hug them later?

[fonduegirl]

Yeah! It shows you were angry but you love them

Nope! If you love them, you must regret it, if so, why hit them?

Updates

+1 y

Spanking is hitting lmao. I can't believe some of y'all are making excuses XD

[WonderBell99]

No, of course not. I'm not planning to have kids, but if I do in the future, I will not hit them unless absolutely necessary. My parents hit me often for silly stuff, and I was well behaved for the most part. They hit my brother as well. Granted, my childhood was not exactly the happiest considering the fact that my parents were almost always fighting or yelling at each other when they were together.

Whenever I misbehaved, my dad used to hit me terribly (usually with a belt) and then hug me later and bought me chocolates or whatever he thought would make me happy. I always thought he just felt guilty. My mum also used to hit me black and blue, sometimes with a belt, and other times with a remote or the steel spatula thingy you use for cooking. Oh, I also forgot her slippers, lmao. Classic mom move.

I don't think hitting your kids would do you any good. Even after my brother grew up, my parents kept hitting him and one day, he hit them back... he is rather big, and my parents are old. They could not tolerate it lmao. I usually just scream whenever they *try* hitting me, and it works.

[WonderBell99]

*If* I do become a mother, I would just ground them and be stern or yell at them if they are being disrespectful.

[Blackcupcake]

no… I don’t think hitting them would teach them anything other than fear. I would want my kids to respect me, not be afraid of me.

[caring__1]

If you want to teach them to believe violence is the best way to address disagreements, go for it. Spankings aren't for the kids; they're merely an outlet for the parent's frustration. You will never see a long-term positive outcome from using violence to promote your agenda. Just look at Putin in Ukraine.

[Havthrills]

I didn't select. I have been spanked but not actually hit. There's a difference. I had 3 warnings then spanked. I was always told why I was getting spanked. My parents love me and would do anything for me. Still do. Punishment and abuse are completely different.

[Havthrills]

What excuses are you referring to?

[fonduegirl]

That "spanking is okay" but "hitting is not" and spanking ≠ hitting

[fonduegirl]

My mom makes those saying I do slap my children but it's not hard enough, it's actually a pay but an angry one... Which is an excuse.

[Havthrills]

OK. I take hitting as like getting slapped right away or punched. So I guess spanking is hitting. But spanking is punishment for being bad. As long as it's warned. Like it was with me. 3 warnings and then spanking. Lol

[fonduegirl]

Instead, if your mom says "you're grounded" or "no video game for a month", it's much healthy and doesn't leave a negative imprint on the child

[fonduegirl]

But yeah sure, the warnings are a good way too, well somewhat.

[Havthrills]

I have no negative imprint. Besides, she couldn't take away my stuff cause they were mine. I bought them. Lol. Well, most. And I have seen people grounding and taking away or just talking to them that it's wrong. The impact? Nothing. They did it again, and again. Because they will just get a talking to. Seen it. Personally. Also seen the ones "I'll get you a candy bar if you stop crying" and those kids are selfish.

[fonduegirl]

All right

[midnightmoon05]

I was going to ask you about your upbringing being Indian background.
If this question is about you…then I understand you better.

the answer is NO

There is a difference between abusing and gently hitting (depending on age).

I gently hit my daughters hand when she went to my room and touched/played with my perfume again. I took her hand, hit it gently with my own. THEN EXPLINED “ mommy said you can’t play with my perfume last time because it can get into your eyes or break the bottle” you didn’t listen. You can always ask mommy if you want to try. based on this, the child should feel bad and understand.
contine by saying…mommy still love you, but you must understand there are things that are dangerous that you don’t do after we have talk about it. Now which perfume do you want, mommy will help you. After that…take her, go play with her or give her some coloring page to work on.

when my son (7 or 8 years old) asked if he can touch the stove fire (he was curious)

guess what I said?

[fonduegirl]

You don't need to sympathize with me lmao

[midnightmoon05]

You didn’t answer my question.

[fonduegirl]

I don't fucking know what you said

[midnightmoon05]

You know some little kids would ask “mom, can I touch the fire?”
How do you think I respond to my 7yr. old son.

[fonduegirl]

Dunno, don't care.

[TheVigilantOne]

There’s no need to hit children, hitting someone is assault, you can punish a child by other means, like taking toys away or make them do boring tasks, take a charger away so they can’t charge their devices, there’s so many things you can do to punish a child without resorting to violence.

[art84]

My brother and his wife don't spank their girls but do ground them for getting into trouble. My niece told my mom that hitting someone was abuse which surprised me that an 8 year old would know a big word like that. Though it makes wonder if my niece has gotten spanked by her other grandparents or someone.

[DubiousIntentions]

In the Bible is says that God disciplines the ones he loves. It corrects them and makes them stronger and trains them for life's hurdles. Hugging them tells them you love them and are not angry with them, and that these behaviors are not the types of actions that are acceptable behavior.

[TheStarboy]

No,

I was hit once as a child and my relationship with my father never went back to normal. It wasn't a conscious decision i made, it was subconcious based off of fear.

You'll find no matter what, Communicating with your child is much more effective than any form of violence. Even abusive forms of communication which can be called violence.

Your children are not dogs that you hit them to discipline them.

[Amy10223]

No, it's never "ok" to hit a child. It just shows you've lost your cool and let your anger control you. Trauma bonding? I'd like to know what child psychologists think about that.

[pizzalovershouse]

Easier to restrict things from them like hanging out with friends or eat there favorite food in front of them an tell them a dead a time what your making but there not going to get any cuz of what they did

[nocturnalbreed]

You show angry 😡 when you are angry. You show love when you love them. If you do these one after another it's just fucked up. If you want to punish them then beat the shit out of them and a day later when you love them you treat them with love and affection.

[Jennz6]

I have been spanked a lot, I think that it would be great if I was told after that I am loved 🥰

[Bolty44]

That's what she said🌚

[Jennz6]

@Bolty44 Yes Sir

[exitseven]

I didn't hit my kids/. I sure yelled at them enough.

[AsaKyo]

That's extreme psychological abuse on top of physical abuse

[TallAnon]

There is no reason to hit a child and anyone that disagree is a child abuser. Let's see who responds to this comment.

[art84]

My brother never disciplined his boys and they are outta control with talking back and being jerks as teenagers.

[TallAnon]

We never nuked America and school shootings are out of control, obviously the only solution is to nuke America. Think twice before you hit submit.

[Guy13]

Not me.. sit there and think about it and go apologize to your sister or whomever.

[Pete671]

Never strike your kids, it's abuse, I have three kids and never raised a hand to any of them, they all turned out ok, when they did wrong I hugged them,

[postaldudePL123]

Violence against kids is never justified.

[Debbie14217]

dont hit... spank

[EaterPeter]

Nope